I don't own any parts of Love Hina
===
Kitsune: Oh man, I shouldn't have drank that sake; should've known anything that I find underneath a pile of old thongs owned by Granny Hina shouldn't be touched. Damn, what day is it today? I have such a migraine! Now, let's see if there's any damage to the goods…legs still shaved…bra still on…butt still perky…
She notices audience and freezes in the poking and prodding of herself.
Kitsune: I'm sorry, did you want to feel? No…? Are you sure, it feels quite nice, if you ask me.
She sits down and rubs the drool off her chin.
Kitsune: So, what day is it today? You're kidding me! That means I must have been out for over a month! Why didn't you wake me? Were you too busy taking pictures of this glorious body? I'm just kidding…you weren't were you? Oh, as long as you give me money, I don't mind. So where were we? Ah, yes, the videos. Well, I have Mutsumi and Keitaro right now so, let's see the hands for Keitaro…uh-huh, now, Mutsumi…oh, yeah…there we go, we have a winner. Mutsumi goes first, than Keitaro, and as the grand finale, Su and her amazing, and I do mean amazing robot…
She pops tape into VCR.
Kitsune: Man, do I have to use the restroom. Be right back.
===
Dirty
===
She felt hot and sweaty after her ordeal with the turnip and the garden. It had proven tougher than she had ever thought, and she was now ready to relax in a nice steamy bath tub full of water. She practically grinned at the thought, then clapped her hands. "Ara, now to take a nice bath!"
She began to walk down hill, because up hill required too much work. She headed into an area filled with women who were waiting at a corner for someone. They all looked so fanciful, dressed up in mini skirts, tight, low cut shirts, and heavy, heavy, makeup. They appeared to be in need of a cab or something, since they were constantly haling drivers off the side of the road. Frowning, she stepped to the edge and decided to help them get a ride.
As she waved her hand, her skirts billowed up in the wind and several drivers instantly stopped. One of them even stopped in front of her and opened his door for her to get in.
His grin grew wider as he looked at her delectable body. "Do you need any help?"
Mutsumi smiled. "Well," she began as she moistened her lips, "I feel really dirty, sir," she said in a hushed tone.
"I bet you do."
"Will you help me?"
The man couldn't help but pull her arm into his car and start to drive.
"Oh, I know a place that is just delicious, can you take me there?"
The man nodded as drool slipped down his chin.
In a few seconds, they were at Hinata Hotel/Dorm. Outside, Kitsune, who was hiding in the shrubs, had focused her camera on the approaching car, had a few in each of the bedrooms and one in the hot spring. She wasn't about to miss anything. Dusting her hands, she wiped them on her pants and hopped off, to distract some of her roommates, more importantly, Kanako and Naru who would disapprove of this invasion of privacy. "Talk about invasion," Kitsune remarked to herself and left.
Mutsumi got out of the car and the man, who reminded her a lot of a rat, slipped out and followed her. She turned her head slightly, seeing the man still behind her, she smiled. "Ara, do you want to come in?"
"Excuse me?" he asked, not truly believing his ears.
"Come in?"
"May I?" he asked, a perverted sensation exuding from his body at her words. She led him inside, ready to go up the stairs when Naru with a Kitsune trying to push her back, opened a door and saw Mutsumi.
"HI!" Naru said as she saw Mutsumi and the man.
Kitsune ground her feet into the floor and yelled, "Get back into that room, you naughty girl! You're ruining all my hard work! I'm not finished yet!"
A hungry and selfish look flashed over the man's face at the thought of two girls…oh, man! No one would believe him if they saw this.
"Excuse me," the man muttered, "Where's the bathroom? I must," he cleared his throat, "shine my flute."
"Shine your flute?" Mutsumi asked, "I didn't know you had instruments with you. Will you play something for us?"
"I'm a little shy to…er…perform in front of anyone."
"Oh," Mustumi said a little crestfallen, "I would have loved to watch you shine your flute. I wonder, how much do you shine it each day?"
Naru, intrigued by this conversation, stood next to the man with a wondrous look in her eyes. "Yes, do you have to shine it a lot?"
Kitsune had fallen into hysterics by that time and had to hide in her room, tears streaming down her face.
===
Kitsune: So, how was it? Yea, I know nothing really happened after that, but Naru and Mutsumi got really interested in the whole politics of a band and forgot about everything else. They even started ignoring the poor bugger who lost his shiny flute within seconds and went home feeling dejected. Poor loser.
Anyway, now we have the second to last tape: Young Keitaro. But, I would like a special someone to introduce this tape, since they taped it. She'll be here on Monday (meaning we shall have the next video shown by then). For now, let's party. I found more sake underneath this loose floor board…
===
Location: Secret Base AKA Tea House
Haruka waited and waited and waited. For over a month, Naru had been beating her nephew nonstop. Finally, as the sweat at her brow beaded, her movements grew sluggish and she stopped, falling next to Motoko.
Haruka leaned casually against the wall and said, "Now that you're done, did any of you formulate a plan to get the tapes?"
None of them said a word.
Haruka reached into her pocket and pulled out a cigarette. She lit it slowly and took a deep breath, taking the smoke into her body, then letting it go with a sigh. Turning to Su, who was staring wide eyed at her, Haruka whispered, "Plan 347293 should work." Haruka tossed her cigarette to the ground and stomped on it, leaving the rest of the girl's and a bloodied Keitaro behind.
Su suddenly popped up with her evil smirk. "Plan 347293! I forgot about that!" Turning to the rest of the girls, she said, "Shinomu and Turtle Lady, find Tama, Naru and Keitaro, get some uniforms for us, Sarah, follow me, we need to get to our plans in my room by night fall…or tomorrow…By next week, we shall have all the videos in our clutches! Nyahahahahahahahahaha!"
The group grinned (well, Keitaro deflated) and split up. The 347293 plan never failed.
