Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Girl. Does anyone even read these? Helloooooooooo? Somebody? ECHO…Echo…echo…
I got reviews!
Alocin: Yeah, most people haven't heard of it. I know, Smithy isn't that evil, but for the purposes of this fic, he is. Yes, more DB's! I have gotten addicted to them. ^_~
Agent Josey: Being too organized is the first step to becoming…a lemming! *dundunduuuuuun*
Bloodredcherry: Update pie? Am I missing something?
Last time, our NetherCube group was exceedingly bored, so they began to play a game called 'Minister's Cat', which lasted for almost 11½ hours (they have really big vocabularies). Then we saw Trinity and One thinking of a 'Girl Plan' (an insane, random, and completely unpredictable plan) to rescue the NetherCube group from Smelrond. Then we went back to the NetherCube to watch them bash Smelrond's reputation. And now for Chapter 12, which was brought to you by The Sci-Fi Club of UA, "We put the 'eek' in freak!"
Chapter 12: Rescue…Sort Of
And so here we are again with Trinity and One. Trinity has gathered everything they came up with from the Construct and now they are trying to put it all together into some sort of plan.
Trinity: So we have a 3 packs of dental floss, 22 trained flying hamsters, 2 lightsabers, a box of pocky, a jumbo jar of rainbow glitter, a tub of different colored sidewalk chalk, 8 mango-scented candles, 5 toy gumball machines, a roll of duct tape, 3 faerie princess sparkle star wands, 2 Nintendo 64 controllers, last Monday's New York Times crossword puzzle, and a Best of the Beatles CD. What the heck are we going to do with all of that?
One: We could…no, that wouldn't work at all…
Trinity: How about…never mind, that wouldn't work either.
One: Hmmm…so we have a dilemma.
Trinity: How does she do this?
One: We must be doing something wrong.
Trinity: We can't possibly make a sensible plan out of all that random stuff!
One: *points* Wait, say that again!
Trinity: What? We can't possibly make a sensible plan out of all that random stuff?
One: That's what we're doing wrong! We're trying to make sense out of it!
Trinity: Oh, yeah. She never makes any sense at all. That's why her plans are unpredictable!
One: He can predict any sensible plan, but if it doesn't even make sense to the people who make it, then there is no way he can predict anything!
Trinity: Right. Now…what would make no sense…? Aha! One, we need an Agent.
One: An Agent?
Trinity: And a Rebel, but I have that covered. We can't go in ourselves, he knows who we are already.
One: Ah. Well, we think that the Merovingian has a recently rogue Agent. We'll ask him if we can borrow it.
Trinity: And Smith has seen all of my crew…except for Mouse. He can be our Rebel. I'll call him up, then we can go get the Agent. *calls Mouse on cell phone* Hey, Mouse? Yeah…yes…Switch has…yes…pinpoint Smith for me…right…now can you get over here…okay…we're on Walnut street behind the K-Mart…right…see you in a second…*hangs up* He'll be here in a bit.
Both: *wait around for a while*
Mouse: *walks up* Okay, what do you need me for?
Trinity: We're putting an insane plan into action. Now, on to the Merovingian's mansion!
Mouse: But I thought Smith had the Cube?
Trinity: He does. We need an Agent for our plan, too, and One says that he has a recently rogue one
Mouse: Okaaaay…let's go then.
Later at the Mansion
Merovingian: *opens door to see Trinity, Mouse, and One standing there* Quel l'enfer?!? What are all ov you Rebelz doing 'ere? Where iz ze ozer Twin?
One: *hangs head* We lost us.
Merovingian: How ze hell do you lose your ozer self?
One: Agent Smith put us inside this cube thing that cut us off from us. We need to borrow your new bodyguard to rescue us.
Merovingian: But why are ze Rebels 'ere?
One: They're helping because they've got someone in the Cube too.
Merovingian: Well, give meh one good reazon why I should help zem.
One: The One is in there too.
Merovingian: Okay, fine. But only if she stays here after you get ze cube.
Trinity: *thinks* Oh, well, she picked blue anyway. *end thinking* Agreed. Now where's this bodyguard thing?
Merovingian: Girl! Get over 'ere!
A teenage girl walks over from some other part of the mansion, stopping outside the door. She has brown hair, rounded sunglasses, and a small circular earring near the top of her left ear. She is wearing a tan shirt with 'Lestat' sleeves and jeans. Trinity and Mouse are rather surprised.
Merovingian: Good, now go wis zem und do what zey say, provided it doesn't involve your destruction. *shuts door, leaving the girl with Trinity, Mouse, and One*
Trinity: *looks at girl* You're a rogue Agent?
Girl #2: *slowly nods head* Mmm-hmmm…
Mouse: You don't really…look like an Agent.
Girl #2: And your point is…?
Mouse: Ummm…
One: Well, the One doesn't exactly look like the One.
Mouse: And this rogue Agent doesn't exactly look like any sort of Agent period.
Trinity: There seems to be quite an infestation of teenage girls, though.
Mouse: Yeah.
