"Severus, I already said that I'm sorry. Why the bloody hell won't you accept that?"
"You slept with him Sheyliegh. I know that the kiss was all because of him. But to sleep
with him, you had to give in. Why, Sheyliegh? I just want to know why."
"You've been unable to keep me happy, alright? Do you know how long it's been since we've
done anything?"
"Since our honey moon. I know Sheyliegh. But with everything going on..."
"I know. I'm sorry." Sheyliegh looked down at her hands as she sat across from Severus
at their kitchen table. She had just told Severus about the events from the night before. "Sev,
what did you need to talk to Albus about in his office?"
"Oh, just something to do with the charm that Voldemort had casted on me." Sheyliegh
shivered at his name as always. But Severus had gotten used to getting this reaction from every
one that he mentioned his name around. "I've been having some wild dreams about him. And since
you've been honest with me, then I guess you want me to explain, right?"
"Well, yes."
"I'm ashamed to admit it, but when I was with Voldemort, he was more to me then a leader
or a mentor. Him and I were lovers. All though I did have Sara, she didn't keep me pleased. I've
been having dreams of him and I back together. But I will reasure you that that wouldn't happen
again in a million years. For one I have you and I've changed my ways. And for two, the bastard
flat out hates me."
"Sev?"
"Hm?" he asked looking up from the table.
"Are you having those dreams because of that charm or erm- because... you and I havn't.."
"Sheyliegh I don't know. Right now I don't know anything. I don't know who you are
anymore. I don't know who I am anymore. I just... I don't know." He leaned forward and put his
face in his hands. His forearm throbbed along with his head. The temptation of standing up and
hitting Sheyliegh took all of his control to stop from doing it. He knew that he was starting up
again due to all of the emotion and anger that was going through him. His hands shook with him
holding back from breaking out and hitting her.
"Severus." Sheyliegh knew what was happening. And she was suddenly frightened. She ran to
the fireplace throwing in a pinch of floo powder, and yelling her uncles name. When she saw his
face appear she screamed "Albus, I need you here now!" As quickly as it had appeared, his face
was suddenly gone.
Severus couldn't hold it back any longer. He stood up quickly knocking his chair onto the
floor. His hands shook, and there was a wild look about him. Sheyliegh just stood there, too
afraid to do anything. He got closer to her, struggling with each step he took. His body kept
going for her. But his mind was telling him to stop. Telling him not to do what he was doing.
'No! I will not fall for Voldemort's intentions. I am stronger than this!'
But still he got closer and closer. He suddenly wanted to kill the mudblood that stood
before him. Without thinking Sheyliegh reached out her hand and stroked his cheek. The look that
was present on his face, showed pure hate. But when she looked into his eyes she saw the little
boy he had once been. She saw him inside trying to fight it off. His body shook.
"Severus, you can do it. I know you can," she whispered. "Don't listen to V-V-Voldemort,"
she managed to get out. "Please Sev. I love you." She stared back into those stone-cold black
eyes.
Suddenly his knees gave away and he fell to the floor. Sheyliegh grabbed ahold of him and
fell with him. The two of them sat there in each other's arms with Severus sobbing uncontrolably.
"I'm so sorry, honny. I-I-I didn't mean to, honestly. It's just that...."
"Shhh." She held him close to her chest and let him cry. The door behind them swung open
on it's hinges and in rushed Albus with Remus right on his tail. Sheyliegh looked up to them to
see their surprised faces. "It's alright. Everything's fine."
***
The breakout that night had been broken by Severus' love for Sheyliegh. That was the only
explanation that they could come up with. So Sheyliegh was to come back to the castle so that he
would be around her. This seemed to be helping his breakouts. Whenever he felt as if he was going
to lose control, he would tell her and then they would spend time together. They spent many
nights just laying on the couch, snuggled together. Neither of them were teaching yet.
Finally after about a week or two Albus decided that it would be okay for them to start
teaching again, as long as they were not seperated. They had to be with each other constantly.
