Five by Five

My watcher insists that this is the norm for a 'slayer'. A

sort of journal for old men to read. See how the slayer

dealt with stuff. I bet they just get their jolly's off

reading it. Listen up, cos this will thrill the pants off

you.

3 days ago this english chick comes up to me. I think she

is gonna hit on me and walk away. The chick follows me. So

she started rambling on and on about needing to talk to

me. I say to her 'Lady you aint stopped talking'. Anyway

she starts talking about Vampires and I am thinking wow

need that white coat. She pulls out a wooden stick and

starts waving it around. Well by now crazy chick is

starting to bug me. I walk away cos its not like I need

some crazy chick all up in my face. Does she take a hint,

Hell no she still follows me. I keep walking. Then get

this crazy bitch calls my name. How did she know that.

Freaked me right out you know. I am kinda frozen and she

has caught up. As she rambles on I hear the word Vampire

again and laugh at her. Its so messed up this tiny english

chick all obessed with vampires. the wind looked like it

would break her in two. Anyway I asked her if she took er

meds. Then she says she can prove it. I know by now that

she aint gonna leave me alone and hell its not like the

home is buzzin. I follow her.

Crazy bitch leads me into old shop. Its totally

destroyed. The smell is rotten you know. Really gross.

The whole thing is starting to give me the wiggins. I yell

to the lady that I gotta go. I almost wet myself when this

guy jumped out. His face was all outta wack. The crazy

girl screams and they guy turns to her. I am stood there

like not able to move and this guy grabs the loony and

starts shaking her. Its so weird cos usually I would bail

but I have no idea why I grabbed this guys hard and

pulled. I heard a crack, you know like a bone breaking.

The guys eyes are yellow. I swear to god and he is well

disfigured. Damn inbred bastards. Anyway he fricken hits

me. Punches me right on the jaw. It stings but its not as

sore as it should have been. So weird. I can hear crazy

lady screaming 'stake him Faith'. I think great some

inbred fool trying to kick my ass and crazy bint thinks I

should cook him a steak. Guy must have though it was weird

too cos he stopped and looked all jumpy. It was kinda

funny he looked like a rat trying to escape. Any crazy

bint throws me a stick and screams 'his heart Faith' the

guy almost jumps me. Pushing him off I try to be all

calm 'Hey bozo I would rather kiss my own ars....' Guy

tried to bite me. I though god he must be a cannabil or

something, like on tv. A night sharing the tv with the

other's at the home doesnt look so dull now. Anyway the

guy keeps lunging at me. Maybe never seen a girl out of

his family. We end like fighting on the ground. I can feel

the dirt on my clothes and get major pissed off. I bring

my knee up between his legs and hear him growl. Like a

damn dog. He moves away and I try to get to my feet. The

guy grans my foot and lunges on me but I dunno how it

happened but he landed on the stick. Then hell I dont get

it yet but the crazy lady said he had turned to dust.

After that I listened to crazy lady talk. Rita her name is

she is from England and she claims to be my watcher. I am

to go live with her so she can train me. How great it will

be like a real home. I aint chaging my last name to

Sullivan though