Yiku: Yo my people! I'm back at 11:39 PM Eastern Time on December 29, 2003!
I just got done watching RAW, and all I gotta say is.
WELCOME BACK, STONE COLD!!!!!!
Yes it's true, the Texas Chainsaw Rattlesnake is back and kickin' ass! Even if you don't watch WWE, please thank God, David, Buddha, Allah, whoever thou might worship!
Ahem. Excuse me, I had to rave there. I'm pumped, and ready for random fun!
Disclaimers: It would seem that MY own original work has not reached its fame within the past seven hours, so what's that to ya?
Chapter Two: The Journey Commences! Where's My Coffee?
The three ventured onward, despite the lack of reviews the director received from the previous chapter. They had gone on for about a day, and were making quite a bit of progress.
"I can still see the village", Hiei said unenthusiastically.
Oh, well maybe not.
"Oh come on, Hiei, quit being a whiner!" Yiku ordered.
"Nooooooo..I'm hungry. Sheba, do you have any food?"
"Maaaaaayybe", Sheba replied, waving around a pocky stick.
Hiei stopped in his tracks at the sight of the tiny, chocolatey snack. He held out his hand to try and grab it, but the Saiyou lifted it just out of his jumping reach. "Nuh-uh, not so fast. First you have to do something."
The fire demon growled. "I don't have to do anything! Gimme the damn pocky, woman!"
"Hm, that's right, you could go hungry. Or you could take my dare...."
"Name your price", Hiei said blandly.
From up ahead, Yiku noticed that no one was reacting to her off-key singing, and turned around to see a most unusual, not to mention, scarring sight.
On the highest branch of the highest tree, Hiei stood tall (ahem), arms out in preparation for flight. The fire demon gulped and looked down to the earth below, noticing how far the fall would be. And all of this was for a single pocky.
He looked down at Sheba and yelled, "C'mon, do I really have to say it?!"
"Do you want all, or a quarter of this pocky?!" she yelled back.
Hiei sighed. There was no way he was getting out of this one, and he knew it. However, he set all of his dignity aside, as he leaned forward, and off the branch, shouting at the top of his lungs, "I AM HIEI, RULER OF THE SMALL, FURRY, WOODLAND CREATURES!!!!!"
And all of this, was in his famous heart-shaped boxers.
Unfortunately, Hiei did one flip too many, and landed smack into a fish pond. Sheba and Yiku slowly walked over to check his condition, only to see that he was....
"Hey, dude, he's drowning", Sheba stated, somewhat amused.
"Huh, huh, huh..cool", Yiku said as she made no effort to save him.
After a few minutes, Yiku got bored and reached down to save Hiei. She eventually was able to pull him out and realized he was unconscious. She exchanged a blink with Sheba, then looked down at the demon laying in front of her. "I'm not doing it", she said simply.
"You're the one who likes him", Sheba remarked.
Yiku fwapped her. She then thought. "Or! We could just let him die."
Sheba shrugged. "Yeah I guess we could. We'd have more food that way and maybe the whining will let up."
The two began to walk away, when they heard a dramatic, "I'M NOT DEAD YET!!" from behind them. They looked, and watched as Hiei slowly got to his feet, coughing as he went. He looked up at them, fury in his eyes. "You were just going to leave me there, weren't you?!"
Yiku shrugged. "Yeah, it seemed like a good idea at the time."
Hiei glared at her. "Bitch", he muttered as he stood and followed them. "Now, where are we going?"
Before anyone could answer, Sheba spotted something in the distance, just beside the road. Actually, it was more like two somethings.
~~~~~ COMMERCIAL BREAK!! ~~~~~
~staticstaticstatic~
Yiku: ~unenthusiastically~ Do you get tired easily? Is it really annoying? Tired of those little baggies under your eyes? Well no more!
~holds up a little pill container as many bright lights show up~ Now, you can get, Cornholio In A Pill!
Akito: ~shows up~ Oh-my, how-does-it-work?
Yiku: Simple!! ~shoves a capsule into Akito's mouth, making him gag~
Akito: Gahhhh!!!! ~stops squirming and goes into a calm state~
Yiku: See? Drugged up like a-HEY THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!! ~kicks Akito in the back~ DO IT RIGHT!!
Akito: ~twitches as he begins to laugh insanely. He takes his kimono and puts it over his head, and holds his hands up, elbows bent~ I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO-O-O-O-O-O-O!!!!!!
Yiku: ~smirks~ See? Works every time. Now just call this number! 1-800-INE- EDTP!
