M.R.D.: Welcome back! It's time for chapter five. Before I begin, these are the current Phases: Innis: FFTaticsLuver, Findhell: The Rouge Prince, Macha: Mireille Bouquet, I still need word from Zazie the Beast, who chose a Phase that was already taken. Enough of this, let me begin.

Disclaimer: Did I even put this in the first few chapters? I wish I owned .hack so I wouldn't have to do this!!!!!!!

Chapter five.

~~~Where Elk is~~~

Remember, Mia had just walked in; I never told you what she got out.

Mia: (Spinning on her- well, I'm not telling you yet) This is fun!

Elk: (Recording what she is doing) Oh Mia, I never knew. Oh well, this is kind of a turn on.

That's right Mia is a CAT! Who knew!

Everyone reading: (Fall down, anime style)

~~~That was short~~~

~~~Dun Loriag~~~

~~~Did I spell that right?~~~

~~~You'll never guess what I found in my boxers, go on guess~~~

~~~I'm-

Gardenia: (Really mad) Would you shut up!

Sanjuro: (gasp) Are you fighting with the narrator?

Gardenia: He started it.

~~~Did not~~~

Gardenia: Did to you son of a-

~~~I'll pretend not to hear you~~~

Gardenia: (Fast forward) (Normal) That was strange. Sanjuro, Why did you call me here?

Sanjuro: To tell you the truth about why Kite likes to invite you to places to fight.

Gardenia: Alright then, why?

Sanjuro: Because, he always sees your underwear with that dress thing you wear.

~~~That is possible when you play the game, just go into first person view-

Gardenia: I thought you left!

~~~You can't get rid of me!~~~

Gardenia: Oh yeah! Then let's go!

Sanjuro: Oh look, it's Kite and Blackrose.

Kite and Blackrose were just walking along the plank thingies, when they walk pass Mimiru.

Mimiru: (Looking at Blackrose)

Blackrose: (Looking at Mimru)

Mimiru and Blackrose: (As they walk away from one another) Man she looks like a slut.

They both stop, and look at each other in a way that would send the signal to watch out, there's going to be a catfight.

Elk: (Warp's into town) (Sees what is going on) Excellent! (Pulls out his camera and presses record)

Soon, Kite, Elk, Sanjuro, and Gardenia were standing around the two players that looked aliked.

Blackrose: I do not look like a slut! You do !

Mimiru: I do not! I would never be caught dead looking like that!

Blackrose: You're dead!

Blackrose jumped at Mimiru, but Mimiru got out of the way, causeing Blackrose to fall flat on her face. Mimiru then jumped on top of Blackrose and started pulling her hair.

Aura: (Comes out of nowhere) (Sees what is happening, and joins the group around the two girls) What is going on?

Kite: Catfight.

Elk: (Video tapping) Come on! Rip off one another's clothing!

After hearing this, Mimiru ripped off Blackrose's breastplate strap, causeing Blackrose to be topless, and the guy's nose's to start bleeding.

Gardenia: What a bunch of morons, fighting in the middle of Dun Leriag.

Mimiru and Blackrose then got mad at Gardenia, and pulled her into the fight. The fight went on and on, and soon, well, none of the girl's were, umm, dressed for the occasion.

All the boys: (Die out from blood loss, but quickly log back in)

Elk: (Still filming, did I forget to mention that the camera automatically saves what it records? So that means that Elk didn't lose a thing he recorded)

~~~Off at some field known as Delta: Look Ma' No hands~~~

Skeith: (Not me, I am M.R.D.) (Somehow they can all speak English, and sound like celebrities) (Robin Williams voice) Now, please present yourselves.

Innis: (Pauly Shore, now that is just wrong) Here.

Magus: (Andy Dick) Hey.

Findhell: (Ian McKellan, now he is cool) Present.

Gorre, head one: (Al Gore, get it?) Here.

Gorre, head two: (Al Gore also) Here.

Macha: (Not present, you know why, and you know why she is the only one that doesn't sound like a celebrity)

Tarvos: (Sean Connery) Hello.

Corbinik: (Nathan Lane) Hello there.

Cubia: (Remember, he is Christopher Walken) Why am I here? I'm not even a phase.

Skeith: You are here because, Yeah, why are you here? Get out!

(Poor Cubia, I think he is pretty cool, kind of)

Skeith: Now we are here to talk about Kite.

All the Phases: Boo!

Skeith: Most importantly, we are here to answer that question, what would happen if I had Data Drained him instead of that Orca guy?

All the Phases: Hmm. . .

Cubia: (Comes back) I just wanna say is, how can you three be here? (Points at Skeith, Innis, and Magus) You three are dead.

Skeith: No we are not.

Cubia: Yes you are, I have the clips right here. (Shows the clips of their deaths)

Skeith, Innis, and Magus: (gasp) (They all turn a dark gray, except for Skeith, and turn to dust)

Cubia: Told ya'.

M.R.D.: I have no idea where I got the idea for the Phase thing.

Next Time:

The all .hack//LIMINALITY special! It really needs to get more time on this site.