The Snake-who-lived
"Why spiders? Why couldn't it be 'Follow the butterflies'?"
Ron Weasley, Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets movie, forest scene
Pre-chapter scene:
The readers, once again, find themselves into a small, cold, dark and generally… cardboard-colored, cardboard-furnished, cardboard-floored and walled bar made out of… well… you get the picture. On the remaining brick wall, proud remnant of the far, past history when the building owned itself instead of being controlled and enslaved by a poor, fic-fanatic, over-thinking, low-budget author, was stapled:
No mob-be-gone sprays
Writers are pleaded to leave their keyboards in the box outside
No weapons allowed. This includes: Bombs, plasma guns, swords, blunt objects and Bartenders.
The final word was crossed with a big, black X.
In a box outside the door, a good dozen of the deadliest weapons existing on the net – keyboards – were laid down, some chained with thick locks, others protected by pure titanium casings. There would be no security leaks.
Inside the bar, it seemed the only remaining thing that was left intact from all the fighting that had happened in the bad was, inexplicably enough, the scene, even though most of the fighting had taken place on it or around it.
The holes in the floor had been patched up, so no more people fell underneath. However, few readers complained to the bartenders about odd sounds coming from underneath, like voices, as if the people who had fallen down in the first place had not gone out and were pleading for freedom.
The cardboard tables, which were starting to get soggy from the rain falling through holes in the cardboard roof, were accompanied by cardboard chairs, which could not easily hold the readers' weight for more than a minute before spectacularly breaking and sending their unfortunate victim sprawled on the ground. One such reader had unfortunately fallen through a roughly patched-up hole in the floor, soggy from being wet as well. Tribal ceremonial chanting could be heard, thanking their gods for their present, along with the unlucky reader's pleas to not be eaten alive.
And through all this, the figure dressed in a dark cloak on the scene smiled, although it could not be seen through his hood.
"Welcome!" He declared in a squeaky voice worthy of a chipmunk. "Ah, calisse, c'est quoi ca…" He grumbled, checking up on the FISHER PRICE VOICE THIGNY(tm) not too far behind him. "Testing, one, two… one, two… Ah, better." His voice had taken back the usual, echoing tone to it that was certainly not artificial. Hmm? You don't believe me? Well… um… *hits a switch, doubtful reader fall through the floor*
"Mwahaha. Author power." He chuckled darkly, before clearing his throat. "Where was I… ah yes. Welcome to the next Chapter of the Snake-who-lived—"
"Wouldst thou please hasten the pace," A reviewer asked.
Akuma-sama's hand reached for the switch, but then decided he should not, since Xu would suddenly find herself with fewer words to tell.
"Yeah, I mean…" a nameless reader who dared not to review piped up. "Why are we heeeaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!"
Satisfied, Akuma-sama let go of the switch, ignoring the new wave of ceremonial chants.
"I just wanted to tell you all: I have been eagerly waiting to write this chapter and the next, for a long, long time, ever since I decided that, Canon be darned, I'm having fun. Well, not be darned, but… oh hell. There is an absolutely enormous Anime Cameo in them, so huge it's almost not a cameo. Heck, the chapters are practically cameos themselves, but…" He looked a little later in his notes, then chuckled. "Nope, not just cameos. *cough* A quick explanation will be told at the end of next chapter for those of you who heretics who have not seen Ranma ½ yet… *stare*"
Some readers suddenly eye the floor carefully…
"But I really shouldn't need to explain it all," He said with a grin "since it's rather simple."
Those readers suddenly feel a little better.
"Special thanks to Simply Myself for the Chinese, to VMorticia for the beta and to me for actually thinking up this thing." He finished with a wink.
"Well now. Enjoy the show!"
Chapter 13: Curse of the Spider
The latest attack had the positive point of putting doubts in people's minds about Harry's culpability. At least, it did so in the Slytherin house, since the stories all agreed – Harry, at the time of the attack had been seen with Professor Snape and that weird, badly dressed groundkeeper… what's his name… Hag Ride? Oh, whatever.
Yup, they all said that.
Outside the green and silver house, however, the opinion was more divided. The Hufflepuffs mostly believed he was guilty and that he had some way to control the monster from a distance. Ravenclaws generally claimed that the story was impossible, since such a spell would require power near Dumbledore's level. Hufflepuffs retorted that he was as strong as Dumbledore, which was the reason why Voldemort wanted to kill him in the first place. Gryffindors opinions were very much divided and there was really no way to get a general consensus.
