The snake who lived

Book 2: The Chamber of secrets

"Come… Come to me… let me rip you… let me tear you… let me kill you…"

The Basilisk, Harry Potter et la Chambre des Secrets, page 132

Thanks to: VMorticia, for betaing this chapter!

Chapter 6: Chasing the dragon


~~~

Excerpt from Harry Potter's diary, 03/09/92

I've found something worse than Lockhart. Yup, and I still can't believe I just wrote that, but it's true. I'm starting to really hate being famous. I mean, if I had known that surviving getting hexed by Voldemort came with being unable not to be noticed in public, constant finger-pointing and even worse, groupies like Colin Creevey, I would have quit.

…Oh, right. I didn't get a choice.

I just came back from Quidditch tryouts. And boy, did stuff happen. I'll write everything down from memory, since I can still remember everything that happened.

It was a bit cold, there was some rather rough wind and it was drizzling slightly. Not the best Quidditch conditions. Flint kicked Montague off the team, simply because he missed a pass last year. So there were tryouts for Chaser this morning.

Flint is crazy; he divided the team in two, with two chasers on each sides, with some guy called Felwood as a keeper on the other side. Problem is, our two ancient Chasers were on the same team. Of course, I was all alone. I was supposed to look for the snitch, but after the sixth time, I got bored. Playing against no one is boring, but watching the tryouts wasn't.

I guess it shouldn't have been much of a surprise, but I was still stunned when Draco came in carrying a brand new, prototype version Nimbus 2001 on his shoulder. A bit more when he slipped it under him and started flying it expertly. I mean, I knew he was a good flyer, but it is a new broom. He told me afterwards that it tends to take turns too wide; not a big problem for beaters or chasers, but for keepers and Seekers, who tend to have to veer quickly to either stop a quaffle or follow the snitch, it would have been difficult. 

There were others who were quite good, but Draco was by far the best. His aim is almost perfect, even if he tends to play Rambo a bit too much. When a chaser does fifteen shots for twelve passes, there's a problem.

Flint was about to let someone else on the team for that exact reason when a letter came in, from Lucius Malfoy. After that one, he let Draco on the team with a warning that "Heroism is for Gryffindors. Underhanded passes and feints are a Slytherin's method!". I was almost tempted to add using steel-reinforced beater bats on the opponent's heads, but I kept it quiet.

Odd thing, he had an odd smirk on his face, as if Christmas had come early five days in a row. More is going to come out of this, I know it.

~~~

The air was unusually cold that Friday, two days after the events of September 2. After the disastrous first Defense against the dark arts lesson and Percy Weasley's rather extreme reaction to Ginny's house placement, it was due time for some action at Hogwarts. After all, they had enjoyed two full days of – relative – peace and quiet, which was about a record at Hogwarts.

And action began that morning, when an unfortunate owl afflicted with a bright canary yellow ribbon around it's neck flew down at the Slytherin table, depositing a letter directly in Blaise's face as she was about to take her first sip of cereals, effectively causing her to spread the milky food all over her face.

"Why you little!! I'm going to make barbecue out of you for that one!!" The girl hissed, making a grab for the owl, which sagely decided that evasive action was the best route.

Harry, sitting just beside the dark-red haired girl, decided to move her cereals away from her before she spilled the rest of it, then took the letter and checked it's content.

"Uh ho." He mumbled, feeling the girl's mood would not improve anytime soon.

To Miss Zabini,

Your detention will take place in my office at 7:00.

Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin 3rd class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, Modest Five-Time Winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile award

"Gimme that." The girl sighed, making a grab for the letter, which Harry reluctantly let go.

Not a minute later, her enraged shriek came through the thick doors of the great hall.

"I had forgot that!!" The girl grumbled, pulling her cereals toward her…

…just as Lockhart himself, dressed in deep turquoise robes, burst through the doors with a very loud "BANG".

Causing the cereals to be pulled a bit too close. So close, in fact, that the bowl fell on the floor and that icy cold white milk suddenly stained the lap of the girl's black robes, and let's not forget effectively waking her legs up through shock treatment.

She hadn't even calmed down when the group left the great hall. The few rather displaced comments about the young girl having white stains all over her dress, while being flanked by both Harry and Draco, were met by ferocious bark from the furious inspiration for sedatives.

Only the two boys' intervention prevented those barks from becoming bites.

"Harry, note this down somewhere: I swear that by the end of the year, I will make Lockhart regret he's ever heard the name of Zabini!" The girl hissed as they neared the common room. She was not going to class looking like she had done something very inappropriate for her age.