Akito: ~starts running around crazily~ TP....TP for my bunghole...~crashes into the camera~
~~ END COMMERCIAL BREAK! ~~
~On the side of the road~
A girl with pink hair and a bass guitar strapped onto her back held her thumb up for the passing truck. A girl beside her with blue hair and a tail held up a sign, reading "Kentucky or Bust!".
Suddenly, Yiku, Sheba, and that other guy sprung from the bushes and jumped into the road. Correction! Yiku and Sheba jumped into the road, Hiei was caught in midair by the blue-haired lady. Meanwhile! In the middle of the road, the driver veered off to the left at the last possible moment, and dove out of the window just before the truck blew up.
The driver held his head and sat in the middle of the road, while Yiku blinked. "Shigure?" she asked.
"Oh, hello", he said, now standing up. He dusted off his kimono, and looked around. "Funny, where's Hatsuharu?"
Sheba blinked. "Haru's with you?"
"But...it blew up", Yiku said, dazed.
"Ah, yes, that is a shame. But, you know Haru, surely he's found some way to get out in time", Shigure said, somewhat hopefully.
"Hey, did you forget about us?!" someone called from the road. The voice happened to be--
"Haruko!" Yiku shouted as the others returned.
"Yo..." the fellow bassist said, as she held someone by the wrist. "Look, I found a cow!"
They looked to see Hatsuharu in his transformed state.
Suddenly, just as Haru was about to go off, the authoresses switched places and Sheba was now typing! Horror of horrors! The sudden change left a plot hole large enough to drive a truck through! Nevertheless, Sheba blissfully poured her nonsensical (yes, that's a word) drivel from her brain to her fingertips to the screen in front of her, and, as they say, the show must go on!
Authoress Sheba paused for a moment pondering the irony of her previous words and concluded that yes, this IS a show, in spite of being a fanfiction of written word rather than a performance of dramatic gesture, and concluded this run-on sentence when she realized that she had digressed from her point.
And yes, she had a point.
And yes, the grammar check on Word has caught that last sentence, thank you very much.
So anyway, in scene 13, which was a wonderful scene written by Yiku which Sheba decided not to include out of pure spite (mwaha), some more people came and joined the group! *gasp* But then you saw that coming, didn't you? So now they were all walking in the desert (or dessert, whichever you think is funnier) when--wait, were they walking? Are they even in fact in the desert/dessert?
*a cue card fills the screen "Please stand by while authoress scrolls up" elevator music plays*
Okay! So they were on a road!
.
In the desert!
..
But they weren't walking! They were standing!
The misfit group continued their journey (NOW they're walking) when a bass guitar began playing. Everyone glanced around accusingly at their three resident bassists (i.e. Yiku, Haruko, and Hiei in case you haven't been paying attention) Shall I keep going, Yiku?
Authoress Yiku: Yes, yes, keep going. I wanna see where this leads us.
Authoress Sheba: Okay!
Anyway, before I was interrupted, they heard a bass playing from nowhere and saw someone walking on the other side of the road, coming toward them. The music got louder as they approached.
As they got closer, they saw who it was.
Kurama was carrying a guitar, Jin a bass, and Touya had an entire drum set around his neck. Kurama was.singing something:
"Hey mister, where ya headed? Are you in a hurry? Need a lift to happy hour, say 'oh no'."
The group listened with interest and intrigue (hey! Alliteration!) and wondered how they were playing electric instruments with no amps.
"Do you break for distilled spirits? Need a break as well."
Hiei raised an eyebrow. "Kurama, what are you doing?"
"Hitchin' a Ride!" Kurama replied simply. Touya did that little.you know.Ba- boom CH thing on his drums, what's that called again?
Audience member: A rimshot?
Yeah! That's it! Thank you!
Moving on.
So then, the dudes were all like, "Hey, dudes, what'cha doin' headin' that way, man?"
And then, and then the older dudes were all like, "Hey man, we don't know, we just doin' what the authoresses are typing, man!"
And then, and then that one dude, with the red hair and horn and the windy thingie, was all "hey, want some of this pot, man?"
And then, everyone else was like, "dude! Drugs are bad, mmkay? Don't do drugs, man!"
And then, that dude was all like, "Hey, why we all--talking like a bunch of stoners, man?"
And then.and then.and then.
Authresss Yiku: Hey! Sheba! Wake up, or I'm gonna kick you in the nuts!
AND THEN THE CHAPTER ENDED! THE END!
Yiku: ~stares and blinks at Sheba~ Very nicely done.
