Act 1 - TV Asia News?
*Samus, Houston and Ridley are watching the TV in Samus' apartment*
Master Asia: Welcome to TV Asia News, with Master Asia as your
anchorman. And now we will switch to Cooking With
Hardy, so look for me in the audience!
*Samus and Houston look at each other*
S & H: Cooking With Hardy??
Ridley: *points at the TV screen* Look! Hardy's got his own
cooking show!
Samus: I never thought that Keaton would give him one.
Houston: This is gonna be good...
------------------
Hardy: Hi-oh! And we're here to cook with Hardy! That's me, folks.
And today we're going to make a grand turkey dinner!
Audience: Ooooh...
Malfoy: .oO(And I'm going to spoil it for you.)
Hermione: Too bad that Ron couldn't come here.
Harry: His mum wouldn't let him leave the country.
Snape: Be quiet before I start deducting house points...
Majin Buu: *Salivating over Snape* Want fooooooooooooooooooood...
Snape: Would you please sit down and stop slobbering, whoever you
are?
Majin Buu: I'm Majin Buu, you!
------------------
Samus: Is it just me or are half the cameras on the audience?
Houston: Uh...actually those cameras are supposed to be pointing
to Asia.
Samus: Oh.
------------------
Asia: *Prattling about terrorist attacks in Cambodia in
Spanish*
Domon: Master! You're a Spanish news anchor? I thought that you were
Chinese!
Asia: Quiet, Domon! This is a fanfic of utter randomness!
Domon: A what? *Snape grabs Domon by the ear and leads him out of the
audience*
Snape: I am trying to watch this, if you mind...
*Malfoy hexes the turkey to start moving around on its own*
Hardy: And now to put the thermometer inside and stick it-
*Hardy watches the turkey jump and imitate Keaton*
Keaton: OW! Who poked me?!
Hardy: Huh? I didn't know that it was still alive.
Harry: What did Malfoy do this time?
Hermione: I'll fix it. *Uses a counter-curse on the turkey while
Snape returns*
Snape: Caught you! Red-handed hexing food! Fifty points from
Gryffindor!
Hermione: Malfoy's the one who did it! I only used a counter-curse!
Snape: You're still not allowed to use magic outside the school
grounds!
Saturos: Oh? Then watch us do it.
Menardi: *Waits for Hardy to put the turkey in the oven, and then
uses Fireball to overcook it.*
Snape: I didn't see anything.
Menardi: Then you'll see the results right about...*smoke alarms go
off as black smoke starts billowing from the oven*...now!
Hardy: Uh-oh! I had the oven on too high! .oO(But why does it still
say 475 degrees? Must be broken.) *Takes out an uber-charred
turkey and hangs an Out Of Order sign on the oven*
Snape: O_O
Malfoy: Aw! I wanted to mess with the turkey!
Saturos: You kids had your turn already.
Majin Buu: Want turkey...want turkey...want turkey... *walking to the
set to grab the burnt bird*
Kaiba: Hey! Get that Buu off of the set!
Yugi: I can't, I have to hold the camera!
Kaiba: Ugh...then that makes two of us. *Buu eats the turkey*
Hardy: Well, at least someone can appreciate my over-cooking.
Goku: HEY! We were supposed to share that, Buu!
Majin Buu: @#%$@ YOU, MONKEY!!
Goku: Why you! *Goku and Buu start a swearing spree*
Chi-Chi: *covers Great Saiyaman's ears* HEY! STOP THAT! WHAT ABOUT
GOHAN'S FRAGILE MIND?!?! YOU COULD HAVE WARPED HIM FOR LIFE,
YOU IDIOTS!!!!
Saiyaman: *whispers* Mom...I'm old enough to decide what I want for
myself...
Chi-Chi: Is that so?! *glares at Piccolo* Is this garbage that you
put into my little boy's head?!
Piccolo: *backs up slightly* Err...no, ma'am!
Chi-Chi: YOU LIAR! *uses her PMS-powers to turn Super-Chi-Chi 4 and
accidentally blows up Snape*
Nappa: Whoa, remind me not to make her mad...Vegeta? Vegeta?
Roshi: He's offstage with Bulma. I wish I was...*pouts*
Asia: And that concludes tonight's TV Asia News...now we'll just watch
this Jerry Springer-ish cooking show!
Harry: This is too weird...
Hermione: That's what Asia meant by 'utter randomness', Harry.
Domon: Master! There's a couple making out offstage!!!
Asia: ...No comment...
Roshi: Aw, darn. Hey, kid! Tell me all the juicy details! *drools
and laughs*
Domon: I'd rather not.
Malfoy: WHO BLEW UP PROFESSOR SNAPE?! *gets blown up by Chi-Chi*
------------------
Samus: This show is freaky...it's...it's...
Ridley: Comedic gold. *Samus and Houston facefall*
------------------
Stay tuned for Act 2!
