Author: Goruda Shiro

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Rating: Not sure what to rate this... I'll say R, for sexual suggestions.

Pairing: Andrew/Xander.

Notes: This takes place after the Hellmouth imploded. Third person narration for this baby.

Background Summary: Before leaving the remaining crater, they decide to go to LA and make some money before moving on. Xander overhears Andrew telling one of the slayers that he hated being alone, but that he was gonna stay, even though no one else wanted to. Andrew, having gotten a job at a comic book shop, was very happy with it and got himself a place to stay. Having his own job with a construction company, Xander decided to stay, under the guise of wanting to keep the job and steering clear of any hellmouthy activity. In reality, he felt a certain obligation to Andrew, both suffering Anya's death. Andrew rented a small apartment in the city near his, and Xander's, job, and Xander moved in after the rest of the scoobies left, slayers in tow.

Broken Hearts and Crystal Tears

Xander swallowed slightly as he watched Andrew lay there, the moon on his face from the window beside his bed. His eyes were soon open and he saw Xander, smiling. He made as if to move over, although there was already more than enough room for the other man. Then a pat on the bed, and Xander smiled and joined him. He laid on his back, under the covers, and nothing was said. No objections made, Andrew curled into his side, half draped over him. An arm wrapped around Andrew and they both closed their eyes, sleep taking them quickly.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Andrew, of course, woke first, but this time made no pretenses as he, however unwillingly, got out of bed. He looked back at Xander and a big smile crossed his face. Xander was still asleep and he gently moved some hair from his forhead. It was a work day, Monday, so he had to go. Xander, too, but not till later.

Blushing slightly, he turned, even though his bed partner still slept, and stripped. After putting his cloths in his hamper, and grabbing some clean ones and a towel, he went into the bathroom. For some reason, he didn't bother locking the doors, but he did close them.

Soon after his shower, he was dressed and the spell from a little while ago was over. He wondered, as he makes breakfast, if the man just emerging from his room, stretching, wearing nothing but those sexy black silk boxers... chiseled chest and stomach stretching tight in the most... And he forced himself to turn away, thoughts once again back to his wonder. He was confused, and while last nights visit was pleasant, it confused him more.

He really liked Xander. He could even say he loved him. But he wasn't sure that the other man felt the same. The silence, uncomfortable only to him, dragged on through the quick breakfast. After their parting and the bidding of good days, he quickly made his way to work.

Xander, however, had noticed something off. But he had his own worries. Well, they weren't so much worries as dilemmas. He still wasn't sure how he felt about the boy. Rather, he wasn't sure about how he felt. He knew he liked holding him, and especially skin to skin. He knew that the boy excited him, in the not innocent ways. He was also very comfortable with him, considering that, once invited, he, in only boxers, got in bed with him, then held him against himself.

Thoughts of Andrew nagged him all through work, too, and once, he almost dropped a beam on himself. The work day was long and hard for him, and he wondered how he made it through.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Andrew sighed dreamily as he glanced over the comic that he wasn't really reading. There were a few customers, but no one ready to purchase yet. Thoughts of his beloved roommate had him staring dreamily into space more times than not.

He started as a potential customer approached, and stood politely at the counter, smiling his brightest to him. "Hello. I'm Andrew. Is there something I can help you with?"

The frowning man stepped up to the counter, looking a bit lost. "I'm looking for New X-Men 125 through 134(1), but I can't find ANY copies."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. We just sold out of those yesterday. But if you'd like, I could have them ordered for you." He smiles hopefully at him. "They'd be delivered straight to you."

"That would be nice, but I need them now. Doing a research project." A wry look crossed his face and he shook his head. "Thank you anyway." He smiled sadly and left, leaving Andrew to sigh.

He wasn't really upset about losing a customer, but he knew he should be. He just couldn't keep his mind off Xander when he wasn't kept busy. Mostly, he wondered about last night's visit.

He knew Xander wasn't there for their normal type visits. This wasn't about comforting presence. But he couldn't let his hopes get up. After all, what chance could he have with Xander.