The result was that everyone was bickering among themselves and there was less finger-pointing at the boy-who-was-quite-glad-for-that.
The bell rang on the final class of term, a rather mild class of Charms. Flitwick, being in a festive mood, had simply asked them to keep their wands in their pockets and "do some pre-Christmas socializing!". Feeling rather cheerful, Harry walked out of the class, Blaise and Draco trailing behind, arguing about something or other, once again.
Some screams from behind them broke his mood, however, but not as much as the insane, merry cackling that came immediately afterwards. The three Slytherins gave each other a look and, at once, ducked; Harry behind a suit of armor, Blaise and Draco squeezing behind a column. It worked. Peeves flew by them, not noticing them, lobbing fresh eggs randomly at people while laughing merrily.
Without the Bloody Baron to hold him back, Peeves was being absolutely horrible, doing everything he had ever wanted but wasn't allowed to because of the ghost. That morning, the tables had started to float, along with the forks and knives. Fortunately, nobody had been seriously hurt – in a relative sense, considering what magic could heal – but it had taught everyone a valuable lesson – don't get in Peeves' way. Harry was almost tempted to write his name down on the list of the students leaving and duck for cover at the Zabinis'.
"Hey, guys, want to come to the owlery with me?" Blaise asked, showing a letter. "I've got to ask mom about the you-know-whats."
The two boys gave each other smirks and nodded at the girl, who walked ahead.
The previous evening, he and Draco had walked into a frenzied Slytherin common room, where gossip and rumors were being exchanged like titles at a stock exchange. Blaise had literally jumped on the two of them and demanded to know where they had been. After basic explanations leaving her satisfied enough, Harry had remembered what Snape had asked him.
"Dueling lessons?" She had repeated. "Hmm… well, with what just happened, I guess it's a good idea. I'm not an expert, though. Mom has a few books on it, though. I'll owl her about it."
And there they were, doing exactly that in the owlery. Athena, the Zabini's guest-hostile eagle owl, gave them a ferocious glare while Blaise tied the letter on her leg.
"Mom's probably going to give you a bunch of things to bring back, so save your strength. Ok, girl?" at the owl's understanding hoot, the red-haired girl smiled and threw Athena in the air, from where she took flight and departed through open windows on the roof.
"Nice bead." Xu's voice said, her accent messing up her words as always, as the girl entered the owlery.
"Isn't she?" Blaise agreed, smiling at the rapidly shrinking spot in the sky.
Xu blinked and nodded, apparently replying to Blaise's question. With a shrug, she put two fingers in her mouth and let out a loud, piercing whistle.
An indignant hoot came from above. Harry definitely heard the beating of wings going past him, but didn't see a thing. Xu lifted her arm and, much to Harry's surprise, her sleeve suddenly tightened around her arm, as if something had landed on it.
"Wicked!" Draco gasped. "A stealth owl!!"
Harry blinked at Draco then looked back at Xu's arm. Now that he knew there was an owl there, he could barely see the outline of a small, foot-tall birdlike shape, as if light was bending at some place in his vision.
"He that, yes," Xu said, nodding, while feeling around the talons of the owl for the ring where she would be able to tie up a letter. "But he also very fast… sound-fast… what is word…"
"Supersonic?" Harry suggested.
"Yes, that." Xu said with a smile. "Soupaasounic."
"Supersonic and Stealth?!" Blaise blinked. "Now that's an owl."
A pleased hoot came from the spot above the Chinese girl's arm.
"I guess he would have to be," Harry mused out loud. "if he's flying back and forth between China…"
"What's his name?" Draco said while rubbing the side of the owl's head, at least… where he thought it was.
"It Yinying." She said while tying the letter. "Mean Shadow. It fitting."
"Who are you writing to anyway?" Blaise asked.
"Uncle." Was the girl's answer, along with a small, mischievous smirk. "Christmas presents."
"A letter?" Draco blinked. "A letter for a Christmas present?"
"No, asking for gift for giving. No receive."
'She's asking for someone else's gift.' Harry corrected mentally, wondering exactly why she was grinning so evilly while saying it.
The next day was spent quietly playing and reading in the common room while watching, with much amusement, most of their house scramble about for their belongings. Xu and Ginny helped Emma, who had unfortunately handed her autographed – and handed down by Harry Potter - version of the Lockhart books to people all over the house.
