Walking into the living room Carter was shocked to find his mother and Megan partaking in an animated conversation on one of the sofas. He'd expected at least an hour long lecture from her about how Megan wasn't good enough for him and he could do so much better. But his mother seemed to be thoroughly enjoying her company. Either that or she was a great actress.

His dad however was sat on the opposite side of the room seemingly oblivious to the presence of everyone else, his gazed focused outside on the expansive gardens that surrounded the house.

"John" Megan exclaimed as she spotted her fiancé.

"Sorry I took so long" he apologised hoping she wouldn't ask where he'd been. He was still having a hard time making sense of everything himself, without having to explain the complicated situation to someone else. He knew he'd have to tell Megan at some point, she deserved to know but for now it could wait.

"Don't worry about it" she told him, her willingness to make the most of any situation was what first thing that attracted him to Megan. He'd been giving immunisations in Kinasha when she arrived with a truck of clothes and toys along with two other volunteers. From the minute she stepped out of the truck till the minute she left later to take the leftover clothes to another village she never stopped smiling. Despite the depressing situation in the village.

"I was just getting to know my future mother in law" she told him. He half expected his mother to grimace and let him know she didn't approve in her own way. Instead she just smiled and carried on flicking through the photo album she'd obviously been showing Megan.

"I'll leave you two to it" he said "I'll be over here if you need me" he informed them motioning towards where his dad was seated.

"Let's take a walk" his dad instructed him just as he was about to sit down.

"It's below zero out there" Carter observed.

"Well we'll wear coats" that was his dad's way of telling him it was not a matter to be discussed.

"Fine" Carter relented following his dad to the patio area outside.

"Now … what's going on?" Jack said once he was sure they were alone.

"What do you mean" Carter was genuinely confused. Normally it was his mother who gave him the third degree.

"I came back to find not only have you broken up with Abigail but that you're engaged to someone else. If I thought it's what you wanted I'd be only to willing to offer my congratulations. But it's not is it?" it was a more of a statement than a question.

"You've been here all of 5 minutes and you're already jumping to conclusions about my personal life. What gives you the right" he wasn't really angry with his father. He'd just rather forget about his complicated life for today.

"Because believe it or not I care about you. If this was what you wanted you wouldn't be walking around like you'd just been given the death sentence"

Carter sighed almost defeated his dad was right, this wasn't what he wanted, but he felt trapped. Abby had made it perfectly clear he had no part in her life despite the fact she was carrying his child. So he had to make it work with Megan or he'd have nothing.

"I thought so … you still love her don't you?" Jack asked following his son to the patio chairs.

"I thought I could move on and maybe in time learn to love Megan" Carter began to try and explain "I mean she's everything I thought I was looking for devoted, positive and caring but …"

"She's not Abby" his dad finished for him.

"No" it was then that he decided to tell his dad everything "Seeing Abby again last night brought it all back, what we had and how it will be impossible for me to love Megan while I'm still in love with her. And it gets more complicated than that" Carter said turning to face him so he could see his reaction "Abby's having my baby"

"Wow" was all Jack could say "Congratulations"

From his son's pained expression he wasn't so sure of congratulations was in order or not "Then why do you look like some who just lost both his limbs instead of someone who is going to be a father?"

"Because it's everything I want and I can't have it" Carter explained.

"You've lost me somewhere" Jack said not following.

"It's made me realise that the only future I want is with Abby. And now she's having my child I know I want it all, with her. But she doesn't want it with me. I walked out on her and gave up on us. I hurt her so much she can't even bear to be around me"

"It'll take time but if it's what you want surely it's worth fighting for" Jack told his son.

"I know that .."

"Then what are you doing marrying Megan. I'm sure she's a lovely person but it's not fair on her and it isn't fair on you" Jack sighed "You have to take the risk and fight for Abby if you don't you'll end up with nothing but if you do … well you could end up with everything you've ever wanted"

"How do I tell her, she's so excited" Carter asked. He didn't want to hurt Megan but he had to try and fight for Abby. For his child. Even though he could end up with nothing, his dad was right it was worth the risk, Abby was worth the risk.

