Episode 2, Act 1: Tèa Does The Impossible
Hardy: Alright, today's show I'm going to make blah-blah-blah...
Harry: Let's hope nothing goes wrong today.
Hermione: I hope so too. Wait, what's that?
*a small ghost-like image of Viktor Krum on a waterbed mattress floats
around the audience*
Viktor: Vaaaterbehd...vaaaterbehd...
Umbridge: Hem-hem. Is this the 'Cooking With Hardy' studio?
Hardy: Yes, why?
Umbridge: I am Dolores Jane Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister
of Magic of England, Cornelius Fudge.
Hardy: .oO(Fudge? I like fudge...I'm going to make some chocolate for today.)
Sigma: *fart*
Umbridge: Hem-hem! Apparently something I said distracted you. The Ministry
of Magic wants to know if there are any wizards and/or witches in the
audience.
Snape: There are...why?
Umbridge: Oh! Is it just you and three students? I've read your paperwork,
but what I am asking about is...is...You-Know-Who.
*doors burst open and a dorky voice says*: TA-DA!
Umbridge: AAAGH! It's You-Know-Who, the talking box!
Hermione: *laughs*
Sigma: Uh...that's just Mike the TV...MIKE THE TV?!?! *fart*
*everybody panicks*
----------------------
Samus: What's so wrong about a TV?
Houston: It's a walking, talking TV that only shows commercials and bad soap
operas...and can't be turned off.
Ridley: *screams like Kevin McCallister*
Samus: Why can't it be turned off?
Houston: The remote ran away.
Samus: o_O Great...so the remote walks, too.
TV/Mike the TV: Iiit slices, dices, cuts-copies-pastes, and even formats
julienned fries! But wait, act now, and we'll port you the handy Log-o-Matic
absolutely free, for only 99.99.99!
Samus: *gets up* Alright, I've decided. Houston, we're going to look for
that remote!
Ridley: What about me?
Samus: Ah, go screw Shuiichi.
Ridley: Okay! *grabs some of his Gravitation manga and runs away*
-------------------------
Goku: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Super Chi-Chi 4: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! *blows up Hardy and Umbridge
instead of Mike the TV*
Sigma: *faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaart!*
Mike the TV: *in Austin Powers outfit* Aaaaaaaaaaah!
Fat Bastard: *running toward the audience* Aaaaaaaah!
MtTV: Aaaaah!
Sumos in Audience: *looking at Mike the TV* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Fat Bastard: Yaaaah!
MtTV: Aaaah!
Sumos: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Fat Bastard: Yaaah! *gets lifted by his wire-fighting team* AaaAAAaaaAAA-
AAAAAAAAAAA-*doink!*
Harry: Oh, crikey.
Fat Bastard: OH great...iiiiiisn't this mahgical...one of me wires broke.
Malfoy: I'll show him what's magical. *hexes him to fart like Sigma*
Fat Bastard: *prrrrrrrt.*
Harry: Did he just soil himself?
Mike the TV: *impersonates FB* Mebbe. Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh...
Viktor: *floating around Umbridge's head* Vaaatermelon...Vaaatermelon...
*Umbridge's head turns into a watermelon...a giant watermelon.*
Yugi: ...Uh...Kaiba...?
Kaiba: No more...no more...nos0=sdfklreioidovva;kdjfslkafaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-
Joey: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Kaiba's gettin' scrambled and lagged!!
Kaibabyte: I am become Kaibabyte...destroyer of watermelons!
Umbridge: *head explodes*
Tèa: *clouts Kaiba with a big magnet* That should fix you!
--------------------------
Samus: Hey, Houston! I got it! *holding a remote that has legs*
Houston: Great! Now let's get this to Hardy.
Ridley: Shuuuiichiiiii...
Samus: o_O Right...I didn't know that Ridley liked yaoi.
Houston: That's scary. Let's go.
-------------------------
Samus: *and Houston arrive on the set* Good Gods. It looks so different
on TV.
Houston: You'd think that Kefka did all this.
Kefka: *In Lurch's voice* You rang?
Samus: No, we didn't. Hey! *the remote runs away towards the kitchen*
-------------------------
Tèa: Hey! What's that? *picks up the remote, aims it at Mike the TV,
pushing the power button*
Mike the TV: *turns off*
Audience: ...Is it over?
Kaiba: Ooh...what happened?
Joey: Now it's my toin ta say it!
Yugi: Say what?
Joey: Leave it ta Tèa ta do tha impossible! ^_^
Tèa: Yeah! *dies*
Joey: AAGH! Anothuh Tèa clone?!
Sigma: Mwee, hee, hee...*fart*
-------------------------
*Back at the Bat-Cave...er...Samus' apartment, yeah! Samus' apartment!*
Bruce Wayne: Hmm...Hey! You're not supposed to reveal my secret identity!
Katri: Okay...okay...*scratches it out*
Batman: I will never see a stranger world-wide broadcast than that.
The Joker: Ooooh...not even me, Uncle J, could think of such comedic
brilliance! That dragon's a GENIUS!
Katri: No, I am not. I'm insane. More insane that you.
The Joker: No one is more insane than me!! *laughs insanely...and farts!*
Ooh. Didn't expect that. HA!
Katri: I am Author...hear me give the absolute commandment: I AM MORE INSANE
THAN THE JOKER!!! *laughs like Dr. Evil, to the Dr. Evil Theme!*
The Joker: Oh, shut your gob. *throws a cupcake at Katri*
Katri: *eats the cupcake* Yum. An-ny-way! Goodbye, everybody! Until
the next Act!
Ridley: Shuuuuiichiiiiiii...
