Here Without You

Disclaimer – I don't own them. Although I wish I owned that towel Alec was wearing when Max pulled him from his shower.

A/N: I've been thinking about doing a fic where Max goes into one of her famous cycles and the first guy she sees is Alec. And I don't want to give it all away, so I better stop now. My first attempt at a Dark Angel fic, so I hope all goes well.

~~~

Max is home alone, searching for anything to keep her mind busy. Anything to stop herself from thinking about the horrors Manticore had cooked up inside her.

She had tried to come to terms with it all, really she did. Or at least what she knows about as of now. She always finds herself wondering what else they had done to her all those years ago.

The lab technicians back at Manticore weren't the sentimental type. At least that's not the front they put out when they were cutting her brother open before her very eyes. And they didn't even have the courtesy to kill him first.

No, instead they let him watch as they try to figure out where they went wrong.

'Poor Jack.'

Max can't help reliving the moment which took place years ago. That event which triggered thoughts of escape. That led to Eva being shot. That gave them the motivation to finally make a break for it back in '09.

She goes to the living room, spreading out on the floor, ready for another round of push ups. Trying to repress those thoughts that haunt her dreams at night. That's why she doesn't sleep much.

All the memories of her childhood come flooding back in her dreams. Memories of her training; of being tested to see her true abilities.

She tries to focus on doing her push ups.

Up. Down. Up. Down.

Then as she grew older, the memories grew worse. Right before they escaped, Eva was shot dead in her tracks when they made an attempt to save Jack's life.

The vision is still vivid in her mind. She remembers how dark the corridors were. Watching as Lydecker and his men came around the corner.

He pulled a gun out, cocking it as he aimed for Eva. She remembers the sound of the gun exploding as the big chunk of lead with her sister's name on it flew through the air, just as fast as they all could run. She watched as the bullet made contact with the girl. Her still, lifeless body fell to the floor in a heap as Lydecker, their precious "father," looked on.

Up. Down. Up. Down.

The smell of blood mixing with the sterile stench of the floor reaches her nose once again. It was enough to make her sick.

Then there was that day in the woods. Lydecker made a deal with one of the Nomalies in which if he could make it past the perimeter fence, he was free to go. But if he didn't, Max and the rest of her unit could take him out in a heartbeat.

She can feel the blood pulsating through her veins in anticipation of being set out to do what she was meant to do. When Lydecker reached the end of his count down, giving the Nomalie a good head start, they she was off.

She and the rest of her group followed him, smooth and efficiently, sending silent messages to one another as they hunted him down. They were fresh on his heels. He never had a chance.

Up. Down.

They caught up to him. Beating him to death like savages. But they were still just kids. So young. So innocent. But not anymore.

She could smell the blood again, making her senses go wild. Maybe she really was a sheep in wolf's clothing. Just as her brother Ben had put it. Ben… Another of the horrifying memories that lurk into her mind every now and then.

Up. Down.

She remembers the talk she had with Ben in the Space Needle. He was so confused.

Back at Manticore, he had an answer to all the mysteries. But out in the real world, there were so many things going unanswered. He was just looking for something to grasp onto. He went on hunting sprees. Killing people just for the pleasure of it.

But he wasn't just killing anyone. No. He was giving them his barcode, as if trying to kill a part of himself. Then he would hunt them down, catching them in the end. He would rip their teeth out, dislocate their shoulders, and display them on a rock for the whole world to see.

She remembers the day in the woods when she talked to him last. It was anything but a good old family reunion. She didn't like seeing him hurt all those innocent people. He had to be stopped. He needed some sense knocked into him.

They fought. She broke his leg, just as Lydecker and his goonies were sweeping the forest. She had no choice. His last words were of the "Good Place." The one thing they had to look forward to when they were growing up in that hell hole.

"Tell me about the Good Place."

"Where no one ever gets punished."

"And no one gets yelled at."

"And nobody disappears. And when you wake up in the morning, you can stay in bed as long as-"

That was it. He was willing to sacrifice himself in order for her to get out. There was no way she could carry him and expect them to make it away safely. She had to. She took her own brother's life in order to save her own.

Sure, he knew it was the only way. He knew they were coming for him. He knew they would take him back there and put him down in the basement with the Nomalies. But it still hurt her, having to lay her brother to rest. Knowing she snapped his neck with her own two hands. He requested it, pleading for her to do it, and she followed through.

Up. Down.

Like she's said so many times before. She didn't need sleep. Besides, she can find other activities to fill the void usually fulfilled through sleep. But still her mind wanders.

Now it's harder for her to keep her mind from all that's gone wrong in her sorry, pitiful life. It's not like she can run to Logan anymore.

No. Not with the fear of infecting him again.

Stupid Manticore. Damn them. Damn them all to the deepest bowels of hell!

She clears her mind once again. It may only be temporary, but it's still worth the fifteen, or less, minutes of release. No matter how far she runs or how hard she tries, there is no way to erase what happened to her. To all of them.

She focuses her attention back to her push ups once again.

Up. Down. Up. Down.

She's sweating. That's weird.

She can take out half an army, armed and loaded, without even breaking a sweat. There's only one thing this can mean.

She's in heat again.

Great.

Of all the things they did to her, this surpasses it all. Every few times a year she becomes this sex crazed beast. Every male she meets becomes irresistible. For God's sake, she actually had Normal, of all people, pinned against the wall, ready for him to become her prey.

There was nothing she could do to stop this. Lord knows she's tried. It always gives way to a restless sleep. That is, if she's lucky. The majority of the time she goes on the prowl. It's not like she chooses to. She's not herself.

That's how she hooked up with Rafer. She couldn't stand how dirty she felt. No matter how many showers she took, it couldn't cleanse away her guilty conscious.

She ditched Logan on their anniversary to go have sex with someone she hardly knew. Okay, so it was only the anniversary of the first time they met, big deal. But it was still a big deal to him.

She can't take this anymore. Being alone was enough to drive her crazy. When Original Cindy is here, she has someone to talk to. And also someone to hold her back.

She can sense someone coming down the hall. There's keys in the door.

Thinking OC was home, Max goes to the couch and waits, ready to tell her to help restrain herself.

The door opens and Alec appears in the doorway.

'Oh God, does he look adorable or what?'

Before things get out of hand, she stops her thoughts from going any farther. She didn't want Alec. Or did she?

He walks inside, noticing how affectionately she's looking at him.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm more than all right, baby."

"What, I don't even get a sarcastic comeback? No, 'What the hell are you doing here, Alec?!' Something's up, I can feel it."

He eyes her up, slowly.

"Nothing is 'up.' It's just you and me. Alone."

She looks him back, straight in the eye, as he walks to the center of the room.

'Screw the formalities. This whole thing with Logan isn't working, so what is a girl supposed to do? It's time I moved on. Found myself a *real* man.'

"I see that look in your eyes. It's like- it's like, uh…"

The words "You want me, right here, right now," are left hanging in the air.

She just looks at him. Her gaze growing deeper and deeper as she closes the gap between them.

"Max, are you sure-"

She lunges at him, pinning him to the floor. She showers his face with aggressive kisses. Normally Alec would be a little shaken up by this kind of behavior from her, but he goes along with it. Not without checking first, of course.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Just shut up and kiss me!"

She was finally getting what she has always desired.

~~~

A/N: You can imagine how the rest goes from there, hehehe. Leave me a review, pretty please? If I get a good response from this one, I'll be sure to do a longer one about Max and Alec later.