Yu-Yu Yu-Gi-Oh: Yami Files

Prologue: "A New Spirit Detective"

Koenma had his hands full of (...bean tacos! *a plate of bean tacos

appears on Koenma's lap*) food, I guess, when he gave me the announcement.

"Yusuke, I'm hiring another Spirit Detective to be your partner."

I looked at Koenma, like he was his usual idiotic baby self.

"WHAT?! Please, don't let it be Kuwabara! I want to kiss him too much!"

Koenma gave me a funny look at that comment. He put his pacifier back in

his mouth after eating and then looked through his papers, handing me one.

"No, who I have in mind is in California. Your current job is to pick that

person up and bring him to me."

"Yugi Motorola? Okay. Can I take Kuwabara, too?" Koenma lifts a finger.

"Only if Hiei and Kurama come along, too."

(Yusuke didn't know that he'd be picking up more than just Yugi...)

Episode 1: "Yu-Bi-Oh! *farrt!*"

Joey just got out of school and had to go now to his cram studies on Duel

Monsters with Yugi's grandfather, Solomon Moto(rola). Yugi had a test for

Joey. He gave Joey the Millenium Puzzle and asked if he could release Yami.

"Sure ting, Yuge. If only I knew how you did it...uh...you said something

like this right? *Egyptian reed flute* Yu-Bi-Oh!!" Joey farts, but looks

different. His hair looked like Yami's, but that wasn't the weirdest

change. "Uh, Yugi, how come I'm looking at you?" Joey sounded like both

himself and Yami in one voice.

"Eegh...that smeelllll...Joey, you said it wrong."

"Joey?" Yami Joey turns to face a mirror. "AAGH! What's Joey doing with

the Puzzle?!" Yugi nervously laughs at the sight of a Yami and Joey cross-

over that...really, really, stinks. Yami Joey farts again and Solomon falls

down the stairs.

"Bee-yewww..."

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Sylvia was running to the game shop, as it was all the way on the other side

of the neighborhood from her house, and she had to check in every day. While

at a stop light, Sylvia spotted Yusuke walking towards KaibaCorp.

"Hey! Wait! Don't follow Kaiba!" Yusuke looks over at Sylvia.

"Oh, it's you. Koenma didn't send me to get you this time, so you're safe."

"Hey! Yusuke! Oh, hello Sylvia! Like the new kitty that I found in an

alley?!" Yusuke looks at the cat.

"Oh, it's a pretty kitty! Can I have him?" Kuwabara backs up a bit.

'Geez, Yusuke's been real freaky around me ever since he died. It's like

he wants me or something.'

"Anyway, I know who you're looking for."

"Yeah. Yugi Motorola. Do you know where he lives?"

"Uh...first of all, it's MO-TO, second of all, I'm headed there, and last of

all, he doesn't live there." Sylvia points at the KaibaCorp building.

"Oh."

"So follow me, peoples!"

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Yugi had a time trying to get Joey back to normal. After all, his farts from

the crypt were wafting all through the building, and driving out potential

customers. Just after Sylvia enters the door, Yugi takes the Puzzle off Joey

and puts it back around his neck.

"Hello, peopuuuuuuulz! @_@" Sylvia faints.

"Oh, my!" Solomon looks at Sylvia, who suddenly leaps up and startles the

old fart.

"I'm okay, it just smells gross."

"What is that stench? It's fantastic!"

"OUT! Out, Allsman! This place is closed to you!" Solomon not only slams

the door in Jack Allsman's face, but Yusuke and company as well.

"Well, no wonder it's a small shop. He wouldn't get much business by throwing

out fat kids."

"He wouldn't get much business with what the place smells like, either! It's

like an open coffin with a mummy inside!" Kuwabara commented.

Hiei looks at the two of them. "Not getting anything done by standing out

here saying it stinks, are we?" He opens the door to a shout.

"OUST BEAM!!" A flood of air sanitizer passes out of the door and across the

street. Kaiba sees the event from down the street and runs up closer.

"What just happened?! The old man's house exploded with...stuff."

"Seto! That was at Yugi's place!" Mokuba runs over to the place.

"This stuff burns my eyes...all three of them." Hiei backs away from the

white cloud.

"P-U...it smells worse than the store." Kuwabara faints. Yusuke shuts the

door, but doesn't go in. Kaiba punches Yusuke and sends him to his bottom.

"Why did you shut the door?! There could be someone in there!"

"We don't know that, do we?" Just then, the top window opens, with Joey

peering out and heaving for air.

"Haah, haah...SYLVIA!!! YOu nutcase!"

"DID YOU JUST CALL Me A NUTCASE BECAUSE I WILL BREAK UP WITH YOU!"

"Gee...looks like Wheeler can't handle having a girlfriend." Kaiba looks

at Kuwabara. (fancy bright bubbly background!) "Aah! He's passed out!

I must rescucitate him!" Kaiba moves to Kuwabara and gets an inch away from

kissing him when Kuwabara wakes up.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! AND I THOUGHT YUSUKE WAS BAD ENOUGH!!!!" Kaiba

snaps his fingers.

"Oh, nuts. I wanted to make CPR a little fun."

"Me bad enough? HEY! Kuwabara is mine, got that you?!"

"No! He's MINE!" Kaiba and Yusuke argue about who is Kuwabara's "boyfriend"

while Evil Marik walks up to the door.

"Did I hear right about Sylvia breaking up with Joey?" He opens the door,

letting the Oust cloud out again. He faints in front of the door, while

Mokuba walks in with a gas mask that looks like Darth Vader's helmet.

"Sylvia...Marik wants to go out with you." Sylvia looks back at Mokuba.

"NOOOOO!!!"

'Aw, rats.'

"In that case...(Darth Vader voice)...will you go out with me?" Mokuba gets

hit with a giant mallet from out of nowhere and rolls outside the store,

knocking over Kaiba.

"NOT SO FAST, KIDDO!" Joey holds the Humongous Uber-Heavy Hammer of Mokuba

Whacking +88 over his head like He-Man. "I HAVE THE POWUH!!!"

"Riiiight, and you're fat, too."

"What'd you call me?!"

"With all that you eat, I'm really shocked that you didn't gain a pound."

"WAAAARK!!!" A big fat yellow chicken-like bird falls onto the game shop.

Kaiba looks over at the game shop. "Looks like summoning the Fat Chocobo

was a mistake." Kaiba watches as the Fat Chocobo gets lifted off of the game

shop by...(trumpet fanfare...Super Chi-Chi 4! NOT!)...Sylvia Kelt!

"WHO SUMMONED FAT CHOCOBO!?!" Sylvia looks at Kaiba's Duel Disk and sees

the Fat Chocobo card on it. "You did it, huh? Well, then...prepare to

watch this!" Sylvia tosses the Fat Chocobo onto the KaibaCorp building.

"No! My company!"

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Joey: Will Kaiba lose everything? Will Sylvia break up with me? Will

Marik call me fat again? Will Yugi be taken to see Koenma? Find out on the

next Yu-Yu Yu-Gi-Oh!