Going to the station was rather useless, at least, for Harry. He didn't really know the young McKinnon all that much.
"Don't you worry, I'll be back!" She declared, taking a pose. "There's no way a McKinnon won't go to school simply because people are being petrified!"
And, from then on, Harry was one of the few students in the school, with the Weasleys forming the great majority of the crowd. The first few days were fun, since, after the blizzard, pleasantly cool days came around, perfect for some snowball fights outside, only growing harder when Fred and George decided to join in, using charmed snow to attack the Slytherins, with Hermione backing them up – house loyalty, after all. Harry took this as a good sign; perhaps the twins were starting to see how stupid they had been.
Ron, however, was nowhere to be seen.
Mrs Zabini's answer came a week before Christmas, in the form of not one or two, but six large manuals on curses, hexes and dueling techniques, along with a very tired and exhausted eagle Owl.
Blaise,
I perfectly agree. I had no idea the situation was this bad – the daily prophet only says there are incidents at Hogwarts, without revealing much of what it's about. Probably Dumbledore's work. Here are a few manuals to help out. I know it will be useful.
Everything else is fine, except for your dad doing overtime again.
Love,
Mom
P.S: Hide the big red book; it is supposed to be only for Aurors.
Harry let out an appreciative whistle after reading the note, giving a look at the manuals. The third one was especially large and had a red cover, which meant it probably was the one she had been talking about. Quickly taking it, Harry managed to slide it under his robes.
The manuals proved to be very advanced, especially the red one. As much as they tried, neither Harry, Draco nor Blaise managed to cast most of the spells described. And it wasn't by lack of effort. Blaise, after managing to cast a blood cooling charm on a frog, suddenly started to feel dizzy and light headed.
"Magical exhaustion." Draco diagnosed. "I'd say she won't be able to cast spells for… oh, I'd say a day or so."
"Aww great." She complained in an airy tone, unable to muster enough energy to be angry.
The frog, unfortunately, being a cold-blooded creature, did not survive being charmed by that spell. Strangely enough, it disappeared a few minutes later. Nemesis complained of an odd chill in his stomach for the rest of the day.
Draco's diagnosis was not entirely correct. Half a day later, during dinner time, Blaise was merrily levitating the strawberry jam closer to her grasp.
"Ugh." Harry shuddered. "Blaise, I know you like the stuff, but… strawberry jam on ham?"
"What?" The girl asked, spreading generous amounts of the sweet fruit jam on the meat. "I like it."
"It looks worse than when Fred and George decided to make a fruitcake." Ginny noted.
"And what did it look like?" Draco asked with a smirk.
"You don't want to know." The girl quickly replied, staring blankly.
"Oh, shut up!" Blaise shrieked while Ginny and Draco burst out laughing. "It can't look that bad!"
"Oh no it doesn't, really." Harry agreed, drawing a grateful look from the girl and disbelief from the others. "But I'm sure it tastes worse."
The dark-red haired girl huffed angrily while the blonde and other red-head burst out laughing again.
Suddenly a loud hoot came, along with the sound of wings beating the air. But there was no visible bird anywhere in the room. Xu grinned.
"Yinying!"
The invisible owl landed on her outstretched arm – at least, Harry supposed he did – a second before a small, worn purple box roughly sealed with mundane, Muggle brown tape landed on the table, Chinese characters written across it, along with a letter scotch-taped to it.
"Uncle send Ginny brother gift!" The girl said with a grin, ripping the letter from the box.
"You prepared a gift for my brother?" Ginny asked disbelievingly. "I thought you didn't like him!"
"Ginny thought right." Xu nodded with a smirk. "That lesson."
"Hungry?" Blaise asked, presenting the invisible owl a bit of her ham.
Though nobody could see it, Harry was certain it had refused with a 'Are you crazy or just insane' look. When the ham remained on her fork, the girl huffed and crossed her arms, not-so-accidentally staining the sleeve of Draco's robe.
"What does he say?" Ginny asked, her voice rising over Draco's protesting and outraged gasp, reading over the smaller girl's shoulder, scowling a bit at the undecipherable Chinese symbols on it.
"Say 'I very busy and in hurry, so could not give only what Niece want. Honored guests got cursed, Panda, Girl and Pig. Very tragic story of fools who no listen to warnings. Plum say hello." She read, trailing her finger over the symbols while reading.
