Mother Dear
A/N: Read and REVIEW please!! The italics is a flashback.
DISCLAIMER: Clearly I'm not in charge or Carby would still be an item and I'd be writing the show not fanfictions. Basically, anything you recognize, I don't own.
~*~
Abby was just getting ready to leave the hospital. She erased her name from the board, signed out at the nurses' station and headed towards the lounge to pick up her bag and coat.
He was sitting at the table reading the paper and drinking a cup of coffee. He looked up. He was staring at her, his eyes searching her face curiously. She looked at her hands and headed towards her locker. His steady gaze was making her uncomfortable. He had changed so much.
"Going home?" his words added to her discomfort.
"Yeah," she sighed pulling her gloves on and picking her bag off the bottom of her locker. She didn't know whether he had anything else to say or not, so she just stood there, hesitantly. It seemed weird that he would start a conversation and then just drop it so suddenly. Hadn't they been joking mere hours ago? That was different though, she knew. They had to joke; they couldn't talk to each other otherwise. They couldn't get through to each other on a deeper level than that.
"So…" she stated. If it sounded stupid in her head, it sounded even stupider to her as she said it. She flinched mentally at the awkwardness of her tone. He lifted his head to gaze at her again, his expression serene, and the look in his eyes sending chills down her spine.
"Hm?" It was as if he had never said anything. She was right, he had changed. He had once been so easy to talk to. And now, when she needed to talk to him more than ever, he was impossible to get through to.
"Abby," he started again, "when I said we should be amiable… I mean, I hope you didn't think I meant that things were suddenly okay between us." She looked back at him, and his icy gaze stabbed into her.
"I know," she whispered. But I need to talk to you, she thought, I need you to understand.
She pulled a picture out of her pocket and held it in her hands, staring down at it lovingly. He needed to know.
Abby walked briskly out of the lounge, dropping the picture onto Carter's newspaper. She didn't wait for his reaction before exiting through the ambulance bay and hastening her pace on her way to her daughter's school.
~*~
Abby folded the little outfits slowly, gazing lovingly at them before putting them into the drawers. The rest of their furniture had finally arrived. Ashley was drawing pictures in the other room as Abby unpacked her clothes. She was unpacking Ashley first in hope that having her room set up like it had been in New York would make the little girl less homesick. When she put the final pair of shorts into the bottom drawer, she lifted herself off the floor and looked around. Not bad considering how hasty the unpacking had been. She'd tidy it up later when she had time, maybe on her day off. She smoothed the comforter on the bed with one hand and picked up the empty cup from the nightstand before heading to the kitchen to check on Ashley.
"How's it going?" She asked as she put the glass into the sink, vowing to herself that she would wash the dished when she had a chance.
"It's okay."
"What are you drawing?"
"We have to draw a picture of our family for school." Abby leaned over her daughter's shoulder.
"Who are all these people?" she asked quietly. The picture had four people in it; the two on the left were considerably larger than the other two. Abby assumed that one of them was herself. The child all the way on the right (Ashley had labeled it 'me') was petting a small animal that looked like a sheep.
"Well," said Ashley, "this is you, Mommy, and this is Daddy and this is my older sister, Serena and this is our puppy, Star."
"But Ashley, honey," replied Abby, taking a seat next to her daughter, "we don't have a dog, and you don't have a sister or-" Abby choked up before regaining her composure, "or a father," she concluded.
Ashley looked at Abby sadly, "but Mommy," she said finally, "all the other kids do."
Abby put an arm around her daughter's small shoulder and gave her a small hug. She wasn't going to make Ashley change the picture if Ashley didn't want to. She didn't want Ashley to feel out of place at school, even though she knew how vicious little kids could be to outsiders.
"Ashley, it's a lovely picture," she said finally, "finish up quickly, though. It's getting late." The little girl nodded and returned to her handiwork and Abby started to wash the stack of dirty dishes, her stomach churning with guilt.
~*~
Next morning, Abby woke up bright and early. She had slept well for the first time in a few nights, she couldn't understand why though. She had so much on her mind.
She heard the little girl in the next room humming quietly to herself and Abby smiled to herself before pulling herself out of bed, turning off the alarm clock and padding to the bathroom to get ready for work.
~*~
Susan was just stepping out of a car when Abby walked up the door of the hospital. She waited for Susan to reach her and they entered the ER together.
"Abby, what are your plans for the weekend?" asked Susan.
"I have a shift on Sunday," she answered; she still didn't know what she was going to do with Ashley. Surely, she could bring her to the hospital.
"What about Saturday?"
"Some much needed sleep and hopefully I'll get some more unpacking done."
"I forgot to ask you yesterday, so I'll ask you now. How would you like to get together Saturday lunch? We could go out, or you could come to my place. You know, catch up on old times." Abby smiled, but shook her head.
"I don't think that's a good idea," she responded.
"Oh, come on, Abby, you're daughter must be what? Three? Four? She could play with Neil…. Don't worry, he's all better now." Abby smiled, but she didn't know whether to agree or not. Susan raised her eyebrows.
"So, is that a yes?"
Abby nodded after a few seconds' pause. She couldn't hide forever.
"I'd love to."
"Okay, great, I'll just write down my number and we could meet at the McDonald's at 1500th, you know the one I mean…"
Abby was only partially listening. Her attention had shifted to the figure that had just entered through triage.
Carter.
Had he seen the picture she gave him yesterday? Did he know what it meant? He didn't look at her though she was sure he knew she was there.
***
Abby picked the picture out of her locker. She looked at the little girl smiling back at her. On the back, the school had typed, "Ashley Carter, Kindergarten, Sunshine Elementary School." She played with the idea of what to do with it. She had, of course, brought it for him. But what would his reaction be? Finally, she decided to leave or she would be late picking her daughter up. She dropped the picture on top of his Newspaper before hastily leaving the lounge.
***
"Abby, are you listening?" asked Susan.
"What? Oh, yeah, sorry, I'm just tired, you know how it is." Susan handed her a piece of paper on which she had scrawled the place and time for Sunday's lunch.
Abby watched Carter enter the lounge. Her heart was pounding much faster than usual.
REVIEW please!!! Tell me if you think that was really stupid, thanks.
