Chapter 5

Katy was awoken by Josh and Maggie jumping on her bed, and singing Jingle Bells at the top of their lungs. She opened her eyes and smiled at her two anxious, excited kids.

"Mummy, mummy, it's Christmas! It's Christmas!"

She opened her eyes and smiled at her children's enthusiasm. Last Christmas, she had been awoken by Maggie playing Christmas carols on the piano and Josh singing them, at 5:30 AM. John had wanted to tell them to go back to bed, but when they went into the lounge and saw their excited faces, they knew that they couldn't do that to their children.

"Right my darlings. Let's see what Santa brought you both!"

Their room had a separate lounge attached to it, and because of the season, a Christmas tree. Katy had packed some presents for them in her suitcase, but had left them a note from "Santa" under the tree, telling them that most of their presents were going to be at home, waiting for them.

Josh and Katy went running into the lounge and looked at the Christmas tree. Before they started ripping off the wrapping, Katy made them both stand in front of the tree so she could take their pictures. She also set the timer on the camera so she could take one with them, for John. She couldn't hold them back much longer. Calling room service, she ordered up hot chocolate for all three of them, and a basket of pastries. Then she let them rip into their presents.

"Mummy, how did Santa know where we are?" Maggie asked.

"I think your daddy had a word with him and told him." She smiled, happy to land John in it on these kind of matters.

"Why didn't Santa bring you anything?" Josh asked.

"I'm sure he did, he just left it at home with yours. Santa knows that grown ups enjoy watching their kids get presents, and knew that I didn't want him to take up room in his sack for me when he could squeeze in another one for you."

"Do you think Daddy got anything for Christmas?" Maggie asked, tearing the wrapping off of a long box.

Katy thought of the sexy nightgown she had bought the other day at Selfridges. "Yes, I'm sure he did."

"Will he open it now or will he wait?" Josh asked, not waiting for a response, "Yes! It's the red Transmogrificator! How did Santa know this is the one I wanted?"

"I don't think that one's from Santa, love. Check the card."

Josh looked at the card, "Here you go mate, Merry Christmas, Love, Dad."

"It was dad!" he exclaimed. "No wonder!"

Maggie had managed the wrapping off of her present and was opening the box. It was a Cassie doll, part of a popular historical doll collection meant to become heirlooms for the child, passed down from generation to generation. The doll was dressed in replica 1940's clothing, with accessories, and a book about the war era. Maggie grinned at her mother, and set about taking the doll out of it's wrappings. When Katy had first saw the dolls in a catalogue, she knew they would be perfect for her. There was a knock on the door, room service. Katy got up and opened the door. The waiter brought the tray in and smiled at the children.

Josh had disappeared into the other room. He came back with a rectangle box that was very thin, wrapped, with a card attached to it. He handed it to his mother and whispered, "Dad told me to give this to you on Christmas day. He says not to open it until you call him."

Katy looked at the box. She smiled to herself and kissed her son's forehead. "Thanks honey."

She flipped over the card, "Do not open until Christmas, and not until you're on the phone with me. I love you. Jx"

Katy got up and went over to the phone. Josh and Maggie were digging in their stockings - chocolate, a juicy Satsuma, and a book for each of them. As she put her hand on the receiver to pick it up, the phone rang. Believing it was John on the other end, she answered, "Hello handsome, Merry Christmas!"

There was a pause on the other end of the phone for a moment. "Katy, it's Chris."

"What are you doing?" Her voice lowered to a whisper. "Why are you calling me?" Looking over at her children, she said, "You'll ruin my kids' Christmas!"

"I just thought that maybe you would like to go for a drink this evening. My way of saying Merry Christmas. Since you're in the area and all, I'd like to make up for things. Did you see anything good while you were in town?"

"Chris. no. Will you please leave it?" Josh had come over from playing with his toy and was standing by his mother. "Is that Dad?" he asked.

