Disclaimer: We've already been through this; I don't own anything or anyone except Girl.
When we last left Girl, she was playing Ocarina of Time in the Merovingian's mansion. Trinity came to 'rescue' her, but instead began to watch her play, along with the Twins. After Trinity came Apoc, Switch, and Mouse, who also began to watch rather than rescue anyone. Stuck with only Cypher the Creepy on board, Morpheus came to rescue everyone wearing a helmet over his eyes to keep him from being 'hypnotized' by the game. Then the Merovingian came in, and the chapter ended. So without further mindless prattle, here is Chapter 5, wh1ch h45 b33n br0ugh7 70 u by L337 U53r5 Un173d; "Ph33r 0ur m4dd l337 5killz!!11!"
Chapter 5: Yellow Pill
Merovingian: What do you mean 'you're in a Temple'? Get zese idiot Rebelz out ov mah house!
Two: In a second, sir, she's almost finished.
Trinity: Yeah, we'll leave when she's done.
Morpheus: But what about rescuing the One?
Girl: Not until I've finished the bloody Temple! Besides, I don't think I need rescuing.
Merovingian: Und I got to her firzt.
Morpheus: But we need her to destroy the Matrix!
Merovingian: Az I am part of ze Matrix, I don't feel particularly inclined to help you.
Girl: I still have no clue what the Matrix is, and I don't really care what happens to it, actually.
Merovingian: So zere. She wants to stay with meh.
Girl: I never said that! *mutters* Bloody Miroku poser thinks he rules the bloody universe…
Morpheus: See, she doesn't want to stay with you either!
Merovingian: Well, who else iz zere? Ze Agentz?
Girl: You mean the walking clichés in suits? I definitely don't want to stay with them.
Trinity: Watch out for the boulder!
Girl: Gah! Now look what you made me do, I lost a whole Heart Point. *glares at Merovingian and Morpheus*
Morpheus: If you don't want to stay with the Agents, the Rebels, or the Merovingian, then who do you want to stay with?
Girl: I'll stay with the Twins. They're the funnest people I've met on this whole bloody…thing.
One: Technically we're not people…
Girl: Whatever you are then.
Merovingian: But ze Twinz work for meh!
Girl: Yeah, but if you don't come near me I can pretend otherwise.
Morpheus: I can't believe this.
Girl: Believe it. Yay! I'm at the boss! Everyone who's not giving advice will now shut up!
Morpheus: *grumble glare grumble*
Two: Go for the tail!
Switch: Dodge the fireballs!
One: Shoot it in the eye!
Apoc: Jump in the water!
Mouse: Use your potion!
Trinity: Throw a bomb in its mouth!
Girl: I WIN!!!
Everyone except Mero and Morpheus: YAAAAAAAAY!!! SHE BEAT THE TEMPLE!!!
Morpheus: Now we can rescue her!
Trinity: *snaps back into character* Wait, what is everyone doing here? I thought I was going to rescue the One!
Switch: You were, but then something happened and I had to rescue both of you.
Mouse: And I had to rescue all three of you.
Apoc: And I had to rescue all four of you.
Morpheus: And I had to rescue everyone and leave Cypher in charge!
Mouse: Why are we sitting on beanbag chairs?
Switch: Why aren't we fighting the Twins?
Apoc: Why aren't we being all cool with our guns and stuff?
Trinity: Why aren't we rescuing anyone?
All: AND WHY DID YOU LEAVE CYPHER IN CHARGE OF THE SHIP?!?!?
Morpheus: I don't know! But we can fix this! We can rescue the One, be cool, fight the Twins, and get Cypher out of charge all at once if we hurry!
And so Trinity carried Girl out the window, Apoc fought the Twins, Switch ran around looking 'cool', and Morpheus and Mouse went back to the ship and put Cypher the Creepy in solitary confinement.
Later at some old, decrepit house…
Trinity and Girl are waiting impatiently for everyone else to show up.
Girl: But I wanted to stay with the Twins!
Trinity: Too bad. You know what you are.
Girl: Actually, I have no idea.
Trinity: Here's some hints. Three letters. Ends in 'e'. Means you have secret super special powers.
