~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paige and Elijah sat holding hands, waiting patiently for everyone to arrive.
Kate and Mike walked in, a little bit disheveled.
"Sorry we're late," said Mike. "We, uh..."
"We didn't know what town we were in, and then we just caught a cab from our hotel wearing the same clothes," Kate finished for him.
"O-oh," said Elijah, Paige kicking him under the table. "Sit over there," said Elijah, indicating the seats as far away from him as possible.
"Okay," said Kate. "So, why are we here?"
"To catch up," said Paige.
"Right," said Kate. Elijah grinned at Mike.
"I heard you got married," said Elijah. Paige kicked him under the table. "OUCH!" he yelled.
Slowly, Ashley and Mark filed in. They were waiting for Bret to arrive.
When he did, all eyes turned and looked at him.
"Hey, everybody- this is Stacy. She's my, uhh..." he looked around. "Girlfriend."
Everyone's jaw dropped. Bret then laid eyes on Elijah.
He tore over the table, and ripped at Elijah's shirt. He grabbed him and shook him until Paige punched Bret hard enough to get him to stop.
"WHAT THE FUCK?" Elijah yelled.
"Hey," said Bret. "You put me in an insane asylum."
"BECAUSE YOU KISSED MY FRICKIN GIRLFRIEND!"
"What?" said Stacy, hand clasped over her mouth.
"Look," Paige yelled. "Everybody, calm the fuck down. I know Elijah and Bret are mad, but let's just move on. I have some fucking information and I need your goddamn attention." Everyone stared at her. "Right," she said, Bret's hands still clutching at Elijah. "I'm moving to L.A. so that I can be on Elijah's record label."
Kate and Ashley stared. Elijah smiled, even though Bret was cutting off the circulation to his neck. Mike looked at Kate. Paige had a feeble smile on her face.
"GREAT!" yelled Stacy. "I always knew you were going places, Paige." She started clapping.
"Hello," said a drawling voice. "Did someone clap for my Sex Fig?"
Mr. Goldberg was back.

Mr. Goldberg stepped out of the shadow of a nearby cactus.

"Mr. G-Goldberg?!?!" Kate cried; her eyes widened.

Goldberg straightened out the black wig on his head.

"It's Ax," he said snivily.

Bret let out a yelp, deceased strangling Elijah, and hid behind Mark's chair. Mark

looked at Ashley who shrugged.

Stacy looked around trying to find Bret, too dimwitted and slow to notice where he was.

"Waiter?" Mike called. The waiter rushed over.

"Yes sir?"

"Could you please rid us of this man? He's disturbing our meal."

"Oh course sir." The waiter smiled. He was sure to get a large tip now. With a snap

of his fingers, two large security guards lumbered towards "Ax".

He screamed as they picked him up by the ears and threw him out the door.

"Excellent..." said Elijah, adjusting his tie.

"So... how's everyone else's life going?" Mike asked. Ashley huffed.
"Craig left me."

No one said anything, and Ashley stared down at her burrito. Mark placed a hand on her

shoulder; his mouth was still burning like hell from the other day, when he had drank

that wasabi tea.

"Oh my GOD!" Stacy squealed. "You had a boyfriend? Was he HOT? Will he go out with

me?" Paige glared at Stacy.
"Yes she did. And no he will not you bimbo." Stacy obviously didn't catch the "bimbo" part, as she was still smiling her insane smile.

"Er... well... I bribed two hobos!" said Kate, trying to lighten the mood. There were oohs and ahhs heard at the table. Bret was still shaking in his chair, seeing Ax again was taking a toll on him.

"Are you okay, Bretty-poo?" Stacy cooed, taking a small vanity mirror out of her

purse and checking to make sure the vast amount of glittery eyeshadow she applied

earlier was still there.

