Treize had finally begun to relax.  The base had returned to some semblance of order and there were repairmen working on his private mountain cabin.  After three days of desperate work, almost everything was repaired from the one night of damage the Maxwells had inflicted.  He pushed a pile of paperwork aside and was preparing to return to his quarters for some much deserved rest when Zechs walked unannounced into his office, as was the man's style.

He glanced up at his friend and tried to bite back a snicker.  After bleaching his hair over a dozen times, there were still hints of blue in the platinum strands.  The expression on Zechs' face, however, pulled his amusement up short.  He looked decidedly green.

"What is it, Zechs?" he asked, beginning to worry.  The last time he had seen that look on the man's face was a month ago when one of the Maxwells had apparently spiked the base's water supply with a very powerful laxative and then sealed all of the toilet seats on base shut with massive amounts of epoxy.

"We… have reports from the data files from L2," he said slowly, looking sicker by the moment.  Treize was beginning to wonder if the food had been poisoned again.  Not two weeks ago, everyone on base had been urinating blue.

"And?" Treize pressed, though he wasn't certain he wanted to know.

"The pilots from L2 were part of a cloning experiment," he said stiffly.

Treize sighed.  He had already known that.  "Anything else?"

"They were created at one of the largest labs on L2."

"And?" Treize grated.  He just knew that there was something that Zechs was neglecting to tell him.  It almost looked like he was afraid to say it aloud for fear of bringing down the wrath of the gods.  Zechs opened his mouth, closed it, swallowed and tried again.  This time he managed to spit it out.

"There are at least twelve hundred of him."

Treize blinked and stared into space for a moment.  Surely it was impossible.  There was no way in heaven or hell that there could be that many of the little terrors running loose.  For a moment, his mind ran in circles, refusing to accept what he had heard, thinking of any possible way that he could have heard wrong.  Eventually, the message took hold in his mind.  As the words slowly but surely began to sink in, he did the only thing a sane man in his position could do.

He fainted.

*     *     *

Dustin peered over Dante's shoulder as the latter typed frantically, a slightly maniacal grin on his face.  He watched as the best hacker in the group altered the links the Oz base had established with L2 to their own personal databanks they had created for this express purpose.  Dante paused in his typing, the smirk on his face shifting to an all out grin.  Dustin moved back a few paces.  The last time he had seen that look, three of them had ended up on reconnaissance missions watching each other's movements in the middle of boiling temperatures in the Amazon and not realizing who they were chasing for six days.

Curiosity finally got the better of him and Dustin peeked over Dante's shoulder again and choked on his tongue.

"Now that was just mean!" he hooted.  "Even for you, man, that was mean!"

"Hn.  If they're dumb enough to believe it, they deserve the heart attacks," Dante smirked.  "Serves them right for trying to hack into our personal lives."

"They'll be in chaos for days over this," Dustin snickered.

"Our mission was only to distract them," came the once again solemn reply.

"Then mission accomplished, I'd say."

"Hn," Dante replied with a faintly amused edge to his grunt.  He almost wished he could see Treize's face over this.  A smirk embedded firmly on his features, he continued in his task of making life at Oz utterly miserable.

A few minutes later, he tapped into Oz's databanks, a grin coming to his face.  Dustin looked over and arched one eyebrow in question, receiving a wider grin in response.

"Oz has found the little addition to our family."

Little addition, my ass, Dustin thought.  He grinned nonetheless.  "And?"

"Treize has just been checked into the infirmary."

Dustin burst out laughing, a few tears seeping from his eyes.  After a few moments, he decided to add to the chaos and whipped out his cell phone.  His fingers flew over the numbers, tapping into a secure line that they shared.  He immediately received five responses.

"This is Demitri.  Do you need something?"

"Deut.  What can I do ya for?"

"David here.  This better be good."

"Donovan reporting in.  What's up?"

"This is Duo's stomach, as his brain is on vacation.  Please leave a message after the growl."

Dustin grinned.  His target hadn't left yet.  "Just need Don-baby!  You four can go back to what you were doing."

"Don't bother me again unless you need something.  David out."

"Well, back to redirecting the plumbing at Oz then," Deut smirked.  "Later."

