by: darkestbeforedawn
disclaimor: inuyasha does not belogn to me... though i wish i did. *sobs*
summary: if the circumstances were different, if there was no inuyasha... just what if...? could it, would it, it be different? [hinted naraku/kikyou]
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//"Kikyou-sama! Kikyou-sama!"//
I could recall that day so very clear in my head, it was if it had happened just a few moments before, just before...
It was a fine spring day. The villagers were tending to their fields, the children frolicking in the streets, and I, performing my duties as the esteemed miko. Everyday seemed so alive to me, the greens of the grass, the yellows of the sun, the smiles of the people around me. Everything was so _alive_.
And then you showed up.
You, in your raggedy torn clothing, obviously one that has not received a good meal in days. Bruises so grotesque in form that even a starving wolf would run away in fear. And your face, hidden away by that splash of raven hair, skin so sickly and pale. Villagers had formed around in a circle, too afraid to move you, but yet also too awed to move.
//"Burnt marks, Kikyou-sama. Must be one of the survivors from the village over, they had a terrible fire set loose last night."//
//"Youkai attacks."//
I was so used to living in this beautiful colorful world, one where there was no such thing as plague, no such thing as disease and death. And then I saw you, covered in dirt and filth, face scarred so horrifically, that I couldn't help but shed tears in just the sight of you. 'How could something like this happen?', I thought. 'No one deserves this'.
So I brought you to a cave not far from here, and tended to you. You were certainly alive, very much so, because you hissed when I began wiping your wounds with water. I saw dull brown eyes widen in realization, fists clenching from discomfort. I wiped gentler this time, across your forehead, your eyes following mine.
This became a routine for the following next weeks or so. But you wouldn't talk to me, not a word from your mouth, just those same mahogany eyes trailing never far from me. I got used to this, and began talking to you instead, hoping to get some sort of a response from you. I could sometimes see your eyes sparkle with amusement when I told a joke, or sadden when I mentioned that I had buried one of the village children's pets. Or when I told you about my former lover, and your eyes glazed with something I couldn't identify, something I've never seen before on you. But it could also be my imagination, because it would only be for that second that I see those eyes shimmer.
Would it have been different if Inuyasha hadn't showed up? Would you still have been consumed by the darkness, corrupted beyond belief? Would I have understood, perhaps cared for you till I died, and not live to regret doing so? Would _anything_ be different?
When I questioned you, you didn't answer. Only stared at me with those demon eyes of yours.
I know it's too late now, to reconsider or regret anything or everything I've done. Not because I do regret, but because I don't, and because I wouldn't be able to change it even if I could.
But I had wanted you to ask me, "Would it have been different?"
Yes, yes it would.
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