Sheba: ~does the bongos and bows~
Now review!!
WELCOME BACK, STONE COLD!!!!!!
Yes it's true, the Texas Chainsaw Rattlesnake is back and kickin' ass! Even if you don't watch WWE, please thank God, David, Buddha, Allah, whoever thou might worship!
Ahem. Excuse me, I had to rave there. I'm pumped, and ready for random fun!
Disclaimers: It would seem that MY own original work has not reached its fame within the past seven hours, so what's that to ya?
Chapter Two: The Journey Commences! Where's My Coffee?
The three ventured onward, despite the lack of reviews the director received from the previous chapter. They had gone on for about a day, and were making quite a bit of progress.
"I can still see the village", Hiei said unenthusiastically.
Oh, well maybe not.
"Oh come on, Hiei, quit being a whiner!" Yiku ordered.
"Nooooooo..I'm hungry. Sheba, do you have any food?"
"Maaaaaayybe", Sheba replied, waving around a pocky stick.
Hiei stopped in his tracks at the sight of the tiny, chocolatey snack. He held out his hand to try and grab it, but the Saiyou lifted it just out of his jumping reach. "Nuh-uh, not so fast. First you have to do something."
The fire demon growled. "I don't have to do anything! Gimme the damn pocky, woman!"
"Hm, that's right, you could go hungry. Or you could take my dare...."
"Name your price", Hiei said blandly.
From up ahead, Yiku noticed that no one was reacting to her off-key singing, and turned around to see a most unusual, not to mention, scarring sight.
On the highest branch of the highest tree, Hiei stood tall (ahem), arms out in preparation for flight. The fire demon gulped and looked down to the earth below, noticing how far the fall would be. And all of this was for a single pocky.
He looked down at Sheba and yelled, "C'mon, do I really have to say it?!"
"Do you want all, or a quarter of this pocky?!" she yelled back.
Hiei sighed. There was no way he was getting out of this one, and he knew it. However, he set all of his dignity aside, as he leaned forward, and off the branch, shouting at the top of his lungs, "I AM HIEI, RULER OF THE SMALL, FURRY, WOODLAND CREATURES!!!!!"
And all of this, was in his famous heart-shaped boxers.
Unfortunately, Hiei did one flip too many, and landed smack into a fish pond. Sheba and Yiku slowly walked over to check his condition, only to see that he was....
"Hey, dude, he's drowning", Sheba stated, somewhat amused.
"Huh, huh, huh..cool", Yiku said as she made no effort to save him.
After a few minutes, Yiku got bored and reached down to save Hiei. She eventually was able to pull him out and realized he was unconscious. She exchanged a blink with Sheba, then looked down at the demon laying in front of her. "I'm not doing it", she said simply.
"You're the one who likes him", Sheba remarked.
Yiku fwapped her. She then thought. "Or! We could just let him die."
Sheba shrugged. "Yeah I guess we could. We'd have more food that way and maybe the whining will let up."
The two began to walk away, when they heard a dramatic, "I'M NOT DEAD YET!!" from behind them. They looked, and watched as Hiei slowly got to his feet, coughing as he went. He looked up at them, fury in his eyes. "You were just going to leave me there, weren't you?!"
Yiku shrugged. "Yeah, it seemed like a good idea at the time."
Hiei glared at her. "Bitch", he muttered as he stood and followed them. "Now, where are we going?"
Before anyone could answer, Sheba spotted something in the distance, just beside the road. Actually, it was more like two somethings.
~~~~~ COMMERCIAL BREAK!! ~~~~~
~staticstaticstatic~
Yiku: ~unenthusiastically~ Do you get tired easily? Is it really annoying? Tired of those little baggies under your eyes? Well no more!
~holds up a little pill container as many bright lights show up~ Now, you can get, Cornholio In A Pill!
Akito: ~shows up~ Oh-my, how-does-it-work?
Yiku: Simple!! ~shoves a capsule into Akito's mouth, making him gag~
Akito: Gahhhh!!!! ~stops squirming and goes into a calm state~
Yiku: See? Drugged up like a-HEY THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!! ~kicks Akito in the back~ DO IT RIGHT!!
Akito: ~twitches as he begins to laugh insanely. He takes his kimono and puts it over his head, and holds his hands up, elbows bent~ I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO-O-O-O-O-O-O!!!!!!
Yiku: ~smirks~ See? Works every time. Now just call this number! 1-800-INE- EDTP!
