Episode 2, Act 1: Tèa Does The Impossible

Hardy: Alright, today's show I'm going to make blah-blah-blah...

Harry: Let's hope nothing goes wrong today.

Hermione: I hope so too. Wait, what's that?

*a small ghost-like image of Viktor Krum on a waterbed mattress floats

around the audience*

Viktor: Vaaaterbehd...vaaaterbehd...

Umbridge: Hem-hem. Is this the 'Cooking With Hardy' studio?

Hardy: Yes, why?

Umbridge: I am Dolores Jane Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister

of Magic of England, Cornelius Fudge.

Hardy: .oO(Fudge? I like fudge...I'm going to make some chocolate for today.)

Sigma: *fart*

Umbridge: Hem-hem! Apparently something I said distracted you. The Ministry

of Magic wants to know if there are any wizards and/or witches in the

audience.

Snape: There are...why?

Umbridge: Oh! Is it just you and three students? I've read your paperwork,

but what I am asking about is...is...You-Know-Who.

*doors burst open and a dorky voice says*: TA-DA!

Umbridge: AAAGH! It's You-Know-Who, the talking box!

Hermione: *laughs*

Sigma: Uh...that's just Mike the TV...MIKE THE TV?!?! *fart*

*everybody panicks*

----------------------

Samus: What's so wrong about a TV?

Houston: It's a walking, talking TV that only shows commercials and bad soap

operas...and can't be turned off.

Ridley: *screams like Kevin McCallister*

Samus: Why can't it be turned off?

Houston: The remote ran away.

Samus: o_O Great...so the remote walks, too.

TV/Mike the TV: Iiit slices, dices, cuts-copies-pastes, and even formats

julienned fries! But wait, act now, and we'll port you the handy Log-o-Matic

absolutely free, for only 99.99.99!

Samus: *gets up* Alright, I've decided. Houston, we're going to look for

that remote!

Ridley: What about me?

Samus: Ah, go screw Shuiichi.

Ridley: Okay! *grabs some of his Gravitation manga and runs away*

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Goku: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Super Chi-Chi 4: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! *blows up Hardy and Umbridge

instead of Mike the TV*

Sigma: *faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaart!*

Mike the TV: *in Austin Powers outfit* Aaaaaaaaaaah!

Fat Bastard: *running toward the audience* Aaaaaaaah!

MtTV: Aaaaah!

Sumos in Audience: *looking at Mike the TV* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Fat Bastard: Yaaaah!

MtTV: Aaaah!

Sumos: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Fat Bastard: Yaaah! *gets lifted by his wire-fighting team* AaaAAAaaaAAA-

AAAAAAAAAAA-*doink!*

Harry: Oh, crikey.

Fat Bastard: OH great...iiiiiisn't this mahgical...one of me wires broke.

Malfoy: I'll show him what's magical. *hexes him to fart like Sigma*

Fat Bastard: *prrrrrrrt.*

Harry: Did he just soil himself?

Mike the TV: *impersonates FB* Mebbe. Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh...

Viktor: *floating around Umbridge's head* Vaaatermelon...Vaaatermelon...

*Umbridge's head turns into a watermelon...a giant watermelon.*

Yugi: ...Uh...Kaiba...?

Kaiba: No more...no more...nos0=sdfklreioidovva;kdjfslkafaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-

Joey: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Kaiba's gettin' scrambled and lagged!!

Kaibabyte: I am become Kaibabyte...destroyer of watermelons!

Umbridge: *head explodes*

Tèa: *clouts Kaiba with a big magnet* That should fix you!

--------------------------

Samus: Hey, Houston! I got it! *holding a remote that has legs*

Houston: Great! Now let's get this to Hardy.

Ridley: Shuuuiichiiiii...

Samus: o_O Right...I didn't know that Ridley liked yaoi.

Houston: That's scary. Let's go.

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Samus: *and Houston arrive on the set* Good Gods. It looks so different

on TV.

Houston: You'd think that Kefka did all this.

Kefka: *In Lurch's voice* You rang?

Samus: No, we didn't. Hey! *the remote runs away towards the kitchen*

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Tèa: Hey! What's that? *picks up the remote, aims it at Mike the TV,

pushing the power button*

Mike the TV: *turns off*

Audience: ...Is it over?

Kaiba: Ooh...what happened?

Joey: Now it's my toin ta say it!

Yugi: Say what?

Joey: Leave it ta Tèa ta do tha impossible! ^_^

Tèa: Yeah! *dies*

Joey: AAGH! Anothuh Tèa clone?!

Sigma: Mwee, hee, hee...*fart*

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*Back at the Bat-Cave...er...Samus' apartment, yeah! Samus' apartment!*

Bruce Wayne: Hmm...Hey! You're not supposed to reveal my secret identity!

Katri: Okay...okay...*scratches it out*

Batman: I will never see a stranger world-wide broadcast than that.

The Joker: Ooooh...not even me, Uncle J, could think of such comedic

brilliance! That dragon's a GENIUS!

Katri: No, I am not. I'm insane. More insane that you.

The Joker: No one is more insane than me!! *laughs insanely...and farts!*

Ooh. Didn't expect that. HA!

Katri: I am Author...hear me give the absolute commandment: I AM MORE INSANE

THAN THE JOKER!!! *laughs like Dr. Evil, to the Dr. Evil Theme!*

The Joker: Oh, shut your gob. *throws a cupcake at Katri*

Katri: *eats the cupcake* Yum. An-ny-way! Goodbye, everybody! Until

the next Act!

Ridley: Shuuuuiichiiiiiii...

Katri: Yaoiiiiii....*drools*