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From an idea by Grygon...what if Horatio had to interview Miss Swan?
"OK," Lieutenant Horatio Caine said to his coworkers John Hagen and Calleigh Duquesne, "…here we are. The owner of this establishment said she can identify the shooter."
Calleigh let out a laugh as she read the name of the business, "Gorgeous Pretty Beauty Nail Salon."
Horatio walked up to a short, black-haired woman wearing long knee high socks, bedroom slippers and an odd apron with feet all over it.
"Hello I'm Lieutanant Horatio Caine of the…." The lady's face turned
red as she screamed "I no whore! I no talk to you!"
Horatio remained calm. "No, m'am. My name is Horatio…"
"You're a whore? I thought you were a policeman! You no look like a whore." She lets out a laugh.
"M'am, you said you can identify the shooter…" Horatio continued,
ignoring her.
"Yeah, OK, I tell you everything." She replied.
"OK…" Horatio, patiently waiting for her description.
"Well, what did he look like?"
"Hold on, I tell you everything!" she paused again.
"M'am we really need to catch this…"
"If you not nice to me, then I no smile at you like this!"
she puckers her lips and gives the cheesiest smile he had ever seen.
Calleigh and John glanced over, trying not to laugh. This was, after
all, a crime scene.
"That's fine m'am. You don't have to smile. You just have to tell
me what he looked like." Horatio calmly stated, completely
unruffled by her outlandish behavior.
"Yeah, Ok he looka like…" she paused. Horatio widened his
eyes, edging her further.
"..looka like….I tell you everything, everything."
"Yes, M'am, please do." An ever-stoic Horatio replied.
"He…looka like a man!"
At that Calleigh smiled, noticing Horatio gradually becoming annoyed.
"What kind of man?" he calmly replied.
"A man."
"A man?" he repeated.
"He looook a like a man."
"A man like me?"
"A man."
"What color hair?" Horatio pushed further, hoping to get an
answer.
"Like a man, you know, hair, clothes…"
"What color hair did the shooter have!" he firmly stated.
"I no talk to you anymore!" she yelled back. "First you
call me a whore, then tell me you're a whore, then you yell at me!"
"What did he look like? And if you say he look like a man,
you're going to be the next crime scene!" Horatio finally lost it.
The calm, cool Horatio was raving mad.
John and Calleigh came over at this point.
"Horatio, don't…" Calleigh started, "…because I
want at her first!"
MAD TV cam fades to everyone choking Miss Swan…
From an idea by Grygon...what if Horatio had to interview Miss Swan?
"OK," Lieutenant Horatio Caine said to his coworkers John Hagen and Calleigh Duquesne, "…here we are. The owner of this establishment said she can identify the shooter."
Calleigh let out a laugh as she read the name of the business, "Gorgeous Pretty Beauty Nail Salon."
Horatio walked up to a short, black-haired woman wearing long knee high socks, bedroom slippers and an odd apron with feet all over it.
"Hello I'm Lieutanant Horatio Caine of the…." The lady's face turned
red as she screamed "I no whore! I no talk to you!"
Horatio remained calm. "No, m'am. My name is Horatio…"
"You're a whore? I thought you were a policeman! You no look like a whore." She lets out a laugh.
"M'am, you said you can identify the shooter…" Horatio continued,
ignoring her.
"Yeah, OK, I tell you everything." She replied.
"OK…" Horatio, patiently waiting for her description.
"Well, what did he look like?"
"Hold on, I tell you everything!" she paused again.
"M'am we really need to catch this…"
"If you not nice to me, then I no smile at you like this!"
she puckers her lips and gives the cheesiest smile he had ever seen.
Calleigh and John glanced over, trying not to laugh. This was, after
all, a crime scene.
"That's fine m'am. You don't have to smile. You just have to tell
me what he looked like." Horatio calmly stated, completely
unruffled by her outlandish behavior.
"Yeah, Ok he looka like…" she paused. Horatio widened his
eyes, edging her further.
"..looka like….I tell you everything, everything."
"Yes, M'am, please do." An ever-stoic Horatio replied.
"He…looka like a man!"
At that Calleigh smiled, noticing Horatio gradually becoming annoyed.
"What kind of man?" he calmly replied.
"A man."
"A man?" he repeated.
"He looook a like a man."
"A man like me?"
"A man."
"What color hair?" Horatio pushed further, hoping to get an
answer.
"Like a man, you know, hair, clothes…"
"What color hair did the shooter have!" he firmly stated.
"I no talk to you anymore!" she yelled back. "First you
call me a whore, then tell me you're a whore, then you yell at me!"
"What did he look like? And if you say he look like a man,
you're going to be the next crime scene!" Horatio finally lost it.
The calm, cool Horatio was raving mad.
John and Calleigh came over at this point.
"Horatio, don't…" Calleigh started, "…because I
want at her first!"
MAD TV cam fades to everyone choking Miss Swan…