The first day back to teaching, Severus walked in so that he could tell the substitute that he
would be retaking his position. Albus had been away on business with Cornelius Fudge and had
forgot to the tell the substitute.
With his robes billowing behind him, and the sun coming from the windows in the halls, he
made his way to his class room. Sheyliegh would be along right after him. He opened his door in
his usual slam. There was no one in the class room yet, including no sight of a teacher. But the
pink quill he saw sitting upon the desk and the lacy things which he spied only proved that it
was a female teacher. He didn't know of any female teacher that subbed from around this area.
He sat back in his chair behind his desk and leaned back, putting his feet up on the
desk and knocking the quill onto the floor along with a stack of pink papers. He bent over to
pick them up. While he was bent over picking the things up, he heard the door come open. "Come
on in. I'm just picking these up for... you?!"
Standing in front of him was a six foot pansy boy by the name of Lockhart. "Severus! I'm
so glad to see that you're doing better! Please tell me, how is your lovely wife doing?"
"She's doing just fine. I had no idea that you were teaching in my place."
"Oh, Albus didn't tell you? I've been here the entire time."
Severus thoroughly hated this idiot. He was a walking version of the popular muggle toy
Ken doll. "It looks as though some of the students have played quite a prank on you. I mean,
replacing your papers and quill with these pink ones."
"Oh. Those are mine. Between me and you," he suddenly dropped his voice as though someone
was around that might hear him. "pink is my favorite color." Severus could only nodd, as he
thought to himself, 'Can you say, faget?'
"Right well, my wife and I will be taking up our classes again, so your service is no
longer needed Gilderoy. Thank you for taking over during my time of absence. You were able to
follow the lesson plans that I sent all right, weren't you?"
"Oh Severus. Those lessons were so boring that I decided to spice things up a bit. I hope
you don't mind."
"You what?"
"Just look here! Yesterday we made these cauldrons of fruit punch! The best there is! And
we even jinxed them so that they constantly change colors! It's something that I read in the
Quibbler last week." A bright smile spread across his face, looking so proud, as if he had just
saved the world or cured AIDS. "The children I think really enjoyed it."
Severus looked into the cauldron which Gilderoy had pointed out to him. It indeed did
change colors. He could almost feel his blood pressure rising though, as he looked into the trash
can to see his lesson plans tossed in there. "Well, I'm sure they did." He tried his best to make
a smile appear on his face. "Thank you once again." He outstretched his arm to shake his hands.
But instead of grabbing his hand, Gilderoy flung himself onto him and embraced him in a hug.
"See you later! Keep in touch!" And with that he headed torward the door. Right then
Sheyliegh came in.
"Gilderoy, what are you doing here?"
"Oh, I was subbing for you and Severus. Have a good day." As he touched the door handle
he turned to look at the two of them again. "Severus, keep the paper, quill, and other things as
a present from me, will you?" And with another quick flash of a smile, he was gone.
"Oh man..." Sheyliegh tried her best to stiffle her giggles as she surveyed the room.
"He's... different isn't he?"
"Stupid mother fucking...." Severus mumbled as he looked over the new decorations that
now took over his class room. "Damn pansy." He took his wand and disposed of it all. "That's
much better. Now, how about breakfast? I've been craving a good wholesome meal."
***
The noise and bustle in the great hall was something that seemed so wonderful though it
was something that was an everyday thing to the rest. To Severus it was like a welcome home
present. Sitting at the staff table he surveyed the Slytherin table. He tried his best not to
look down the staff table at the others. He knew that Sirius was down there somewhere, probably
talking with Remus.
"Severus, are you feeling alright?"
"Yes. What would make you think other wise?"
"Oh, I don't know. You just seem more like yourself today. Much different than what you
have been acting. It's actually great." Then she smiled. It had been so long since Severus had
seen her smile. It was alomst like everything was finally getting back to normal. It was great.
