Letter in a Pink Envelope

For all CloAer fans

In honor of the love couple.

As always

Mysterio000

p.s. the almighty one!

*

I am now sitted by the beach with the waves lapping against the shore. Around me and before, the scenery is calm and almost ethereal. On occasions, swallows and seagulls would spread their majestic small wings out to belt the sea, flying past the ripples of the marine waters. To their destination beyond the horizon, I wonder to where the horizon lies.

Being just a mere mortal blessed with the powers of Cetra, I cannot help but wish sometimes I could see more of this wonderful world. What would it be like if I could see the mountains on the other end of the sea? What would it be like to feel the touch of the skies within my grasp? It would be beautiful, wouldn't it?

Lowering my forest green eyes back to the notebook in my hands, I ponder again on the topic of what to draw or write today. I would be the first to openly admit I am not a good artist but I like to place my feelings in my work. It allows me to express my feelings and emotions in where I have trouble displaying them.

I blink suddenly, my attention going off focus. I can hear pair of footsteps shuffling against the sandy grounds and almost instantly, I can recognize it as the guy I have known to be secretly fond of for a long time now.

My gaze turns to land on the strong, sturdy figure of Cloud Strife walking down the pathway by the beach. Like I have expected, Tifa Lockheart, the friend he have come to know of ever since childhood, was by his side. She leans in to whisper something in his ears before a smile lights up on her face and crimson splashes over her cheeks. As reluctant as Cloud can try to remain, the corner of his lips struggle to curl.

They are happy, I can tell. Of course, they should be happy. They have been together for very long now, isn't it? I always know Tifa is in love with Cloud. For the vice versa, the certainty is still doubtful but I can always see Cloud opening up to Tifa more than he does to me or anyone else.

Is it because of his feelings? Or the length of time he has known Tifa?

The truth hurts me and I think I do not really have the guts to find out. After all, I know I can never be good enough for Cloud. It is perhaps on my naïve thinking that I still pin my hopes for this dashing blond-haired man.

Why will a first-class soldier return a love for a mere flower girl like me? I am only Aeris Gainsborough and my presence alone is not enough to warm anybody's life, let alone a soldier's. How can anybody learn to love somebody like me when I am a weak fighter who is only best at selling flowers in the slums? I am not worthy of a soldier's love, especially somebody like Cloud Strife.

What about Tifa Lockhart? I know not much about the past between her and Cloud but I know in the way that she looks at him, it is love. Don't get me wrong. I cannot find any reason to hate her, even though she may be the one who holds the key to unlocking Cloud's heart and I do not. She is strong and brave and there is no flaw I can spot within her. I will not be surprise nor disappointed if Cloud returns his feelings for her love. I am nowhere close to rival Cloud's affections for her, and neither do I find myself even comparable to her.

So why does my heart aches immensely when I see them walking together side by side down to the sea like that? My presence goes unnoticed but it is okay. It has always been like this, hasn't it? I should get used to it by now.

Yet in my dreams, in my fairytales, Cloud is always there. His smiles are meant for me, his laughter is meant only for my ears. That will be the sweetest thing ever, won't it? Of course, I am a dreamer and will always be.

Now, my eyes follow the two figures coming to a stop. They are watching the sea now together.

Together. Fate has destined me to be alone and the one left out always, hasn't it? I should perhaps learn to accept the way things always turns out and ignore my throbbing heart.

Did one droplet of tear just fell onto the opened notebook, landing in between the lines? My hand reaches out for the corner of my eye and I feel something soaking the tip of my finger.

Tears? Yes, they were tears. And more, as they come rolling down my cheeks. I am powerless to stop them, having no control of my quavering emotions at this moment. Thumbing the fountain pen in my fingers, I finally return my attention to the notebook in my hands.

Perhaps I will write today.

Dear Cloud… My handwriting begins to take form as my mind coheres thoughts on how I should write this letter. For Cloud. He wouldn't get a chance to read this because I will never have the guts to hand this to him personally. But maybe…maybe there will be a day when this letter will reach him.

Time slows to an almost stop as my words continue to make their journey down the lines in my usual cursive handwriting. On occasions, because I would stop to think on what to write next, a blot of blue ink would end up on a spot somewhere in the end. But my words persevered on until they finally came to an end at the bottom of the page. I then signed my name and folded the letter and finally placed it on my lap.

Humming a song softly under my breath, my eyes go distant again. Cloud and Tifa are turning away from the beach now, their bodies so close that their hands almost touched. This sight hurts me nevertheless, thinking how it would be like if I am the one instead.

I brush these thoughts away before picking up the folded piece of letter with my fingers. Eyeing it for a long time, I then notice something thin slipping from the gaps of my notebook pages.

A pink envelope.

Smiling with the idea, I carefully place the letter in the envelope before sealing it neatly. Turning the envelope to the front, I pick up the pen again before wondering on what to write.

For Cloud?

Yes, that will be simple and good.

When the job was done, my eyes wander to the back where the both of them had disappeared by then.

