I don't own any parts of Love Hina!
===
Ah! So you've picked the classy woman, Haruka Urashima. Nice choice and a good one to start with. I honestly have to tell you, I wasn't expecting her to be the first. Anyway, getting stuff on her was one of the hardest things I've had to do. I tried to set her up on several occasions but she caught me...except for this one…sorta. Trust me, with all the camera's I used, you've got nothing but quality.
So, on to the movie, right? Where's my pay?
Just kidding, just kidding. You don't have to get your underwear in a twist. I could do that for you!
Hehehehe. Anyway, I know how this thing works. You've gotta sample just a little bit before you buy anything, right? Alright. Here we go.
*pops the movie into the video cassette player. Odd noises and moans are being heard with a steamy scene that makes Kitsune blush hard.*
Oops! Wrong video. Gotta destroy that one, later. Unless you wanna see it... It's called The Choir Boys Are Singing.
Haruka, still? Oh, alright. She might kill me if she knows I showed this to you, but a woman's gotta make a living, right?
*rummages through more videos*
Oh, this is the one. *pulls out a video labeled, The Shovel and the Lost Melon Ball. *
Without further ado, I give you Haruka's Tale.
=Haruka's Tale=
Softly, the wind descends upon a small building standing near Hinata Inn. As the camera starts to pan over the small Japanese style tea building, Haruka stands outside in her usual black sweater, khaki shorts, brown stockings and apron. She reaches deep into her pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. With a flick of her wrist, a cigarette pops out of the box and she places it on the bottom of her lip. She then searches for some matches.
Suddenly, off in the distance, a crash is heard. It echoes throughout Hinata, causing most of the residence to duck and hide. However, Haruka stands perfectly still and lights her cigarette from the flames that erupt from just behind her. Su bounces by, following a small flying turtle with a large cannon like object. "Give me back my Stinky PETE!" Su yells at the turtle, Tama.
"Sh!t, they're noisy today," Haruka murmurs. She turns on her heel and walks back into the building. Suddenly, she stops and turns to look over her shoulder. "Damn it, Kitsune, quit video taping me. I thought I said I'd throw that thing away if you didn't stop."
"Sorry, Haruka," Kitsune murmurs and drops the camera to her side. "I promise I won't do it again. Have you seen Su by the way?"
"She just past by." Haruka goes back into the tea house as Kitsune runs toward the area where Su had headed.
Kitsune found Su sitting on top of the turtle. "Did you and Sarah put the cameras into Haruka's room, bathroom, and all over the tea house."
Sarah pops out from a floor board with dirt covering her face. "Course we did."
Su bounces to a television set and turns it on. "You can see everything from here."
Kitsune grins and cracks her knuckles. "Good. Let's watch what's happening. Sarah, send in your papa."
===
At first, all you see in the television screen is static, a spoon, and someone's nose. It eventually clears up so you can see what's happening in Haruka's room.
Haruka sits in her room staring at an old tattered picture of her and Sarah's mother. She grins sadly and briefly before she sticks it back into an old book that Seta had given her. "The past," she murmurs softly and turns around. Suddenly, her eyes grow wide as she sees Seta standing at the foot of her bed.
Trying not to blush, Haruka raises her arms in a defense position as Seta's eyes catch hers. "What the hell do you want?" she asks in her usual uncaring voice.
"What don't I want?" He raises his eyebrows.
"You're askin' for it." Haruka's eyebrows turn down as she watches him closely. Suddenly, she drops her hands and smirks. "You're planning something, aren't you?"
He winks and takes a few steps closer to her. He grins knowingly as he realizes that she isn't taking any steps back.
Seta stands over Haruka, his eyes burrowing into hers. "Haruka," he whispers softly. His breath stirs the ends of Haruka's face and hair, tickling her for a moment.
"Seta…" Haruka's voice sounds breathless in the large room.
===
"Oh crap, he's gonna do it!" Kitsune cries out as she half stands and starts shaking the television. "I'm gonna be out 20 bucks!"
Sarah stares curiously at the fox-eyed woman. "What did you bet on?"
Kitsune drops back into her seat and shakes her head. "That Seta wouldn't be able to kiss her."
"YOU BET ON HARUKA?" Sarah screams. "She's gonna kill you!"
"Yes," replies Kitsune who now sits resigned to her fate. She picks up a knife that was left on the table and brings it to her neck. "But it was a good life so I don't mind."
"YOU'RE ALREADY GIVING UP?" Sarah yells while she kicks the knife out of Kitsune's hand and replaces it with a spork. A plastic spork.
===
"Seta…" Haruka repeats as Seta's head slowly starts to descend.
SMACK! Her knee makes contact with his crotch. "What exactly are you trying to pull?"
Seta doubles over, his usual smile becoming strained. "I think my testicle just got inverted… get me my spork…" he grumbles before he passes out.
Haruka frowns and slowly turns. She cocks her head to the side as if she's listening for something. Then she sighs. "Crap, Kitsune, I thought I told you to stop…"
===
Kitsune takes a look at the spork, "Wait, what's this spork used for?"
=+=
HA!
*Kitsune takes the tape out of the VCR.*
I said that I'm only going to give you a SAMPLE. Did you like it? Do you wanna buy it? $20.99 *whispers* times 10 to the 30th power *out loud while music plays in the background as she uses the tape to cut a piece of bread* or two easy payments of $29.99 plus shipping and handling!
No? Want something cheaper? Well, I still have Keitaro, Naru, Su, Motoko, Mutsumi, and Shinobu. Would you like to sample some of those before you make your choice?
Fine.
Who?
===
Meanwhile…
Haruka stares at Kitsune's window and narrows her eyes. "Something's not right…" she whispers.
"What's wrong, Haruka," asks Motoko who had just finished training. She wipes the sweat off of her brow and stares at the older woman for a minute.
Haruka shrugs. "Just a bad feeling."
"What?"
Haruka grins and glances up at Motoko. "Maybe it's nothing. Never mind."
==End Chapter==
