SD: Hey there. Here's an extra long chapter for you! I'm so proud of my self! *wipes imaginary tear away*

Otogi: ...That's it?

SD: What do you mean?

Otogi: You have been dragging this story for so long it's not worthy to be called a story anymore!

SD: What's that supposed to mean?!

Otogi: *sigh* It means this story sucks, and it's turning into a soap opera.

SD: Really?

Otogi: There are a few major keys to a truly horrible (a.k.a. 'good') soap opera. One: The plot must be virtually non-existant.

SD: ^_^ Check!

Otogi: Two: The major character (if female) must be every boys' dream and vise versa.

SD: Check.

Otogi: Three: Lots of drama encircling the major character over minor and/or miniscule things.

SD: -_- Check.

Otogi: Four: The major antagonist (bad guy) stays unknown to the major protagonists (good guys) until the last possible moment.

SD: Check...

Otogi: Five: At least one person must come back from the dead at least twice. Whether truly dead or just pretending doesn't matter.

SD: Check. (remember Anzu?)

Otogi: And lastly, one of the major protagonists must have some strange, obscure family tie neither knew about until told by a friend or family member.

SD: Uh... (you can't really count Siri and Marik...)

Otogi: Well at least it's not a -real- soap opera.

SD: Actually...

Otogi: No. No no no. You did not.

SD: Heh heh... ^_^() Yep. And I have no idea how.

Reviewers: How what??

SD: ^_^() You'll see... And just so you know, this symbol thingy... Just signals a time lapse.

~*~*~*

"So then she told me she's Marik's sister!"

"Woah."

"Yeah. Scary isn't it?"

"Definitely."

"I'm glad Seto and Bakura are normal again*. But I don't think Seto will ever be the same again."

"I'm just happy Bakura's not eating Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs** for breakfast anymore. Do you realize it was taken off the market a little while ago for having -too- much sugar?"

"They have a law for that?"

"Miss Zora Bakura! Would you kindly look to the -front-?!"

'Oh, crap!' was Zora's only thought before Siri squeezed in a //BUSTED!! HA- HA!//

Zora was currently in class, talking with Ryou about her weird dream and Siri's relations. Approximately two minutes later a note from Ryou thwacked the back of her head.

Rubbing the sore spot, she read it. Basically it accused her of lying and being a terrible friend. Hastily she scribbled a reply that told him to meet her by the water fountain after class. She folded it up and tossed it back to Ryou. Unfortunately, the teacher saw and gave her a detention for passing notes in class, he gave her two more after 'she' (a.k.a. Siri) chucked a pen that hit him between the eyes, making the class roar with laughter. (In case you're confuzled, an explanation of sorts is coming up)

"Look, I didn't find out until a couple of day ago, okay? It's not -my- fault!"

"You could've told me!"

"Oh, yeah. There's a nice conversation: 'Hey, Ryou, guess what? I'm related to you and I didn't even know it!' "

Ryou grumbled to himself and leaned against the wall glaring at Zora, looking remarkably like his yami. "How are we related?"

When Zora failed to answer he looked her in the eye and said loudly, "How are we bloody*** related?!"

-Very- unlike Ryou.

Zora took a steadying breath and said quietly, "Half-sister. I think." (This. I truly have no idea how that happened. She's like, from another universe or something. ...Hey, don't blame me! I was in math class when I wrote it! Why would I need to know how to graph a square root?! I was bored. Give me a break.)

Silence.

Ryou suddenly spun around and ran towards the door. "Where are you going?! It's the last day of school and we're having a party!" But Zora's shouts went unheeded as Ryou only sped up and ran out of sight.

//I think you made things worse.//

/Shut up Siri. I didn't hear -you- offering to help./

(OOC alert! Weeeooooo! Weeeooooo! Huh. Probably should've put that before...oh well. And Bakura has a nasty potty mouth coming up. But that's it. I think.)

//Ryou?//

/What?/

//Don't do anything stupid.//

/Says the tomb robber./

//...Shut up.//

/Go away./ Ryou cut off the mind link.

He hopped on the bus and a quarter of an hour he was home. After running up the stairs, he scanned his room. Taking off his backpack he dumped its contents onto the bed and shoved a set of clothes, hat and sunscreen into it. Then he opened the shoebox full of money he kept under his bed and put the bills and coins in his pocket.

Jumping down the stairs two at a time, he dashed into the kitchen where he stuffed as many non-perishable foods as he could into his backpack. Running back outside, Ryou threw his bag into his extremely rusted and beat-up Ford, got in, and took off.

Driving fifteen miles an hour above the speed limit, Ryou spied what he was looking for. Screeching to a halt, he hastily double-parked and went into the store, emerging a moment later with a canvas duffel bag. Placing this beside his backpack, Ryou again drove off.

Again he stopped, this time outside a small pet shop. Seizing the duffel bag, Ryou sauntered inside. Seeing the store clerk preoccupied with another customer, Ryou edged his way to the python tank. Stealthily he slipped the big snake into the bag and sprinted to his car, which he had left running. Speeding away from the red-faced clerk, Ryou drove to the airport.

"Flight 709 for Cairo is now boarding, Flight 709 is now boarding." A nasally voice intoned, sounding rather bored.

The airport was so filled with screaming kids, rushing women, and pushy men that it was a miracle that Ryou was able to get to the front desk.

