~*~Silver Rain~*~
Chapter Three: Without Knowing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kikyou watched herself at the age of thirteen sitting in a field of flowers. She was wearing the miko uniform. The younger Kikyou fondled a flower in her hand. "I just don't want to be alone Mama."
A young woman stepped towards the smaller Kikyou, "You won't be Kikyou. Kaede will need to be watched after. She'll be with you."
The woman sat down next to Kikyou and pulled the girl onto her lap.
"Will Kaede become as beautiful as you, Mama?"
The woman nodded, "She'll need to be watched over, Kikyou. You'll make lots of friends as well, I'm sure."
"I won't make any friends. All the children will be afraid of me when I'm training as a Miko. They'll say I'm a witch. I'll miss you and Father when you die. Father will die because he'll be very sad that you died too."
Kikyou watched in shock that her younger self said those words with such little emotion of what now still caused her grief.
"Then Kaede will die in a fire Mama. I'll be all alone. I'll be sad all the time."
The woman hugged Kikyou, "You won't be alone Kikyou. Didn't you tell me you'd make friends with Kagome?"
"Yes but she's loud and air headed and her friends are loud too. They won't like me either."
"There will be someone, Kikyou. You're a very special person. You'll cause many people happiness."
The younger Kikyou nodded and looked at Kikyou, then to her mother, "I'll look like you Mama."
The woman hugged the smaller Kikyou, but Kikyou thought she felt the same embrace around herself, safe and secure, any and all pain she could remember was gone.
Kikyou sighed as she opened her eyes slowly, glancing over at Kagome in a peaceful sleep. It was only a dream. For her, it would be another restless night. She leaned back into her pillow. Sleep was useless. Kikyou tossed off the blankets then sat in front of the window, staring up at the stars.
The cd player in the room quietly played the Ningen-Youkai cd that Sango had given to Kagome. Kikyou found it strange that whenever she listened to Ningen-Youkai or heard them play, she seemed at ease. Then again she felt her emotions exposed to anyone who wanted to read them, which made her uncomfortable. She watched a falling star as a new track started playing.
"So many things happen,
And we don't know why.
We just sit back,
And let time fly by.
-
Without knowing
Where you are,
You let fate take over
Wherever you are.
There's nothing we can do.
You just go forward,
Without knowing,
What you'll do.
-
There was a girl,
Who thought she could fly.
You know-reach her dreams and,
Touch the sky.
-
Without knowing
Where she'll go,
She let's the stars guide her,
And lets her faith show.
There's nothing we can do.
You just go forward,
Without knowing,
What you'll do.
-
I've met broken hearts,
Including mine,
Love turns sweet to tart.
As lovers throw away the time.
-
Without knowing
Where I've been,
I just keep going,
And wait for my end.
There's nothing we can do.
You just go forward,
Without knowing,
What you'll do."
Kikyou heard Silver Rain start up. She sighed. Of all the songs she had ever heard Ningen-Youkai play, this was the song that held the most value to her. It was her hidden emotions that no one ever saw. She'd have to ask Inuyasha about what it meant one day. She gazed out her window, her attention not completely there.
The window gave a view of the streets and Spinning Petals, the neon letters giving off the only light on the street. Kikyou gentle hummed along with the music. The moon hung low and pregnant in the night sky, showing three figures on the front porch of Kikyou's favorite club. She squinted, seeing two of the figures wave to the third. The two mounted a motorcycle, then took off, the third figure started walking in the same direction humming to the same song Kikyou had running through her mind.
Kikyou jumped up, then ran down the stairs, still dressed in her pajama bottoms and tank top. She made it outside as the figure turned the corner.
"Inuyasha!" she called as his dark silhouette froze.
"Listen Kikyou, what ever I did, I didn't mean it. You didn't need to goes as far as to stalk me to get a sorry." He snapped.
Kikyou stood in front of Inuyasha with a small shade of anger to her usual sad face, "I live in that dorm room up there." She said, pointing to her window, "and I wasn't looking for an apology." She stated plainly.
"Oh. That's it?" Inuyasha asked shocked. He then noticed she was wearing her pajamas. "I was thinking that-"
"I was just trying to figure out why you didn't go with your band mates on the motorcycle. I saw you guys part at Spinning Petals out of my window. You said that you lived with them."
Inuyasha looked at her puzzled, then shifted the bag on his shoulder, "The bike's too small. I have a car I use. It's pretty old but it works." He shrugged as they walked around the corner. They halted next to an old-looking, beat up mustang.
Kikyou shifted her weight from foot to foot as she pushed her long hair behind her ears. Inuyasha tossed his bag into the back seat. Cassette tapes and cd cases littered the floor of the car. There were several chips of paint on the car and one of the doors looked as if it had been slammed too hard at one time.
