Michael Myers vs. Ash

A girl is running down the street while Michael Myers is chasing her.
Girl: HELP!

The girl runs through an intersection. As Michael walks through the section, a yellow Delta 88 comes out of nowhere and hits him.

Ash sticks his head out the window.
Ash: Did I get him?

Ash backs up over Myers. Ash sees the body lying on the ground. Michael gets back up, still alive and looks at Ash.
Ash: Whoa. No problem.

Ash runs over Michael again, but Myers is still alive.
Ash: Looks like I'm gonna have to do it the old fashion way.

Ash gets out of the car and starts his chainsaw.
Ash: OH YEAH! LET'S ROCK!

Michael runs after Ash with his knife in the air.
Ash: Oh! A knife. How original.

Ash shoots Myers in the chest as he is running at Ash and Myers hits the ground. Ash looks at his gun.

Ash: Ah. My boomstick. Works every time.

As Ash walks off Michael gets back up and picks up his knife. Ash hears the knife and turns his head around to see what is going on.
Ash: ::ugh::

Myers runs after Ash. Myers picks up his knife while he is right behind Ash to kill him, but Ash points the gun behind and shoots Myers in the face.
Ash: Ever listened to Jackel? Well, I'm the lumberjack now, baby. And I'm gonna cut you down to size!

Ash cuts Myers' head off and dismembers his whole entire body. Ash puts the parts of Myers' body in a sheet he finds on a nearby clothesline and puts the sheet in the trunk of his car.
Ash: And stay dead, dirt bag.

Ash scratches Myers' name off the list. Ash drives down to a river and dumps the body. Our hero drives off into the sunrise to kill his next target.