Ryou shoved some money on the desk in front of the clerk. "One for Flight 709," he said to her. She looked down her nose at him and said loftily, "Flight 709 is now -boarding-, not selling tickets. We're all full."

Ryou's eye twitched.

The Sennen Ring glowed with an almost blinding white light for a second and the woman now faced a teenager the looked almost exactly like the one before, but this one had wilder, spikier hair, a nasty sneer on his lips, and a dangerous glint in his eyes.

Faster than the naked eye could track, Bakura's hand shot out and grabbed the woman by the collar. "Listen, you simpering, disgusting, fucking pathetic excuse for a human," Bakura hissed in her face. "You are going to give me a ticket, you are going to let me on that plane, and then you are going to fuck off!" He released her shirt and smirked. The clerk was shaking so badly that she almost missed the 'silent alarm' button under the desk. Almost.

Within five minutes of getting on his plane with his snake-in-a-bag, (which hadn't been checked at customs) two burly security guards seized Ryou by the arms and 'escorted' him off the airplane.

"I'm telling you, I didn't do it!" he pleaded with them. The two only grunted in reply.

/Bakura! Help me! You're the one who got us into this mess; you can get us out./

//Fine. Fine. Let me take over.// Bakura grumbled.

The guards released Ryou as they suddenly felt him change beneath their fingers.

Bakura stood in his 'evil pose' for a moment for effect, (you know, feet set wide apart, arms cocked by his sides, fingers spread wide, and face tilted a bit downward so that as he stares the whites of his eyes show) then stood straight up. His eyes glinted and a cruel smile spread across his face as he slowly and deliberately took out his dueling deck.

/Bakura, you scare me sometimes. More than usual, I mean./

//'Tis my job, little hikari, 'tis my job.// He materialized next to Ryou.

"Did you -have- to send both of them to the Shadow Realm?"

"Do birds -have- to fly? Yes!"

"Well, actually, penguins and ostriches don't-" Bakura clapped a hand over Ryou's mouth. "You -do- want to spend the rest of this trip conscious, don't you?" Ryou nodded his head vigorously.

"Well then don't contradict me!"

Bakura leaned against the small sink. (Yes, the sink. After Bakura had 'dispatched' the two guards, Ryou had had to hide in the airplane's tiny bathroom or the flight attendant would've killed him.) He grimaced with distaste and went back into the Ring.

Ryou settled down for a long, boring, uneventful ride.

Several long, boring, uneventful hours later we find Ryou repeatedly slamming his head into the wall.

Slam!

"Ow."

Slam!

"Ow."

Slam!

"Ow."

The bright Egyptian sun pounded into Ryou's sensitive eyes. Walking with his backpack and duffel bag, Ryou slathered sunscreen onto every bit of exposed skin. (Thankfully jeans he is wearing.) Suddenly he bumped into someone. "Oh, gomen, gomen." Ryou mumbled, looking up at the man. What he saw made him freeze.

"Ryou! What are you doing here?!"

The boy in question gaped up at the man that stood above him. Chocolate brown eyes peered out from a well-tanned face, he wore dusty, faded, canvas- like shorts and T-shirt with a hat of the same material.

"Dad?" Ryou whispered hoarsely. Then he smiled. Not a happy smile. Not even his usual I'm-so-shy-I'll-just-smile-and-not-talk smile. No, this was an evil I-know-something-you-don't-so-haha! Smile most likely seen on any opponent dueling Yugi. So mostly Bakura or Marik/Malik. Scary.

"Ryou? Are you okay?" Ryou's father asked, looking concerned. "Oh, yes, -Dad-, I'm quite fine. Never better, actually. But I think its about time for a little father-son chat, don't you?" It was more of a command than a question, if you know what I mean.

Ryou's father eyed his son warily, "What do you mean...?" he asked slowly. Ryou reached into the duffel bag as he spoke, "About this sister of mine I met a little while ago...did you know I had a sister, Dad?"

Now red in the face, Ryou's father answered, "Well of course...I...did... ...Ryou, did you take that snake on the plane??"

Ryou smirked, looking much like Bakura, and said, "Oh, but Dad, he isn't just -any- snake. He's my new pet!" Ryou had taken the snake out of the bag and now it was thrashing and hissing like mad, trying to bite anything. ...I don't think it liked the plane ride much...

Ryou (or Bakura, it's hard to tell them apart at the moment...) draped the enraged serpent around his father's neck and shoulders, where it immediately started to squeeze his neck. "Aww...look Dad, he likes you! See, he's giving you a hug."

Still smiling, Ryou left his father with the stolen python wrapped firmly around his trachea, and went back to the airport to get a plane back to Domino.

~*~*~*

* I was just too lazy to make another chapter with them back to normal. Actually, I had skipped it by accident, then I made it, but then it sucked so I deleted it. Yep, I suck, I know already.

** I don't own Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs, it belongs to Bill Watterson who writes Calvin and Hobbes comic strips. Just thought you'd like to know.

*** This is the British word for f*cking. They don't like to use American swears 'cause they're buttfaces.

~~~

Otogi: Ooookay.

Ryou: Why am I a psychopath?

SD: Because you've spent you're entire life thinking that your only family member was in Egypt and you're mad because he never told you that you had a sister.

Zora: Half-sister.

SD: Whatever.

Zora: You wrote it, you should know.

SD: Look, I really don't care at this point! Okay!?

Otogi: *pats SD on the back* Don't worry, it'll be over soon...