Katri: Yaoiiiiii....*drools*
Hardy: Alright, today's show I'm going to make blah-blah-blah...
Harry: Let's hope nothing goes wrong today.
Hermione: I hope so too. Wait, what's that?
*a small ghost-like image of Viktor Krum on a waterbed mattress floats
around the audience*
Viktor: Vaaaterbehd...vaaaterbehd...
Umbridge: Hem-hem. Is this the 'Cooking With Hardy' studio?
Hardy: Yes, why?
Umbridge: I am Dolores Jane Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister
of Magic of England, Cornelius Fudge.
Hardy: .oO(Fudge? I like fudge...I'm going to make some chocolate for today.)
Sigma: *fart*
Umbridge: Hem-hem! Apparently something I said distracted you. The Ministry
of Magic wants to know if there are any wizards and/or witches in the
audience.
Snape: There are...why?
Umbridge: Oh! Is it just you and three students? I've read your paperwork,
but what I am asking about is...is...You-Know-Who.
*doors burst open and a dorky voice says*: TA-DA!
Umbridge: AAAGH! It's You-Know-Who, the talking box!
Hermione: *laughs*
Sigma: Uh...that's just Mike the TV...MIKE THE TV?!?! *fart*
*everybody panicks*
----------------------
Samus: What's so wrong about a TV?
Houston: It's a walking, talking TV that only shows commercials and bad soap
operas...and can't be turned off.
Ridley: *screams like Kevin McCallister*
Samus: Why can't it be turned off?
Houston: The remote ran away.
Samus: o_O Great...so the remote walks, too.
TV/Mike the TV: Iiit slices, dices, cuts-copies-pastes, and even formats
julienned fries! But wait, act now, and we'll port you the handy Log-o-Matic
absolutely free, for only 99.99.99!
Samus: *gets up* Alright, I've decided. Houston, we're going to look for
that remote!
Ridley: What about me?
Samus: Ah, go screw Shuiichi.
Ridley: Okay! *grabs some of his Gravitation manga and runs away*
-------------------------
Goku: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Super Chi-Chi 4: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! *blows up Hardy and Umbridge
instead of Mike the TV*
Sigma: *faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaart!*
Mike the TV: *in Austin Powers outfit* Aaaaaaaaaaah!
Fat Bastard: *running toward the audience* Aaaaaaaah!
MtTV: Aaaaah!
Sumos in Audience: *looking at Mike the TV* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Fat Bastard: Yaaaah!
MtTV: Aaaah!
Sumos: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Fat Bastard: Yaaah! *gets lifted by his wire-fighting team* AaaAAAaaaAAA-
AAAAAAAAAAA-*doink!*
Harry: Oh, crikey.
Fat Bastard: OH great...iiiiiisn't this mahgical...one of me wires broke.
Malfoy: I'll show him what's magical. *hexes him to fart like Sigma*
Fat Bastard: *prrrrrrrt.*
Harry: Did he just soil himself?
Mike the TV: *impersonates FB* Mebbe. Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh...
Viktor: *floating around Umbridge's head* Vaaatermelon...Vaaatermelon...
*Umbridge's head turns into a watermelon...a giant watermelon.*
Yugi: ...Uh...Kaiba...?
Kaiba: No more...no more...nos0=sdfklreioidovva;kdjfslkafaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-
Joey: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Kaiba's gettin' scrambled and lagged!!
Kaibabyte: I am become Kaibabyte...destroyer of watermelons!
Umbridge: *head explodes*
Tèa: *clouts Kaiba with a big magnet* That should fix you!
--------------------------
Samus: Hey, Houston! I got it! *holding a remote that has legs*
Houston: Great! Now let's get this to Hardy.
Ridley: Shuuuiichiiiii...
Samus: o_O Right...I didn't know that Ridley liked yaoi.
Houston: That's scary. Let's go.
-------------------------
Samus: *and Houston arrive on the set* Good Gods. It looks so different
on TV.
Houston: You'd think that Kefka did all this.
Kefka: *In Lurch's voice* You rang?
Samus: No, we didn't. Hey! *the remote runs away towards the kitchen*
-------------------------
Tèa: Hey! What's that? *picks up the remote, aims it at Mike the TV,
pushing the power button*
Mike the TV: *turns off*
Audience: ...Is it over?
Kaiba: Ooh...what happened?
Joey: Now it's my toin ta say it!
Yugi: Say what?
Joey: Leave it ta Tèa ta do tha impossible! ^_^
Tèa: Yeah! *dies*
Joey: AAGH! Anothuh Tèa clone?!
Sigma: Mwee, hee, hee...*fart*
-------------------------
*Back at the Bat-Cave...er...Samus' apartment, yeah! Samus' apartment!*
Bruce Wayne: Hmm...Hey! You're not supposed to reveal my secret identity!
Katri: Okay...okay...*scratches it out*
Batman: I will never see a stranger world-wide broadcast than that.
The Joker: Ooooh...not even me, Uncle J, could think of such comedic
brilliance! That dragon's a GENIUS!
Katri: No, I am not. I'm insane. More insane that you.
The Joker: No one is more insane than me!! *laughs insanely...and farts!*
Ooh. Didn't expect that. HA!
Katri: I am Author...hear me give the absolute commandment: I AM MORE INSANE
THAN THE JOKER!!! *laughs like Dr. Evil, to the Dr. Evil Theme!*
The Joker: Oh, shut your gob. *throws a cupcake at Katri*
Katri: *eats the cupcake* Yum. An-ny-way! Goodbye, everybody! Until
the next Act!
Ridley: Shuuuuiichiiiiiii...
Katri: Yaoiiiiii....*drools*
