Disclaimer: No, I don't own the Matrix or anything associated with it (except for 'Girl').

And now, we find ourselves back with Girl, who last time was left in one of the Agent's prison cells *gasp*, because the Agents think that she's the One, which she isn't.  She has no clue what is going on, as she has not seen The Matrix, and only has her friend's idle talk about it to go on.  But wait, it gets worse in Chapter 2 of this adventure, which is brought to you by Ever Annoying Songs Inc; "They never cease to annoy everyone around you, guaranteed!"

Chapter 2: Escape

Agent Bob: You know that girl we caught yesterday?

Agent Bill: Yeah.

Agent Bob:  Well, she's in her cell yelling about something.

Agent Bill:  What's she yelling?

Agent Bob:  She wants chocolate.

Agent Bill:  You mean she's locked in a cell and all she can think about is chocolate?!?

Agent Bob:  Apparently.

Agent Bill:  I think we made a mistake bringing a teenage girl in here.

Agent Bob:  No kidding.

Back in the cell…

Girl:  I'm hungry, dammit!  I want some chocolate!

Agent Jim (guarding door):  I already told you NO!

Girl:  Can I have some DVD's to watch then?

Agent Jim:  NO! 

Girl:  But I'm bored!

Agent Jim:  Tough.

Girl:  You wanna play tough?  Okay then…

Agent Jim:  What do you mean, 'play tough'?  I'm on the other side of an impenetrable door, in case you've forgotten.

Girl (off key):  I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES EVERYBODY'S NERVES EVERYBODY'S NERVES!  I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES!  I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES EVERYBODY'S NERVES…

Agent Jim: I'm not listening you can't make me!

Girl (off key):  10 MILLION BOTTLES OF A NON-ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE ON THE WALL 10 MILLION BOTTLES OF A NON-ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE!  TAKE ONE DOWN PASS IT AROUND 9 MILLION 9 THOUSAND 9 HUNDRED AND 99 BOTTLES OF A NON-ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE ON THE WALL!

Agent Jim: *clutches ears in agony* OKAY!!!  YOU CAN HAVE SOME BLOODY CHOCOLATE!!!  JUST STOP SINGING!!!

Girl:  AND INUYASHA DVDS!

Agent Jim:  NO!

Girl (off key):  THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS YES IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS SOME PEOPLE STARTED SINGING IT NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS AND THEY'LL CONTINUE SINGING IT FOREVER JUST BECAUSE THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS YES IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS…

Agent Jim:  FINE!!! *creates mound of chocolate and some Inuyasha DVDs inside cell*

Girl:  I need a TV to play the DVDs!

Agent Jim: Too bad, kid.

Girl (off-key): ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO MEEEEEE A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!!!  ON THE SECOND DAY OF  CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO MEEEEE TWO TURTLEDOVES AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!!!  ON THE THIRD DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO MEEEEE THREE FRENCH HENS TWO TURTLEDOVES…

Agent Smith: *walks over and shouts over the singing* What the hell is going on here?!?

Agent Jim: *shouts back* She keeps asking for stuff!!!

Agent Smith: *shouts back* Don't give her anything!!!  She's a prisoner!!!  Just tune out the singing!!!

Agent Jim: *shouts back* How?!? *curses, because Smith had already run off with his hands over his ears*

Girl (still singing off-key):  ON THE FIFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO MEEEEEE *gets louder by at least 10 decibels* FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE GOOOOOOOOLDEN RIIIIIIIIIIIIINGS *goes back to normal ear-piercingly loud voice* FOUR CALLING BIRDS THREE FRENCH HENS TWO TURTLE DOVES AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!!!  ON THE SIXTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO MEEEEEE…

Agent Jim: How many days of Christmas are there?!?  I don't know if I can take much more!!!

Some time later…

Girl: AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Agent Jim: She finished and I'm not deaf!