*Samus, Houston and Ridley are watching the TV in Samus' apartment*
Master Asia: Welcome to TV Asia News, with Master Asia as your
anchorman. And now we will switch to Cooking With
Hardy, so look for me in the audience!
*Samus and Houston look at each other*
S & H: Cooking With Hardy??
Ridley: *points at the TV screen* Look! Hardy's got his own
cooking show!
Samus: I never thought that Keaton would give him one.
Houston: This is gonna be good...
------------------
Hardy: Hi-oh! And we're here to cook with Hardy! That's me, folks.
And today we're going to make a grand turkey dinner!
Audience: Ooooh...
Malfoy: .oO(And I'm going to spoil it for you.)
Hermione: Too bad that Ron couldn't come here.
Harry: His mum wouldn't let him leave the country.
Snape: Be quiet before I start deducting house points...
Majin Buu: *Salivating over Snape* Want fooooooooooooooooooood...
Snape: Would you please sit down and stop slobbering, whoever you
are?
Majin Buu: I'm Majin Buu, you!
------------------
Samus: Is it just me or are half the cameras on the audience?
Houston: Uh...actually those cameras are supposed to be pointing
to Asia.
Samus: Oh.
------------------
Asia: *Prattling about terrorist attacks in Cambodia in
Spanish*
Domon: Master! You're a Spanish news anchor? I thought that you were
Chinese!
Asia: Quiet, Domon! This is a fanfic of utter randomness!
Domon: A what? *Snape grabs Domon by the ear and leads him out of the
audience*
Snape: I am trying to watch this, if you mind...
*Malfoy hexes the turkey to start moving around on its own*
Hardy: And now to put the thermometer inside and stick it-
*Hardy watches the turkey jump and imitate Keaton*
Keaton: OW! Who poked me?!
Hardy: Huh? I didn't know that it was still alive.
Harry: What did Malfoy do this time?
Hermione: I'll fix it. *Uses a counter-curse on the turkey while
Snape returns*
Snape: Caught you! Red-handed hexing food! Fifty points from
Gryffindor!
Hermione: Malfoy's the one who did it! I only used a counter-curse!
Snape: You're still not allowed to use magic outside the school
grounds!
Saturos: Oh? Then watch us do it.
Menardi: *Waits for Hardy to put the turkey in the oven, and then
uses Fireball to overcook it.*
Snape: I didn't see anything.
Menardi: Then you'll see the results right about...*smoke alarms go
off as black smoke starts billowing from the oven*...now!
Hardy: Uh-oh! I had the oven on too high! .oO(But why does it still
say 475 degrees? Must be broken.) *Takes out an uber-charred
turkey and hangs an Out Of Order sign on the oven*
Snape: O_O
Malfoy: Aw! I wanted to mess with the turkey!
Saturos: You kids had your turn already.
Majin Buu: Want turkey...want turkey...want turkey... *walking to the
set to grab the burnt bird*
Kaiba: Hey! Get that Buu off of the set!
Yugi: I can't, I have to hold the camera!
Kaiba: Ugh...then that makes two of us. *Buu eats the turkey*
Hardy: Well, at least someone can appreciate my over-cooking.
Goku: HEY! We were supposed to share that, Buu!
Majin Buu: @#%$@ YOU, MONKEY!!
Goku: Why you! *Goku and Buu start a swearing spree*
Chi-Chi: *covers Great Saiyaman's ears* HEY! STOP THAT! WHAT ABOUT
GOHAN'S FRAGILE MIND?!?! YOU COULD HAVE WARPED HIM FOR LIFE,
YOU IDIOTS!!!!
Saiyaman: *whispers* Mom...I'm old enough to decide what I want for
myself...
Chi-Chi: Is that so?! *glares at Piccolo* Is this garbage that you
put into my little boy's head?!
Piccolo: *backs up slightly* Err...no, ma'am!
Chi-Chi: YOU LIAR! *uses her PMS-powers to turn Super-Chi-Chi 4 and
accidentally blows up Snape*
Nappa: Whoa, remind me not to make her mad...Vegeta? Vegeta?
Roshi: He's offstage with Bulma. I wish I was...*pouts*
Asia: And that concludes tonight's TV Asia News...now we'll just watch
this Jerry Springer-ish cooking show!
Harry: This is too weird...
Hermione: That's what Asia meant by 'utter randomness', Harry.
Domon: Master! There's a couple making out offstage!!!
Asia: ...No comment...
Roshi: Aw, darn. Hey, kid! Tell me all the juicy details! *drools
and laughs*
Domon: I'd rather not.
Malfoy: WHO BLEW UP PROFESSOR SNAPE?! *gets blown up by Chi-Chi*
------------------
Samus: This show is freaky...it's...it's...
Ridley: Comedic gold. *Samus and Houston facefall*
------------------
Stay tuned for Act 2!
