Disclaimer: Aw, don't you guys know the drill by now

Disclaimer: Aw, don't you guys know the drill by now??? :Sighs dramatically: Ok, fine! I don't own 'em, I'm just borrowing, I'll give 'em back in time for next season, I promise! Just don't sue me; all you'll get are my school loans!

A/N: Yes, it's another post-finale fic! :Ducks to avoid flying objects: Don't look at me like that; what else do we have to work with? I know it's going to be moot soon, with the premiere and all, but I figure we can still make up our own versions; what else is fanfiction for? Anyway, I really wasn't going to write one; I can't even watch the finale, how was I supposed to write a post-finale fic? But you know how muses are; mine kept begging, and begging, and I finally gave in. :Tosses treat to DA muse: I've read a lot of fics where Max escapes and gets back to Logan, but most of those fics start from that point; I wanted to do one that examined her being in Manticore and the escape in more detail. So, this was born; enjoy!

A/N 2: A HUGE thank-you to my beta-readers, afan and Angel (aka angel_gurl); without them, this story would not be half as good as it is! :blows kisses: Thanks, chicas! Oh, and somewhere in this chapter is a reference to another fic called 'By Any Other Name', written by Kara. Bonus points if you can find it; it's kind of obscure! Ok, ok, enough yap – here it is!!!!

Finding a Way Back

Max lay quietly on the medical cot, listening to the sound of her heartbeat as it echoed throughout the room. 'Not my heart,' she reminded herself. 'Zack's heart.' A wave of emotion swept over her at the thought; remorse, sadness, guilt, and more, to the point where Max thought she would choke on it all. Memories of the attack on Manticore flooded her mind, with all her mistakes jumping out at her.

'I shouldn't have gone back for Brin,' Max berated herself angrily. 'If only I hadn't hesitated when I saw that X7; I should have moved faster when I saw the gun. If I had, Zack wouldn't have . . .' It brought tears to her eyes just to think of the sacrifice Zack had made for her. But no matter what happened, Max was determined to keep on fighting, to honor her big brother's memory.

They had left her alone with the heartbeat all night; she knew someone would be coming soon to check on her condition and start the inevitable reindoctrination. The door opened, and she looked over to see a face that was both familiar and sadly alien at the same time.

"Hello, Max." Brin said quietly. She carried a tray over and put it on the bedside table, then fixed Max with a firm stare. "If I untie your arms, will you eat this and not try to attack me? You'll only hurt yourself." Her tone was calm, but Max could hear the underlying threat.

As much as she wanted to hurl the tray and its offending bland military fare across the room, Max knew she needed her strength. "I'll eat," she said aloud, fighting to keep an even tone.

"Good." Brin undid the restraints, and then sat down in a chair next to the bed. She didn't speak while Max ate; when she was done, Brin refastened the restraints, picked up the tray, and headed for the door.

"What did they do to you, Brin?" Max asked just as her "sister" reached the door. "How can you be happy here? Don't you miss being outside, being free?"

"No," Brin replied, turning to face Max. "Manticore saved me. They reminded me of who and what I am. Here I can be who I was meant to be, without having to hide what I can do from anyone. It's more freedom than I ever had out there. You'll see, Max; they'll do it for you, and for Tinga as well."

"Tinga?" Max cried. "Brin, Tinga is dead."

"You're lying," Brin snapped, her eyes narrowing. "Tinga is being held at another facility so she can be treated for a defective genetic condition. As soon as she is well, she'll be returned here. Director Renfro told me so herself."

"And you believed her, of course. Have you even seen Tinga?" Max demanded. "Have you seen her since you turned her over to them? How could Renfro bring her back and not let you be there to help in her rehabilitation, or at least to show her what a perfect soldier you've become? Go find Tinga, Brin – but be careful. You may not like what you find."

Max searched Brin's face, trying to see if anything she said had reached her "sister", but the other woman's face was stony and impassive. Without another word, Brin exited the room. Sighing, Max dropped her head back to the pillow. She knew that the mental reconditioning would most likely begin soon, and she wanted to be ready for it.

'I'll need a defense,' she told herself. 'Something to build a wall around my mind so thick they won't be able to break it. Something to be my lifeline, so I don't drown in all their propaganda.' After thinking on that for a while, Max's mind wandered to an image of Logan, his bright blue eyes filled with love for her. Then it hit her. "His eyes," Max whispered. "I'll use Logan's eyes." She had always loved his eyes, so bright and full of life, of intelligence and a desire to make the world better. As if thinking of his eyes opened a gate, suddenly memories of Logan began to appear, one after another:

:The fire in his eyes as he argued with her to protect Lauren and Sophy Braganza:

:All the conversations they'd had about Manticore. Not once had she ever seen judgement or accusation in his eyes, only compassion and understanding:

:Their kiss outside his family cabin, when she thought she would never see him again. She could see his caring for her in his eyes, and that had scared her . . .:

:Just after their second kiss, on the floor of his apartment. The love in his eyes hadn't scared her this time, because she had come to terms with her feelings for him, and they had all the time in the world to tell each other . . . :

:Lying in his arms in the woods outside Manticore, just after being shot. She could see the terror in his eyes, and struggled to tell him, before it was too late . . . But there was no more time:

Max shook her head, pulling herself out of the memories. "Bring it on," she said aloud to the empty room. "I can take it." 'With Logan's help, I can do anything . . .'

Brin strode down the hall towards the workout room. Her face was placid, but behind the mask, her emotions whirled. She had never expected Max to be an easy convert; even as a child, her little sister had always been the most stubborn and independent of the group. 'I remember when she named herself Max,' Brin thought to herself, allowing a small smile at the memory. 'We all thought the guards were going to beat her. I was so proud of her for standing up to them . . .' Her sister had surprised her, however, with the depths of her duplicity.

'How could she lie to me?' Brin wondered. 'Using Tinga like that; how could she look me in the eye and tell me Tinga is dead? Is she that cold? I thought she cared about her family.' Reaching the training area, she positioned herself on a mat in the center of the room and began a meditative kata. The flowing movements usually cleared her mind and settled her doubts. This time, however, questions continued to surface. Director Renfro had made a point of having her involved in Max's rehabilitation into the Manticore family, telling her that she could be a positive and familiar influence on her lost and confused sibling. Tinga had been back in Manticore hands for over a week now, and Brin had yet to even see her. As she came out of the kata, Brin knew what she had to do. She would go to the Director and request permission to visit Tinga. Once she had proof that her sister was alive and well, it would be that much easier to break Max's resistance and bring her back to the fold as well. It was only a matter of time.

Back in Max's room . . .

"Good morning, X5-452. It's time to begin your rehabilitation," declared an overly cheerful tech as she wheeled a strange-looking device into the room. The cot was tilted up and Max's eyes were held open and directed at the far wall. She felt a needle sink into her flesh as familiar words began to flash on the wall: Duty, Discipline, Honor . . .

In Director Renfro's office . . .

"Ma'am?" Brin snapped to attention and saluted. "X5-734 requesting permission to visit X5-656, to assist in rehabilitation."

Ok, that's it! What will happen to Max? Stay tuned to find out! :Chuckles evilly: Don't worry, more is on the way very very soon!!!!! Put some words in that big blue box down there and let me know what you think! Be warned, flames will only be removed and used to toast marshmallows – mmmm . . . smores . . . .