Bret nodded, taking a small sip of water.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paige looked at Stacy.
"I'm sorry Bret, she has to go." Bret looked at Paige.
"But, why?" Stacy paid no attention to the conversation.
"She's our enemy. REALLY." said Paige. "She like, ruined my life in sixth grade, and made everyone else feel like shit." Bret sighed.
"Fine," he patted Stacy on the back. "Look," he started. "I don't think this is working out. We are just, uhh, two opposite people." Stacy looked blankly at him.
"What?"
"Here, let me compare this to something you understand," said Bret, having no patience, and faux sympathy. "I am like, Justin Timberlake. And you are like, Britney Spears. We have to, err, go 'Bye bye bye'".
"But Justin broke up with Britney cause she cheated on him, right? I didn't cheat on you," said Stacy simply. Bret rolled his eyes.
"Umm, I'm like Aaron Carter and you're Hilary Duff. We are breaking up."
"Again with the cheating," said Stacy. "They broke up because she was cheating on him with Frankie Muniz. Hey," she said turning to Paige, "you like Frankie Muniz right?"
"Err," she said, looking at Elijah. He was turning red.
"Frankie Muniz?" he whispered.
"Alright, alright, bad example," said Bret. "I am like, Ben Affleck. And you are like, Jennifer Lopez..."
"But he cheated on her!" said Stacy, gasping. "Did YOU cheat on me?"
"Err," said Bret, and Paige gave him a stern look. "YES! Yes, I did, with..." he searched the table for a person. "Kate!" Mike looked at her.
"You what?" said Mike.
"No we didn't," said Kate, angrily. "Shut the fuck up, Bret."
"Omigod, Kate," said Stacy. "I knew you always were a bitch." She picked up her glass of "no- calorie" water and threw it on Kate.
"I hope that stains," she said, scowling as she walked out of the restaurant.
"Oy vey," muttered Paige as Stacy flipped her hair walking down the street. Mark was laughing insanely. Everyone at the table turned at looked at him.
"Bur-ito," he said, laughing. "What a funny word! Bur-ito," he repeated, rolling his "r"s. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ashley looked over at Mark... now this was embarassing.

"Hey... Mark, let's go home, okay? Too much burrito for you."

She grabbed his arm and pulled him out of his seat, dragging him towards the door.

"Hey... my burrito! I didn't finish it... WAIT!" Ashley dragged Mark out the door.

Mike offered Kate his napkin and she took it, furiously wiping herself off as she

scowled after Stacy.

"Well..." said Paige, looking around the table at all the empty chairs. "That went

well." Elijah sighed.
"Yup, well... it always seems to turn out like this when we all get

together." He looked over at Bret who was at the bar, most likely getting wasted. There were already several empty shot glasses next to him and he looked sort of green.

"That Stacy... what a bitch." Kate growled, crumpling up the damp napkin in her hand

and throwing it at the cactus. It stuck on one of the needles. That would have been

funny to Kate if she wasn't so damn angry at Stacy The Superficial Slut.

"Well..." said Mike, glancing at Elijah with slight disdain. "Now that we're still

here... we may as well talk."

"Err... okay..." said Elijah, looking at Mark's burrito across the table. Now that

he thought about it, burrito was a very funny word. He let out a small laugh.

Kate gave him an odd look across the table.

"So... I'm glad that the marriage dissolving thing went... well," said Paige,

shifting her weight on the chair.

"Yeah..." said Kate, looking at the wall.

"Right..." said Elijah.

"Uh huh," said Mike.

