Pinhead vs. Ash
Ash is sitting in a
room with a cube and his newly equipped diamond cut chainsaw. Ash is
moving the box around to open it.
Ash: What the heck is
this thing? A deadly game of Rubik's Cube? What do I have to do?
Match all the colors?
Just then, Ash solves the puzzle and
Ash is transported into another world. Ash pops up in a room filled
with the remains of people's bodies hanging on chains.
Ash:
Whoa.
Ash sees a four figures standing at a table. Our
chainsaw handed hero walks over to the four to see what they are
doing. Ash sees that they are putting a man's face back
together.
Ash: So... uh... What is this? Arts and
crafts?
The four turn around. Ash looks at all of them in
disgust. One has pins all in his heads, another is a freaky looking
woman, another is a fat fish guy, and the last one keeps chattering
his teeth together.
Ash: Am I in the right
place?
Pinhead: Yes. You are, Ash.
Ash: What the hell
happened to you?
Pinhead: Hell.
Ash: Looks like an old
lady attacked you while she was sewing.
Suddenly, a hook
comes down and picks Ash up by his gun holster. Ash is lifted into
the air.
Ash: Hey! Now! Put me down!
Pinhead: You
have an evil side.
Ash: Sorry, chief. I killed him. Now. PUT
ME DOWN!
Pinhead walks over to Ash with a cutting
knife.
Ash: HEY! What are ya gonna do with that, chief?
As Pinhead walks up to Ash, Ash kicks Pin Head in the head. Pinhead
falls and hits the ground. As Pinhead is on the ground, Ash pulls
himself up and gets the hook out of his back. Ash jumps down and puts
his gun up to Pin Head's head.
Ash: BOOM.
Ash
pulls the trigger and sends a lot of pellets into Pinhead's head. To
make sure he's dead, Ash chops Pinhead into many pieces. After he's
done, Ash stands up and looks at the other three demons.
Ash:
Who wants some? HUH!? Who's next!? Scene 9: Ash turns to the fat fish
guy and points at him.
Ash: Do you want some? HUH!? You want a
little!?
The fish guy shakes his head.
Ash:
Groovy.
Everything is quiet, except for the chattering
demon. Ash looks at him.
Ash: SHUT-
Ash pulls
out his shotgun and blows the chattering demon's head off.
Ash:
-UP!
Ash spins the gun around and puts it back in the
holster.
Ash: Now. How do I get out of here?
Female
Cenobite: You must destroy the box.
Ash: Okay. Where is
it?
Female Cenobite: In there.
The demon points at
a door.
Ash: Thank you.
Ash walks through the
door and finds the box is now a spinning diamond floating in the
air.
Ash: Okay.
Ash shoots the box and the
parts go everywhere and suddenly, Ash is back in the real world. Ash
looks around and takes a deep breath.
Ash: Ew.
Ash walks out of the house in search of his next opponent.