"I almost fear what you're up to.  I want details later, man.  Duo out."

"I'm not leaving for another hour, so just call if you need anything," Demitri offered, closing the connection.

"So what do you want me to do?" Donovan asked as soon as they were off the line.  Knowing Dustin, it was going to be good.  He was easily as insane as Duo.

"How much do you know about genetics?" Dustin asked.

At this, both Donovan and Dante paused in what they were doing and openly wondered about his sanity.  Dustin could almost feel Dante's eyes glued to his back in question.  For an answer, he just grinned.

"A bit… Why?" Donovan answered hesitantly.

"Well, we're tinkering with the information Oz has access to about our personal backgrounds.  They know that we're from the one experimental colony, so we've just been padding that a bit.  Right now they think that there are twelve hundred of us."

Choking laughter met this announcement.

"And?"

"Treize fainted."

More laughter.

"What do you want to know then?  I think I know where you're going with this and that could be a lot of fun."

Dustin grinned.  "I'm thinking something about genetic tampering, but I don't know how to enter the information and have it sound real."

"DNA integration in a multicellular eukaryotic system," Donovan smirked.  "There's no such thing, at least not on the levels you're talking about, but I can fake it."

"Sounds good," Dustin said, pushing Dante out of the chair and typing madly while the other boy just peered over his shoulder with an ever-widening grin.  "Keep going, man."

"All right.  Now here's what you'd theoretically do.  Introduce a plasmid through electroporation to an egg cell.  No, scratch that.  To the germ cells of both parental lines so that all of the eggs and sperm produced will carry the genes of interest.  Homologous recombination with a double crossover in the DNA would integrate the sequence into the genome permanently.  And then…"

*     *     *

Hours later, Zechs went limp in his seat, his eyes wide and jaw twitching as he stared unseeing at the information on his computer.  The boys had been created off of a series of eggs derived from the same woman, whose germ cells had undergone a great deal of tampering.  Same tampering with the father.  They were brothers, not clones.  His eyes grew wider with every line he read of the outline of what had been done to create them.  Crosses with animal lines, mostly feline and canine?  Wolf, cougar, panther, bear, jackal, cheetah, lion…  The list of predators that supplied the target genetics continued for several pages, small descriptions of what was taken from each supplied.

Lips moving silently, he began scanning down through the lists of their capabilities and descriptions in general.  Running speed average of fifty-five miles an hour.  Able to jump over obstacles forty feet in height.  Able to lift up to ten times their body weight and bend steel with their bare hands.  Many lacking an entirely human appearance.  Extreme tendency towards bloodlust.  His breathing grew ragged and his face pale.  He could feel his heart rate becoming erratic.

Knowing he would be unable to say any of this aloud without passing out, the blond quickly printed the more important information and sprinted to the infirmary where Treize was still resting.  The general needed to know what they were up against.

He was only dimly aware of Noin asking him if he was alright as he staggered past her down the hall.  Waving one hand in her direction to dismiss her, he lurched into the infirmary and nearly collapsed near where Treize was lying.  The general took the papers from the blonde's shaking hands and froze.  The blood drained from his face and he could feel his chest constricting.  At the final line at the last page, he convulsed, collapsing once again on the infirmary bed.  Zechs scanned his eyes down the final page he had printed, his eyes going wide as he realized he had printed out part of their mission information.  His eyes rolled back in his head and he joined the general in la-la land.

Staring back innocently was a piece of paper listing various physical statistics and a single phrase at the bottom from their superior.

All units scheduled for immediate deployment.

*     *     *

"And… we got him!" Dustin crowed, pumping one fist into the air.  "Zechs is unconscious and Treize is in a coma!"

Dante guffawed, pausing in uploading the viruses into Oz's security system to allow for David and Daniel to enter unopposed.  They needed information from Oz's main databank and had to get it manually.  Unfortunately for them, Oz finally became irritated with their systems being perpetually hacked and now kept important information on computers that specifically did not have outside links.