This was going to be a long lunch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Craig landed with a bit of difficulty. It was hard (yes, that's inevitable considering how actress the stewardess was) to get back to his seat, considering all the turbulence that the airplane was experiencing. He strapped himself in, and took a large swig of water.
When the plane got to Auckland, he unbuckled his seat belt and waited for all of the passengers in front of him to get off the plane. He sighed, and slung his shoulder-bag high on his back, then grabbed his larger carry- on luggage. As he was leaving the plane, the stewardess grabbed his behind and said, "Have a nice day, sir."
Aching from the pinching of her acid-green acrylic nails, Craig massaged his buttocks as he walked down the runway from his plane. She was too harsh on him. He picked up his cell phone, and a little picture fell out from his bag.
It was the photo Ashley had taken with him at the convention.
Oh how long ago that was, it seemed to Craig. How fast things may change. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ashley stared at Mark as she sped along the highway. He looked at her quizzically, and she leered right back at him.
"You might want to watch the road," said Mark.
"I have a learner's permit," she gruffed out. Mark laughed.
"You're a crap driver, though," he said, matter-of-factly. Ashley leered.
"Maybe I can take the reins," Mark quietly suggested.
"No," said Ashley. "First off, all drivers I have met from New Zealand have sucked. And I mean sucked. Second, who refers to cars as 'reins'? Were not driving Santa's fucking sleigh."
"Are you alright?" said Mark. "You seemed so quiet and the convention." Ashley snorted.
"Desperate times calls for desperate measures," she said, cynically.
"Are you really that desperate?" asked Mark, cocking his head to the side.
"No," said Ashley. "Not desperate enough to want you that way." Mark sighed.
"Suit yourself," he said laughing. "But I am quite a lover." Ashley looked at him.
"You make me gag."
"Perhaps that's the best kind of man, then?" he said, laughing. Ashley raised her eyebrows.
"If you're insane," said Ashley.
"We both are," Mark replied.
"True," said Ashley, sighing. "So true." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paige stared at Mike and Kate.
"I'll be leaving in two days to go to L.A.," said Paige. Kate's jaw dropped.
"WHAT? TWO DAYS?"
"Yeah," said Paige. "That's sorta why I called everyone here." Elijah stared around in desperation, and Mike glared evilly at him. Bret sauntered over.
"OY!" he said. Elijah walked over and sniffed his breath.
"You're not drunk," he said, questioningly.
"Nope," said Bret. "I called the airline people, and booked two tickets back to New Zealand for me and Mark." Paige looked downtrodden, Elijah looked bored, Mike looked insane, and Kate? Kate looked sublime.
"Going...so soon?" said Kate, masking her jubilee very badly. Bret however, did not get it.
"This has been the vacation from hell," said Bret.
"No, really?" said Paige, sarcastically.
"Why, yes!" replied Bret, not getting anyone's tone. "I got, hmm... dumped by Ashley, watched Paige and Elijah fuck far too many times for comfort, got drunk repeatedly, got shot by a cat, got put into an insane asylum, was molested by a man named Mr. Goldberg, was stalked by a man named Bob, and everyone is now ignoring me! So, I think I am going to go." Everyone was silent for a few moments, then...
"Umm, I think I'm going, too," said Mike.
"WHAT?" cried Kate, coming back from cloud nine far too soon.
"Yeah, same day as Paige and Elijah... Chester and the band needs me back." Kate scowled.
"Did I not tell you? You can come touring with us for the rest of the summer, if your parents think that's okay." Kate smiled like a chesire cat. Paige patted her arm.
"See?" she whispered. "Like I said, you'll eventually get raped by Mike, too." Kate coughed to conceal Paige's saying 'raped by Mike.'
"So, I guess everyone's going to be leaving then, on..."
"Except Ashley," said Mike.
"ASHLEY!" groaned Paige and Kate.
"Oh god, she's going to be so sad, everyone leaving her on the same day..." Paige said.
"What are we going to do?" Kate asked, head in hands. There was a tension over the group as they pondered this.
"Well, best be off then," said Bret, breaking the silence. "Cheerio!"
"When did he suddenly become English?" said Elijah, cocking his head.
"When did he suddenly become cheery?" asked Paige. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ashley lay on the couch, staring into space as she had been for quite a while. She heard Bret knocking on the door, and decided that she would be kind enough to let him in.
"Hello," said Bret, striding in, quite out of (what Ashley thought) was his own depressed element.
"Why, hello," said Ashley, in mock cheer. Bret turned around.
"Good to see you smile!" he said, laughing. "Ever since Craig left, you..."
"Let's not talk about Craig," said Ashley, switching back into unhappiness.
"Right," said Bret. "I, umm.."
"What?" Ashley said tensely.
"I..." Bret started.
"Well, spit it OUT!" Ashley called.
"I, uhh, might have had something to do with Craig's, uhh, leaving," Bret said softly and meagerly.
"What?" said Ashley, infuriated.
"I, well, that's to say I-"
"YOU WHAT??!?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
"I, well," Bret said. "I told Craig that you and him were to stop going out or I would call the police."
Ashley couldn't speak. She tried very hard to form words, but her mouth wasn't cooperating. All Bret saw was her lips moving, and the gestures she was making that looked an awful lot like Smeagol strangling Degol.
"Get out," she finally managed to growl.
"No," said Bret. "Mark and I will be leaving day after tomorrow for New Zealand, and..."
"You," said Ashley, jabbing her finger at Bret. "You will buy me a first class ticket to New Zealand."
"Right," said Bret, looking for an exit.
"You," she said, still jabbing, "will call my parents at their hotel and tell them that Ashley has gone to stay with Paige in LA."
"R-right," said Bret, starting to get scared.
"You will pay for my hotel while I stay in New Zealand looking for Craig."
"Absolutely," said Bret, terrified.
"And finally," said Ashley, with flourish in her voice, "You will call Craig when we land, and tell him you didn't mean anything you said, and that I am in New Zealand to make amens."
"Ehh," said Bret, starting to falter. Ashley jabbed harder.
"Do you read me LOUD AND CLEAR?" commanded Ashley, using her practice to leer at Bret with such skill that a tear came to his eye.
"Yes, ma'am."
"Good," said Ashley, switching back to her normal mode. She picked up her cell phone to call Paige. She turned to look at Bret, and leered. "DO IT NOW!" she screamed, and he scampered off to his bedroom to call the airlines. After, of course, he cried. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bret scurried out of the apartment to the rental car which he knew would be safe from

Ashley... who knows what she would do to him if he didn't get her tickets now. Mark was

sitting in the passenger seat.