Girl: I'm a Sue?
Trinity: No! You're the One!
Girl: I wish someone would explain this 'the One' thing to me.
Trinity: When everyone else finally gets here, everything will start to make sense.
Even more later when everyone else was there…
Girl: Everyone's here, but I'm still clueless! What gives?
Trinity: Patience.
Girl: I have none.
Trinity: *sigh*
Morpheus: Okay, I'm ready, everyone else leave now.
Everyone except Morpheus and Girl: *leave*
Morpheus: I know you've read Alice in Wonderland, haven't you?
Girl: Nope.
Morpheus: Well, have you seen the movie?
Girl: Who hasn't? *sees Morpheus' non-understanding* That would be a yes, Rabbit-Droppings-For-Brains.
Morpheus: Do you sometimes feel like Alice? Tumbling down the rabbit-hole?
Girl: *arches eyebrow* Noooo…
Morpheus: Oh, well, that doesn't matter. What matters is, you now have a choice to make.
Girl: *sigh* Figures.
Morpheus: You can either take the blue pill *withdraws blue pill from pocket* and wake up in bed tomorrow not remembering any of this. Or you can take the red pill *withdraws red pill from other pocket* and you stay in Wonderland…and see how far the rabbit-hole goes.
Girl: That little allusion made no sense whatsoever.
Morpheus: Well, I can't tell you what I did mean or I'll spoil the dramatic-ness. Choose red or blue.
Girl: But I don't like either one.
Morpheus: You still have to pick.
Girl: Okay, ummm…YELLOW!!!
Morpheus: Yellow? What does that one do?
Girl: It means that I get to leave without taking any stupid brightly-colored pills.
Morpheus: That choice disappeared when you chose to come here.
Girl: I didn't bloody choose! I got dragged here by Miss Shiny-Leather!
Morpheus: That no longer matters. Now choose.
Girl: I'm sticking with yellow. *runs to door and opens it, but everyone else falls on top of her as they had been listening with their ears pressed against the door* Ouch…or maybe not…
Morpheus: Just pick. Red or blue, no yellow.
Girl: Okay, fine. *glares at Morpheus* I pick blue.
Morpheus: *looks stunned* Hey, you're not allowed to pick blue!
Girl: You gave me a choice.
Morpheus: But…you're the One…and nobody ever picks blue!
Girl: So?
Morpheus: Don't you want to free your mind?
Girl: If freeing my mind means I'm stuck with you nutcases for all of eternity, then no.
Morpheus (to himself): This is not turning out how I expected at all.
Girl (to Trinity): Dammit, Leather Girl, this still isn't making any sense! You said it would all be clear! And guess what? I'M EVEN MORE CONFUSED NOW THAN I WAS THEN!!!
Trinity: It would have been clear if you were picking right!
Girl: Oh, is this a test now? Am I getting graded? *puts hand over mouth and gasps in mock-fear* Oh, I would have studied if I had known! But, wait, I couldn't study because I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON AROUND HERE!!!
Cypher (walking in from door): Neither do I. I had to plug myself into the extra chair because Mouse fell asleep when he looked at me.
Morpheus: It's called fainting, Cypher. Everyone's afraid of you.
Girl (not looking at Cypher): Cypher? That's a cool name. Who is…*looks at Cypher's face* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! CREEPY FACE!!! CREEPY FACE!!! RUN AWAAAAAAY!!! *runs with eyes closed straight into the wall* Ouch…again…
Morpheus: Cypher, how did you get out of your room? I put a huge padlock on the door!
Cypher: Oh, I picked it open with a hairpin. It took a while.
Trinity: Where'd you get the hairpin? Switch and I are the only girls on board and we don't use hairpins.
Cypher: Well, uh, that's a funny story you see…
Mysterious Shadowy Figure In Doorway: I have no time for funny stories, now give me the One.
~~~
A/N: Ooooo, cliffhanger, now you're all gonna hate me, aren't you? Guess what? I wrote this chapter all by myself and I didn't need any help from megami no inazumi! Aren't we all sooo proud of my accomplishment.