Giving another sigh, he recomposed himself and served the next customer's order, a slightly forced smile on his face.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As the day tore on, Xander became more and more nervous. His decision was made, and nothing would make him change his mind. He caught himself muttering many times under his breath, rehearsing, when he wasn't looking at the clock. In fact, he'd almost gotten clocked, twice, and he'd suspected the second time to have been on purpose.

He knew he'd be getting off a half an hour before Andrew, so he had time to prepare, to ease his nervousness. It didn't help, but he had it. He was almost pacing when Andrew slid his key into the lock.

Snapping his head up, he looked at the door in trepidation. 'Maybe this isn't a good idea. What if he says no? Maybe I'm wrong. About what though? Him liking me? I mean, maybe he does. Do I like him? I'm only asking him to...' "Dinner!"

Andrew, who'd finally managed to get his attention, was confused. "What?"

Clearing his throat, Xander looked at the younger man, trying with only slight success to meet his eyes. "That is, um, you, uh, wanna go out? Tonight, I mean? For dinner..." Nervous laughter left his throat as he resisted the urge to shake or bolt.

Andrew seemed to be appraising him silently for a moment, to see if the offer was real, before grinning widely. "That would be great. I mean, I don't have any plans tonight. Um, where are we going?"

He can't help the big smile on his face and he just wanted to hug Andrew, but instead, he decided to just bounce. "Just wear something... semi formal?" At Andrew's nod, he grins impossibly wider. "Cool... um... 8:00, ok?" Another nod and he OKed again, practically bouncing to his room.

Andrew couldn't help laughing slightly as he trotted excitedly to his own room. It was really his first date. He sighed and slowed then, memories coming back. Warren had never taken him out on a date. Not even when they didn't have to worry about the slayer. He'd said he loved him, but only ever in reply to Andrew's own declarations. The one time he'd brought up going out to dinner, they went to McDonalds. With Jonathan. Who was oblivious to the nature of their relationship.