"Severus! So good to have you back ole' chap!" Without turning his head, he knew which
one of the professors was speaking. Sirius Black. He didn't respond but became suddenly
interested in his eggs. But within a seconds time, a hand was placed on his shoulder. He looked
up to see Sirius standing over him.
"Glad to have you back buddy."
"Since when are you and I buddies?"
"Oh, come on. We've always been. I mean, we might have fought every once in a while. But
I mean what friends don't?"
Severus stood up his eyes level with Sirius. "Let me set soemthing straight. You and I
have never and never will be friends. Do you got that?" He whispered it but felt as if the
entire hall could hear him.
"Sev, calm down. Just chill out." Sirius said putting a hand up.
Severus grabbed him by the collar and shoved him up against the wall. "You dirty little
son of a bitch. You fucking sleep with my wife, and all of a sudden you want to be my friend. You
are full of shit Sirius Black. His voice was still as vevety, but it was in a hoarse whisper.
Sheyliegh stood up and stood beside him. "Severus, please."
Severus let go of his collar, but pushed him against the wall one last time. "Go to
hell." He started heading down from the staff table, led by Sheyliegh but was stopped shortly by
hearing Sirius' voice again.
"Don't take it out on me, just because your wife can't be please by you. Too bad you
havn't found out how great she is in bed."
Sheyliegh tried to stop him but couldn't. He walked right up to Sirius, pointing his
finger right into his face. "You say one more goddamn word, and I will concoct a potion and slip
it into your drink. You won't know what hit you. You'll fall dead on the floor faster than you
can say Pad Foot. You hear me?"
With that, he walked away to go to his class before he lost his temper and ended up
getting out of control again. The class room was such a relief to him. It was like the whole
world was left behind him when he entered it. He immediately started setting up for the days
work, keeping his eyes low, not looking at Sheyliegh.
Because of the lack of teaching that Gilderoy had done, they had a lot to do within the
next few weeks. Sheyliegh worked quietly and quickly as well. Students started filing in about
ten minutes later. Some seemed to be relieved that Severus and Sheyliegh were back.
"You slept with him Sheyliegh. I know that the kiss was all because of him. But to sleep
with him, you had to give in. Why, Sheyliegh? I just want to know why."
"You've been unable to keep me happy, alright? Do you know how long it's been since we've
done anything?"
"Since our honey moon. I know Sheyliegh. But with everything going on..."
"I know. I'm sorry." Sheyliegh looked down at her hands as she sat across from Severus
at their kitchen table. She had just told Severus about the events from the night before. "Sev,
what did you need to talk to Albus about in his office?"
"Oh, just something to do with the charm that Voldemort had casted on me." Sheyliegh
shivered at his name as always. But Severus had gotten used to getting this reaction from every
one that he mentioned his name around. "I've been having some wild dreams about him. And since
you've been honest with me, then I guess you want me to explain, right?"
"Well, yes."
"I'm ashamed to admit it, but when I was with Voldemort, he was more to me then a leader
or a mentor. Him and I were lovers. All though I did have Sara, she didn't keep me pleased. I've
been having dreams of him and I back together. But I will reasure you that that wouldn't happen
again in a million years. For one I have you and I've changed my ways. And for two, the bastard
flat out hates me."
"Sev?"
"Hm?" he asked looking up from the table.
"Are you having those dreams because of that charm or erm- because... you and I havn't.."
"Sheyliegh I don't know. Right now I don't know anything. I don't know who you are
anymore. I don't know who I am anymore. I just... I don't know." He leaned forward and put his
face in his hands. His forearm throbbed along with his head. The temptation of standing up and
hitting Sheyliegh took all of his control to stop from doing it. He knew that he was starting up
again due to all of the emotion and anger that was going through him. His hands shook with him
holding back from breaking out and hitting her.
"Severus." Sheyliegh knew what was happening. And she was suddenly frightened. She ran to
the fireplace throwing in a pinch of floo powder, and yelling her uncles name. When she saw his
face appear she screamed "Albus, I need you here now!" As quickly as it had appeared, his face
was suddenly gone.
