Title: Broken Silence Author: Katy Rating: PG13, nothing really happens that is high rated, it is just a bit dark Pairing: Ginny/Another girl, I don't think I'll tell you quite yet if you don't mind. Warnings: Dark, suicide and femslash. Gosh that is a hell of a lot of warnings for my first fic.. What ever happened to me being a 'nice girl'? What would my mother say now! Disclaimer: If you are under the misapprehension that this could possibly be mine then you are not only wrong but extremely misguided. Author's Notes: As I said, this is my first ever finished fic. So I am a tad nervous.

I need to give my undying thanks to Enismirdal for her wonderful expertise, she managed to correct my grammar, point out when I wasn't making any sense, make me actually write this and then actually let it out to annoy all you lot with! Not only that, but she also kisses me lots (so under- rated darling!) and eats Bailey's ice-cream with me when I feel sad.. So lots and lots of kisses for you, not like I wasn't going to kiss you anyway. but there we go. Can never kiss too much, that's my philosophy. Thanks sweetie

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The End

'It doesn't have to be like this'

When my Pansy first said that to me I hated her, for an instant, nearly as much as I hated myself. I had made a decision, and I was bleeding, I would die and it would all be over. I would not even die in vain, I would save them all, my blood, my wronged soul would save them and I would be released. But as she said that it suddenly crashed down on me, like a storm finally breaking overhead, just how alone I was. I made to retreat, to draw my power around myself and be alone again to complete my end. But I just couldn't do it. The power that I had spent all those years amassing hit me, hard. For the first time; I felt the weight of what I had become and could no longer stand up to the strain. I just could not be anymore, I was tired, living was too awful to countenance but death too tiring to execute. So I collapsed. I cried. I can still feel that emotion the unstoppable shaking, I cried and was myself again, a girl of sixteen who was being crushed under a power she could scarcely control.

Endings, or for that matter beginnings, are never as neat and easy as they seem, and I was not able to cry my healing tears and escape as a new and healed person. It wasn't a case of her saying that and me being freed. I was part way through a spell designed to kill me and I fell apart, midway between life and death, I had to stop the blood. I can remember that moment more clearly than the all years before, it was so painful, but rather than the numbing deadening pain of the hatred that had gone before, I felt alive. It was a pain that served to remind me that I did exist, that I was real.

But all I could do was cry; I wanted never to have to stop; I wanted my mum to come and look after me. I was alone, in all the world I had no friends, I had hidden myself so totally from my family that I could no longer even feel their presence. Pansy, seeing me cry, looked terrified; I could tell that she could understand the power of the spell. I was going to die now anyway, it was useless to fight it; I had opened my veins to deep. Regardless, this was the end.

Then she did something that I would never have expected from her, she stepped forward and took my wand out of my unresisting fingers, she looked at it for a moment, I could see her making the decision. The fear balancing the light which shone out of her. The light won; just. I could see that it was taking all her resolve, my eyes felt cloudy. My arm grew heavy; my body was cold, terribly cold, but simultaneously so far away that I could only just feel it. Through the water in front of me, I saw her drag my wand along her own wrist and her face twist at the pain. She grabbed my hand, palms together. And then I knew what she was trying to do. I tried to shout out to her to tell her that it was foolish, that she didn't have the power. She screamed out, and I could hardly bear it, but I could do nothing, I could not even release her hand; I was slipping.