Coming of Age Arc - Prima Luca ( Latin : at dawn )

Inspired by linkin park's "numb"


Hello my name is Quatre Winner and I'm an alcoholic.

::spiff::

Well maybe not. But what if life was only that simple, so simple in terms that one could blame their problems on a simple substance, a certain action, a specific… person.

Let me try this again…

Hello my name is Quatre Winner and I'm a 19-year-old gay musician. I've fought in two wars, killed countless numbers of people, and am the disowned son… or more technically was the disowned son of the richest man in the universe.

Welcome to my life, its pretty isn't it.

Well my life isn't as bad as I make it sound. No-really I had a great childhood… in theory. My father-the late Mr. Winner, He gave me everything I ever needed, whatever money could buy. I had tutors, superior schooling, and lessons in how to conduct myself in proper society. He wanted the best for me; I just wanted freedom and my father's respect.

I know what kind of a man he wanted me to mature into and I was sorry to disappoint him when I grew into a pale small framed boy. Aside from my slightly unimpressive body structure, I found by the age of 14 he could tell what my sexual preference was-and it shamed him.

Shamed him to know that his only son was a "fag".

And how did I repay him? Well I no longer control his business empire he dedicated his life to, one of my many sisters now runs that horrible business, I will never carry on the Winner name, children are not a "real" option for me- maybe in the future Trowa and I may feel the need to adopt, and I will never mingle again with the so called "proper society", I've had my fill of lies and false smiles.

I've learned with a lot of help from my friends, comrades and my lover that what my father wanted was not the path I wished to take.

After the war I tried my best to "carry on" the Winner name, but I only succeeded in increasing my blood pressure and pissing off twenty-nine sisters.

*no wonder I'm turned off by women*

With this in mind I found myself separated from those around me; my sisters, the rest of the upper class and most differentiable from- my father.

It was as if every step I took was another mistake to him. I was a disappointment- I feared to be less than what he expected. I tried to please him and now I know there was no pleasing him. Nothing I did was every good enough.

I thought of myself as a failure and fell into what everyone calls a "deep depression". It was a very taxing time for me but with the help of Trowa and my friends I worked my way out of the darkness-

*also with the help of my therapist which I see once a week, thank you very much*

But now I see clearly what I was blinded by for so many years- I am not my father and will never be. And that's ok.

I have finally settled into what Trowa and I call a "normal life."
I have a cat, a pleasant apartment, a job I love and a wonderful life partner.

::sigh::

I currently love the way my life turned out to be.

I do what I love... being a professional concert violinist and piano player.

And best of all I never do what anyone forces me to do.

Well almost anyone... Trowa is the one exception. He's my life- Trowa is what got me though the last couple of years and I respect his opinion and his advice.

He's a constant reminder that I am loved and that I am always supported.

God I love the guy.

Hello my name is Quatre Winner and I'm happy.