"Lemme see," Dustin drawled.  "Duo is busy driving Heero nuts, so he's out.  Demitri and Donovan are changing all of the access codes at the base, so they're busy.  Deut is setting off various alarms to keep security confused.  David and Daniel are making their way towards the main computer terminal.  I still can't believe that G paired them up.  Blood will be flowing before the night's over.  We're here, so that just leaves Darren and Derrick.  Hmm… I wonder if they'll do it.  Well… of course they'll do IT, but will they do what I want?"

"Do what?" Dante snapped.  "They're busy keeping the base occupied so that David and Daniel can get through, in case you've forgotten."

Dustin waved his hand in a pacifying gesture.  "Okay, okay.  I'll do it."  At the glare he received he continued hurriedly.  "Do you seriously need my help hacking into the Oz security system?"

Dante paused, turning back to his computer in consideration.  "No, I don't," he admitted stiffly.  "What are you planning?"  When he received no response, he glanced around the room to see Dustin rifling through a box he had pulled out of the closet.  "What are you looking for?"

A grin appeared across his face as he turned to face Dante, his prize held up in triumph in his hands.  Despite himself, Dante grinned back, snickering quietly at the Halloween paints and various costume pieces in Dustin's hands.  Last year, Daniel had been badgered into dressing like a werewolf from some twentieth century movie for no better reason that to torment him.  At the same time, they had managed to force David into a kitten costume.  The language they had used that day should have made the paint peel from the walls.  The seething pair had nearly killed each other and everyone else involved before the night was over.  Now, Dustin was brandishing Daniel's costume with malicious glee.

"Forget the officers being unconscious," Dustin smirked, pulling on seemingly random pieces of fabric and artificial fur.  He spent a great deal of effort tinkering with the make-up, fake claws and fangs, all the while grinning just a little too widely.  "I'm going to go for a seizure."

"And I'm going to tap into Oz's security cameras," Dante chuckled.  "Duo will kill us if we don't get him some pictures."

*     *     *

Dustin took a deep breath and hunkered down further into the shadows.  As much as he was looking forward to terrorizing the base, he was going to wait until the armed guards passed by him before continuing.  He watched them walking calmly by, chatting carelessly.  A water pipe broke above them, showering them with scalding water.  Deut's work, no doubt about that.  Dustin blinked and grinned wider, feeling the false muzzle strapped to his face shift as well.  The three men scattered, swearing loudly.

An instant later, an explosion sounded a ways down the hall and Dustin had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing.  That would be Derrick and Darren.  Still cursing, the soldiers glared once last time at the broken pipe and ran towards the sound of the blast.  Naturally, the other two would be long gone.  He was about to break for cover when two figures sprinted past him from the direction the soldiers had gone, hooting merrily.  Dustin hopped out behind them and easily caught up.  Derrick caught sight of him first and jumped at least three feet in the air, cursing rabidly and scrabbling for his gun.  Darren stared at him in shock before recognizing the braid that Dustin had purposefully left visible and cracked up laughing.

"What do you think you're doing?" Darren wheezed, wiping the tears from his eyes.  Derrick just glared sullenly at him, embarrassed at having been scared.

"Well," Dustin drawled.  "Due to our tampering, Oz thinks that there are twelve hundred Maxwells running loose that have been crossbred with various predators.  So I'm just out to have a little fun with the idiots on base that know about it."

"You mean you're out to have fun with Treize and Zechs," Derrick corrected.

"Either way."

"I'll never understand your fascination with torturing those two."

"Well, it is amusing," Dustin supplied.

"Very," Darren agreed.

"Now, if you'll be so kind as to excuse me, I have an infirmary to raid."

"Sure thing," Darren smirked.  "We'll clear the way."

Still smirking, the three split ways, Dustin taking a roundabout route towards the infirmary.  Sure enough, the way was already cleared.  Scorch marks marred the walls and the floor was flooded, speaking of Derrick's pyromaniac tendencies and possibly Deut's tampering with the water lines.  Just before reaching his destination, he dropped to all fours and loped a little clumsily towards his goal.  Skidding through the door of the infirmary, he made a snapping motion at the first set of ankles he saw.  A nurse shrieked and leapt back, clutching at her heart.