"Ah… sure." Harry said, making a mental note to write it down, along with a dozen orders of sedatives… whale-knockers should be strong enough to at least calm her down… right?

~~~

Excerpt from Harry Potter's diary, evening of 04/09/92

I swear, Lockhart's attempting to get himself killed on purpose. There's no way anyone can be this oblivious. And still be alive, I mean. Pissing off an entire year of Slytherins is a dangerous thing – well, maybe not Pansy and Millicent, they don't hate him… yet. – but to piss off Blaise like that is even worse. The only time I've ever seen her this angry is… is… never, actually.

If I didn't hate the idiot myself, I'd start to pity Lockhart. But seeing as I despise him so much I'd gladly yank his teeth out of that annoying smile with no sedatives and a rusted pair of blacksmith tongs, I'll refrain from commenting.

Blaise is currently away, doing the detention he gave her. Knowing him, it's probably being forced to read parts of his books while he listens and showers in the praise.

I have no idea how those things managed to get on school. I'm going to… ugh… *QUOTE* one bit of 'Wandering With Werewolves', right here. I mean, c'mon! You have to LOOK for the way to defeat whatever monster there is!!

            It was then that I, Gilderoy Lockhart, made the brilliant connection that can only come from a mind such as mine. Our suspicious guide was none other than one of the creatures he had been 'guiding' me to!

"Back away, werewolf!" I heroically called, brandishing a silver knife. The pose was magnificent, with the sun reflecting off my long mane of golden hair, my charming smile shining beautifully as always.

"Gilderoy!" Mathilda screamed with alarm; she didn't have to fear anything. I, Gilderoy Lockhart, am an expert in such situations.

Our guide let out a growl and, to my surprise, suddenly arched his back and transformed before my very eyes! Oh, it was a terrible, terrifying sight. It looked like a failed attempt at Animalgy. Snarling with nearly five inches long fangs, standing about six feet taller than me, with powerful claws that raked the holy grounds we were standing on, it would have terrorized anyone not used to such situations.

            Fortunately, I came prepared, if ever such a situation came.

            Guiding it's attention away from Mathilda, I heroically charged forward, knife at the ready. Before it could lift one of it's wicked, twisted claws, I had it's throat beneath my blade.

"You shall not terrorize anymore innocent victims, you infernal, twisted fiend! I, Gilderoy Lockhart, herby banish you back to the hell that spawned you!"

            And as my knife pierced it's throat, it let out a final, guttural and agonizing howl. It was dead before it fell to the ground.

"Did… did you have to kill it?" Mathilda asked me, her beautiful face twisted in sadness and regret.

I felt ashamed of myself; such an innocent, beautiful person should never have been exposed to the horror that is a Werewolf. The sight of fear in her eyes only steeled my resolve; this land would be free of all those terrible monsters, even if I had to kill a thousand of them!

And I stop right here. Let's just say that he kills all the werewolves in unbelievable and obviously fake fashions, then gets the girl, as usual. He'd be better – but not by much – at writing novels – that don't include himself, that is – not schoolbooks!!  What was Dumbledore thinking, I have no idea. I'm starting to agree with the rumors. Our headmaster is barking mad.

I learned what the letter was all about yesterday. Flint reassembled the team on the Quidditch field this morning – after chasing the Gryffs out of there first. Lucius Malfoy had given us a present.

Our whole team have Nimbus 2001s now. I'm not going to use mine, though. I said I felt better flying my old broom. In all honesty, I think I'd rather dance on the Hufflepuff table butt-naked than accept a gift from that man.

On the other front, there's what Draco and I now call the "Weasleys Are Ridiculously Thick" situation, WART for short – don't ask, he came up with it – Percy's not the most popular guy at school right now – not that he ever was. His actions two days ago made most people mad at him; the Weasleys are well known around here and most of them are liked. From what I've seen, most people are on Ginny's side.

Weird enough, a Ravenclaw prefect called Clearwater reacted more strongly than anyone else. She slapped him at lunch time today, yelling "We're through!". Did Percy have a girlfriend? Well, if so, he doesn't anymore.

I still haven't had the chance to talk to Ron or the twins, but it's in my priorities.

Ginny looks ok, for now. She's getting to know her dorm mates at the moment, sitting on the couch in front of the fire. I can overhear them, but just barely. Xu Chang's talking right now. I'll try to write it down, but any mistakes are to be forgiven. Her accent is thick!!

"Six brothers, eh? I almost wish I had at least one. Only family I have is mama" er.. how to I write that name… Kaeeshee? Anyways. ", 'High and mighty Englishwoman' half-sister Cho. That and squib uncle and cousin Plum, but they live at Jusenkyo, in China. Is in middle of nowhere, Tsinghai region, just edge of Himalaya. We barely visit." 

Or something like that. She's a bit too far for me to hear correctly. Oh, it's almost time for Blaise's detention to end. I think I'd better fetch her before she kills something.

~~~

It was nearly curfew. The sky outside was dark and cloudy, it was raining a bit, with autumnal mist covering the lake and most of the grounds. All and all, it looked rather eerie. Especially since the owlery owls were mostly all out hunting, and their hooting could be heard all the way to the window out of which Harry was staring.

"C'mon, she should have been out half an hour earlier…" Harry grumbled, giving a look at his watch, then at the closed door bearing a sickeningly grinning picture of Lockhart in front of him.

The only sound he could hear coming from the other side of the door was Lockhart's voice, talking loudly, probably gloating. Every now and then, a rich, frank laugh could be heard. But never Blaise's.