"I have no idea how you can read that." Ginny admitted with a small sigh. "Oh well. What did you get, anyway?"
Xu's face lit in a rather sadistic grin while she hugged the box to herself. "I no tell. Wait for Christmas."
Xu was hardly seen for the following five days. Ginny spent most of her time with the older Slytherins while doing a great job at avoiding her brothers – a mightily difficult task indeed. She, however, seemed to fall in some sort of gloom as Christmas approached.
While Harry had never really had a family Christmas, he knew from what he had seen on the TV that it was a special thing to normal children, which was meant to be celebrated as a family. At the Dursleys', it had mostly been an occasion for Dudley to get his yearly thirty-something presents while giving nothing back.
'It's probably her first Christmas without her family.' He supposed.
Then, on the morning of Christmas Eve…
"Mornin'." Blaise energetically declared, swiftly sitting down on the couch with the grace of a gorilla, the energy of Crabbe's brainpower and the speed of a government functionary. Her hair had the clean, well-brushed look of a palm-tree forest after a class "ouch" hurricane.
"Hey." Draco welcomed, holding a cup of hot chocolate in his hands, his body wrapped in a thin, white and green blanket near the fire. He looked about as warm as a slab of meat in an industrial freezer.
"'lo." Ginny mumbled, wearing a light red Weasley jumper with a big, pink G on it. Her wide and happy smile gave everyone about the same cheerful mood as a funerary hall.
"Good morning!" Harry said glumly, scowling as badly as someone who had just won the lottery.
In truth, unless you haven't already guessed, Harry was the only one who was actually happy, that morning.
"Is it always this bloody cold down here?!" Draco wondered.
"Yup, you'll just have to get used to it, Draco." The black-haired boy said with a nod and a smile.
"And how come you're so damn chirpy this early!?" He asked.
Why was he so happy? He didn't really know, actually. It was probably one of those unexplainable, merry moods that people sometimes wake up in. He felt certain nothing could go wrong about this day. After all, it was Christmas Eve!
"I dunno. I'm just happy!" He replied.
"Right." The other boy deadpanned, snuggling deeper in his blanket. "It's too bloody cold to be so friggin' cheerful."
"'specially so 'rly 'n dhe mornin'." Blaise mumbled while stealing Draco's cup of hot chocolate and taking a deep, long drink. "Ahh, that's better."
Scowling, Draco snitched the cup out of the girl's hands, only to see she had drained it dry.
"I hate you." He told her flatly.
Blaise mock-recoiled and declared in a false accent: "Ouch, you wound me, Draco Malfoy. I am hurt by your declaration of hatred toward an innocent maiden such as I."
"You should." He grumbled, while putting the cup down on the ground, where it vanished and was replaced by another, full of steaming hot liquid.
"Nihao!" Xu said cheerfully as she literally appeared behind the two arguing Slytherins, quite effectively scaring them senseless, clutching the purple box to her chest. She still hadn't told anyone what was in it, but the tape that had been sealing it was now ripped. Apparently, the box had been opened.
"Are you going to tell us what's in there, now?" Harry asked, pointing at it.
Xu gave him a smirk and nodded. "Late."
"Later." Ginny corrected. "It's not something that's going to hurt him, is it?"
Xu shook her head. "It no painful, no dangerous, but very… punisha'?"
"-ing."
"Punishering." Xu corrected herself, causing Ginny to slap her forehead.
Breakfast came. The great hall was rearranged. As there were so few students in the school, only one table was necessary for both the eight students and the members of the staff, minus Dumbledore, as he had left that morning on urgent business for the ministry. Ginny was in a heated discussion with Hagrid about, from what he could tell, the dangers of raising a dragon, seeing as her big brother Charlie was a dragon keeper. Fred and George were beside Xu and Draco, who both looked rather uncomfortable when both offered them some "innocent Christmas treats." Ron, sitting at the end of the table, beside Hermione and in front of McGonagall – who had taken that place to watch over the twins – was sulking, most likely because of the fact that he was stuck between the two most disciplinarian witches in the school at the moment and the two biggest pranksters in Hogwarts history, as far as they knew.
Somehow, Harry found himself squeezed between Blaise and, to his chagrin, Lockhart, who talked to him loudly while Harry did his best to ignore him.
