Pumpkinhead vs. Ash
Ed Harley and two
teenagers are running to a farmhouse to escape the evil Pumpkinhead.
The three reach the barn door to discover that it is locked.
Girl:
Unlock the door! Hurry!
Ed: Calm down! I don't have my key with
me. It's inside.
Boy: Well that was stupid! First you summon this
thing, now you lock your keys inside a locked barn! Smooth move,
Jack!
Ed: Looks like we'll have to fight it.
Boy: Fight it!?
Screw that, man!
Pumpkinhead pops through the trees and
spots the three survivors. The three panic and spread apart away from
the barn door. Pumpkinhead goes after the girl.
Ed: HEY! HEY!
Come after me!
Ed picks up a flaming branch and starts
waving it around to get the demon's attention. Pumpkinhead spots Ed
and starts walking his way. Ed looks around for a weapon, but he
can't find anything to use.
Ed: Now what?
Suddenly,
a chainsaw blade pops through the barn door behind Ed and a brown
haired man with a ripped denim shirt walks through.
Ash: Why
don't you let me take over?
Ash walks up to
Pumpkinhead.
Ash: What the hell are you? Why do they call you
"Pumpkinhead"? Your head doesn't even look like a pumpkin.
Oh well.
Ash pulls out his double barrel and shoots
Pumpkinhead in the chest, but the creature doesn't get hurt.
Pumpkinhead looks down at Ash. Ash looks into Pumpkinhead's
eyes.
Ash: Oh sh-
Pumpkinhead picks up Ash and
throws him into the barn wall. Ash lands on the ground hurt. Ed looks
at Ash and runs at Pumpkinhead with a flaming branch. Pumpkinhead
grabs Ed and throws Ed into the barn. Ed lands on the floor and hits
a pitchfork, making it fall down and stab his arm. Pumpkinhead grabs
its arm in pain and Ash gets an idea.
Ash: Now I see.
Ash walks over to Ed and helps him up. Ed pulls the pitchfork out of
his arm.
Ed: Thanks, stranger.
Ash: No problem.
Ash shoots Ed in the head, killing both Ed and Pumpkinhead at the
same time. Ash turns around and watches as Pumpkinhead bursts into
flames and disappears.
Ash: Groovy.
Ash spins his
gun around like a cowboy and puts it in its holster. The two kids run
up to Ash.
Boy: Why did you kill Mr. Harley?
Ash: I think
that this is the man who summoned that God forsaken demon. They were
joined together at thought, like that kid from E.T.
Girl: Is that
thing gone?
Ash: Yeeeah. For good. Now. If you'll excuse me, I'm
goin' after the people that created all of this.
Ash gets
all of his things and goes on to fight the greatest villains of all
time.