Trinity: I don't know if this particular rogue Agent will work.
Girl #2: Hel-lo? I'm right here. I am a sentient being, you know. And I have a name.
Trinity: Is it some stupid, one-syllable, cliché name?
Girl #2: No, it's Clara. Two syllables, and it's not stupid.
Trinity: Oh.
Clara: You were expecting Sue, perhaps?
Mouse: I was.
Then, there came the dreaded 'Awkward Silence'.
Trinity: Anyway, we need your help.
Clara: I guessed that. What with?
One: We need to rescue us!
Mouse: From another Agent. Smith.
Clara: *hisses at the name* I hate him! If it foils one of his 'plots' I'll do almost anything.
Trinity: Good. Because what we need you to do will be rather insane.
Clara: Insane is good. I can be insane. Yep.
One: Good.
Later with Smelrond…
Smelrond is in some random apartment sitting at a desk with the NetherCube in his hand. He is just sitting there with his eyes closed and mentally arguing with Girl, Two, and Switch. Then the Plan of Insanity was set in motion, beginning when One (who had ghosted into the air conditioning vent) dropped the crossword puzzle down through the metal grille and onto Smelrond's desk. He opens his eyes then, but didn't see where the little bit of paper came from.
Smith: Huh? Where did that come from? Did someone come in? *puts NetherCube in pocket, just to be safe*
Then the door flew open and the flying hamsters came zooming in and began to flap around the room. Then Mouse and Clara came skipping into the room, each wielding a lightsaber in one hand and a fairy princess sparkle star wand in the other. They had also each tied a Nintendo 64 controller around their neck. Between them they were carrying an open cardboard box.
Mouse and Clara (singsong chanting together while skipping around): We are the truce fairies and we like peacefulness and you're going to join us because we say so and we must prepare the ceremony for your initiation so you can be a truce fairy just like us!
Smith: WHAT THE HELL?!?!?
They did not answer his question. Instead they took the chalk and drew squiggly lines and circles on the desk. Then they randomly placed the mango-scented candles on the chalk and lit them, and arranged the Pocky into geometric shapes all in between the chalk and the candles. And just when you thought it couldn't get any weirder, they took the gumball machines, which had been duct taped together into a circle-ish shape, put it on Smelrond's head like a crown, gave him the other fairy princess sparkle star wand, and tossed rainbow glitter over everything. During all of this, they were chanting 'Floofy doodle woo!' over and over. Then as a finale, they took their lightsabers and plunged them into the top of the desk, melting two large holes, and then Clara melted a curved line underneath the holes, forming a permanent smiley face on the poor, doodled-on, half-melted desk.
Smith: *vainly tries to recognize either of the 'Truce Fairies', but it only confuses him more when he sees that they are an Agent and a Rebel. And not the two he was expecting. In fact, he realizes that he has never seen either of them before in his life* Who the hell are you?!?!
Clara: Well, I'm Star!
Mouse: And I'm Cloud!
Both: And we're the Truce Fairies! *pose*
Clara: We stand for unity and peace!
Mouse: Between the Agents and the Rebels!
Clara: For all of eternity!
Mouse: And you've just been initiated!
Clara: You're a Truce Fairy now!
Mouse: And as has been ordained by the Magic Mango Incense of Truth and the Magic Pocky-Chalk Symbols of Harmony, your new name is Moonbeam!
Smith: Moonbeam?
Clara: And because this is so happy for everyone, we will all dance with the flying hamsters to the tune of the Truce Fairy Happy Song!
Then, the CD player that Trinity was dangling from the roof using the dental floss started to play 'Yellow Submarine' very loudly. The extremely confused Smelrond was dragged to his feet and whirled around the room by the two 'Truce Fairies' and used as a landing pad by all of the flying hamsters. Two of them snatched the NetherCube from Smelrond's pocket and passed it up to One through the air vent. Smelrond, unsurprisingly, did not notice. Rather hard to notice that sort of stuff when you're being twirled around in circles with about a dozen hamsters on your face.
Mouse: Now the song is over!
Clara: And we must go!
Mouse: You'll never see us again, I'm afraid!
Clara: But I know you'll always remember us!
Both: Farewell, Moonbeam! *skip out the door, leaving Smelrond covered in rainbow glitter, wearing a crown made of toy gumball machines, holding a fairy princess sparkle star wand, and scarred for life*
3 blocks away a few minutes later…
One: We did it! We rescued us!
Clara: And we got to completely humiliate Smith in the process!
Mouse: And me. I still can't believe you made me do that.
Trinity: Hey, it was pretty darned good considering that everything you did after walking through the door was improvised on the spot.
Mouse: Whatever, but as far as anyone else is concerned, this never happened, okay?
One (singsong chant): We rescued us! We rescued us!
Clara: Sort of.
Trinity: What do you mean, 'sort of'?
Clara: How do we get them out?
~~~
Mweeheehee! I wrote this while I was on a sugar high! Can you tell? Oh, and see? I did actually use everything that I came up with. And yes, I did come up with the stuff before writing this.