Katy put her hand over the receiver, "No sweetheart, it's the receptionist. Wants to know if we're having dinner in the restaurant tonight. What do you want to do?"

"I'd rather have room service. That restaurant is too full of snobby people."

"Do you hear that?" Katy spoke into the phone, "We'll have room service tonight, sorry, we won't be coming down."

"Katy, come on, just one drink. We can go to the American bar in the hotel, we don't even have to leave. Surely your kids can stay on their own for an hour or so?"

Josh had gone back over and was shooting Maggie's doll with his Transmogrificator. Maggie squealed and cradled her doll in her arms.

"My children are six and four years old. I don't like leaving them on their own for five minutes while I'm in the bathroom."

"So get a sitter then. Come on Katy. One drink."

"No. No way."

Chris changed tactics, "It's just that I'm all alone. Charlotte won't forgive me and more to the point, I won't forgive myself for what I've done. I've got no one to spend the day with and I'm desperately lonely."

"Who do you have to thank for that?" Katy asked. Josh was looking over at her suspiciously. Katy stuck her tongue out at him and he giggled and went back to his toy. He had his father's instincts, that one.

"I know, I know. Myself. Please, Katy. I don't want to sit in all day watching the Queen's speech and drinking myself stupid. Just one drink, one hour."

Katy sighed, "If I do, will you let me hang up so I can call my husband?"

Chris smiled to himself. He had an in. "Yes, of course."

"Alright then. 9:30, downstairs, and just for one hour. By then my little ones should be near asleep and I can get a sitter to mind them while I slip out."

"Alright. See you then." Chris hung up the phone. He broke off a sprig of the mistletoe that Charlotte had hung above the door to the lounge and took it upstairs. Holding it over her head, he kissed her and she opened her eyes and smiled.

"Merry Christmas," he said, smiling. "What do you want for breakfast?"

* * *

"And yesterday we went to the Tower of London, Daddy. Mummy says that you used to work very close by there. I saw a Beefeater but he wasn't eating any beef. And some pretty jewellery that Mummy says belongs to the Queen. Can I have some jewellery when I grow up?" John laughed at his daughter's observations.

"I can't wait to see you sweetheart," he said. "Is your mum around?"

"Yeah. She's helping Josh build a fort out of pillows."

"Put her on love."

"Mum." Maggie called, "Daddy wants to talk to you."

"I love you daddy!" Maggie exclaimed.

"I love you too princess. See you soon."

There was a pause. Katy picked up the phone.

"Hey sexy. " John said, "Santa's lap is mighty empty at the moment."

"Stop it!" she giggled. "Shhh! The kids might hear you."

"Don't care. I'm horny. I want my wife."

"Well, you'll just have to wait. A few more days won't kill you." Katy was finding it hard to keep from laughing.

"It might do."

"No one's ever died from lack of. that!" She teased.

"Yeah well, I could be the first."

"You're terrible, you know that? Terrible!"

"Yeah but that's how you like me, don't you?" John was laughing now as well.

"Whatever. Do you see the box underneath the tree?"

"What, the one with the big card on it that says "Do Not Open Until Christmas?"

"Yeah."

"I see it. is it for me?"

"Course it is, silly!"

"Oh, so I've been a good boy this year?"

"No, it's just that Santa's feeling generous at the moment."

"Lucky me. Let's see, what's this then?" John pulled it up onto the sofa. It was rather heavy. John rattled it. "Hmm. sounds like a tool box."

"No!" Katy exclaimed. "Just open it."

"Did Santa Josh give you your present?"

"If you mean this lovely little box with a note attached to it, yes." Katy held the small box in her lap.

"Let me talk to Josh for a minute."

Katy held out the phone. "Josh, daddy wants a word!"

Josh crawled out from his pillow fort and went running over to his mother.

"Alright, dad?" he said, grabbing the phone.