With another sigh, he slumped over to the bed and let himself drop on it. 'What am I doing? It's not like it's a date. And so what if it is? It could never work. He couldn't love me.' He felt a tear in his eye as he remembered what the First had said, after he'd killed Jonathan, though using Warren's form. And he'd thought it was him. He was so convincing.

~~~~~~~"Of course I didn't love you. You're a whiny, irritating little wimp. But you were loyal. You had that going for you. Misplaced, if you ask me. You see, Jonathan. He loved you. Best friends and all that. To me, you were convenient." He gave a stern look and moved around to look him in the face as he turned. "Are you crying? You lost your right to cry when you killed Jonathan"

"You... I-I-I did it for you..."

"Whine, whine, whine. How could I love you? You're a GEEK." Word emphasized with a motion of his hand, flattened, over his upper chest, a few inches away, and dragged from the far side of his body as he bounced a little. "But you can make things up."

A sniffle was heard as he looked at Warren, tears still in his eyes. "How..."

"First, kill the tears. Then, ma' boy, kill Xander."

"Xander?" He was shocked.

"Yes, Xander."

"Wh-why him?"

Warren rolled his eyes. "Because we already know it'll be too hard to kill the slayer. So we take out her friends, starting with the weakest." It was a line, though. The First knew that Xander would be the one to reach him. Xander, and Anya. But Xander was the biggest threat.

"I... I can't. No. I won't. Yo... you can't make me... no.. No! NO! NOOO!!!" Large tears streamed down his face and he ran through the house, slayer head quarters, holding his hands on his ears, the word "no" trailing as he shot by, upstairs, and locked himself in the bathroom. The potentials just gave him a weird look, but Xander followed, worried, with Anya soon behind him.~~~~~~~

'No... I can't let him get to me.' He shuddered a little sob away and dried his eyes, uncurling from the tight ball he'd managed to get himself into and standing. 'It's just dinner. Me and Xander. He didn't even say it was a date. But, well... oh I love that man. Did I just think that?' He smiled a little shakily and hugged himself, nodding. He did love him and he had to do this.

Stripping, he grabbed his robe. He didn't hear anyone in the bathroom, and, his door being unlocked, of course, he walked in. After locking his and Xander's doors, as well as the main one, he turned on the shower and stepped in, washing thoroughly in preparation for the upcoming event.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Xander paced the room as he tried to decide what to wear. All his light button ups were on the bed, as well as a white undershirt, and some dark jeans. 'Semi formal. Semi formal. What to wear. What to...' Having gotten the clothing out earlier, during the unknown personal battle his 'date' was in, he now had to decide. He was distracted, then, by the shower running, and the soft sound of plastic on metal as the curtain was closed. 'He's in the shower now...' A grin. 'He's in the shower.' He frowned, then, growling, frustrated at the images in his head, and the resulting tightening of his pants. "This is SO not helping."

He gave a small whine as he walked over to the bed, his pants rubbing against his erection, and decided on a suit to wear. Well, not a suit, really. Dark, marginally loose jeans, a casual button up, and some light dress shoes.

Putting the rest of his clothing away, he groaned. He was still hard, and it was irritating. Stripping, he lay on the bed, taking his erection in hand. Closing his eyes, he starts stroking, slowly. He lets out a soft moan and an image forms in his hand. An unknown body is pressing against him. Warm, soft lips are on his neck, a hand on his chest, and the hand on his manhood isn't his own.

The other is definitely male, but it doesn't bother him, and he pulls harder, faster. The other body moves up his, kissing along his jaw, then to his lips. Those luscious lips ghost teasingly against his, then press harder. His lower lip is sucked into the unknown male's mouth, before the other pulls away completely. Leaning down, he whispers in his ear. "I love you, Xan..." As it was said, Xander saw him, finally, grunting in surprise as he cums, Andrew in his vision, and the name coming breathily from his mouth, and more loudly as he'd have liked.

Breathing hard, he opened his eyes. He noticed for the first time that the shower was no longer running. Blushing, he hoped that Andrew hadn't heard him. If he had, he hadn't said anything. Sighing slightly, half in sated pleasure, and half in relief, he knocked on his door to the bathroom. Getting no response, he tried the door knob. It opened and, grabbing his towel, he locked himself in, then set to cleaning himself off.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next few hours were a sordid blur. Neither of them could really think about anything but trying to impress the other, or worrying about making a fool of themselves.

Xander had left after finishing dressing, and Andrew supposed that he was just getting ready to "pick up his date," though he didn't really think it would be that big of a thing.

For Andrew, the last hour was a slow one. He was nervous the whole time. He didn't know what to expect, what was expected of him. Really, it was his first date. Was he supposed to put out? Not that he had a problem with that. But would Xander hate him if he did? Would he hate him if he didn't? He couldn't take it if Xander hated him.

Sighing, he shifted his weight from one side to the other, sitting on the couch and watching an old Star Trek episode, bouncing his knees nervously. He wasn't really paying attention to it, though, so he didn't notice when it turned 8:00.

