Give Ash a Hand
Ash pulls up his car
into the driveway and gets out of the car. He walks up to his front
door and opens it. He walks in and puts his chainsaw and his
boomstick and puts them on his kitchen table. Ash walks into and sits
down to watch some TV. He turns it on and "The Adventures of
Brisco County Jr." is on the TV.
Ash: Ah! What else it
on?
Ash flips through the channels and takes his shoes off
while he does it. He finally stops at "Zorro."
Ash:
Ahhh. Some good family television.
Ash watches the TV for
a while. Someone comes up behind him and taps him on the
shoulder.
Ash: Oh. Hey. I didn't know you had a key to my-.
As Ash turns around he realizes that the thing that touched him is
none other than his SEVERED HAND! Ash stands up in horror.
Ash:
I was wondering where you were!
His hand gives him the
bird.
Ash: OH! You little-!
Ash runs over to his
table and picks up his boomstick. He looks around, but his hand is
nowhere in sight.
Ash: OK! Where are you!?
Ash's
hand runs off into the hallway.
Ash: I'm gonna finish you off!
Once and for all!
Ash runs into his hallway looking for
his hand. The hand runs into Ash's bathroom.
Ash: HA! Now you
have nowhere to go!
Ash runs into his bathroom. The hand
is running around in circles because Ash blocked its only way
out.
Ash: Gotcha now! You little sucker!
Ash's hand
flicks him off.
Ash: OH! So that's what you want!
Ash pumps a shell into his boomstick and shoots his hand.
Ash:
HA! Now you're dead!
Ash's hand lies lifeless on the
bathroom floor. Ash quickly picks up his hand and takes it into the
kitchen.
Ash: I'm gonna make sure you stay dead.
Ash gets a knife
and cuts the fingers off the hand and shoves the fingers and the hand
into the garbage disposal.
Ash: That'll teach ya.
Ash throws his shotgun on the table and walks into his bedroom to
sleep.
Ash: It's been a long weekend. I hope no one make
another stupid horror movie as long as I live.
