Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, I really do appreciate it! Here's the
third chapter, like I said on sd-1 I hope it's not too repetitive but I
promise you the next one moves the story on a bit more so don't give up
Chapter Three
Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me
- Loreena McKennitt 'Dante's Prayer'
This was your mothers cell. You wonder if all of this is just one big joke the universe is playing on you and soon everyone will jump out and yell "surprise" and you'll all laugh and everything will be fine again.
You're not entirely sure what happened between the safe house and here. You vaguely recall a far away voice talking to you about going back home, which was a joke in itself as you don't think you even have a home any more, and a journey on an aeroplane with the man who turned from your closest ally to a complete stranger in a matter of seconds. You think he tried to talk to you but you can't be certain. You're sure you didn't answer, too far gone in your own world where harsh reality couldn't hurt you because you were numb to everything.
But now you're here and reality sets in again. You're all alone in this glass cell while they try and work out if you're really who you say you are. You wish you weren't, you wish you were someone else, perhaps a happily married office nobody with 2.4 children and a husband who listened patiently as you complained about how boring your job was then kissed you and reminded you why it was all worth it.
A noise startles you out of your thinking and you see your father enter your cell with a look of amazement, wonder and something else on his face. But you don't stop to try and define it because your daddy is here and you throw yourself in his arms crying and hoping things will now be all right because there's still that little girl inside of you who knows that daddy is the biggest, strongest and most amazing man in the whole world who can do absolutely anything and make everything better.
You stay like that for who knows how long and when you pull apart you realise it's not only your face that's streaked with tears. The stone cold Jack Bristow is crying.
You remember the last time you saw him crying. You were six years old and he had just told you Mommy wasn't coming home again.
For a while you and he just stand there in silence, neither wanting to break the spell that has fallen over you both. Eventually he speaks, you reply and it's like nothing's changed. He asks you about what happened and you tell him you don't know. You ask him about what's happened and unlike your replies he can actually tell you. He tells you about Marshall and Carrie, about Dixon, about Will, even about Kendall. You know he's purposely avoiding the subject of Vaughn, so you ask him outright. After a pause he tells you. He tells you about the drinking and the depression, about when he left the CIA, about when he met Lauren.
You start to think maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe you didn't want to know. Not yet at least, not while the pain is still so raw and your heart so broken. Your father obviously picks up on this and tries to reassure you that it will get better and you'll get over him.
Get over him??
Without him you are nothing. Why can nobody understand that? You love him more than life itself and now you don't have him any more you don't see any point in going on because you've lost the only thing that matters. You can't do this, not again. Having your heart torn out once was bad enough but you can't go through that pain again. And especially not when he's still alive and you know there's someone else who means the world to him when he's everything to you. It was always him, his smile, his voice, his touch. The way he looked at you like you were the most beautiful woman in the world and you couldn't believe that someone as wonderful as him would want to be with you but he did and he gave you so much love you felt you might burst.
But he's not yours any more. And he will never look at you like that again.
Chapter Three
Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me
- Loreena McKennitt 'Dante's Prayer'
This was your mothers cell. You wonder if all of this is just one big joke the universe is playing on you and soon everyone will jump out and yell "surprise" and you'll all laugh and everything will be fine again.
You're not entirely sure what happened between the safe house and here. You vaguely recall a far away voice talking to you about going back home, which was a joke in itself as you don't think you even have a home any more, and a journey on an aeroplane with the man who turned from your closest ally to a complete stranger in a matter of seconds. You think he tried to talk to you but you can't be certain. You're sure you didn't answer, too far gone in your own world where harsh reality couldn't hurt you because you were numb to everything.
But now you're here and reality sets in again. You're all alone in this glass cell while they try and work out if you're really who you say you are. You wish you weren't, you wish you were someone else, perhaps a happily married office nobody with 2.4 children and a husband who listened patiently as you complained about how boring your job was then kissed you and reminded you why it was all worth it.
A noise startles you out of your thinking and you see your father enter your cell with a look of amazement, wonder and something else on his face. But you don't stop to try and define it because your daddy is here and you throw yourself in his arms crying and hoping things will now be all right because there's still that little girl inside of you who knows that daddy is the biggest, strongest and most amazing man in the whole world who can do absolutely anything and make everything better.
You stay like that for who knows how long and when you pull apart you realise it's not only your face that's streaked with tears. The stone cold Jack Bristow is crying.
You remember the last time you saw him crying. You were six years old and he had just told you Mommy wasn't coming home again.
For a while you and he just stand there in silence, neither wanting to break the spell that has fallen over you both. Eventually he speaks, you reply and it's like nothing's changed. He asks you about what happened and you tell him you don't know. You ask him about what's happened and unlike your replies he can actually tell you. He tells you about Marshall and Carrie, about Dixon, about Will, even about Kendall. You know he's purposely avoiding the subject of Vaughn, so you ask him outright. After a pause he tells you. He tells you about the drinking and the depression, about when he left the CIA, about when he met Lauren.
You start to think maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe you didn't want to know. Not yet at least, not while the pain is still so raw and your heart so broken. Your father obviously picks up on this and tries to reassure you that it will get better and you'll get over him.
Get over him??
Without him you are nothing. Why can nobody understand that? You love him more than life itself and now you don't have him any more you don't see any point in going on because you've lost the only thing that matters. You can't do this, not again. Having your heart torn out once was bad enough but you can't go through that pain again. And especially not when he's still alive and you know there's someone else who means the world to him when he's everything to you. It was always him, his smile, his voice, his touch. The way he looked at you like you were the most beautiful woman in the world and you couldn't believe that someone as wonderful as him would want to be with you but he did and he gave you so much love you felt you might burst.
But he's not yours any more. And he will never look at you like that again.
