Notice left by da author: Oy, I'm currently into Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga (Side note: It is a very fun RPG that bends the rules, indeed, it surely does.) and to that, school is also a bother. So I expect myself to finish another chapter near the end of December, at least I hope I don't procrastinate. So here peoples, enjoy the 3rd chapter!

…Still in the hidden forbidden holy ground…

Skeith had chased his master's voice heard from within the cathedral; it was his chance to make up for the life he had taken by asking permission to do so. He had been accompanied by Maha, the cat he had found to be his worst nightmare after his beat down at the walkway. After entering the front doors, he had left Maha behind, who had suddenly dropped her precious jacks and had to count them if she missed any. Inside one of the confessional booths, further back from the one he destroyed earlier, the monster spoke…

"If anyone is there, listen to me. I have done a terrible thing today; I've taken a poor boy's life just because my brain itches. I don't seem to remember my algebra, but that's not the point. I KILLED SOMEONE! I AM A BAD MAN! Why did this have to happen to me? Aside from my confession, I've also came here for courage… courage to ask my mistress if she can forgive me for my actions. Maybe she could help me out? Do something for him? I feel that I must do something for the poor guy. And…"

"Why not forget about him?" An eerie feminine voice answered with a question.

"M-mistress!? You're a priest? I swear you could have fooled me." (Hey… what?)

"I'm right outside… in fact, where you sit now is a destroyed booth. I can hear you loud and clear, you dolt!" the voice called out, added with a terrible cough.

"Oh, I see… how long have you had that cough?" Skeith questioned.

"Uh… a week after I was created. Apparently, that idiot creator gave me the ability to think, to feel emotion, and be tolerant to substances that put me in these conditions. Yeah, I like rolling in mud and trash. Got a problem?!" the voice explained.

Skieth only pondered how that can be possible… then asked, "Ah, now that you know why I'm here. I beg of you to give this boy another chance in life."

"No." She quickly answered.

"Aw, c'mon!"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"I'll be your friend..."

"No."

"Aw, you're mean!"

"Damn straight."

Yawn… after much pleading that lasted several days; the persistent Skeith conjured up a plan. Maybe it's a good one? Eh? Eh?! Being a normal day, Skeith stared at the cathedral doors and sighed. He was about to open his idea to Morganna, which may be his last as she's nearly had it with Skeith and assured him six months in a single room with a television that had poor reception, no cable and most terrifying of all, no remote. He noticed that on the front door a pile of furniture done up with several chains and padlocks blocked the entrance. Mysteriously though, all the junk appeared just so sudden. Examining the wall right to the pile, he noticed a large post-it note that simply read: Go away.

Skieth didn't want to believe whatever it said, so as he saw the note, the letters rearranged themselves to read: FREE PIE INSIDE!!

"Oh, boy! Free pie!" Skeith said with great delight. The contented monster spared no time whatsoever and immediately lifted the pile of junk with ease, and simply tossed it aside as he could care less where it went. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea, as you see… that pile flew… flew down the walkway where Maha was busy playing marbles. The strange shadow formed over Maha's little playground (or just her favorite part of the pavement), noticing it enlarged every second; she came to look into the sky and recoiled in horror. CRUSH!!!!

***

Skeith was now on the roof of the cathedral, standing near the weathervane (hmm…), and scratched his head in confusion. Seems he didn't find that pie… though, he wasn't giving up as he head back inside and stood near the altar where the girl in white was at rest. Keeping an eye out for whatever he thought looked like pie; he heard a little girl chuckle… but how? That girl is asleep, I see. No, wait… she's gone!

"OOGA- BOOGA!!!" the girl in white shouted right into Skeith's ear just as he turned around to find… nothing! Nothing at all… pitch black, really. The girl got a hold of his sight by playfully covering his eyes.

"Oh my god, I've gone blind!" cried Skeith, walking backwards, tripping over a teddy bear and thus taking the two to land on the hard marble ground, head first of course. The monster quickly rose up to see the girl in white… awake and rubbing behind her bruised head. "Do you have to be so damn childish?!" he questioned, arms crossed.

"Of course, I'm still a kid, Idiot!" the girl shot back.

"Duuuuhh… I thought you were dead?" Skeith said.

"Dead? Uh… dead tired… Yes, that's it!" The girl answered.

Suddenly, Morganna's voice boomed in…

"Skeith, did you not read that post-it note I left outside?!"

"I sure did! I believe you owe me some pie. Key lime please."

Morganna took a moment of silence... and decided to change the subject.

"Wait-a-minute… didn't you have an idea to propose to me?" Morganna questioned.

"Ah, fine, but I want my pie soon right after the plan. Anyway, I was thinking if we made the boy a babysitter for the girl right here, ya know? Instead of you or any of us having to guard her from the evil humans, why not make him do it? Then you'd have a lot more free time to play with us, Mistress!"

"Bad idea. The boy is human. He's better off being desert, speaking of which, we haven't had any humans for a while. Let's have him dipped in hot caramel!"

"Well… we could make him evil."

"Tch.. chyeah… Bwhahahaha!! That's so laughable! Him? One of us!? HA, HA, HA!" Morganna gloated on.

"Please… just one test to be an evil babysitter?" Skeith pleaded.

