The Alien vs. Ash
Ripley is once again
fighting a queen alien. Ripley is shooting the alien with a
sub-machine gun. The alien is taking many hits, but isn't going
down.
Ripley: DIE! YOU BITCH!
Suddenly, there is an
explosion and a man falls down and hits the floor of the space ship.
Ripley runs over to check on the man while still shooting the
alien.
Ripley: Are you alright?
The man stands up
and looks at the alien.
Ash: Yeah. I'm alright. What the heck
is that thing?
Ripley pumps two more bullets into the
alien.
Ripley: A queen alien. We can't let her get out of this
ship and onto Earth.
Ash: Groovy.
The alien picks up
Ripley and throws her. Ash looks at the alien and whistles. The alien
turns to Ash.
Ash: LET'S GO!
The alien walks over
to Ash and the chainsaw handed hero shoots the alien in the face with
his shotgun.
Ash: Ohhh! That's gotta hurt!
The
alien's blood flies and hits Ash's chainsaw and makes it start to
melt. Ash quickly takes the chainsaw off his arm before the acid-like
blood reaches his skin. Ash looks up at the alien.
Ash: You're
goin' down!!!
Ash runs at the alien shooting and
screaming.
Ash: TRY THIS!
Ash blasts five shells
into the alien. He tries to shoot the alien one more time, but Ash is
out of ammo.
Ash: Oh. Crap.
The alien is about to
kill Ash, but the alien explodes all over the place. Ash looks around
to see where the blast came from and he sees Ripley standing behind
the carcass of the beast.
Ripley: You did pretty good.
Ash stands up and looks at Ripley.
Ash: Those aliens and
deadites aren't that much different, except when deadites blow up
there is ten times or blood.
Ash grabs Ripley.
Ash:
Now. Give me some sugar, baby.
Ash kisses Ripley, and
after he is done he pulls out and tablet.
Ash: See you
around.
Ash holds the tablet to the sky.
Ash:
Klaatu! Verata! Nicto!
Ash is magically transported into
the cockpit of a space shuttle in the past. The crew looks at Ash in
a strange way.
Ash: What?
Astronaut 1: Uh. Houston, we just
got another passenger.
Ash: Yeah. About that. Would you mined if
you took me to Michigan?