Smiling, I realize that I could love Cloud still no matter how his eyes will never acknowledge my feelings and the me known as Aeris Gainsborough.

~~~~~~*End of P.O.V.*~~~~~~

That one year had not been easy for Cloud Strife. In fact, it had been such a year of hard tides and difficult waves that it had left him broken. The defeat of Sephiroth, although triumphant, had meant nothing to him now. Those victories, those wins, held no meaning to him when he had lost what he knew was most important to his heart…and life.

When she had perished and left him and this world, it was as if his entire heart had gone with her. He found no more reason to live, no more hope to hold on to. To simply put it, he had lost all life.

Now, long hours of weeks after that one year, Cloud Strife walked down the same beach he had been visiting often in previous times. He had liked the sight of both dawn and dusk while perching himself high on the huge rock, enjoying the strong rhythm of the wind blowing at his spiky blond hair.

Yet, now, things were different.

What was once the vivacious wind was now slaughtered. Though strong as before, Cloud could no longer feel the wind dancing, could no longer feel the wind calling ; singing. It was all lost.

Making his way to the enormous rock a distance away, Cloud ignored the first tear biting at his lashes. He had always loathed crying. Yet somehow he could no longer help it and keep his emotions in check when she had passed away since that fateful day.

Cloud looked down irritably at the sandy grounds in which he had almost stumbled upon. His eyes then narrowed, his forehead creasing when he noticed something jutting out from the ground.

Bending down to pull a thin, flat object from the sand, he dusted off the dirt that had collected on it within time. It must have been a long time since it was here, he decided as he carefully eyed it. And then he did a double take.

It was an envelope. On the front was simply written, Cloud.

Tearing open the envelope hastily, Cloud's anticipation and heartbeats were multiplied a few notches as his anxious fingers finally pulled out a lined notebook paper ; a letter.

Tears sprang to his eyes at that familiar cursive handwriting. How long had the letter been hidden under the sand, forgotten? Yet age was nothing of a barrier to the neatly-folded letter and the blue fountain ink flowing down to the ends of the page.

Marine eyes slowly read down to the bottom. From an expression of what had seemed like shock at first, transformed into a blend of emotions of so much more. Joy, pain, happiness, guilt, sorrow… They were indefinable within words. These emotions.

Trembling and shaking, Cloud lowered the letter in his hand to his side. Stricken by sorrow and love now, he finally allowed himself to slump over onto the ground. The letter fell silently to the sand, but not unforgotten this time.

As his eyes slowly rose to met with twilight skies, the tears rolling down uncontrollably on his cheeks ignited the break of dusk on this day. Yet the whisper flowing with his breath never went unheard as it breezed away with the wind and twirled high up into the sky before sprinkling into a dust of invisible fireworks.

Simple, short and sweet.

"I love you, too…"

Dear Cloud,

First and foremost, the most important question I have to ask is a simple, "How are you?" I would love to know how you are doing these few days. Although you're before my sight with only a distance within to keep us apart and I unseen, it is still okay to write this letter for you and only you. I am now sitted by the sea with the peaceful waters spread before my eyes. You and Tifa are walking alongside the sea as the waves crash peacefully upon the shore but still, it is okay with me.

We have come a long way now, hasn't it? From all those long battles fought to the many missions we had to accomplish, life sure hasn't been easy so far. I was thinking in times like this, it would be good if we could sit down together by the beach and talk among ourselves, isn't it? I know this is a naïve thinking on my part but I've always been a dreamer all this while. You would always be smiling to me and laughing in my dreams. They were sweet, of course, but reality would seep back in and make my heart throb with pain again. I know I am not good enough for you and I do not possess the worth to compare myself against Tifa with you, but still, I cannot help the tears that now roll down my cheeks as I watch you return another smile to her again. Sometimes, I cannot help but wonder, when will it be me, a simple flower girl, to be by your side, and to have you returning at least just a smile. That is all I ask for, I promise.

But destiny has its way with me. Maybe it is meant for me to never find somebody who will love me back as much as I love him. Yet, I could always dream, couldn't I? Would you like to tell me about your dreams and ambitions, someday, Cloud? I would be interested in hearing them. You never speak too much about yourself and never open up to me. Deep down, I wish you really could, you know? It sometime confuses me and puzzles me what could go on in a unique mind like yours. I wish I could really tell what you are feeling, then maybe I don't have to try so hard all the times.

My dream is to be able to sell flowers again. I can picture you rolling your eyes and think I am out of my mind. But it would be really wonderful if I could sell flowers and own lands and lands full of flowers at the same time! I can dream of us running along and belting the valleys of flowers. Sigh…It does seem wonderful. Still, I promise this is only a dream and I wouldn't get my hopes high up only to have them crash down again.

Dear Cloud, it seems as though I'll never be the one to find the way to your heart and that is why I am writing this letter to you. I do not wish to destroy your life by having a flower girl confessing a love to such an almighty soldier like you and neither do I have the guts to tell you my true feelings when I am not worthy of your love. This letter will be forgotten soon enough, I'm sure, and will never be found again in the right hands.

Yet please, if you happened to chance upon this one day, do know that despite the setbacks of this one-sided love, I still love you, Cloud Strife, and will always do. Please remember this. As long as you're happy, even though your happiness may not belong to me, I will be happy. Your happiness is my everything.

I love you always.

Love,

Aeris Gainsborough

**

As always

Mysterio000

p.s. the almighty one!