I didn't plan on making a sequel to "I Didn't Get to Say Goodbye", but Merry's thoughts kept swimming in my head. So, I did a little ficlet on Merry's thoughts.

Quote of the Fic: "I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." Jimmy Dean

I don't own Lord of the Rings.

This time, it's Merry's point of view.

"I Didn't Get to Say Goodbye"

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When I woke up, the first thing that occurred to me was Pippin was gone. When I looked around camp, I noticed that Gandalf was gone also. When Aragorn told me what had happened, I acted nonchalant. But my heart was beating so fast inside my chest. My little cousin was gone and I couldn't watch him anymore.

I never blamed Pippin for being a curious hobbit. He is a Took, after all. But if I had known that touching that stone would take Pip away from me, I would have wrestled Pip to the ground and tied him there. Then he wouldn't have been taken away from me. He would awake by my side and everything would be okay.

I shouldn't have agreed to let Pip come with us. I know that my uncle and aunt wouldn't approve of it. But Pippin, in a way that only Pippin could, begged and pleaded with me. He pouted. I had told him no. But when he stood there, as tall and proud as can be, glared at me, and pointed out every reason why he should come, I knew that I wasn't looking at my little cousin anymore, I was looking at Peregrin Took, the next Thain of the Shire. I did what I had to do; I gave him my permission to come.

I knew that I had to keep an eye on Pip. Uncle Paladin and Aunt Eglantine would never forgive me if anything should happen to him. I had always watched out for Pippin when we were younger, and they trusted their only son in my care. I couldn't let them down, because if I let them down, I failed. I made a promise to myself many, many years ago that concerned Pippin's well-being.

I had waited years for a little boy to be born, and when Pip was born, I knew that my years of praying and being patient had paid off. I knew that I would teach him everything that a young hobbit-lad had to know. He was a willing student, always curious and ready to learn. Sweet-tempered but very mischievous and extremely curious, every second I spent with him when we were younger was an adventure. I promised myself that I would take care of Pippin and teach him everything I thought he needed to know.

I think that some hobbits were bothered my almost intense concentration on my younger cousin, as I was, and still am, eight years his senior. But Pip was my baby, the cousin I had waited almost forever for. In my mind, I had every right to spoil him and baby him.

One winter, when Pippin was ten, he became deathly ill. For almost three weeks, he lay sick. Everyone in the Smials was ready for the worst. But when Pip made a full-recovery, I made another promise to myself that I would let nothing happen to him. That I would keep an eye on my younger cousin to make sure he never got that sick again.

The only thing is, I don't know if I'll ever see him again. I don't know if I can keep that promise to myself.

Every time Pip would visit Buckland, and every time I would visit the Smials, he and I made a great show out of saying goodbye to each other. We knew we'd see each other in a month or two. We knew, that by saying goodbye, the next time we saw each other it'd be as sweet as the parting. We knew we'd see each other again. And if, for some reason, we never saw one another again, we had said our goodbyes.

I didn't get to say goodbye to Pippin.

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Peace, Love, and the Moon!

Moonfairy2000