He tilted his head at Kikyou, leaning against the open door, his eyes slightly narrowed, "So...why did I remind you of your sister or whatever?"
Kikyou lifted her eyes to his amber ones, "It was my sister. When she would annoy me, I'd get all authoritive on her. She'd then tell me I was acting as young and immature as her. It always managed to cheer me up."
Kikyou transferred her gaze to a dent in the car's hood. Inuyasha's eyes were so piercing, she was afraid he'd see more of her than she was willing to share with anyone.
"Do you see your sis often?" he asked.
"She died." Kikyou said, smiling bitterly.
"So what's your story oh attitudinal one?" she asked changing the subject.
"I have my life and you have yours. I don't have to tell you anything." He said, turning away from her.
Kikyou shrugged. So she wasn't like Kagome who could get someone to tell her their deepest secrets, but she had tried.
Inuyasha turned back to Kikyou, "You doing anything tomorrow?"
This statement caught Kikyou off guard, "What?"
"Sango wants to meet you. She remembers you from the other weekend and she liked your friend. What?" Inuyasha asked noticing Kikyou's confused expression, "You didn't think I was asking you out or anything did ya?"
Kikyou shook her head, "I don't do dates."
Inuyasha shrugged, "Neither do I. I'll see you tomorrow then." He started the ignition then drove off.
Kikyou watched him go. She had a feeling she was going to kick herself for that one. She'd just to keep acting like herself, like a real miko, then she'd get through. Wouldn't she? She wouldn't fall in love or anything like that right?
She wasn't so sure anymore. She felt that Inuyasha was prying where he wasn't wanted, but getting all the information he desired. She couldn't help it. His eyes were the key and every time she chanced an encounter with them, she felt exposed. Like her wall had been crushed into nothing but dust.
Even thought she felt Inuyasha knew everything, she would not fall into fate's cruel trap. All fate had ever brought her was pain and loneliness. She didn't need it a third time. Loosing her mother and father had been difficult, then losing Kaede had caused her to build her wall of solitude. Her hate grew into bitterness, and Kikyou knew she could never be the person she had been so long ago.
Kikyou sighed, walking back to her dorm. She didn't realize how deeply meeting Inuyasha would affect her life in the worst possible way. It would be her worst fear come true.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bearmoon: No notes just hoping you're enjoying this longer version. I hope that I'm doing okay. Please let me know. Kay? *eyes glaze over*
~Japanese Translations~
Miko- Shrine Maiden
Chapter Three: Without Knowing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kikyou watched herself at the age of thirteen sitting in a field of flowers. She was wearing the miko uniform. The younger Kikyou fondled a flower in her hand. "I just don't want to be alone Mama."
A young woman stepped towards the smaller Kikyou, "You won't be Kikyou. Kaede will need to be watched after. She'll be with you."
The woman sat down next to Kikyou and pulled the girl onto her lap.
"Will Kaede become as beautiful as you, Mama?"
The woman nodded, "She'll need to be watched over, Kikyou. You'll make lots of friends as well, I'm sure."
"I won't make any friends. All the children will be afraid of me when I'm training as a Miko. They'll say I'm a witch. I'll miss you and Father when you die. Father will die because he'll be very sad that you died too."
Kikyou watched in shock that her younger self said those words with such little emotion of what now still caused her grief.
"Then Kaede will die in a fire Mama. I'll be all alone. I'll be sad all the time."
The woman hugged Kikyou, "You won't be alone Kikyou. Didn't you tell me you'd make friends with Kagome?"
"Yes but she's loud and air headed and her friends are loud too. They won't like me either."
"There will be someone, Kikyou. You're a very special person. You'll cause many people happiness."
The younger Kikyou nodded and looked at Kikyou, then to her mother, "I'll look like you Mama."
The woman hugged the smaller Kikyou, but Kikyou thought she felt the same embrace around herself, safe and secure, any and all pain she could remember was gone.
Kikyou sighed as she opened her eyes slowly, glancing over at Kagome in a peaceful sleep. It was only a dream. For her, it would be another restless night. She leaned back into her pillow. Sleep was useless. Kikyou tossed off the blankets then sat in front of the window, staring up at the stars.
The cd player in the room quietly played the Ningen-Youkai cd that Sango had given to Kagome. Kikyou found it strange that whenever she listened to Ningen-Youkai or heard them play, she seemed at ease. Then again she felt her emotions exposed to anyone who wanted to read them, which made her uncomfortable. She watched a falling star as a new track started playing.
"So many things happen,
And we don't know why.
We just sit back,
And let time fly by.
-
Without knowing
Where you are,
You let fate take over
Wherever you are.
There's nothing we can do.
You just go forward,
Without knowing,
What you'll do.
-
There was a girl,
Who thought she could fly.
You know-reach her dreams and,
Touch the sky.
