A/N: Why hello again. It's been a while hasn't it. So sorry that it has taken me this long to update I've had this written since the first part of July, but have not had the time to type it up, or rather the motivation. I'm going to go ahead and apologize now for the extreme silliness that is present in this chapter. I wrote this on the way to Kings Island and it is rather… uhh… stupid but you should read it anyway because I took my time to write this for you. Just so you don't get confused anything in ( ) is an author's note… mostly just obnoxious comments from me because I was extremely hyper and slightly sarcastic at that time. Hope you all enjoy and thank you for putting up with my rambling.
Disclaimer: I own Lord of the Rings! I'm also the POPE!!!!
You're as Short as a Hobbit
Chapter 5
By Stellamucca
"Dun dun dun dun
dun dun dun dun…" Lindz hummed to herself as she darted around,
hiding between trees.
Several days had gone by and
each day Lindz went out to the woods to search for her lost friends.
After a while, she found it rather amusing. Wearing her sunglasses, she
would dart around suspiciously under the trees humming her own theme song.
"Dive!" Lindsay
shouted as she flung herself to the ground. After lying there for several
seconds, she lifted her head to look around. She quickly jumped up and
began running again. A branch caught her sunglasses, knocking them from
her face and onto the ground.
"My identity!"
shouted Lindz as she covered her eyes with her hands and searched the ground
for her glasses. When she found them, she quickly picked them up and put
the back on. She continued through the woods, when suddenly she smelled
something burning. The warmth from a fire was around her, but she could
not find the source of the heat and smoke.
"Your hair!"
screamed some random voice of the forest.
"Ahh!" Lindz cried
as she looked up to see flames instead of her hair.
"Ooh! Roasted
Marshmallows," said the voice. Out of nowhere (or maybe a tree), a
squirrel appeared with a bag of marshmallows. It scampered up Lindz and
perched upon her shoulder. The squirrel then pulled a stick out of thin
air, placed a marshmallow on it and held it over Lindz's head.
Lindsay was standing there rather confused by the squirrel, when opossums started charging towards her, teeth barred.
"Evil crackhead opossums!" the mysterious voice shouted as I broke in to maniacal laughter.
The evil crackhead opossums then proceeded to chew Lindz's ankles. One of the opossums backed away so it could get a running start to leap at her arm, but when it ran back towards her it veered and ran into a tree rendering it unconscious. (Notice they are evil crackhead opossums; it was high at the time and its judgment was impaired. Don't do drugs!)
"We need reinforcements! We've already lost one!" shouted to the head crackhead opossum. "Call the back up."
A guitar was heard wailing in the background. Lindsay quickly turned, sensing a presence behind her.
"Aha! They have arrived quickly as usual," the opossum whispered.
There stood a pyramid of bunnies, but these were no ordinary bunnies, they were (dramatic music) Ninja Bunnies. Lindz stared at the bunnies slightly confuse (and kind of in pain, you know with the fire and her ankles being chewed). The bunnies then began to jump off the pyramid and charge towards the girl ninja style (flips and stuff). One by one, the bunnies leaped at her. Soon Lindz was engulfed by the evil crackhead opossums and ninja bunnies (the squirrel was still roasting the marshmallows).
"Ah! Killer bunnies!" Lindz swatted at the rabbits with a rubber chicken (don't even ask me where the rubber chicken came from).
The battle raged on (sure, it's a battle or maybe just some furry woodland creatures attacking her). Suddenly the opossums and bunnies froze and the squirrel dropped his marshmallow on Lindz's head. Complete silence fell upon the forest. Then a thundering voice filled the forest.
"Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg
Thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul!"
Once the voice stopped, there was silence once again. Lindsay looked around the wood completely confused by what was going on. Several moments passes in quiet with the occasional opossum knowing on Lindz's leg.
Birds began to chirp as suddenly as the voice had come. The sounds of the chirping were almost deafening. "Chirp chirp tweet twitter chirp peep tweet chirp tweet chirp tweet tweet twitter peep chirp tweet!" ("Lindsay, this is your punishment for not liking Lord of the Rings!" is the translation. Yep, I speak bird).
Peace fell on the forest as another bird fluttered gently down out of a tree to rest on her shoulder. Then very quietly, it spoke. "This is all punishment for disliking things before you have found whether you truly dislike them. You claimed that you did not like Lord of the Rings; that it was stupid, but you had ever read the books and become part of that world. You never watched the movies to at least have a taste of it and learn about it. You judge before you know and so you are punished. That is why you were left behind while your friends were taken to Middle Earth. You will be given one year to give that world a fair chance, if you fail to do so, your friends will never be allowed to return to this world. They will stay in Middle Earth forever."
The bird then fluttered to a branch of a nearby tree and turned to her once more. "One year. Go, read," and with those words it vanished in a puff of smoke and fire.
Lindz looked around the area. All of the opossums and bunnies had gone. The fire on her head had gone out leaving her with a baldhead. The squirrel sat on her shoulder scraping his last marshmallow off her head. It then looked at her with his big grey eyes, gave a little squeak and scampered off into the woods.
The girl opened and closed her mouth as if trying to say something, but no sound would come out. She then sat on the ground, flopped backwards and knew no more of that day.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hope you enjoyed! I would like to thank my malice who reviewed! Hope you all will take the time to review I love hearing from people. And if you have any ideas please let me know. So review away!!!!! ^_^