"Hey, mate. Did Ashley kick you out too?" he laughed.

"Shut up!" hissed Bret, dialing on his cell phone as quickly as he could.

And Mark shut up, looking out the window at the other cars parked in the parking lot.

"Hello, I'd like to book an extra ticket to Auckland..." said Bret.

Some indistinctive gibberish was heard on the other line.

"No... it HAS to be first class! My life is on the LINE lady!"

Mark looked over at Bret quizzically.

"Yeah... I'm sure that'll be fine... uh huh... yup... thanks."

Bret hung up.

"What was that all about?" Mark asked.

"Hope you don't mind, mate... Ashley's going to be sitting next to you for the next

20 hours on the way to Auckland."

Mark was obviously thrilled... Ashley... not so much.

Ashley let Mark and Bret back into the apartment after they had both confirmed that she had a ticket. They did not speak the next day, except to exchange a few comments about items to be packed. Bret called Ashley's parents, and the lie was spun. Paige and Kate knew now that Ashley was leaving, and they were both doubtful that she could survive in New Zealand on her own.
Paige and her mother spent the whole day packing, and gave their boxes to the moving people. Paige cried that night in her empty room, thinking about all the memories she had in her house, and how she was leaving all of her friends. She hoped that her new salary would be enough to pay for Kate and Ashley to fly out to LA whenever they wanted- or at least, with the few remaining weeks of summer left, they could fly out to see her once.
Kate calmly asked her parents if they would let her tour with Linkin Park.
"Oh, well.. how many sweaty men would you be sharing a bus with?" asked Kate's mom, skeptically. Eric, Kate's father stepped in.
"Honey, she wouldn't be sharing a bus, would she?" he said, winking at Kate. In their newfound closeness, Kate and Eric only had to wink and they both knew what message was trying to be spun across.
"Fiv- I mean, none. I would have my own bus, with the roadies," said Kate, crossing her fingers behind her back.
"Fine," said her mother, giving in. "Only if you call me everyday."
"Yes, mom," said Kate, embarrassed.
She went upstairs, told Mike the good news, and they started off packing.
Elijah put what little clothing he had back into his suitcase, and cleaned up the room.
This was the best vacation he had ever been on in his whole entire life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paige, Elijah, and her mother were the first to arrive at the airport. They waited by the international terminal (at Paige's insistance) for Ashley, Bret, and Mark. Kate and Mike were catching a plane to Dallas, seeing as Linkin Park's tour would resume there. Paige spotted Kate and Mike as they ambled down the corridor, overloaded with bags.
"Hey," said Kate, a little choked up.
"Hey," said Paige. They looked at each other.
"This is it," she said, laughing. Cynthia and Elijah took their cue and fell into the background. Kate felt a tap on her shoulder, and Ashley appeared.
"Hey," said Kate and Paige, holding back a lot.
"Paige," said Ashley, holding out a wrapped gift. "Open this on the plane. Don't you dare open it before then,"
"Okay," she said, sniffing back tears. "This is so nice of you to give to me."
"It's from both of us," said Kate, chiming in. Paige looked at her watch.
"I really have to go," she said.
"Oh god," said Kate. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry."
"Are you going to get all girly on us?" asked Paige.
She punched Kate lightly in the shoulder. "Please call me when you land," said Kate. "You have my number."
"Yeah," said Paige, afraid to say to much as tears would spill out.
"Paige," started Ashley, voice cracking.
"No, we're not going to do this," said Paige. "We are not going to get all emotional. Kate, Linkin Park is coming to LA in a few weeks, right? So we'll spend time together then, okay?"
"Right," said Kate, also afraid to say too much.
"Ashley, I..."
"We'll see each other," Ashley interrupted strongly. "I know we will." Paige turned around and looked at Elijah and Cynthia, both of whom were making rounds with Bret, Mark, and Mike to say goodbye.
Paige grabbed Kate, and hugged her really tightly. Kate let go, and sobbed.
"No," said Paige. "Don't do that."
"Bye," said Kate. "You are so awesome."
"Bye," said Paige, breaking down. "You are more awesome."
They both laughed. Ashley walked over to Paige, and gave her a big hug.
"Bye," she said. "Don't forget us when you make it big."
"Bye," said Paige. "I won't." She leaned in closer to Ashley. "Be careful," she whispered.