-
Without knowing
Where she'll go,
She let's the stars guide her,
And lets her faith show.
There's nothing we can do.
You just go forward,
Without knowing,
What you'll do.
-
I've met broken hearts,
Including mine,
Love turns sweet to tart.
As lovers throw away the time.
-
Without knowing
Where I've been,
I just keep going,
And wait for my end.
There's nothing we can do.
You just go forward,
Without knowing,
What you'll do."
Kikyou heard Silver Rain start up. She sighed. Of all the songs she had ever heard Ningen-Youkai play, this was the song that held the most value to her. It was her hidden emotions that no one ever saw. She'd have to ask Inuyasha about what it meant one day. She gazed out her window, her attention not completely there.
The window gave a view of the streets and Spinning Petals, the neon letters giving off the only light on the street. Kikyou gentle hummed along with the music. The moon hung low and pregnant in the night sky, showing three figures on the front porch of Kikyou's favorite club. She squinted, seeing two of the figures wave to the third. The two mounted a motorcycle, then took off, the third figure started walking in the same direction humming to the same song Kikyou had running through her mind.
Kikyou jumped up, then ran down the stairs, still dressed in her pajama bottoms and tank top. She made it outside as the figure turned the corner.
"Inuyasha!" she called as his dark silhouette froze.
"Listen Kikyou, what ever I did, I didn't mean it. You didn't need to goes as far as to stalk me to get a sorry." He snapped.
Kikyou stood in front of Inuyasha with a small shade of anger to her usual sad face, "I live in that dorm room up there." She said, pointing to her window, "and I wasn't looking for an apology." She stated plainly.
"Oh. That's it?" Inuyasha asked shocked. He then noticed she was wearing her pajamas. "I was thinking that-"
"I was just trying to figure out why you didn't go with your band mates on the motorcycle. I saw you guys part at Spinning Petals out of my window. You said that you lived with them."
Inuyasha looked at her puzzled, then shifted the bag on his shoulder, "The bike's too small. I have a car I use. It's pretty old but it works." He shrugged as they walked around the corner. They halted next to an old-looking, beat up mustang.
Kikyou shifted her weight from foot to foot as she pushed her long hair behind her ears. Inuyasha tossed his bag into the back seat. Cassette tapes and cd cases littered the floor of the car. There were several chips of paint on the car and one of the doors looked as if it had been slammed too hard at one time.
He tilted his head at Kikyou, leaning against the open door, his eyes slightly narrowed, "So...why did I remind you of your sister or whatever?"
Kikyou lifted her eyes to his amber ones, "It was my sister. When she would annoy me, I'd get all authoritive on her. She'd then tell me I was acting as young and immature as her. It always managed to cheer me up."
Kikyou transferred her gaze to a dent in the car's hood. Inuyasha's eyes were so piercing, she was afraid he'd see more of her than she was willing to share with anyone.
"Do you see your sis often?" he asked.
"She died." Kikyou said, smiling bitterly.
"So what's your story oh attitudinal one?" she asked changing the subject.
"I have my life and you have yours. I don't have to tell you anything." He said, turning away from her.
Kikyou shrugged. So she wasn't like Kagome who could get someone to tell her their deepest secrets, but she had tried.
Inuyasha turned back to Kikyou, "You doing anything tomorrow?"
This statement caught Kikyou off guard, "What?"
"Sango wants to meet you. She remembers you from the other weekend and she liked your friend. What?" Inuyasha asked noticing Kikyou's confused expression, "You didn't think I was asking you out or anything did ya?"
Kikyou shook her head, "I don't do dates."
Inuyasha shrugged, "Neither do I. I'll see you tomorrow then." He started the ignition then drove off.
Kikyou watched him go. She had a feeling she was going to kick herself for that one. She'd just to keep acting like herself, like a real miko, then she'd get through. Wouldn't she? She wouldn't fall in love or anything like that right?
She wasn't so sure anymore. She felt that Inuyasha was prying where he wasn't wanted, but getting all the information he desired. She couldn't help it. His eyes were the key and every time she chanced an encounter with them, she felt exposed. Like her wall had been crushed into nothing but dust.
Even thought she felt Inuyasha knew everything, she would not fall into fate's cruel trap. All fate had ever brought her was pain and loneliness. She didn't need it a third time. Loosing her mother and father had been difficult, then losing Kaede had caused her to build her wall of solitude. Her hate grew into bitterness, and Kikyou knew she could never be the person she had been so long ago.
Kikyou sighed, walking back to her dorm. She didn't realize how deeply meeting Inuyasha would affect her life in the worst possible way. It would be her worst fear come true.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bearmoon: No notes just hoping you're enjoying this longer version. I hope that I'm doing okay. Please let me know. Kay? *eyes glaze over*
~Japanese Translations~
Miko- Shrine Maiden
