I don't own any parts of Love Hina.
===
Kitsune: WHAT??? What do you mean you'd like to see Tama-chan fall in love??? You're one sick and perverted…WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! Don't leave. I never said that I didn't have anything on Tama-chan. If that's how your taste is gonna sway, whom I to say that you're a pervert. Hell, I recorded a turtle love session for crying out loud.
Kitsune: So, will you stay?
Kitsune: Thanks.
Kitsune: I think it's the one with Motoko, since you also wanted Motoko, in it…but I'm not sure…now where'd I put that?
*rummages through her video collection*
Kitsune: Let's see…*mumbles* not G String Snaps Back…not Eternal Happiness: The Ten Second Reunion… Banana's in Pajamas?! How the hell did this get here?
Kitsune: Hmmm. Not here. Hold on, I'll be right back. I think I left it down in the…um…I'll be right back. *bursts out of the room, shuts the door, and runs down the stairs*
*While she is gone, the door knob slowly turns and the door opens. In walks Haitani Masayuki, his face a bit red and his eyes closed for the moment. He carries with him a bouquet of nearly dead flowers.*
Haitani: Kitsune, I'm here to fix the problem of your lack of suitors…
*His eyes pop open and he is confronted with all the people reading this story.*
Haitani: Huh? What's going on here? Who are you? Don't tell me this is going to be a mass orgy! Is it? Cuz then I'm in! *he starts to strip.*
Haitani: Wait, she's showing you guys videos of the Hinata girls? You want to see Tama? Well, I have it with me right now! But let's rewind it to see a bit of me in there. Hmmm? Why do I have it? Uh….*Pops in Video* I'll go and find Kitsune…
*The video starts to play, the bass guitar at full blast.*
=+=
Secrets in the Bedroom
Motoko stands in the middle of the steps to Hinata. Her eyes, large and luminous, are lost in thought as she debates whether or not to go back home and train. A lot of things has been happening to her as of late. Her wanting to go to Tokyo University, her rising love for someone, her growing up…she sighs and turns on her heel.
"Motoko, right?"
She turns around, her hair flying in the wind (very Naru-like). Her eyes clash with that of Haitani, a tall man who hung out with Urashima in the beginning of the series then mysteriously disappeared for awhile.
Motoko's eyebrows snap down in anger. She didn't want to deal with anyone right now, least of all him.
She reached down, forgetting the fact that she had left her sword at home since it wasn't allowed at school.
Haitani coughs and blushes. "I just wanted to say that I'd love to get a picture of you and men with a couple of other girlAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Motoko's foot makes contact with his crotch and he goes flying off in another direction.
Motoko grinned and went up to her room.
===
Everything was a mess. There were papers strung everywhere, her sheets stripped from her bed, and her books lay haphazardly on the floor…and some on the ceiling. What had happened?
Motoko quickly went to her closet where she pulled out her sword. It couldn't have been a burglary, otherwise they would have taken her sword and armor. Her eyes darted every which way, making sure to catch every slight movement. There, in the corner under the sheets.
Using her toe, she flipped the sheets aside and brought her sword down to stop mere inches away from her intruder.
Tama lay in a sexy pose drinking from a little sake cup that had to belong to Kitsune.
The turtle's head swung and stared at Motoko.
Motoko felt her hands begin to shake and the same feeling of nastiness growing at the pit of her stomach. Then the turtle winked and all hell broke loose.
She swung her sword trying her best to smash the small turtle, but, even though Tama was drunk, it avoided the attacks easily and landed on Motoko's shoulder. Quickly, the turtle leaned in and kissed Motoko on the lips.
"Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" the dark haired girl screamed. She thrashed her sword to the side, it flying into the camera causing the seen to blur.
"DON'T CRAWL IN THERE, YOU SICK TURTLE!"
Suddenly, the camera goes black.
=+=
Kitsune: So, I hear that Haitani had the video the whole time. How'd you like it? Really? I would give it to you, but this one belongs to Haitani. But, for a small fee, I'm willing to sell it.
Kitsune: Where is he? Let's just say his pencils are of use in a place that contains no school.
Kitsune: So, I still have a few more movies that you could see: Keitaro, Naru, Mutsumi, and Su are still on the market!
===
Location: Secret Base, a.k.a. Tea House.
Motoko sits across from Keitaro, Su, Shinobu, Naru, Mutsumi, and Sarah. All of them look solemn and withdrawn.
Motoko coughs in her hand to get everyone's attention. "I think Kitsune is showing various videos of us for profit."
Mutsumi grins her simple grin and says, "Fu, fu, fu, how nice of her!"
Keitaro shakes his head vigorously. "Nothing but nice, Mutsumi! It has all our mishaps!"
Sarah nods abruptly. "We have proof. When I was wandering by her room, I heard the words: 'DON'T CRAWL IN THERE, YOU SICK TURTLE!'" Sarah shakes her head. "I just can't place the voice…and who in their right mind would let a turtle that close?"
Motoko blushes as Naru jumps up and slams her fist on the ground, inadvertently causing a few cracks to appear on the floor. "We have to stop her! She might show that video of me and that sock puppet!"
"You think you have it bad?" Keitaro counters. "She has video of me and that transvestite! I DIDN'T KNOW!!!!!!!!" Keitaro falls into his own little world of agony as the other residents continue to talk about the situation.
"We should stop her," Shinobu starts up, holding her frying pan very close to her chest. "She might show the video of Su and that stripper!"
Su grinned. "I made that stripper for Kitsune's present but she did something to it! I called him the Pelvic Thruster 5000!"
Motoko cringed. "Whatever it is, we have to stop her immediately. Anyone have a plan?"
=End Chapter=
