Three days later, they learned what the braided menaces had done.

When Wufei booted up his laptop to check for new missions, he found that his browser homepage had not so mysteriously changed.  A nude girl, maybe sixteen, was posing for all the world to see.  Cursing, he grabbed for a tissue to staunch the flow of blood from his nose, trying to change the page.  He had almost succeeded when recognition hit and all of the blood quickly drained from his face.  His nosebleed dried up instantly.

The girl onscreen was slender, but well built, delicate curves adorning her hips and chest.  Jaw length ebony hair swung free around a smooth, bronzed face, dark eyes peering seductively towards the camera.  A vein in Wufei's forehead bulged dangerously.  He didn't need to look closely to know that the image was computer enhanced.  It was him.

A slow rumbling noise began to echo through the Winner mansion, building in volume until the windows rattled from the sheer force of the furious roar.

"MAXWELL!!!"

Computer forgotten, he raced from the room in search of the braided idiots.  He didn't even care which one he found.  Someone was going to die.  Now.

Charging into one of the many living rooms with all the subtly of a charging bull elephant, he came upon a terrifying sight.  Quatre was curled up on the sofa, bright red and struggling not to laugh.  A crate of Playboy Magazines had been delivered to the house and opened, the individual magazines scattered across the floor.  In front of the crate stood Trowa and Heero, holding up one of the incriminating things for all to see, centerfold hanging down as they laughed hysterically.  Seeing him, they flipped the magazine around so he could see the doctored centerfold of himself in full color glory.

"Hello, Tu LuSu," Heero managed to get out.  Quatre made a choking noise, tears escaping from his clenched eyes as he fought not to laugh.  His face reddened further, igniting his neck with the rosy color as he struggled valiantly.

"Would you like me to prepare your dark chocolate body paint?" Trowa asked, glittering emerald eyes flickering over one of the side articles.  Quatre finally lost it, exploding into laughter on the sofa.

"Would you like two men today or three?" the blond choked out between sidesplitting laughter.  "A proud Amazon warrior like yourself would be insulted by any less."  With that, all three pilots broke down into wild, uncontrollable laughter.

It started somewhere a mile below the mansion, gaining in magnitude and power until it erupted at a single focal point, shaking the earth for miles around from the sheer thundering force.

"MAXWELL!!!"

The three pilots scattered across the room laughed harder despite their current deafened states.  After a few seconds, Heero managed to compose himself enough to call out to the fuming Chinese pilot as he stormed from the room.

"You won't find them," he gasped.  Tendons stood out on his neck as he tried to remain calm long enough to convey his message.  "They left the moment this arrived."

Wufei swore in Chinese and stalked off.  They couldn't hide from him forever.

*     *     *

On the other side of the world in Egypt, Treize and Zechs were staring at the centerfold in the latest issue of Playboy in utter shock.

"Isn't that…" Treize began.

"Zero Five?" Zechs finished.

The two exchanged a knowing look.

"He pissed of one of the Maxwells, didn't he?"

"Obviously."

*     *     *

Carefully hiding in a safehouse far, far away from the pissed Chinese pilot, were ten braided maniacs, all of which were still laughing at the images they were seeing on the cameras they had hidden in the mansion.  Their ears were still ringing from Wufei's last roar of fury.

"If he doesn't lower his blood pressure soon, his head will explode," Donovan ground out, tears seeping from his eyes.

"He needs less stress in his life," Dustin agreed.

"When do you think he'll eventually calm down?" Deut asked, still shaking.

"In a few days."

"Few weeks."

"Maybe in a couple of years."

"Never."

Laughter rang through the small safehouse yet again.  Wufei had set about dragging the stacks of Playboys outside to burn.  One of his eyes was twitching so badly it appeared like he was about to have a seizure.  Or was already in the midst of one.  He was so upset that he didn't notice that each of the other pilots grabbed a magazine to hide so they could tease him later.  Not that it would have mattered had he noticed.  After all, the Maxwells had some copies of their own.

"So, what do we do in the meantime?" Duo drawled, thoroughly enjoying the show.  Wufei was turning redder with each passing second.  Duo was silently wondering if the vein on the Chinese pilot's forehead was going to explode.  He wasn't the only one.

"I guess teasing Wufei is out of the question at the moment," Dustin provided.

"Well, duh," Deut laughed.

"Teasing Oz is still okay, right?" Derrick asked, an unholy gleam entering his violet eyes.

"Of course," Donovan answered.  "I mean, what else are they good for?"

"Hot, dripping monkey love?" Darren supplied.

"Or not," David muttered, eyeing his brother warily.

"We let him in the safehouse why?" Daniel groused.

"Um… he'll be a good source of protein if we're starving to death?" Deut suggested.

"He's a good source of protein no matter what," Derrick leered, defending his lover.

"I don't think I needed to hear that," Duo whimpered.

"My poor innocent mind," Dustin seconded.  "Oh, the pain.  The pain."

"He's corrupting us!" Duo pouted, pointing at the smirking pyromaniac.

"Who's corrupting who?" Derrick protested.  "I don't recall you ever being innocent."

"Innocent is a relative term," Donovan mused, lips quirking upwards into a smile.

"And no one related to us qualifies," Deut said, looking quite serious.  There was a small pause while the other Maxwells considered her statement.  Naturally, it didn't take them long to concede the point.

"You know," Darren said, face straight, "there's nothing saying that we can't tease Wufei and Oz at the same time."

"Oh no," Dante breathed.  His eyes widened almost comically.  He did, however, have a good point for panicking.  No one in their right mind trusted Darren when he had that look of innocence on his face.  "Two things.  One, what are you planning?  And two, don't even think it!"