As the green LED display on the VCR changed to 8:00, there was a loud knock at the door. He nearly jumped out of his skin with shock. Taking a moment to catch his breath, he stands, heart racing, to go answer it. He wondered who it could be as he put the chain in place and opened the door as far as the chain would allow. "Hello?" He knew a vampire couldn't enter without an invitation, but any other demon could, and even another human, if they tried. Still, he felt better this way. Looking out, he suddenly smiled. Removing the chain, he opened the door all the way. "Xander. Did you forget your key?"

Smiling, Xander laughed softly. "No, I just wanted to try to do this right. I mean, it's a date, isn't it?" He smiled brighter at the blush on Andrew's cheeks, and, at his nod, he continued. "Well, I'm here to pick up my date."

Blushing a little more, he couldn't help but grin. "Oh... ok. Well, I'll be right out." Moving back a few feet, he grabbed his keys and a light overcoat. Locking the door, then, he stepped out, his own wallet already in pocket. "So, where we going?"

"It's a surprise." He should have been nervous, but he wasn't. They both reached for each other's hands at the same time, each smiling in turn.

As they left the building, Xander led him to a car, a green Buick Lesabre. "Oh, Xan. When did you buy a car?" He looked perplexed as he looked up at the other man.

"It's just rented. I can't afford a car yet."

"Oh, ok." Smiling more, he squeezed his hand. "You didn't have to do that."

"Like I said, I want to do this right."

As Xander opened the door for him, Andrew gave him a half hug, pressing the side of his head against his shoulder for a second before pulling back, hands still clasped. "You're doing fine." With that, he stepped into the car and put on his seat belt. Reaching over, he quickly unlocked the driver door.

The drive was quiet, but not uncomfortable. Occasionally, they would both steal looks at each other, turning away quickly if the other caught them. Sometime during the ride, around the moment the car was put into drive, their hands found each other's again. Leaning slightly towards Xander, Andrew sighed happily.

As they turned off Le Conte Ave., onto Westwood Blvd., Andrew closed his eyes, thinking happily. Soon, they slowed and turned, raising a little. He opened his eyes. They were in a parking lot, finding a parking space. Looking around, he grinned.

As he pulled into a spot, thankfully near the entrance, he smiled. "You like?"

He gave a firm nod, looking back at Xander. "I LOVE Italian food. How'd you know?"

"I didn't, actually." He gave a bit of a nervous laugh. "I just kinda took a shot in the dark. And the way you like your food, I just thought.." He shrugged, cutting off the rest of the sentence. "I'm glad you like it." Turning off the car, he removes his seat belt and gets out. Closing the door, he moves around behind the car to Andrew's door, getting it for him.

Andrew giggled as the door opened before he could even grab the handle. There was a blush on his face as Xander offered him his hand to help him out. He didn't need the help, but obliged nonetheless. "This is all too much, Xander. You really didn't have to."

A soft smile covered his face as their eyes met, and the hand holding Andrew's moved to cup his cheek a moment. Then, as if broken from a spell, Xander shakes his head, coming back to himself, and pulling his hand away. He didn't notice the soft sigh of disappointment Andrew gave as he spoke. "I want this to be nice. I... I like you." It was his turn to blush as he looked down. Despite how things had gone so far, he didn't want to over step his bounds.

"I like you, too, Xander." There was a smile and blush on Andrew's cheeks as well as Xander looked up. Smiling, he took his hand again, and started guiding him towards the restaurant, using the car remote to lock it and turn on the alarm.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The end of the night found them standing outside Andrew's bedroom door, tightly embracing, mouths pressed together in a slow, gentle kiss. Both sets of eyes were closed, a soft look of bliss blanketing them both. Neither ready or willing to just yet part, they stood there, holding each other.

Andrew, the first to break the silence, spoke softly, as if to talk any louder than a whisper would break the tender spell between them. "I-I had fun, Xander." Resting his head against the other man's shoulder, he smiled, pressing his face into his neck.

"Yeah... I did too." Leaning into him slightly, he closed his eyes, content to just stay there. But it was midnight now, and after dinner and a movie at a diner/theater, and they were both tired.

Andrew's yawn gave evidence to that fact, and they both chuckled weakly. "I guess it's bed time." Finally, he pulls back a little to look at Xander.

Looking back at the other man, Xander nods. "Yeah. I guess." They looked at each other for a long moment, before kissing again. Just as slow and gentle as before, this one held an unspoken need. Unfortunately, Andrew knew it would take time for Xander to face up to that need like he should. He could wait. "Goodnight, Andrew."

Smiling, Andrew replied in kind, then stepped in his room. He closed the door only a crack and watched with a fond smile as Xander went to his room. With a soft sigh, he closed himself in, just as Xander did the same.

End

(1) In New X-Men 125, Hank McCoy, or Beast to some, game out as being gay. Well, due to homophobes and haters, they decided to take it back. So, in response, in issue 134, Scott told Hank he wasn't gay. That he'd known him for so long and that he couldn't be. Hank said that he might as well be. I don't remember the whole line, but basically that because of society, he might as well be gay. That it's just an outcry for attention and that no one's really gay. http://petitionpetition.com/cgi/petition.cgi?id=4520 is a link to the petition my fiance came up with to try to get them to continue with the "Beast as a possible homosexual" story line. Check it out and give me kudos for sending you. *grins*