Mother Dear

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed!! I love hearing what you all think of my story because I'm very self-conscious of my writing.  Everyone else: Please REVIEW!!!! (I'm sorry if it's moving slowly, I'm trying to get all the background info over with and it's taking longer than expected.)

DISCLAIMER: Anything you have heard of, I don't own. I probably don't own it even if you haven't heard of it.

~*~

Abby spent much of the morning worrying.  Bennings was in a fierce mood and she was down Abby's back for not paying attention.  Abby skirted away quickly from the trauma room after Bennings had to call in another nurse when Abby was being 'appallingly incompetent'. 

"I'm taking a break," she told Brian at admit. before heading toward the lounge to make a cup of coffee.

"Just great," she muttered to herself noticing the little piece of paper someone had taped to the coffee maker that read: Out of Order.  She slumped down on the couch and wiped her hands over her face, sighing.

He was clearly avoiding her again, not that she had any objections as she wasn't in the mood of dealing with it right now.  In fact, she was yelling at herself inwardly for having shown him the picture at all.

The door to the lounge swung open and Neela walked in, her face pink from the cold air outside.

"Good morning, Abby," she greeted happily as she packed her things away in her locker.

"God is it still morning?" moaned Abby tugging at her pony-tail.

"That bad, huh?" asked Neela as she looked at her watch, "Well, I've got a few minutes, want to talk?" She sat down next to Abby and waited expectantly.

"Not really," muttered Abby.  "There's not much to say.  I just moved back here, I haven't unpacked, I'm scared I screwed up my daughter's life terminally-" Neela chuckled.

"What?!" exclaimed Abby.

"It's just… well, you, Abby.  If I know you at all, and I do after spending nearly a year of medical rotations together, you'll pull through."  Abby smiled back at her uncertainly. Neela got up again and headed toward the door of the lounge.

"By the way," Abby interjected, "I never asked who the father man is."  Neela cracked a grin,

"Gallant," she said happily to a flabbergasted Abby.

"But, I haven't seen him… What?" 

"Well, he practices pediatric oncology now, so he's over at Northwestern," Neela explained.  Abby smiled.

"Congratulations," she said.

~*~

She was just standing up to return to work when Carter stormed in to the lounge.  Abby groaned inwardly and quickened her pace to the door.

"Abby," Carter began, "is this some sick joke?  Because if it is- I thought, I thought your apology was sincere, or was that just another part of this whole show you have going on?" His voice was fierce and his body was nearly shaking with anger.

"What?!" she asked harshly.

"This!" Carter thrust the picture into her hands.  It was tattered at the edged and it was obvious he had looked at it many time since yesterday.

"A joke?" whispered Abby despairingly, "you think it's- you think it's a joke?" Carter looked at her and his anger melted slightly into remorse. 

"I don't know what to think anymore, Abby.  You just flounce back in here after seven year… SEVEN YEARS, Abby… and then you throw that at me!" he pointed at the picture, his anger flaring again, "and now- what do you expect me to think Abby?!!" he spat at her.

"Carter… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you.  I'm-"

"Shouldn't have told me??!" Carter raged as the truth of the photo dawned on him, "What? Were you going to wait until she's twenty?  'Oh, hi, John, I forgot to tell you I've been hiding your daughter from you for twenty years!"

"Carter-!"

"Don't. Call. Me. That." He screamed.  Abby stared at him, the tears welling up in her eyes.  She had never seen him like this before.  Never. 

"John.  I'm- I don't- I'm sorry."  She said softly, a tear trickling down her cheek. 

"Well, sorry isn't good enough, Abby," he stated angrily, though he calmed down somewhat when he saw her crying.

"John… you- you were with Kem.  I couldn't tell you.  I didn't know what to do."

"So you left?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes, John, I left," she answered, "I left because I didn't want to be hurt and I didn't want you daughter to be hurt."  He flinched when she said, 'you daughter'.

"Yes, Carter," she said, her own anger flaring out at him, "Your daughter.  You have a daughter.  And look at her," she shoved the picture in Carter's face, "just- just look at her."  Carter gazed down at the photo and a tear soiled the corner of it.  Abby looked at his face and realized for the first time that he was crying.

"She's beautiful," he said finally, his voice deflated.

"Yeah," said Abby after a moment, "she is.  And she's smart and sweet and kind and she's hurting inside because she doesn't know who her father is."  Carter looked at her, his face unreadable.

"Abby-" he said, his voice strained, "can I see her?" Abby shook her head.

"Not now, Carter.  It's too soon." He nodded sadly and looked at her again.

"Can I have this?" He asked gesturing towards the photo. Abby nodded, another tear trickling down her face.

"It's a year old, though.  Now she's lost her two bottom teeth and her cheeks aren't that pudgy and her hair is down to here," she showed him on her own body and Carter's eyes rested on the point just below Abby's shoulder that she was pointing at.

"Just a second," said Abby pulling out her purse, "I have a more recent picture." She handed him a photo of Ashley and Abby eating ice cream at a mall.  Carter stared at it and Abby looked around the room uncomfortably.

"I have a shift to finish," she whispered and she left the lounge.

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