I don't own any parts of Love Hina.

=Welcome=

Hi! Welcome to my room. Come in. Relax. Take off your shoes, your socks, your blouse….no, wait--sorry, got lost in the mood. You don't have to remove your blouse, but if it gets too hot, feel free to. I'll do it first--No? I'll do it later, then.

Um, I just wanted to introduce myself. I am known as the psychologist of my group of friends. Yes, the psychologist. I'm not really a psychologist, though, and it's good that I'm not one because the advice that I give is less than um…unpleasant. Personally, I like to film my friends as they take my advice. Secretly, of course. That way, I get to make a profit as I sell them to perverted---er---"special" businessmen.

Anyway, before you go into my secret videos, I thought I'd make a small intro to my standard group of friends. Each of them has two or three videos each.

The first one, my best friend, is currently in this love/hate relationship with this other guy. However, most of my videos aren't of those two…but I do have one that most people haven't seen…She has long hair that constantly blows in the wind. I don't know if it's the place she stands, but the wind always seems to be following her. And, at every crucial scene, it'd blow just perfectly. She's a bomb shell, and has really gigantic jugs. Yes, my friends, her chest is huge! Um, I'm getting off topic again…She wears glasses, sometimes, and has a semi-short temper. Her name is N. Narusegawa. No, wait, you might figure out who she is like that. How about Naru N.*

Next, is a small and shy little thing. She is always at the wrong places at the wrong times. I swear, she has the ability to walk in to the most perverted scenes despite her angelic appearance. You'd think something/someone would protect her from this…not me…She has short blue-ish hair that she claims she doesn't dye, and large eyes of the same color. She is often found in the kitchen cooking. Damn! can she cook. I tasted her pie the other day, (no, that's not a metaphor) and it's absolutely scrumptious! Her name's Shinobu.

There's this other girl who, most people would call her the "tomboy" of the group. She is always practicing her sword fighting or whatever that is. However, if I do say so myself, she's growing to be a sexy lady. Legs that stretch out to…I'm getting off topic again, aren't I. Long black hair and a calm face perfectly describes the really sexy lady. Her name's Motoko.

Then there's this hyper chick. She is foreign and is constantly building things that tend to explode. They're quite fun to use against…well, everyone. There are also some other useful items. I really love the suits she made a few years ago. It lets the wearer become invisible and shows off my body. It's perfect. Her name's Su.

How could I forget Mutsumi? A lot of things happen to this girl and she's a bit…um…aloof to what happens to her. I swear, she gets into some serous shi--wait, I wanna keep this at least PG-13...for now. Anyway, she has a serious rack, something that can rival the watermelons that she always carries around. She's always smiling, and, like me, likes the alcohol. Damn, alcohol is good! **

I also have one on a guy named Keitaro. Yes, a boy! Actually, this video isn't mine. It's home movies made by his mom who was glad to share it with me.

Lastly, is Haruka. It's hard getting videos on this lady because she's so private and sharp. But, I have a couple lying around. Anyway, don't tell her I told you, but she has that type of beauty called "classic beauty." She also tries to watch out for us, even though she doesn't act like it.

Well, those are the people that I have videos on. I tried to get a couple on Sarah and Kaneko, but they caught me. Why? Well, I wasn't exactly being quiet or trying to hide. Damn that monkey!--Sorry, off topic again.

Well, tell me which of those vixens entice you most. Who do you wanna see in the privacy of your home? Naru N? Shinobu? Motoko? Su? Mutsumi? Haruka? Keitaro?

Oh, by the way, my name's Kitsune if you were wondering. Don't worry, take your time. I wanna see what you pick.

==End Chapter==

*Gotten from an episode of the Simpsons.

**I wouldn't know. I haven't tried it.