'This must be pure hell.' Harry noted.

He couldn't help but feel intense pity for his closest friend. He was tempted, every time he heard the evidently retarded man's laugh, to bust through the door and help Blaise out of there. However, the last thing he wanted was to be stuck in the same situation. With resign, he forced himself to grip the windowsill with both hands, attempting to calm himself with the cold air blowing through the slightly open window.

A tickling on his right hand startled him into looking down, only to see a spider run over his hand, reach the edge of the window and jump off, hanging from a thread.

Harry didn't really mind spiders; after living ten years with them, they felt more like unwanted neighbors than the disgusting eight-legged freaks some people thought about them. So, he knew it wasn't that which caused him to stare at the small non-insect.

It was the speed at which it had ran, as if in hunger for a huge meal on the other side of the finish line in front…

…or in panic from a horrible, terrifying danger behind.

He made a mental note to tell Snape later. After all, the man had asked him to report anything odd going on. And that definitely scored as odd.

The door suddenly opened, allowing a young Zabini who was literally glowing with anger to get out. Harry barely had time to see the back of the blonde author before said door slammed shut, causing the picture hanging from it to hold itself on the frame.

Harry saw she was about to launch in a tirade against Lockhart. Wisely, he motioned for her to be silent and guided her away; no need to have her get another detention. However, as soon as they were far enough, the girl exploded like a dynamite.

"That idiot was so busy talking about himself and bragging that he let me off an hour too late!! Now we'll be lucky if we don't get caught by Filch!"

"What did he make you do?" Harry asked in curiosity.

Curiosity killed the cat, therefore, Gryffindors should be careful.

"That good for nothing egomaniac made me reply to his fan-club!! You cannot believe how DISGUSTING most of them were!!" She raged on, before smirking. "'course, that gave me the best possible way to start a proper payback…"

"Uhm?" Harry asked, before turning to the wall in front of them. "Patricius."

"Let's just say I didn't quite write what he would say…" Blaise said with an evil smirk as the wall moved out of the way, revealing their common room. "I mentioned he was gay, that he was impotent, a fake, among other things. Most of them were female, so I've had my fun at it."

Harry couldn't help it. Thinking of the girl's reactions at receiving letters like that caused him to burst out laughing, completely careless that he'd wake half the dungeons in the process.

He was so amused and distracted by it, in fact, that he completely forgot about spiders.

ANSWERS TO THE FOAM SLIPPING THROUGH THE DRAIN OF THE REVIEWERS'S BATH:

Ae Faustino: Thanks! I think the same way about Slyth Ginny. She'll be VERY different than miss "silent shadow" she was in the books. Yes, there will be improvements on their relationship. Hehe, sore wa himitsu desu! *Gets sued by Xelloss*

Ian: Well, it's more original than other things I've seen.

TimGold: "Funny chapter this one is"… Erm… You got any family relations with Kenshin de Gozaru ka?

Angel-in-disguise: *Blink* Chicka? Erm… I'm a guy. Thanks, I'll need it for my Ranma ½ fic, too ^_-. Heh, I liked it too. It sounded like something Draco and Emma would do ^_-. I'll check it out. Thanks.

Flummox: Hehe, yes, I'm evil. Making you all wait for a full month… now here's something only a demon would do. Let's just say I was busy reading a 200 pages Ranma fic, making an RPG game, playing with both Diablo II xpac and RPGmaker 2003 (which ROCKS!!!). Add to it writing this, Oath sisters and Kuraikka, I haven't had much time on my hands ^_-. Heh, in love with me? *Smirks* Unless you're a guy, you're welcome ;P

Blackheart Sayoran: Sorry for mistyping your name last chappie. Read a book you think is lame? Here's a trick, MST it mentally. It's the best way. ^_-. Unless it's a romance sap. Ugh. I DO support H/G and like it. But things will get more complicated than that, especially end book 3, mid book 4. Can't say for book 5 yet. ^_-. I'm a guy, so I'm a master. And a modest one, too. ^_-. I will! Don't worry. Hmmm……

Devonny Rose: Thanks, I like to think I'm rather good at AUs. Thanks for reassuring me, they just feel heavily out of character to me. *sigh*. Heh, he's got a debt, he intends to repay it. B'sides, she helped him out of trouble.

Raistlin of Metallica: Damn right about that.

VMorticia: Same here, same here… gotta love lines you're not sure how to take… *smirk* Geez, you just sent me a shortie, ne? *pout* one line?! Well, I guess that's your revenge on me not checking you out in a while. *Checks out* Hmm… nice figure… I mean, nice updates! *Blink* Oh great, I'll start calling those updates. *sighhh* And then, everyone will start staring at me and… *blink* erm, rambling. Thanks for reviewing!

Eriee: I was saying the same thing. FINALLY I updated. Hehe, that's a secret.

"Xelloss: COPYRIGHTS!!!"

Oh, shut up, you crazy, masochist, secretive mazoku.

"Xelloss: I heard that! And thank you!"

*sighhh*

Jordan: Here you go.