Grinning widely, Darren quickly outlined what he had in mind, oblivious to the looks of absolute horror thrown in his direction.  Amid the mortified faces were glimmers of amusement.  The moment he was done, the argument began.

"No!" David said firmly, scowling.

"But…" Darren said, starting his protest only to be cut off.

"It's demeaning to use Deathscythe in such a fashion!" Daniel seconded.

"Can't we…" he tried again.

"Denied!" Dante hissed.

"Let's vote on it!" Darren said in a rush, afraid of being interrupted again.

Dante scowled darkly, but nodded.  Most of their disputes were settled this way.  Votes almost always highly favored one side of the argument.  If the vote was tied, then the strongest advocate for each side would step forward and the two would proceed to wale on each other until an agreement was reached.  Thus was the way of the braided bakas.

"Fine," Dante spat.  "All in favor?"

As expected, Darren's hand was immediately in the air, followed quickly by both Duo's and Dustin's.  A moment later, and a scowl from his lover, Derrick's hand was raised.  The six remaining Maxwells stared at each other, a contest of wills rising as the seconds ticked slowly by waiting for just one more person to raise their hand.

For the mere sake of chaos, as well as driving Dante batty, Deut flipped her hand into the air at the exact moment that Donovan did, and for the same reason.  For his part, Dante only let out a pained sound and allowed his head to thump against the table with a resounding thud.  David and Daniel immediately began to let the world know of their extensive, and creative, vocabularies while Demitri settled for blushing darkly at what he would have to do.

"Come on," Darren said, drawing three lethal glares from his formerly protesting brothers.  "Think about it!  Heero is going to throw a fit!  And I'll bet you anything that Wufei is going to nosebleed for sure!"

That seemed to settle it.  The three scowls melted immediately.  Ten evil smirks rounded the discussion table.

*     *     *

"You know," Dante said dryly, "Quatre could easily secure us as many mobile suits as we need."

"I'm fully aware of that," Darren said, not even bothering to turn at look at him.  "But this way is more fun."

"What I'd like to know is why here?" Duo pondered.

"Because Treize is here," Darren responded with a smirk.

"What is this perverse fascination you have with torturing Treize?" Dustin laughed.

Darren paused and thought a moment before answering.  "What else are we supposed to do with him?"

True to Maxwell form, they tortured the Oz leader just as doggedly as they did their Chinese friend, much to both men's frustration.  Well, frustration wasn't quite the word.  Hair-pulling, eye-twitching, vein-bulging, foaming-at-the-mouth, call-a-shrink-because-someone's-going-to-need-him, get-an-ambulance-here-immediately, fits of insanity came a little closer.

"You know," Deut drawled.  "We don't have to stick strictly to business.  We could have a little fun while we're here."

A myriad of snorts and poorly muffled chuckles met her suggestion.  The evil smirks returned.

*     *     *

Treize wanted nothing more than to beat his head against the nearest wall and scream.  Even in Cairo, Egypt, the braided menaces found him.  He just knew they were following him.  A brief thought flashed through his mind and he seriously wondered if their mission was to make him resign.  Or have him committed to a mental institution.

The underground levels of the base had been filled with the base's water supply to create the world's biggest indoor swimming pool.  Full of piranhas.  His room had been filled to the ceiling with shaving cream.  All of the photocopiers had piles upon piles of copies next to them, all of the same set of butt cheeks.  'It's a Small World After All' was playing on a loop.  Not the full song.  Just those six words.  Those same seven notes.  Again and again.

Treize was so upset that he didn't bother to respond when four braided lunatics ran by in the middle of a water balloon fight.  He didn't even flinch when a balloon was slipped into the front of his shirt and then smacked by a dexterous hand.  His lack of response caused all four of the menaces to circle back to him and look at each other in confusion for a few seconds.  Shrugging, they decided to pelt him with their entire supply of balloons.  Once he was thoroughly wet, they scampered off to play elsewhere.

A sharp cracking noise echoed through the hall and despite himself, Treize looked up towards the source of the noise.  He was in time to see a door crashing open.  Out of said door ran a mortified blond, naked except for a few choice leather garments and a set of silk lined handcuffs.  Treize stared in shock as a slender braided figure clad in tight black leather and wielding a whip jumped out into the hall after him.

"Get back here!" he roared.  Zechs ran faster.

To Be Continued…

Okay.  I know it was short, but have pity!  I'm supposed to be studying for the mother of all tests right now.  I did this on one of my study breaks.  R&R!  Also, please be patient with my posting time.  Each class in medical school is equivalent to 50 hours of senior level courses in undergrad.  I still can't believe how much reading there is!  o_o

For those of you protesting that the Maxwells couldn't overpower Heero, they can.  I swear I'll explain why it's possible later.  Please believe me!  I'm not just doing that for the sake of jollies!  I swear there's a reason!  ;_;

Note:  Soon, I'll be posting another GW story called Afterimages.  Has absolutely nothing to do with this story, but I worked really hard on it!  It's dark, violent and completely serious, but please check it out.  Be prepared for mass amounts of Duo abuse.  Oh, and R&R on that one too.  ^_^;

If you prefer comedy, and not the serious junk, then watch for a Choose Your Own Adventure I'll have ready soon.  You get to choose what Duo does, determining whether he lives or dies.  When you see 'Pick Your Own Stupidity' come out, feel free to go poke at that one.  I swear it's amusing.  For once, you'll actually get to see first hand how hard it is to be Duo.  @_@