Title: Any Man Of Mine

Rating: PG

Spoilers: "The Broca Divide" Season One (Mentioned)

Season: Six

Summary: Sam strikes the first blow in her new romance war.

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate SG-1 or it's characters just barrowing for entertainment purposes. I also have no rights to Shania Twain's "Any Man Of Mine", I'm just barrowing, I only own the plot.

Author's Note: The war has begun! I hope everyone likes this one as much as they seemed to enjoy the last two chapters.

Key:

~ Sam's thoughts

// Jack's thoughts

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Sam grinned as she stood outside of what would soon become the first battle site of her newly declared war. She had gotten off of work a few minutes early so she could arrive and plot her attack.

~Oh Mr. O'Neill you will fall.~

"Sam, if you're done playing the evil villain from a bad action movie can we *please* go inside? It's freezing out here." Janet asked as her teeth clattered together.

"Sure let's go." Sam said, her grin widening as she and Janet headed into O'Malley's.

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"So you boys got anything planned for tonight?" Jack asked as he twirled his yo-yo in a circle. The motion only briefly caught Jonas' eye before he went back to his world wide weather web site and it didn't catch Teal'c's at all.

"We have nothing planned O'Neill." Teal'c said, never taking his eyes off of the magazine he was reading.

"Geez, what a couple of sad sacks." Jack said re-rolling his yo-yo string. "What do you say to a round at O'Malley's?"

"Sure." Both aliens replied without looking away from their projects. Jack took one more glance at his teammates before walking out the door.

//Geez I need to teach them to show some enthusiasm.//

After Jack left, Jonas glanced away from his computer screen and looked at Teal'c, "What did he call us?"

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"Sam, are you sure you want to go through with this? I mean this is far fetched and that's saying a lot in our line of work." Janet asked as she sipped her drink watching Sam walk across the small makeshift stage at O'Malley's.

"It's not like I'm going to have to sing Janet." Sam said as she stopped pacing.

"Sam, honey, think about this plan of yours. You are going to get up in front of everyone in this bar to lip-synch a song to Jack and you came up with that plan without even being drunk." Janet said as she took yet another sip of her drink.

"Janet I need to do something that will top anything Jack can do so that I can win." Sam grinned her evil grin again as she watched her friend finish her second drink.

"Sam, this started out of you wanting to tell Jack that you had feelings for him, then when he did it back you suddenly went insane and now this is a war." Janet said as she began to feel the effects of her drinks.

"Janet think about it, if I let Jack have something over me he'll never let me live it down. I mean he still brings up the virus situation around P3X797 and as he likes to call it, my "tank-top number"." Sam said as she jumped down from the stage.

"Well what do you expect? It's Jack." Janet asked as she ordered a third drink.

"You say that with distain but I do believe that one of the first things out of your mouth when we discussed him for the first time was how much you enjoyed giving him shots." Sam answered sitting down next to her friend.

Janet glanced at her with a clear look of confusion on her face and Sam suppressed a grin, "You said and I quote 'I love giving that man shots, he's got the tightest butt of anyone on the mountain, which is my preferable place to give them to him.'"

"Oh please, that is out of context and besides I was drunk." Janet said sipping her new drink.

"Sure Jan, whatever you say. I want to run though the show one more time." Sam grinned as she walked away.

~It's just not fair she's seen his butt and I haven't.~

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"Come on boys! Let's have ourselves some fun." Jack grinned as he waved to Jonas and Teal'c from the door of O'Malley's.

Jonas and Teal'c headed towards their beckoning teammate but something caught Jonas' eye, "Teal'c isn't that Sam's car?"

Teal'c glanced over his shoulder at the car in question before looking down at Jonas, "There are many people who drive that particular car Jonas Quinn."

Jonas glanced up at Teal'c, "Well if Jack invited us, why wouldn't he invite Sam? I mean we're teammates right?"

"According to O'Neill, he and Major Carter are currently doing battle." Teal'c replied as he adjusted his bucket hat.

"Why are they fighting? I mean I know it's over the whole romantic song thing but if they're in love and they've both done something romantic, why are they suddenly competing?"

"I believe the Tauri call such behavior flirting." Teal'c answered as he headed inside, leaving Jonas to figure out the rest on his own.

Once inside Jack, Teal'c and Jonas found a nice corner booth and settled in for a long night of whatever came their way, which was started by a round of drinks courtesy of Jack. Jonas took a few sips of his beer before his heightened Kelownan eyes caught the sight of a short brunette at the bar and he excused himself.

//Geez, what is it about that boy that is just odd...other than everything?//

"So Teal'c..." Jack began as he sipped his beer, "Do you know any really good romantic songs?"

Teal'c looked at his friend in his all-knowing manner and a small smile played at his lips, "I am not doing battle with Major Carter."

"Aw come on Teal'c! You know she's got the Doc helping her find songs!" Jack complained.

"But I am not Doctor Fraiser." Teal'c replied.

