Note: Spoilers Plenty here folks. So don't read… unless you are somewhat familiar to the .hack series. Yes, I may have mixed up some events, but for parody purposes. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, goodnight.

Skeith, The terror of death, had been called to keep guard of the forbidden church for what seemed like months now, accompanied with Maha. He had always hanged out now in an abandoned walkway towards the church. Abandoned, that is except, for the scary voice that so often yells, and, strangely, a girl in white sleeping inside the church on top of the altar. A few moments ago he had heard a loud chuckle just inside the church. As Skeith floated towards the doors of the church that scary voice let out a hacking cough that caught his attention. There was someone - or nobody- just past the doors that blocked the passageway a little further up. He creaked into the doors a bit and looked from afar that sleeping girl.

"Nee ner nee ner neeee neeeer!" the loud voice taunted. "You can't waaake uuuuup!". The sing-a-long tone made Skieth cover his sore ears, "Enough of this. I must plan a surprise for poker night! I'm off!" it giggled along with a hacking cough. The cathedral was now silenced; the voice was no more... Skeith just stood there, wondering what the hell all that was about. Returning to guard duty, Skeith resumed his game of jacks with Maha. Both being bored since jacks was the only activity their master had left them to play. Extreme boredom struck both; each second slowly brought their eyelids closer to blissful sleep. It was too late to be kept awake and it happened… they had fallen asleep on each other. Cute.

_____________________________________________________________________

It was then Kazu and BlackRose had just got their hands on 'The World', out of the incredible or unlucky choice of keywords they both had entered the Hidden Forbidden Holy Ground in the delta server. They gated in to be greeted by a bizarre sight, very bizarre indeed. Both snuck into the cathedral area of the field, not bothering the creatures. "Ah, hot dog vendor sensors… are tingling! Mustn't let it close… " said BlackRose.

"Oh, please! You're ruining the atmosphere!"

"Silence you! I shall slice thy tongue of yours!"

"You're talking nonsense. "

"Aw, you're no fun, bro. But really speaking now… I must have my hot dogs. Later! "BlackRose instantly gated out.

Kazu sighed and decided that it was better just to leave her alone for a bit; besides he was quite interested that a place like this existed. Meanwhile, Maha felt some pressure on her left leg, none other than the weight of Skeith sleeping on her leg. It bugged her, bugged her enough to smack Skeith. Whap! "WHO THERE, BIATCH?!" Skeith shouted, as he smacks maha into the church walls. Ouch.

  "Hey! DON'T DO THAT! You know I get all jumpy when you surprise me like that!" whined Skeith.

"…"

"Visitors?"

"…"

"We should go after them?"

"…"

"Have fun? Being scary isn't fun!"

"!!!"

And so Skeith hurried into the church with Maha attempting to remove herself out of the imprint on the wall. Now, Skeith rammed into the church door, bursting open... the frightened Kazu quickly ran to the confessional booth to hide." HEY, IS THERE ANYONE IN HERE!?" Skeith said loudly. "No!" Kazu yelled back. He then realized he what he had just done and smacked himself in stupidity. Of course, Skeith immediately rammed into to the confessional booth, destroying it. Out of the demolished remains of the booth, Kazu quickly sprang and stood up. The two beings stared each other, Skeith stood fearsome, Kazu looked at the monster and clutched onto his staff prepared for anything.

"HEY! Are you what they call a user?"

The little wave master responds, "Umm… I guess so… I just started playing… ahem, aren't you a user, weirdo!?"

"Nope, but I'm supposed to scare the crap out of you."

 "Wha--?"

Skeith stalled no more and assumed he was one of them icky, foul user things, which his master had implied they were. He then raised his staff upon the wavemaster commencing to attack. The boy just did what any newbie could do and ran like hell! Shelter! Head for the hills, little boy!

            "I'm trying!"

 Back to Skeith, and to narrating… Maha had just caught up to Skeith who chuckled to himself, "Damn, I'm good."

                        "…"

            "What's wrong? I scared the poor bugger."

                        "!!!" 

Anyway, Kazu hid behind the altar, not noticing the girl in white. Peeking at the stone formed being and the muted cat argue, seemingly more interest and amused, he hadn't notice his staff fell out of hand, making yet another noticeable noise. As the two creatures argued about Maha selfishly not sharing her jacks and Skeith being plain mean. They then heard the thud and spotted a boy reaching out for his staff. The boy took a stiff look at the two, nearly wetting his pants while he stared in shock as the creatures did.

            "Oh god..." said Skeith". Spectator! I hate your kind spying me and on my lady here."

The infuriated maha just HAD to smack the brains out of skeith.

"But I... I was..." the boy was thinking fast. "I wasn't watching you two… In fact, you two were… watching me..!"

"Oh, well… umm… keep up the good work!." Skeith said, wrapping a bandage on his head.

"Yeah… so I'll just go back to… not watching you… just… watching the sky behind you…" nervously said Kazu. Neither creature noticed that there was no sky since they're all inside.

            "Say, you haven't seen any users around here have you?" Skeith questioned.

"USERS...? You mean m-... err... no... No...USERS... here! Why I haven't seen one of those... those USERS... in ages... yeah." replies kazu.

             Kazu then pointed at Maha with a quivering finger, "MAYBE... THAT'S A USER!"

"Hmm... err… Yeah..."Skeith mumbled, not even paying the slightest attention, then shouted…

"HEY! It's Aromatic grass!"

The creature had gone off to pluck out the aromatic grass for whatever reason he had in mind. While Maha wasn't too pleased with Skeith's work, she had to take thing into her hands and do something… evil. Maha raised her hand targeting the boy; while a series of polygons formed together to shape some sort of cannon while the boy mysteriously was floating. The cannon had fired.

"Hey! I'm flying!" gleefully, the boy said

"Heh heh heh. What pretty colors… err…?    AUGH!!!!"

                        Skeith had returned with a bundle of aromatic grass.

"Umm… Where did that one dude go?"

"…"

             "Polka night? With mistress?"

                         It's Smacking time!

            -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            Kite (holding a piece a paper): Uh, Let's see… the spook would like to thank you for reading this fanfic and would appreciate it if you could make a review.  As you see, the spook likes reviews; reviewers like you, must give the spook… encouragement.

That's not what it says…

            Kite: Yeah, but it's the truth!

And the truth hurts me and you as well…

            Kite: Whaddya talking about, you're just a bit of chicken, huh? OW!

…Be a good boy and get on with the rest of it.

            Kite: Right, The next chapter… Tsukasa's turn to be the next victim to be trapped in this whacked game.

            Aura: Aw, what a cute boy you are! *glomps Kite* you poor boy, you been through such hell and it's not even over.

            Kite: Yeah, curse them guys at Bandai for delaying us! I want a normal life already, dammit! Ah, you're awfully close, little girl.

            Aura: So…? You make me all warm and fuzzy inside. Hug me tighter!

The spook has left building, have fun you two.

            Kite: W-wait! Don't leave me here. Ack!

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