He gave a suffering look at the girl beside him, who barely stifled a snicker. While Lockhart was busy trying to depict the basic size of "that fearsome, terrifying dragon" he had defeated to an uncaring audience, Blaise took one of her green peas and transformed it into a rather realistic, though not alive, little grey rat. An animation charm later, she had set it on the floor, aiming it at Lockhart's robes.
"And its head turned toward me, oh that was something to see, Harry! That thing must have been at least seven feet long! It's eyes were tiny, I could barely see them… but I could definitely see the evil red they were glowing… then, it saw me and roared… it sounded like an extremely loud---ahhhh!!!" With an unmanly shriek, Lockhart literally jumped, throwing his chair backwards, Blaise's animated rat clinging to his robes. "GETTITOFFGETTITOFF!!"
Unsurprisingly, the assembled students shared a good, loud laugh, while McGonagall did her best to look stern – failing miserably. A look at Snape later, Harry was nearly sent into hysterics again. The normally scowling and moody teacher was evidently still at the stage of trying not to burst out in roaring laughter.
With a lazy wave of his wand made to prove the performed charm was simple and extremely easy to cast, Professor Snape drawled a tired, but extremely amused: "Finite Incantatem".
The animation charm was dispelled and the rat stopped moving, not releasing its hold on the bungling blonde's lavender robes.
Lockhart, ripping the rat off his robes, tearing claw-shaped holes in them, then turned to Blaise, glaring angrily.
"How dare you!!" He shrieked, pointing at her wand, which she had forgotten to hide. "Those were my favorite robes!!"
"Twenty points from Slytherin, Zabini." McGonagall snapped, while Lockhart continued to complain, pointing at the tiny, barely visible scratches on his clothes.
"Professor Lockhart, a simple sewing charm can take care of those tears. If you want…" Flitwick said, taking out his wand.
Harry blinked, seeing an odd, mischievous blink on the tiny teacher. No, apparently, Dumbledore's decision did not make unanimity.
If it did, though, it was in a negative way.
"Oh, no, it's all right!" Lockhart said assuredly. "I've done it a thousand times! After all, you don't wander in the jungles of Mongolia without getting your clothes a bit roughened up!"
And he left, while the three second year Slytherins turned to each other.
"Do dragons really sound like that?" Harry asked jokingly.
"Maybe a new, undiscovered and extremely stupid race of dragon does." Blaise replied, a look of mock-seriousness on her face.
"I can see it now," Draco declared with a majestic wave of his hand and an awed voice "an endangered race: The Lockhart Loud-shriek, named after its discoverer and rather shrilly roar."
"Endangered because too stupid to breathe without being reminded." Blaise added, before she burst into laughter, followed by the others.
The next time the Slytherins found Lockhart, he was walking in the halls, dressed in another robe. He had not apparently cast the spell. He would most likely have failed it anyway. As he passed by them, he shot a hateful glare at Blaise, who grinned back pleasantly, trying to unbalance and confuse him.
Slytherin code of conduct, rule one hundred and two: Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
"Prick." She muttered as soon as he was out of earshot.
"Such language! What would your mother say?" Draco asked.
"She'd agree and add: 'Egoistic, incompetent, son of a—'"
"Definitely." Harry interrupted, censored and agreed, absentmindedly eavesdropping on the two younger girls, walking behind him.
"When are you going to use it?" Ginny asked Xu, pointing at the box.
"--Arrogant, self-obsessed, inspiration for Barbie-dolls, rat ars--" Blaise's list of possible Lockhart terms of endearing was interrupted by an irritated Draco's hand.
Smirking, the Asian girl playfully waved a finger in front of her mouth and winked.
"That is secret."
Somewhere far, far away, a purple-haired trickster priest sneezed.
"Oh, come on!" Ginny whined loudly, attracting the other two older students' attention. "Please? You got me curious about this. And everyone else, too."
"Oh, ok." Xu relented, although she did not seem disappointed at all, as if she couldn't wait to do it herself, looked around and found the closest bathroom. "Follow."
Once everyone was inside the bathroom, the Chinese girl walked to the sinks and let the purple box down beside it. Smoothly, she removed the lid, revealing a single wooden stick and more than a dozen small, colorful bags. Each bag had different Chinese symbols on them, but, as Harry was unable to read it, he couldn't tell what any of it was.
"Ta-da!" The girl declared with a grin, holding up one of the bags.