Severus couldn't hold it back any longer. He stood up quickly knocking his chair onto the
floor. His hands shook, and there was a wild look about him. Sheyliegh just stood there, too
afraid to do anything. He got closer to her, struggling with each step he took. His body kept
going for her. But his mind was telling him to stop. Telling him not to do what he was doing.
'No! I will not fall for Voldemort's intentions. I am stronger than this!'
But still he got closer and closer. He suddenly wanted to kill the mudblood that stood
before him. Without thinking Sheyliegh reached out her hand and stroked his cheek. The look that
was present on his face, showed pure hate. But when she looked into his eyes she saw the little
boy he had once been. She saw him inside trying to fight it off. His body shook.
"Severus, you can do it. I know you can," she whispered. "Don't listen to V-V-Voldemort,"
she managed to get out. "Please Sev. I love you." She stared back into those stone-cold black
eyes.
Suddenly his knees gave away and he fell to the floor. Sheyliegh grabbed ahold of him and
fell with him. The two of them sat there in each other's arms with Severus sobbing uncontrolably.
"I'm so sorry, honny. I-I-I didn't mean to, honestly. It's just that...."
"Shhh." She held him close to her chest and let him cry. The door behind them swung open
on it's hinges and in rushed Albus with Remus right on his tail. Sheyliegh looked up to them to
see their surprised faces. "It's alright. Everything's fine."
***
The breakout that night had been broken by Severus' love for Sheyliegh. That was the only
explanation that they could come up with. So Sheyliegh was to come back to the castle so that he
would be around her. This seemed to be helping his breakouts. Whenever he felt as if he was going
to lose control, he would tell her and then they would spend time together. They spent many
nights just laying on the couch, snuggled together. Neither of them were teaching yet.
Finally after about a week or two Albus decided that it would be okay for them to start
teaching again, as long as they were not seperated. They had to be with each other constantly.
The first day back to teaching, Severus walked in so that he could tell the substitute that he
would be retaking his position. Albus had been away on business with Cornelius Fudge and had
forgot to the tell the substitute.
With his robes billowing behind him, and the sun coming from the windows in the halls, he
made his way to his class room. Sheyliegh would be along right after him. He opened his door in
his usual slam. There was no one in the class room yet, including no sight of a teacher. But the
pink quill he saw sitting upon the desk and the lacy things which he spied only proved that it
was a female teacher. He didn't know of any female teacher that subbed from around this area.
He sat back in his chair behind his desk and leaned back, putting his feet up on the
desk and knocking the quill onto the floor along with a stack of pink papers. He bent over to
pick them up. While he was bent over picking the things up, he heard the door come open. "Come
on in. I'm just picking these up for... you?!"
Standing in front of him was a six foot pansy boy by the name of Lockhart. "Severus! I'm
so glad to see that you're doing better! Please tell me, how is your lovely wife doing?"
"She's doing just fine. I had no idea that you were teaching in my place."
"Oh, Albus didn't tell you? I've been here the entire time."
Severus thoroughly hated this idiot. He was a walking version of the popular muggle toy
Ken doll. "It looks as though some of the students have played quite a prank on you. I mean,
replacing your papers and quill with these pink ones."
"Oh. Those are mine. Between me and you," he suddenly dropped his voice as though someone
was around that might hear him. "pink is my favorite color." Severus could only nodd, as he
thought to himself, 'Can you say, faget?'
"Right well, my wife and I will be taking up our classes again, so your service is no
longer needed Gilderoy. Thank you for taking over during my time of absence. You were able to
follow the lesson plans that I sent all right, weren't you?"
"Oh Severus. Those lessons were so boring that I decided to spice things up a bit. I hope
you don't mind."
"You what?"
"Just look here! Yesterday we made these cauldrons of fruit punch! The best there is! And
we even jinxed them so that they constantly change colors! It's something that I read in the
Quibbler last week." A bright smile spread across his face, looking so proud, as if he had just
saved the world or cured AIDS. "The children I think really enjoyed it."