Paige went over to Mike, and shook his hand. "It was a pleasure to meet you."
"And you as well," said Mike.
"Have a nice flight!" said Paige.
"You too." Paige walked over to Bret, and grabbed him into a hug.
"Bye," said Bret. Paige hugged him tighter. Elijah coughed very loudly.
"Right," said Paige, noticing for the first time how menacing Elijah could look. "You take care of yourself. You can always call." Elijah broke into fits of coughing.
"I will," said Bret, looking very unreassuring.
"Bye Mark," said Paige, shaking his hand. Mark pulled Paige into a very big hug. "Right, geroff," said Paige. She took Elijah's hand, and walked down the corridor. She waved as she entered the line for the security checkout, and yelled, "I LOVE YOU!"
"I love you, too!" yelled Kate, Ashley, and Mark. They all turned to stare at him.
"And then there were five," said Mike. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ashley looked at Kate.
"Right, well," said Kate. "I'll see you in a few weeks!"
"Right," said Ashley, a little less sad then when Paige left.
"Take your time, CALL ME!" said Kate smiling.
"Bye," said Ashley, pulling Kate into a quick hug. "See you soon."
"Bye Mike," said Ashley.
"Bye, have a nice flight, nice to meet you," said Mike.
"Nice to meet you, too," said Ashley. She turned around and saw Mike shake Bret and Mark's hands. Kate shook Mark's hand, and then went over to Bret.
"Bye," she said. She turned around.
Bret pulled her quickly in a spin and kissed her on the cheek. Mike, quick as lightning, pulled Kate away and punched Bret very hard in the face.
"FUCK!" yelled Bret, now bleeding from the lip.
"Right," said Ashley, grabbing Bret's hand. "BYE!" she said, speeding forward into the terminal. In a moment, she was just another ant in the busiest airport in the world. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paige sat in her seat, next to Elijah. He was sleeping, and very quietly she pulled out Ashley and Kate's gift. She slowly unwrapped it, as if to savor the paper like chocolate. She let out a small gasp when she saw what was inside.
"Wha is it?" said Elijah, waking with a start.
"It's," Paige said, eyes filling with tears. "It's a book of stories and photographs about us," said Paige. "About Kate, Ashley, and me." She let out a small sob.
Elijah put his arm around Paige.
"I know you'll miss them," said Elijah. "But you guys are good enough friends so that you can see each other."
"Right," said Paige, doubtful. Elijah squeezed Paige hard.
"I'm a pretty good judge of people, and I know you will see each other soon enough." Paige looked at Elijah through slit eyes. "Plus," he said, now whispering, "you have me." He raised his water glass. "To your old life, and new one."
"To LA," said Paige.
"To LA," repeated Elijah. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kate was so sick it was unbearable. The motion sickness alone was killing her.
She leaned over, and barfed right into her baggie. Mike looked up from his magazine, and smiled.
"Ahh, what a beautiful girl," he said.
"Stop mocking me," Kate spat. Mike looked at her with intensity.
"I'm not. I mean it."
When Kate looked up, she saw how much honesty Mike could really hold inside one glance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ashley let the New Zealand sun dance on the seat in front of her. 20 hours with the bozo twins was hard enough, not including the hour cab drive she now had to endure. She put her head on top of the leather seat, and nodded off.
When she woke up, she was sitting on a bench overlooking Auckland. It was beautiful.
"Thought you might like it here," said Mark, in a rare moment of sincerity. Ashley smiled, grateful he knew how to cure jet lag and claustrophobia. Ashley glanced at Bret, who was talking animatedly on a cell phone.
Ashley's heart stopped. A cell phone? There was only one more part of the deal Bret had to fufil.
"Mark," Ashley muttered. "Who is Bret talking to?"
"Craig," he said. He squeezed Ashley's hand. Bret closed the cell phone.
"Ashley?" said Bret, voice soft.
"Yes?" she said standing up.
She shielded her eyes from the sun, and waited for the news that would rip her heat in two.
He would either accept her, and they could go back to the way they were, with fights and love that could make the most stable person go insane.
Or he would reject her, and her whole life would crumble.
Either way, she realized then what people meant when they said, "Love hurts." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The End