Akito: ~starts running around crazily~ TP....TP for my bunghole...~crashes into the camera~
~~ END COMMERCIAL BREAK! ~~
~On the side of the road~
A girl with pink hair and a bass guitar strapped onto her back held her thumb up for the passing truck. A girl beside her with blue hair and a tail held up a sign, reading "Kentucky or Bust!".
Suddenly, Yiku, Sheba, and that other guy sprung from the bushes and jumped into the road. Correction! Yiku and Sheba jumped into the road, Hiei was caught in midair by the blue-haired lady. Meanwhile! In the middle of the road, the driver veered off to the left at the last possible moment, and dove out of the window just before the truck blew up.
The driver held his head and sat in the middle of the road, while Yiku blinked. "Shigure?" she asked.
"Oh, hello", he said, now standing up. He dusted off his kimono, and looked around. "Funny, where's Hatsuharu?"
Sheba blinked. "Haru's with you?"
"But...it blew up", Yiku said, dazed.
"Ah, yes, that is a shame. But, you know Haru, surely he's found some way to get out in time", Shigure said, somewhat hopefully.
"Hey, did you forget about us?!" someone called from the road. The voice happened to be--
"Haruko!" Yiku shouted as the others returned.
"Yo..." the fellow bassist said, as she held someone by the wrist. "Look, I found a cow!"
They looked to see Hatsuharu in his transformed state.
Suddenly, just as Haru was about to go off, the authoresses switched places and Sheba was now typing! Horror of horrors! The sudden change left a plot hole large enough to drive a truck through! Nevertheless, Sheba blissfully poured her nonsensical (yes, that's a word) drivel from her brain to her fingertips to the screen in front of her, and, as they say, the show must go on!
Authoress Sheba paused for a moment pondering the irony of her previous words and concluded that yes, this IS a show, in spite of being a fanfiction of written word rather than a performance of dramatic gesture, and concluded this run-on sentence when she realized that she had digressed from her point.
And yes, she had a point.
And yes, the grammar check on Word has caught that last sentence, thank you very much.
So anyway, in scene 13, which was a wonderful scene written by Yiku which Sheba decided not to include out of pure spite (mwaha), some more people came and joined the group! *gasp* But then you saw that coming, didn't you? So now they were all walking in the desert (or dessert, whichever you think is funnier) when--wait, were they walking? Are they even in fact in the desert/dessert?
*a cue card fills the screen "Please stand by while authoress scrolls up" elevator music plays*
Okay! So they were on a road!
.
In the desert!
..
But they weren't walking! They were standing!
The misfit group continued their journey (NOW they're walking) when a bass guitar began playing. Everyone glanced around accusingly at their three resident bassists (i.e. Yiku, Haruko, and Hiei in case you haven't been paying attention) Shall I keep going, Yiku?
Authoress Yiku: Yes, yes, keep going. I wanna see where this leads us.
Authoress Sheba: Okay!
Anyway, before I was interrupted, they heard a bass playing from nowhere and saw someone walking on the other side of the road, coming toward them. The music got louder as they approached.
As they got closer, they saw who it was.
Kurama was carrying a guitar, Jin a bass, and Touya had an entire drum set around his neck. Kurama was.singing something:
"Hey mister, where ya headed? Are you in a hurry? Need a lift to happy hour, say 'oh no'."
The group listened with interest and intrigue (hey! Alliteration!) and wondered how they were playing electric instruments with no amps.
"Do you break for distilled spirits? Need a break as well."
Hiei raised an eyebrow. "Kurama, what are you doing?"
"Hitchin' a Ride!" Kurama replied simply. Touya did that little.you know.Ba- boom CH thing on his drums, what's that called again?
Audience member: A rimshot?
Yeah! That's it! Thank you!
Moving on.
So then, the dudes were all like, "Hey, dudes, what'cha doin' headin' that way, man?"
And then, and then the older dudes were all like, "Hey man, we don't know, we just doin' what the authoresses are typing, man!"
And then, and then that one dude, with the red hair and horn and the windy thingie, was all "hey, want some of this pot, man?"
And then, everyone else was like, "dude! Drugs are bad, mmkay? Don't do drugs, man!"
And then, that dude was all like, "Hey, why we all--talking like a bunch of stoners, man?"
And then.and then.and then.
Authresss Yiku: Hey! Sheba! Wake up, or I'm gonna kick you in the nuts!
AND THEN THE CHAPTER ENDED! THE END!
Yiku: ~stares and blinks at Sheba~ Very nicely done.
Sheba: ~does the bongos and bows~
Now review!!
