The Wolf Man vs. Ash
Ash is walking in a
remote forest, looking for any deadites.
Ash: They're here
somewhere.
As Ash is walking by a tree, a man grabs is
leg.
Ash: AH!
Voice: Heeeeeeeelpppp!
Ash picks
the man up to see who it is.
Ash: Who are you?
Larry:
Talbot. Larry Talbot.
Ash: What are you doing out here,
Larry?
Larry: I don't know. I was in my room asleep, and then I
wake up here. It's very strange.
Ash: I'll say.
Larry: Please.
Take me back to my house. I'll give you food and a bed to sleep
in.
Ash: Alright. Will do.
Ash picks up Larry and
within minutes, they're back at Larry's house. As Ash carries Larry
into the house, a maid runs over and takes Larry up to his
room.
Maid: Wait here.
Ash: Okay.
The maid comes
down the steps to talk to Ash.
Ash: So. What's wrong with our
sleepwalker up there?
Maid: I don't know. This happens every time
there is a full moon.
Ash: Full moon, eh.
Maid: Yes. Mr. Talbot
goes to bed and in the morning, he wakes up in the forest.
Ash:
Does anything else weird happen during a full moon?
Maid: Yes. I
person always gets killed.
Ash: Hmmmm. I'll go have a little chat
with our sleepwalker upstairs.
Ash walks upstairs into
Talbot's room.
Ash: How's it goin', Larry?
Larry: I'm doing
well. What's your name?
Ash: Name's Ash. House wares.
Larry:
House wares?
Ash: I work at a convenience store called
"S-MART."
Larry: Well, Ash, I want to thank you for
saving me.
Ash: You're welcome. So, uh, do you know why all the
people die when there is a full moon?
Larry: The only thing I do
know is that I know the people that get killed.
Ash: Did a wolf
bite you anytime in your life?
Larry: Once. A couple of weeks
ago.
Ash: You're a werewolf.
Larry: A werewolf?
Ash: Yeah, a
werewolf.
Larry: How do you stop a werewolf?
Ash: With a silver
bullet.
Larry: A silver bullet?
Ash: Yeah, we're gonna have to
wait 'til nightfall to finish this.
It is now nightfall
and Larry is getting ready to change into the wolf.
Larry: Are
you going to kill me?
Ash puts a silver chain on his
chainsaw and silver bullets into his gun.
Ash: Yeah. It's the
only way to stop these murders.
Larry: I understand.
Just
then, a beam of moonlight hits Talbot. He grows fangs.
Ash:
Whoa.
Talbot grows claws.
Ash: Ow.
Talbot grows hair all over his body.
Ash: Groovy.
Talbot is now a fully-grown werewolf.
Ash: Sorry, Larry.
As Ash approaches the Wolf Man; he throws Ash out of the window.
Ash:
OH! I'm gonna make this slow and painful!
The Wolf Man
jumps out of the window in front of Ash.
Wolf Man: Grrr!
Ash:
You are one ugly beast.
Ash rams his chainsaw into the
Wolf Man's chest and lifts him into the air.
Ash: This is
going to hurt!
Ash pulls the chainsaw out and rams his
boomstick into the hole he just made and pulls the trigger, killing
the Wolf Man. The Wolf Man goes flying and hits the ground hard. Ash
walks up to the corpse.
Ash: No hard feelings.
The
Wolf Man slowly turns back into Larry.
Ash: Would you get a
load of that!
Ash crosses the Wolf Man's name off of the
list and heads through the woods to take on his next opponent.
