Predator vs. Ash
A group of commandos
are fighting an invisible being.
Soldier 1: I can't hit this
thing!
Soldier 2: TRY! TRY! AHHH!
The being takes out
one of the soldiers.
Soldier 1: CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN!
The
soldier looks around for the being. It's nowhere to be found.
Soldier
1: AHHH! Where are you!?
Three dots appear on the
soldier's head. BLAM! The soldier is taken out. The Predator jumps
down and rips the spine out of both the soldiers. He takes the skulls
and flies off into nowhere.
Ash is slicing through the
jungle with his chainsaw.
Ash: Okay. Where are you?
Predator looks down at Ash. Suddenly Ash has three dots on his head.
Ash looks up and sees the Predator.
Ash: Gotcha!
Ash
pulls out his twelve gauge and shoots at the Predator. The Predator
screams in pain. Ash shot him in the shoulder. Predator shoots at Ash
like crazy. Ash dodges one that goes to a log. BLAM! Another one hits
a nearby tree that gets cut in half. BOOM! Ash looks around. The
Predator is nowhere to be found.
Ash: I'll get you tonight.
Ash walks over to a nearby body. He finds a mini-gun.
Ash:
I know what to do with this. Heh heh heh.
Ash picks up the
gun and runs to a disserted army camp. He takes out a drill and takes
the gun apart. He fixes it so that it can fit on his hand like the
chainsaw does now. Ash takes the chainsaw off, hangs the chainsaw on
his belt, and attaches the mini-gun to his arm.
Ash: Groovy!
Ash gets ready for the fight. He dumps ten gallons of blood on top of
himself to throw off Predator's heat vision.
Ash: AH!
The Predator fixes his wound and sets off to find Ash.
It is now nighttime.
Darkness is everywhere. Ash is waiting patiently inside of a log. The
Predator walks by looking to find any signs of heat. There isn't any.
Predator walks off to search for Ash's heat signature.
Ash:
Good...
Ash crawls out of the log and stands up behind
Predator, and whistles. Predator turns around to face Ash.
Ash:
Looking for me!?
Ash lets out about 100 rounds of ammo
before Predator hits the ground. Ash walks up to Predator.
Ash:
You need to pick a new sport.
Predator takes off his
helmet revealing his ugly face.
Ash: Uh! You should sue your
surgeon.
Predator looks at Ash and starts laughing. The
Predator has activated a bomb.
Ash: Now that's
cheap!
Predator: RUN! IF YOU CAN! HA! HA! HA!
Ash runs
through the jungle. He still hears the Predator's laugh a mile away.
The bomb explodes right before Ash can get into a cave.
Ash:
Must... get... out... of... here!
A wall of fire is
running right behind Ash has he jumps into the cave. The wall of fire
stops right as it reaches the cave.
Ash: That... was...
close!
Ash walks outside the cave to look at the
destruction. The explosion took out half the forest.
Ash: OH
MAN! WOOOO! HA! HA! I made it! Now I gotta get out of here before
that thing's friends come looking for him!
A helicopter
comes lands in the middle of the blast area. Ash is waiting. The door
to the chopper opens up.
Soldier 3: What in god's name
happened!?
Ash: World War III. Can you get me out of here?
Soldier
3: Where are all the men at!?
Ash: They're all dead. Killed by
that thing. That Predator.
Soldier 3: What happened to you!?
Ash:
Long story. Take me to Maryland!
Ash jumps into the
chopper and flies to Maryland to fight.