"…You want to invite Weasley to a tea party?" Draco asked flatly. "Quite honestly, I don't see what's so great."
"That, instant Jusenkyo powder!" Xu explained, as if saying that explained anything.
"What does it do?" Blaise asked.
"That is surprise." Xu said with a grin, taking a bit of toilet paper from a nearby stall and transfiguring it into a rough, paper glass. "Impervius" She cast as well, as if she did not want liquid to slip through the thin paper. She fished in the box, pulling out one bag in particular.
"That Zhizhunichuan powder. Extract from original Zhizhunichuan spring in Jusenkyo. Very tragic story of spider that fall in spring and drown 250 years ago."
"Very interesting." Draco drawled lazily and sarcastically.
Undaunted, Xu filled the paper cup with water and ripped the bag open. Inside was nothing but apparently harmless, regular dirt, but the black-haired boy felt his back chill upon seeing it. Something about this was dangerous, he knew it.
She emptied the bag in the cup, then, very carefully, mixed it with the stick with apparently excessive caution. Harry had the feeling he did not want to touch the water.
"There. Now we go find stupid Ginny brother."
"Ginny's stupid brother." Blaise corrected while Harry heard the younger red head grumble something about giving Xu private English lessons presto.
For ten minutes, they roamed in the halls. Xu was extra-careful with the cup she was holding. A single drop of water fell out and dropped harmlessly to the ground, but she recommended stepping around it.
"Come on, how can it be so dangerous?! It's just dirty water!"
"You see when find him." Xu replied, before grinning and pointing down the hall. "There he is."
Sure enough, Ron was there, talking to Hermione. Or more like arguing with her. But then again, as far as conversations with her went, this was pretty much regular and usual.
"Ron, it's Christmas. Please, talk to her… For me? It's not like she asked to be sorted there---"
"I don't care!" Ron returned. "You don't understand, Hermione… Weasleys have always been Gryffindors, as far as our recorded family tree says. It's the Weasley family honor that she's—"
"That's Percy who said that." Hermione snapped. "Why won't you base your opinion on your own feelings at all, Ronald Weasley?!"
"I-I am!!"
"You don't sound sure to me!"
With that, Hermione stormed away, looking angry enough to hex whoever dared talk to her next.
"Now is chance!" Xu said with a smirk, walking toward Ron, who was huffing and looking the other way, grumbling to himself, kicking at the ground. As soon as she was close enough, the Asian aimed and threw the water all over the boy, who…
"WH—"
…vanished, his clothes suddenly falling to the ground as if nobody was inside them.
"Wh---what did you do!?" Ginny gasped in horror.
"Instant Jusenkyo curse." Xu declared with a smirk. "Zhizhunichuan curse make someone turn in…" She trailed off, digging through the empty robes. With a tug, a red… thing fell to the floor out of the robe's sleeves. "spider."
Sure enough, a red-furred spider as big as a hand was lying on its back, eight legs waving haphazardly. It was much, much too big to be native, however.
"Can I squash him?" Draco asked eagerly, grinning.
"NO!" Ginny snapped. "Xu, turn him back."
The Asian girl pouted and pulled out her wand, then hesitated.
"What's wrong?" Ginny asked.
"Ummm…" Xu hesitated, fiddling with her wand nervously. "No remember cure… duibuqui?"
"WHAT?!" The red-head shrieked, picking her brother off the ground with one hand, the other hand going for the smaller girl's green and silver necktie, "What do you mean, you don't remember?!"
The spider in her hand looked quite terrified. It was shaking, its tiny head looking at its four front legs.
"But it written on back of bags." Xu quickly added, calming her friend. "Just have to go and get it."
"Well, lets." Ginny said with a sigh. "As pig-headed as he's being, he doesn't deserve to be stuck as a spider forever."
The head of the spider snapped up, at least, as far up as it could. The two front legs gave a sharp hit at the girl's hand, which she barely felt. Spider or not, Ron apparently did not appreciate being called a pig-head.
As they walked back in the bathroom to turn Ron back to normal, they noticed something was wrong, however.
"The… The box!" Ginny gasped. "It's gone!"
"Who take it?" Xu asked turning to them.
"Not us!" Harry replied, shaking his head. Damn, that was just what he needed! A box capable of turning people into god-knows-what loose in the hands of could-be-anyone!
He made a mental list of who could have taken it. Since his friends, Hermione and Ron had been with him the whole time, they were crossed out already. That left:
A teacher: Not so bad, depending on whom.