"You just have to be honest John. It's all you can do"

***

"Hello" Abby said as she managed to answer the phone before whoever it was gave up. Not even bothering to take her coat off she made her way to the sofa. She was both mentally and physically exhausted but she didn't want to slip back into old habits so no matter how tired she was she had made a promise to herself and her unborn child that when things got tough she would either ring her sponsor or attend an AA meeting.

She'd never understood before how working the steps helped but ever since she found out she was pregnant they'd given her a strength to take each challenge and control it, instead of letting it control her.

"Mum .. Yeah I just got in … listen I'm really glad you called, yeah I'm fine" she stopped for a minute realising it was now or never "Actually I'm not doing too great everything's kind of a mess, I was wondering if maybe I could come and stay with you for a week or so"

Abby listened to Maggie's soft words of concern and her admittance that although she had never been the greatest mother she had her life on track now and was there for Abby whenever she needed her. She hated admitting to people that she needed them but she was going to be a mother herself in 5 months. Maybe it was time she laid her own ghosts to rest so she could concentrate on the future instead of letting her own fear and insecurities keep her stuck in the past.

"I'm going to drive down, hopefully it'll give me time to think, tomorrow hopefully I just have a few things to sort out here first. I'll ring you just before I leave … I'm looking forward to it as well" and for the first time in many years she actually meant it "Bye Mum"

Abby let out a contented sight. Hopefully the time away from Chicago would give her a chance to sort out what she was going to about the situation with Carter. More than that though she hoped that with her mum on her meds it would allow them to even the balance out. Allow Maggie to be the mother, luckily for Abby Maggie was in a place where she could be there for her daughter when she needed it most.

***

Susan was exhausted, she hated working Christmas day. Patient after patient who had eaten too much or got far too into the Christmas spirit and drunk too much was the order of the day. She was glad to finally be out of the hospital as she wrapped her scarf around her and headed for the electric doors.

"You're meant to be resting" she said as she spotted Abby sitting on the bench "doctors orders remember?"

"And I'm going to I just needed to sort something out" she explained as Susan sat down beside her "I've decided to go away for a while. I've just been to clear it with Weaver"

"Where? And how long is 'a while'"

"I'm going to stay with my mum" noticing Susan's surprised look she started explaining "She's been on her meds for 3 years now. That's longer than I can ever remember her staying on them before. For once when I actually need her she's in a position to help me. For so long I've tried to fight the fact that sometimes the reason I get so angry with her is because I need her and I'm terrified she's going to let me down again. I'm going to be a mother myself and before that happens I need to forgive her because as much as I've tried to convince myself otherwise I need her in my life"

"I understand why you have to go just don't stay too long … I'll miss you" Susan admitted.

"I won't … besides if you think you're getting out of being my birthing partner that easily" Abby said causing Susan to look up from the floor with a goofy grin on her face.

"Really? You want me to be your birthing partner"

"Yeah I was going to ask you last night but what with .." Abby trailed off "Besides you're an old hand at it" she joked.

"I'd be honoured and you had better call me. I want daily updates"

"Of course" she agreed as she spotted Luka walking towards them "Besides I want all the dirt, just because I'm not here it doesn't mean I won't be pestering you for gossip"

"I'll ring you when I get there" Abby said getting up off the bench as Luka approached.

"Take care ok?" Susan called after her. Too which Abby simply replied with a smile. Susan couldn't help but hope that maybe things would work out ok for both Carter and Abby … However complicated things were at the moment.

______

A/N: No matter how many times I read through it there always seems to be mistakes. However being rather new to the world of fan fiction I have no idea where to find someone willing to beta. If anyone is interested please e-mail me (address is in my profile) it would be greatly appreciated.