Katy couldn't hear what John was saying, but Josh's face lit up and he grinned. He handed the phone back to his mother and disappeared into the other room.

"What did you just tell him to do?" she asked.

"Never mind. Now, do you want me to open my present?"

"Yeah, go on then." Katy smiled as she heard the paper tearing. "Bloody hell, Kate, it's a VitruaGame!"

"Yeah, I thought I'd give it to you instead of Josh so you could get it set up, figure out how to work it, and get reasonably good at the games before Josh comes back to trounce you!" Katy laughed.

"He'll go mad when he sees it! Alright, you got SO19 - Armed Police!" John exclaimed, "Apparently it's the most realistic simulation of an SO19 op! Hello, what's this then?" he asked.

"If you mean that little one taped on the side?"

"Yeah. what is it?"

"Open it and find out, silly!"

John tore at the wrapping of the small box. Opening it, he saw it was a gold and onyx band with a diamond set in it. "Oh, Katy love, that's gorgeous. It's beautiful."

"You like it then?"

"Like it? I love it! It's terrific! You always pick the best presents. Ah, baby, I love you." John slipped the ring on the ring finger of his right hand.

"You've got one more coming to you, but it's for me to give you in person."

"Is it beautiful, sexy and comes wrapped in something silky for me to unwrap?"

"Possibly," she giggled.

"Mmm. Saved the best for last then."

"Stop it!" she exclaimed, laughing.

"Right, now, your turn, mummy. Open your present," John said.

"Alright!" Katy lifted the small box off of the table beside the bed. She carefully undid the wrapping and slipped the ribbon off. It was a teal box with Tiffany and Co. on the top. She raised her eyebrows.

"John, what exactly did you get me?"

"Just a little something. Go on, open it."

Carefully lifting the lid revealed a beautiful thin gold bracelet inset with five rubies. It had an antique look about it. It must have cost him a fortune but it was absolutely gorgeous.

"Oh John I love it!" she exclaimed. "It's beautiful!"

Just then she heard the click of a camera. Josh took a picture of her and laughed.

"Got you mummy! Daddy wanted a picture of you when you opened it!"

"Thank you sweetheart!" She exclaimed down the phone. Maggie came running over to see her mother's new bracelet.

"Mummy that's beautiful!" she said. "Can I wear it?"

John heard what she said and started laughing. "Not until you're mummy's age, sweetheart!" Katy said.

"Thank you love," Katy said, again. "I love it."

"Thought you might, sweetheart." There was a knock at the door. "Hold on love, someone's at the door."

Katy heard the front door open. Then she heard Don's voice, "Alright mate, got some steaks and some beer. Bobby and Leroy are coming round for some poker in a couple of hours. Bloody hell, is that a VirtuaGame?"

"Don's here love, gotta go. I love you. Call you tomorrow baby."

"Poker on Christmas?" Katy asked, eyebrows raised.

"Hey, it beats crying in my Christmas pud."

"I love you baby. Have fun."

They hung up. Katy picked up her bracelet, and fastened it to her wrist. She admired the way the rubies sparkled in the light. Looking at the clock she was surprised to see that it was 1:30 in the afternoon and they were all still in their pyjamas.

"Right, kids, let's get cleaned up and go for a little walk before dinner."

* * *

Katy had plenty of time to get ready to see Chris as the kids had fallen asleep at 8:00. She tucked them both into bed and called for a sitter to come up at 9:15. She chose a sharp black skirt with a muted design, with the matching top. Leaving her hair down, she did her makeup demurely. She wore her new bracelet.

When the sitter knocked on the door, she told her that the kids were asleep, and to tell them, if they woke up, that she would be back soon, and just went downstairs for a drink. The nanny nodded, and Katy left.

Chris was already at the bar waiting for her. He stood up when she entered the room, and held out a chair for her.

"Ah, Merry Christmas, Katy." He went to kiss her, but she turned her head and he ended up kissing her cheek. Undeterred, he smiled at her as he sat down.