Filch: Pretty bad, since they'd have to fetch the cure from him.
Fred and George: Oh-Please-Lord-Shoot-Me-Now bad.
And one final choice… The very worst possible possibility, the very worst pair of hands in the school…
His musings were interrupted by a loud and chillingly familiar female scream that turned rather high-pitched in the end.
"Hermione!!" Harry gasped, running out, followed by his friends. Dashing, he went to the source of the scream…
…and found a cat.
A brown cat.
A little brown cat with rather puffy, bushy fur that made it look like a fur ball with eyes, completely drenched, looking quite startled, and standing on ruffled, empty robes bearing the crest of Gryffindor.
"Hermione?" Harry asked.
"Meow…Meow?! Meeoowww!!" The girl-turned-cat gasped, her left paw going to her throat upon hearing her voice.
"Who did this?" Draco asked, looking around.
A loud cackling echoed between the walls, chilling everyone's backs.
"Peeves." They echoed.
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
Damn you, Murphy.
Author's notes:
*Is evilly laughing his head off in anticipation for the next chapter*
*Is unable to comment because laughing too much*
ANSWERS TO THE THREE-FEET TALL SUMO-WRESTLING HALF-SISTER OF THE REVIEWERS:
…I have no idea where I take those. Onegai, don't ask me.
RaistlinofMetallica: My goal is not to make him have a good time ^_-.
A.J.D'Angelo: Heh. Now that's a secret. ^_-
Blackheart Syaoran: Join the club! *Gives you a badge "Huffie-hater"*. Aw, pity. Well, go right ahead and write, and tell me when its out. I'll go check it out.
Blue Duck: geez, you are selective of your reading materials, aren't you. Slytherin rising… go read it, you'll know. It's not Harry-centered, but it's still great, I'd say I like it almost more than JK's original books. *smirk* as for the rest, it's a secret. ^_-. Do send me your mail, if you really want to know. I'm not going to beak the suspense. I do wonder what you have against H/G, though.
Simply Myself: Ah, well I've never watched Austin Powers. Well, what about this chapter? *smirk*
Amethyst D: thx
Dragonprincess: Heh. Even that wouldn't stop them. Here you go, *Hands you a boxful of screaming and protesting Hufflepuffs* have fun!
BF110C4: *smirk* 'course I have to. And thanks!
VMorticia: Heh, I said I'd be taking some cannon from Book 5, without really quoting anything from it. (at least until My Book 3 comes out, then I'll have to). I'll let you think that one out for yourself ^_-. I perfectly know… *winces* Hehe. Well, read above to know why I took out the Bloody Baron. Peeves is on the run, Ladies and Gentlemen! *winces* ouch… Imagine the guy who checks the review to make sure the story's good, and ends up reading the whole damn chapter, lol. Anyway, thanks for reviewing and betaing! (If that's a word)
Mella DeRanged: I don't think JKR said ANYWHERE what house Lily is in: People just assume she was a Gryff because James was (Cannon) a Gryff. So, it became Fanon. (I re-read the whole series during the summer, Haven't seen it anywhere.) 'course, she could have said it in a conference and I wouldn't know, but I doubt she'd leave a revelation like this go out in a non-flashy way like that. Besides. This is AU, but where the change starts to cause Mrs Zabini and Blaise to meet Harry is still unsaid… ^_-
Flummox: Sevy-poo, eh? Just a second.
"Hey, Severus! She just called you Sevy-poo!!" Akuma-sama yelled to the potion teacher backstage.
"WHAT!?"
"That's a nice name, Sevy-poo." An unfamiliar female voice said. "I think I'll use it!"
"Don't you dare, L--"
Akuma-sama loudly coughed to hide the bit of information Snape almost revealed. "Well, back to you, Flummox."
I did my best on Lily, she'll be a nice one to get to know, even though she's dead. ^_-. Hmm? Isn't "It's a secret" four syllables? And yes, I think you can safely claim that I am, indeed, evil. Well, learning it as good I can from whatever Animes I can get my hands on ^_-. Actually, I'd be killing myself writing it up at ungodly hours in the day, since I'm taking night school. *sighs at the thought of waking up at ten to go to sleep at one AM during the whole year* ^_-. 'course, the busses are going to be hell. Gah. Wish I had a motorcycle… *sigh*