"Aw, fine. If he fails, get this: NO TV for an eternity."

As Morganna agreed to this vigorous trial, she promised him the boy's (COUGH!) life back. With that declared, a portal opened above Skeith's head, and out came Tsukasa's gray corpse landing on the unsuspecting monster.

"Ew, get him off of me!" Skeith immediately picked him off. But now the gray body turned back in the full colors he was once in before. He had been filled with life again. Yet, skeith only poked the rising body from the floor.

"Wakey, wakey, sleepy head." Skeith continued to poke with his humongous staff.

"OW! My spleen, you damned idiot!"

"He's awake. Good! Now, little boy prepare to be asked: How are you feeling?"

"Uh… alright I guess. I'd kill for a hot dog right about now; add some bon bons with it too."

"That shall be done, but in the meantime you must fulfill a task for me."

"Whatever." Tsukasa only shrugged.

"For your task… you must put that girl in white to sleep."

Tsukasa turned to where Skeith pointed to see the child sitting on the altar, picking her nose and flicking off some… thing… suddenly point to herself for attention. Tsukasa gave a wide grin, walked up to little girl and awed.

"Aren't you the most adorable little girl ever?!"

"I want a bedtime story now, bitch." The toddler demanded.

Of course, then it's time for the tuck-in express to make its arrival!" Tsukasa said with unusually alacrity, then pulled out a handy blanket to cover the child and began reading "Little red riding hood".

After a charming read to such a charming girl (NOT!), Tsukasa succeeded in putting the girl to sleep.

"Mmm… burgers." The girl slept talk. Now Tsukasa left the church to find Skeith and Maha talking about…

"So I said to her… if you won't be giving me my key lime pie, I'm going places. Places far away." Skeith conversed to Maha.

"…"

"Yeah, that is rad, ain't it?"

"…"

"HAH!! That's so true. You're quite humorous, my friend." Both playfully laughed; one laughter not audio-able.

"Ahem!!" Tsukasa called for attention, "I've put that girl to bed and she's sound asleep… to dreeeeamland. Sigh…"

"That's great! You now qualify to attend the school of villainry." The monster congratulated.

"Huh? I never recalled enrolling to such a thing."

"Yeah, but it'll take just little as 15 minutes of your time and then you've got your full time job being a babysitter."

"Wait-a-minute, I never agreed to this! What the hell are you babbling about?"

"Well, you see… you did… um… I… I… you… drove… zoom… dang…"

Skeith only found himself out of words… he couldn't seem to haggle the boy (?) to becoming a bad guy. Nevertheless, the monster did not give up and tried a different method of persuading.

TWHACK!!! The sound of a strike on the back side of the head was heard, and Tsukasa fell unconscious.

Moments later… our wavemaster awoke to a much more calm scenery with trees and lots of green that had a healthy glow all around. There was a bed in the middle of the field and it's where the girl now slept. Now standing and dusting his (meh...) robes and suddenly had a migraine on the backside of his head, no, it was a lump that hurt like crap and a big one too! Walking around for a bit, he heard a deep and scary voice that breathed heavily…

"Tsukasa…"

"Wha... w-who's there?! Where am I?" Tsukasa looked around very alert to his surroundings.

"You are… somewhere, but ignore that for now. It's time to reveal the truth." The voice continued with the heavy breathing and finished, "Tsukasa ……I AM YOUR FATHER."

"NOOOOO! YOU JUST CAN'T BE! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!!" Tsukasa rather to be defensive only curled into a ball and began pulling his silver hair.

"Whoa… calm down a bit. I'm just pulling your leg; it's me, the almighty ruler of this world."

Tsukasa only ignored and continued to roll around along the ground while screaming his lungs out.

"AGH! Stop it! My ears are bleeding; I feel my head is going to burst into pieces. AAaagghh!! …CEASE NOW!"

The voice's statement only froze the boy (I think the people get the point…) and filled him with questions like…

"But… how?"

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Kite: And in the end, Skeith nor Tsukasa got what they wanted…

Terajima Ryoko: …Mister Kite, would you be so kind enough to lend me a cup of sugar?

Kite: Ah, it's great to see you and not one of those weird girls that put me in awkward situations. Of course I'll give you sugar!

Ryoko: Yeah, what's wrong with them I wonder? Anyways, than--- GAH!!! (Is suddenly pushed away by…)

Subaru: Surprise, surprise!

Kite: EEP! It's you now, isn't it? Damn it all… (Immediately runs away at mach speed!)

Subaru: These bizarre pair-ups will never end. The manifestation of people thoughts of wrong pairing ways that have now taken physical form and use the power to control some of us! BWHAHAHAHA!! *Cough*. You can't run forever!

Kite: Just keep telling that to yourself, zombie-slave! I'm light-years ahead of you.

And just who is the monster that's doing this? It's an ugly, huge, cockroach-like creature that breathes fire and terrorizes people. I'm serious!

Filthy Roach Egghead of DOOM (Rubbing his hands –or- legs in a pleased manner): Good… good… *cackles*

…We'll just call him FRED for now.

Be sure not to miss the next episode of Skeith & Friends! R&R or FRED will cause mass destruction to your pairing dreams.