The shriek managed to rouse Zechs from his unconscious state.  He glanced around the room groggily, his pale blue eyes bulging when he saw Dustin.  Yelping, he scrambled across the bed when Dustin lunged for it.  The two barely managed to keep from crashing into each other.

Grinning under his make-up and facemask, he began carefully working the mask with the muscles of his face and the controls in his mouth.  The muzzle twisted into a snarl, which he supported with a realistic sounding growl.  He lowered his head, watching comprehension dawn on the blonde's face as he braid slipped over his shoulder and into plain view.  Dustin waited for the expression of disbelief and horror before howling loudly and leaping at the blond for a second time.

Crying out and reaching for a firearm that wasn't there, Zechs only managed to tumble backwards onto Treize's bed and wake the older man from his 'coma' for a moment.  Treize's eyes fluttered open, the first thing in his vision a snarling wolf-like creature with a long chestnut braid.  Pinned by Zechs, unable to move and facing a vision from a nightmare or bad horror movie, Treize did the only thing that seemed appropriate.  He pushed Zechs towards Dustin and ran for his life.

Bored with torturing the nearly comatose blond, Dustin veered sharply around the man and ran towards Treize as he bolted from the infirmary and down the hall.  For several turns and intersections, he followed doggedly at the older man's heels, snapping and howling.  They rounded yet another corner and Dustin skidded to a halt and frantically backpedaled.  Twenty Oz soldiers with weapons drawn were waiting for them.

Zechs, he thought darkly.  I forgot about him.  He must have called them.

Shots ricocheted off of the floor and reinforced walls.  Dustin dropped all pretense of moving on all fours and sprinted down the hall, desperate to lose the men chasing him.  He had no doubt that he could do it if he wasn't shot by some stray soldier.  He was fast.  Not nearly as fast as Deut, but he was fast enough.  Turning a corner suddenly, he leapt for a ventilation shaft he liked to use and scrambled inside out of sight.  Only seconds behind him, he could hear soldiers thundering down the halls, branching out to locate their target.

Panting softly, he began worming his way to the roof of the building.  It was an intricate path to get there, but Oz hadn't figured it out yet and was unlikely to be prepared to stop him there.  Grinning once again, he began his ascent through the ducts and walls.  He was almost out when he heard the intercom tapped into again.  He couldn't help but grin as the bawdy lyrics began blaring through the building.  That had to have been Darren, or he'd eat his braid.

EAT, BITE, FUCK, SUCK, GOBBLE, NIBBLE, CHEW,

NIPPLE, BOSOM, HAIR-PIE, FINGER-FUCK, SCREW,

MOOSE PISS, CAT PUD, ORANGUTAN TIT,

SHEEP PUSSY, CAMEL CRACK, BIG LION SHIT.

I WENT TO A PARTY AND WHAT DID THEY DO?

THEY TOOK OFF THEIR SOCKS AND THEY TOOK OFF THEIR SHOES,

THEY TOOK OF THEIR SHIRTS AND THEY TOOK OF THEIR PANTS,

I HAD A HUNCH WE WEREN'T GONNA' DANCE.

Laughing himself sick, Dustin continued his ascent.  Like their last raid, they had placed the music at deafening levels, only this time the song was dirty as opposed to merely irritating.  He distantly wondered where Darren had found it.  Chuckling, he broke into the open air and disappeared into the darkness, listening to the chaos left behind him.

EAT, BITE, FUCK, SUCK, GOBBLE, NIBBLE, CHEW,

NIPPLE, BOSOM, HAIR-PIE, FINGER-FUCK, SCREW,

MOOSE PISS, CAT PUD, ORANGUTAN TIT,

SHEEP PUSSY, CAMEL CRACK, BIG LION SHIT.

EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY'S ASS WAS BARE.

NO BRAS LEFT, JUST A QUEER OVER THERE.

THE WHOLE DAMN THING DIDN'T PHASE ME A BIT--

I JUST JUMPED ON THE PILE AND GRABBED SOME TIT…

To Be Continued…

Here's the next section.  More strangeness to come soon…  Tell me what you think!

***The lyrics above are from "Eat Bite" by John Valby.  This is a real song, not just a figment of my perversion.