"What would you like to drink?" he asked.

"Kir Royale, please."

The waiter came over, and Chris ordered a Kir Royale for her and a martini for him. Smiling, he took her in.

"You look lovely tonight. How was your Christmas?"

"It was alright. It would be a lot better if John were here," she couldn't resist saying.

"Yes. I can imagine it would be hard for you and your children. It's very lonely to spend Christmas on your own, without the person you care about."

"Still, the kids took it well, we went for a walk along the Thames. I showed them where John used to live when he moved down from Islington while he was at West End Central. Also took them down to Greenwich a few days ago to show them my house.

"Have you had them to Sun Hill?"

"No. I don't have many memories of John at Sun Hill apart from what you know about. Our relationship took place more when he was at West End Central getting puppywalked. He stayed there for seven years. For the first five of those years we were a couple. When he made the initial leap into CID as a DC, it was at Central. Then he got transferred to Barton Street for five years before coming to Sun Hill as a DS. I didn't know him at all when he was at Barton Street. Our paths crossed again at Sun Hill."

Chris smiled. "So you've taken them up on Central's patch then? Showed them all your landmarks?"

"Just the ones fit for young minds to know about." Katy sipped her drink. The pianist was playing Christmas Carols softly in the corner.

"What else have you done with them?"

"The usual stuff. Tower of London, British Museum, Science Museum, Madame Tussauds, we went to see Cinderella at the theatre, and I took them to see a Disney film in the new virtuacinema off of Leicester Square. Also did a day trip to Windsor Castle."

"Sounds like you've been busy. Have you had any time for yourself?"

"Well, I left them with the sitter one afternoon and went shopping for myself. That was nice."

Chris took her hand from across the table. "You should do more for yourself. You deserve it. It's your vacation too, you know."

"Yeah but the whole purpose of this vacation is for my kids to see where their parents came from. Not for mum to leave them in a hotel room with a nanny while she goes off and has a good time. Besides, John and I will probably nip away for a trip in a few months time."

"What about just you? Sod everyone else, what are you doing for yourself?"

"Well, not much, but that's ok."

"Katy, you deserve better. How many more days do you have left?"

"Three."

"You should leave the kids with a nanny one day and book yourself in to a spa. There's tons of them near Covent Garden, really good ones. Let them pamper you. And in the evening let me take you to the theatre. Something more adult than Cinderella. We can go to dinner afterwards, and it can be a lovely treat for yourself. Think of it as a Christmas gift from you to you."

Katy smirked at him, "It all sounded good up until the theatre and dinner proposal. I should have realised." She pulled her hand away and sat back in her chair.

"Well, don't see me that evening. But still, go to a spa for yourself. You deserve it. Take some time off from raising two kids and babysitting John." Chris rolled his eyes.

"I would hardly describe my relationship with my husband babysitting," she said, flatly.

"He's not changed that much, Katy, don't fool yourself. Remember, I know him as well." Chris was clutching at straws. He could see it was going nowhere.

She leaned forward in her chair, so nothing she was about to say would be misheard over the music. "Look at you. You are positively seething with jealousy."

Chris opened his mouth to refute her statement but she continued, "I know what you're thinking, Chris Deakin. You look at me and you look at John and you think to yourself, what could a person like me possibly see in him? You forget, I'm an ex-burglar. A genuine East-End blagger. Sure, I've got posh tastes but cut my veins open and I bleed red not blue. I loved John from the moment I met him. I was 18 years old and he was a gormless PC, five days into the job, getting the mick taken out of him for his hair colour on a regular basis. He hadn't even made his first arrest yet. Thought that I was going to be it. I tried to strike a deal with him to save my own skin, but I felt bad for him when he accepted - so naive. Can you believe there was a time when John Boulton was naïve? Anyone else would have played him for a fool. Not me. When I looked in his big brown eyes for the first time I knew I couldn't lead him astray."