"But you could be *my* Doctor Fraiser." Jack said, his eyes glinting.

"I do not think so O'Neill. I would not look acceptable in white lab coats." Teal'c answered.

"Aw Teal'c this is not the time for your jokes!" Jack growled, angrier with himself for encouraging his friend to get a sense of humor but Teal'c just grinned at him.

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"So..." Jonas whispered into Janet's ear as he sat down next to the petite woman, "What does Sam have planned for Jack now?"

Janet jumped slightly as she turned around to find Jonas' ever grinning face grinning. "I can't say."

Jonas noticed that Janet's voice was slightly slurred and her posture betrayed her, "Janet how many drinks have you had?"

Janet eyed the younger man as she sipped the drink in her hand, "This is my fourth."

"How long have you been here?" Jonas grinned.

"Since Sam and I got off of work." Janet replied.

Jonas glanced down at his watch, remembering that he saw Sam sneak into an elevator at four-fifty and since it was now five-twenty he surmised that the kind doctor had had one to many.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" Jonas asked as he slid the drink from Janet's hand.

"Hey!" she cried rather indignantly as she pawed at Jonas' arm to give it back.

"Bartender, can we have two waters over here please?" Jonas asked as he handed the bartender Janet's drink.

"That was mine." Janet huffed as Jonas held out a glass of water to her.

"You'll thank me tomorrow." Jonas grinned as the doctor gave up her struggle and drank some water. Then suddenly she leaned over and put her head on his shoulder, snuggling in as she looked at the makeshift stage.

"Look at the stage Jonas, it's almost time." She murmured.

"Janet? What was in those drinks?"

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Sam stood behind the small curtain that kept her from the bright lights of the stage as she waited for her cue. Picking up the small shot glass on the table next to her she slammed it back just as one of the bartenders got up onto the stage to announce her little show.

~Don't even think about it Carter, just do it, you'll have all the time you need to imagine how stupid you look later, right now it's all about beating Jack. Here goes nothing.~

Sam's music started and she stepped out onto the stage.

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Teal'c grin had grown into a full-on smile as Jack continued to beg his friend for help when suddenly a bartender climbed up onto the makeshift stage across from them and pulled Jack's attention away from him.

"Ladies and gentleman, it is O'Malley's proud honor to present a special show to you tonight. Without further ado, Samantha Carter!"

//You have got to be kidding me; this has to be a different Samantha Carter. This *can't* be *my* Carter.//

Jack's chocolate brown eyes were locked onto the stage and his mouth slid open when sure enough, his Samantha Carter stepped out from nowhere holding a microphone in hand. She was wearing tight blue jeans with black leather boots and a tight baby blue shirt that she had tucked inside of the jeans. But none of that was a bigger shock than when music started playing and Jack realized what this was.

//Damn her! She probably did all this to top me but it isn't going to be that easy. I'll think of something.//

Jack watched her intently as she began to sing to the song.

This is what a woman wants...

Any man of mine better be proud of me

Even when I'm ugly he still better love me

And I can be late for a date that's fine

But he better be on time

Any man of mine'll say it fits just right

When last year's dress is just a little too tight

And anything I do or say better be okay

When I have a bad hair day

And if I change my mind

A million times

I wanna hear him say

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I like it that way

Any man of mine better walk the line

Better show me a teasin' squeezin' pleasin' kinda time

I need a man who knows, how the story goes

He's gotta be a heartbeatin' fine treatin'

Breathtakin' earthquakin' kind

Any man of mine

Well any man of mine better disagree

When I say another woman's lookin' better than me

And when I cook him dinner and I burn it black

He better say, mmmm, I like it that yeah

Jack was completely spellbound as his 2IC continued her "show" he watched intently while the back of his mind already began plans of revenge.

//True, this is going to be a tough one to top, but I can think of something.//

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Jonas sat wide-eyed at the show, ever so often pulling his gaze away from Sam to glance at Janet who was grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Anything you wish to share?"

"Oh, it's just something Sam said about Colonel O'Neill's butt." Janet said as she waved her hand dismissively at him. Jonas turned back to the show, filing that bit of information away for later.

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The song ended and Sam did a bow or two before she got off of the stage and headed over to the bar. She grabbed a napkin and scribbled something down before calling over a bartender and ordering two beers to be delivered along with the note to Jack's table. She positioned herself just right so he wouldn't be able to see her but she could see him when the drinks were delivered.

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Jack eyed the bartender curiously as he set down two new beers, "We didn't order these."

"I know, sir, but someone else paid for them and asked that they be delivered to this table along with this." The bartender replied handing the note to Jack before he walked away.

Jack opened the napkin to see the words, "See any good shows lately?" scribbled on it. He crumpled the paper and glanced around for Sam but he couldn't find her.

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~Ha! I got him.~

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//She thinks she's got me but all she did was up the stakes.//

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After Thought: Good, bad or ugly? Please review and let me know! Also if you have any song ideas I would love to hear them. Thank you.