Girl: IN THE FIRST CHAPTER OF LORD OF THE RINGS TOLKEIN WROTE ABOOUUT ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL!!!  IN THE SECOND CHAPTER OF LORD OF THE RINGS TOLKEIN WROTE ABOOUUT TWO JEALOUS RELATIVES AND ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL!!!  IN THE THIRD CHAPTER OF LORD OF THE RINGS TOLKEIN WROTE ABOOUUT…

Agent Jim: *muttering with hands over ears* Tune it out…tune it out…tune it out..

Girl: IN THE FIFTH CHAPTER OF LORD OF THE RINGS TOLKEIN WROTE ABOOUUT FIIIIIIVE RINGWRAITHS ON FIIIIIIIIIIIIRE FOUR FUNNY HOBBITS THREE BAGS OF MUSHROOMS…

Agent Jim: *creates TV and DVD player too, then runs away screaming*

Girl:  Yay!

Suddenly, an alarm goes off all through the building.  Girl is annoyed, as she is watching Inuyasha and anyone who interrupts Inuyasha-watching must die. Two green heads start to come through the floor, and solidify into two identical albino men with white trench coats and dreadlocks.

Girl:  That's a nice trick.

Twin Two:  Us, why does everyone say that?

Twin One:  Perhaps because it is a nice trick.

Girl:  I know who you are too!  You're the Twins!

One:  That is correct.

Two:  Wait, you know who we are too?

Girl:  I also recognized Smelrond!

One:  Smelrond?

Two:  How do you know who we are?

Girl:  Well, since my friends are completely obsessed with you, I should know.

Two:  Someone is obsessed with us?

One (muttering):  Smelrond…who is Smelrond…

Girl:  Yeah, they can even tell you apart.  So, why are you here?

Two:  You.

Girl:  Why me?

Two:  We heard that you were the One.

Girl:  The one what?

Two (starts singing):  The one with the power.

Girl (sings too):  What power?

Two:  The power of voodoo!

Girl:  Who do?

Two:  You do!

One: *snaps out of reverie* We swear if we start singing that bloody song, we'll kill us!

Two:  Sorry us!  Anyway, come on girl, we've been sent to get you.

Girl:  Only if I can bring my chocolate.

One:  Whatever, come on.

Two:  *blasts through the door*

All three: *run down and get in the Twin's car*

Later at the Merovingian's mansion…

Girl:  Ooooo…pretty…

One:  We're back, sir!

Merovingian:  *walks in very stately-ish* Did you get ze girl?

Two:  Yes, sir.

Girl:  Who's that?

Merovingian:  I am ze Merovingian.

Girl:  Merovingian…that name rings a bell somewhere…

Merovingian:  But ov course, mozt people 'ave heard ov meh.

Girl (musing to herself):  I don't think it was a very good bell, either…hmmm…French something something, I think…

Merovingian:  Ah, French, it iz mah favorite language. *places hand on girl's shoulder*

Girl:  The French…MIROKU POSER!!!  AAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *slaps the Merovingian*

Merovingian: Quel l'enfer?!?!?!

Girl: *curled in fetal position on floor, rocking slowly back and forth* Miroku poser…I'm trapped with a Miroku poser…I'm gonna die…

Two:  *pokes girl's head* Are you okay?

Girl:  MIROKU POSER!!! *goes back to muttering*

Merovingian:  I sink zat zere iz somesing wrong with her.  Oh, well, it iz not an issue ov much importance in mah 'everysing revolves around meh und mah little causality obsession' happy place.  Show her to her room.

One and Two (simultaneously):  Yes, sir.

~~~

A/N:  I am having so much fun with this, can you tell? And no, Girl is not me. She is only extremely heavily based on me. I know some stuff about the Matrix or I would not be writing this fic, now would I? Thanks to megami no inazumi for helping me out with the Twins and Mero!  And super mega ultra kudos to anyone who figured out what song Girl was singing with Two and where it came from. ^_^