Severus looked into the cauldron which Gilderoy had pointed out to him. It indeed did
change colors. He could almost feel his blood pressure rising though, as he looked into the trash
can to see his lesson plans tossed in there. "Well, I'm sure they did." He tried his best to make
a smile appear on his face. "Thank you once again." He outstretched his arm to shake his hands.
But instead of grabbing his hand, Gilderoy flung himself onto him and embraced him in a hug.
"See you later! Keep in touch!" And with that he headed torward the door. Right then
Sheyliegh came in.
"Gilderoy, what are you doing here?"
"Oh, I was subbing for you and Severus. Have a good day." As he touched the door handle
he turned to look at the two of them again. "Severus, keep the paper, quill, and other things as
a present from me, will you?" And with another quick flash of a smile, he was gone.
"Oh man..." Sheyliegh tried her best to stiffle her giggles as she surveyed the room.
"He's... different isn't he?"
"Stupid mother fucking...." Severus mumbled as he looked over the new decorations that
now took over his class room. "Damn pansy." He took his wand and disposed of it all. "That's
much better. Now, how about breakfast? I've been craving a good wholesome meal."
***
The noise and bustle in the great hall was something that seemed so wonderful though it
was something that was an everyday thing to the rest. To Severus it was like a welcome home
present. Sitting at the staff table he surveyed the Slytherin table. He tried his best not to
look down the staff table at the others. He knew that Sirius was down there somewhere, probably
talking with Remus.
"Severus, are you feeling alright?"
"Yes. What would make you think other wise?"
"Oh, I don't know. You just seem more like yourself today. Much different than what you
have been acting. It's actually great." Then she smiled. It had been so long since Severus had
seen her smile. It was alomst like everything was finally getting back to normal. It was great.
"Severus! So good to have you back ole' chap!" Without turning his head, he knew which
one of the professors was speaking. Sirius Black. He didn't respond but became suddenly
interested in his eggs. But within a seconds time, a hand was placed on his shoulder. He looked
up to see Sirius standing over him.
"Glad to have you back buddy."
"Since when are you and I buddies?"
"Oh, come on. We've always been. I mean, we might have fought every once in a while. But
I mean what friends don't?"
Severus stood up his eyes level with Sirius. "Let me set soemthing straight. You and I
have never and never will be friends. Do you got that?" He whispered it but felt as if the
entire hall could hear him.
"Sev, calm down. Just chill out." Sirius said putting a hand up.
Severus grabbed him by the collar and shoved him up against the wall. "You dirty little
son of a bitch. You fucking sleep with my wife, and all of a sudden you want to be my friend. You
are full of shit Sirius Black. His voice was still as vevety, but it was in a hoarse whisper.
Sheyliegh stood up and stood beside him. "Severus, please."
Severus let go of his collar, but pushed him against the wall one last time. "Go to
hell." He started heading down from the staff table, led by Sheyliegh but was stopped shortly by
hearing Sirius' voice again.
"Don't take it out on me, just because your wife can't be please by you. Too bad you
havn't found out how great she is in bed."
Sheyliegh tried to stop him but couldn't. He walked right up to Sirius, pointing his
finger right into his face. "You say one more goddamn word, and I will concoct a potion and slip
it into your drink. You won't know what hit you. You'll fall dead on the floor faster than you
can say Pad Foot. You hear me?"
With that, he walked away to go to his class before he lost his temper and ended up
getting out of control again. The class room was such a relief to him. It was like the whole
world was left behind him when he entered it. He immediately started setting up for the days
work, keeping his eyes low, not looking at Sheyliegh.
Because of the lack of teaching that Gilderoy had done, they had a lot to do within the
next few weeks. Sheyliegh worked quietly and quickly as well. Students started filing in about
ten minutes later. Some seemed to be relieved that Severus and Sheyliegh were back.
