TITLE: Breathe Again

AUTHOR: RaeAnne

DISCLAIMER: See Chapter One. I Breathe Again by Adam Rickitt

A/N: Hey all. Thank you so much for the feedback on the last chapter, I know progress is slow, and again I am sorry for the insanely short chapter, I've just had a horrid time focusing this week! We are nearing the end, a couple more chapters I think. It is kind of sad… anyway I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Looking forward to responses, I hope I don't disappoint anyone with this

chapter:-)

RaeAnne

Chapter 9:

Breathe Again

"This wasn't supposed to happen! He wasn't supposed to get her!" Elliot yelled angrily.

"There wasn't supposed to be an explosion fifty feet from the van either! Elliot we couldn't have seen this coming even if we tried!" Bailey said on edge as he held a cold compress to an on coming knot at the back of his head. Elliot paced in front of the ambulance anxious.

"Bailey I can't lose her!" he said hoarsely. Bailey nodded knowing that panic all to well; it welled up within his own heart as he looked over to Samantha sitting in the back of another ambulance.

"I know you are terrified now, but trust me, we will get back! We still have something he wants, my wife. Elliot I know the terror you feel I have been living with for more years then I care to count! This man has plagued my wife, he has crushed her, and he has taken nearly everything, including her feeling of safety, her husband, boyfriend, nearly her daughter, and almost her sanity! We will catch Jack, not just because he holds Olivia, or because he is obsessed with Sam, but because he is the closest thing to pure evil I have found!" Bailey said standing tall with angry pride and an ounce of fear. Elliot matched his steady blue eyes with the brown almost black eyes of Bailey and in that instant the world was theirs… now Jack, that was a different story.

"Hey there love, feeling better?" Jack asked as he came dancing in, voice sing song. Olivia sat on the bed eyes cold hands sore and red.

"What do you intend to do with me?" she questioned.

"Do with you? Do with you? What a question! I haven't really thought about it yet, though you have been much you aren't the prize I seek!"

"Fine, I never claimed to be, why don't you just let me go!"

"Aren't you curious about your father?"

Olivia was silent, of course she was but it was that curiosity that he fed off of. She tipped her head up willfully. "I don't think you really know anything about my father! If you did you would have showed it to me by now! It seems you can hardly wait to show your hand!"

This seemed to anger him she noted somewhat happily, anger was an emotion she could deal with, passive indifference and gleeful pride were not.

"But just last night you claimed you knew the plan! Don't tell me you've given up?" he questioned sarcastically.

"What if I have?"

"Then you aren't half the person I thought."

"If you have my father here… bring him to me,"

"Why should I?"

"Well obviously you don't like me giving up, so either you want me to meet him, or you just enjoy toying with me… I am leaning towards the latter. And I do not like to be toyed with."

Again like being controlled like a puppet on a sting Jack's face contorted into a snarl and eyes darkened with rage. A man quick to wrath, Olivia shrank back slightly.

"Don't touch her," a shadowy figure entered through the creaking door.

Olivia held her breath as the man stepped towards the light, towards her. Shivers of fear and anticipation creamed up her spine and goose bumps rose on her arms. Jack spun towards the man and hissed something Olivia couldn't make out.

"I'll take it from here Jack," the man answered. Jacked glared into the dark but left the room slamming the door.

"Olivia… Olivia how I am dreamed of this moment!" the voice said as she watched the darkened form sit the abandoned chair hovering the dark.

"Who are you? Are you the man who wrote me the letters?" she questioned not brave enough to approach. A dark laughter filled the room leaving Olivia queasy.

"So the questions begin. I knew you were a good detective, but this the first time I have experienced it myself! Bravo, you don't waste any time!"

"Please….are you my father…?" The question was more of a breath as Olivia exhaled sharply. Silence fell about with every pacing moment her heart beat harder, her pulse ringing in her ears.

"Do you really want to answer?"

"Yes…"

"Are you sure? You have pursued the man all your life, looking in every man's eyes hoping to find your own. In every face on the street you wondered if it was he… do you really want me to possibly end your search? I think that it has been the search that has spurred you on all these years, not the man. If I were to be the ends result would it disappoint… or perhaps confirm the fear that the darkness in me is at the center of you," the quiet but deep hard voice filled the room making tears spring to Olivia's eyes.

"If I were to be the man it would give you reason for that darkness you fear in is your own soul. It would confirm that fear you have that by genetics you are violent, controlling, power hungry, that there is a demon inside of that you can not deny for it is in your blood! I could answer the question you asked simply but you all ready know the answer… you are just afraid to answer it, to answer the riddle that is your life," the voice stood without letting Olivia get a glimpse at the man and exited.

The words shuttered through like a treacherous river, leaving her fallen on her knees caught in the rapids that is her own tortured soul.

"When will we tell her the truth?"

"Soon, she has to come to first our the fight was in vain,"

"The riddles, please can we do without them, it makes my head hurt!"

"And you call me the simple one!"

"I know the mistake we made," Sam stated as the slightly injured down trodden SVU/VCTF team sat in the ER of a local hospital.

"What?" Cragen was the first to respond.

"I don't know why I didn't see it before… We took the love expressed by Dawson as sexual. There was no reason for us to think other wise but now I am almost sure that was our pivotal mistake," she said seemingly far off.

"But how does that help us?" Munch asked dryly.

"I don't think that it someone from her school, I doubt he really has been where he would have been seen by her, he has watched her… since who knows when but he hasn't been obvious," Sam's eyes wondered as her mind conceived a picture of a dark room, one light, no windows… a metal door… tears… The picture was gone.

"She is somewhere in a basement… "she started but was interrupted by another flash. A bold, ornate building… flashing lights, a sign… she could almost read it but the picture went black.

"It's building with lights, lots of color, there was a sign… it said something like castle… or…" she put in. Elliot went ashen.

"Castle Paris… it's a sleazy night club a few miles from the parking lot…" he said softly hope starting to find him.

"Let's head out there!" Bailey exclaimed standing.

She knew the answer, oh she knew, it ripped her breath out of her, it tore her apart, but in the depths of her she knew.

She starred at the cold room eyes dry, all her tears cried all the fight drained, she was weary, she was tired and there was nothing for her to fight for any longer. Life was useless without a purpose, hers taken she succumb to defeat.

"It's time, look at her, she is done, let's reveal the truth,"

They stood at the black and white monitor watching the cool empty eyes staring back.

"Ready for the grand finale?" Jack burst into the room door thrown open. Olivia lifted her head wordlessly.

"Olivia Benson…my brother Jeremy Dawson…. Your father!"

A tall man stepped into the light and Olivia gasped and felt dizzy. The search, the answer it had been found. She felt the last strength start to drain. Elliot was gone, her mother gone… her father found… what was left to strive for?

Police cars surrounded the building. Elliot sprang from the car gun drawn. A new fear was taking place of the newly found hope as the connection between himself and Olivia, the mental, emotional, beyond physical connection, started to fade. "Please Olivia… hold on… please angel… breathe again… just one breath at a time! I'm coming!" he whispered to the wind.

"The building is a go!" a FBI agent declared as Elliot, Cragen, John and Bailey prepared to enter a massive team behind them.

Dizzy and heart thudding she fell against the mattress trying to dampen paper dry lips. "Please Elliot… hurry…" she murmured deliriously eyes fluttering, mind fading in and out of awareness. Elliot couldn't rescue her… no one could.

"Why did we have to put that drug in the food? Was it really necessary?"

"You were never one to have fun! Loosen up brother…"

The voices faded as Olivia turned over wet salty tears sliding from her squeezed shut eyes.