"I don't know if it was the red hair, the brown eyes or the freckles, or if it was his trusting sweetness - soon to get beaten out of him. But on that night I fell in love for the only time in my life and I fell hard. And so did he. We made love that night for the first time. He stayed more at my place than he did his own. I'd give him tip offs, he'd act upon them, or I'd help him by setting up deals and going along with it to catch the dealers in the act. It was our secret, the cop and the crook. And we loved it."

"It was only when CID got interested in him that he really started to change. He started seeing less and less of me. Told me that he still loved me but had to cool it down just for a little while, until his security clearance checked out or some nonsense like that. Then he told me that in order for him to get into CID we would have to end our relationship. Knowing how important it was for him, and knowing how it's against the rules for police to fraternize with known criminals, I gave up the man I love to let him have his dream. I loved him so much that I let him go and do what he needed to do."

"Seven years apart did nothing to stop how I felt about him. I saw him in the paper when his partner got killed. I knew he was transferred to Barton Street but not to Sun Hill. Though, with my line of work, and with his line of work, it was inevitable our paths would cross again. It was obvious, the moment we laid eyes on each other, after the bank job, that our love wasn't dead."

"If all that, plus getting thrown in jail, him faking his own death, and messing around with Claire Stanton didn't manage to kill the love I have for him, what makes you think that a fancy dinner is going to make me throw over my soul mate, my children and my life?"

Chris looked at her. He didn't know what to say. He sipped his drink and shrugged.

"I'm sorry, Chris. You may have the sophistication that John lacks, but John's got my heart. Now, always and forever. Besides, you underestimate him. Look at my Christmas present."

She held out her arm and showed him the bracelet John had bought her. He had to admit, it was a beautiful piece.

"Tiffany. Isn't it lovely? Now you tell me, was this bought by a man with no style, taste or class? I don't think so. Sure, he may not have your knowledge of wine and cuisine, but I've got enough of that for both of us. What makes me happy is not discussing the finer points of the Pinot Gris grape, or the proper way to prepare foie gras, but in making a meal, setting it down and my family enjoying it. Maggie playing with her dolls, Josh and his mate Brian out on the beach looking for shells, and John trying to get in my knickers. To lay down every night knowing that my children are happy and loved, and to roll over and see the face of the man who I've always loved, who I thought I lost twice, smiling back at me. That's happiness. That's contentment."

"I don't know if you can understand that, Chris. You, who are so used to having your way with women. No family, no kids, no commitment, no problems. I may be the closest you've come to commitment, but I doubt you would ever really commit to me either, even if things had worked out. It's just your way. Someday you'll lose something you really care about, and then, maybe, you'll be able to appreciate what you have, and realise that relationships aren't just a game, and once you find love, it's worth holding onto with both hands, as tightly as possible, because at any minute it can be snatched away in the blink of an eye."

Katy stood to leave. She had said it all, and effectively dashed any dream he may have ever had about her and him. There would be no wooing her away from John. And for the first time he understood what she meant about true love. She was right about everything, from him being jealous, to the fact he would, in the end, not have committed to her. He was only obsessed with her because she was the one that got away. Chris knew this was the last time he would ever see her.

"I hope you can find the same happiness and contentment that John and I have, someday. You may have to compromise, but the rewards are worth it. Take care, and have a good life, Chris."

She turned and left him sitting at the table, alone, slightly overwhelmed by everything she had said. Something stood out to him, however. To love someone so much that in spite of what they do, in spite of who they are, their flaws and foibles, the love grows stronger to overcome it, was an incredible idea. Searching his soul he realised that he could love like that if he wanted to, he was just afraid to. He didn't want to open his heart because he didn't want rejected.

Maybe it was time for him to change his life. Downing the last of his martini, he paid the tab and left. Snow was fluttering in the air lightly, and his spirit felt strangely lifted. There was something he needed to do.