"She's a dolphin."

"Oh my god, have you heard?"

"Yeah, Anya and Sirius!"

"Well, he's got a rep!"

"You wouldn't expect it would you?"

"Well, it is Sirius!"

"It had to happen sometime!"

A babble spread across the Gryffindor table at breakfast, as the news of what had happened the previous night travelled. Several people stared in confusion as James, Remus, Sirius, Anya and Peter entered the hall… together.

"Are they back together then?"

"Maybe they never broke up?"

Selma and Katarina smiled falsely as Anya threw herself into the chair next to them, and Sirius sat by James. Remus and Peter sat opposite, looking awkward, but not as awkward as James, caught between the warring couple.

"So…?" said James, reaching over to the toast. "What…what lessons Moony?"

"Transfiguration first." Said Remus at once, eager to break the silence.

"Shit." Said Anya and Sirius, at almost the same time. The usual laughter, which would have greeted this, didn't happen; instead, there was a bizarre silence, which spiralled horribly.

"Then potions." Said Remus desperately. "Then… I've got… erm, Arithmancy."

"Right." Said James. "Great… Where's Evans?" he had suddenly noticed her absence, and looked up and down the table quickly. Anya shifted in her chair slightly.

"I'm not sure." Said Remus. "Was she ok this morning Anya?"

"Erm…" she replied thinking quick. "She wasn't there!"

"What do you mean?" said James, turning to face her. Sirius continued to swirl his porridge up in his bowl, refusing to look at her. Anya looked at the ceiling, before replying.

"She wasn't there last night either."

"Where is she?" said James looking worried. "Do you think she's alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, she's fine, I'm sure." Said Anya, becoming interested in her toast.

"Shall we go then?" said Sirius to James coldly.

"Er… yeah." Said James, looking thrown at Sirius' tone.

"Good."

                                *****************************************************************

"Hey, Anya, are you ok?" said Katarina as the Gryffindor sixth- years made their way to Potions. Selma peered over her shoulder, eager to pick up on gossip. Anya nodded, and with some effort, managed a smile.

"I'm fine. I mean, I'm not running around, wind in my hair, the hills are alive with the sound of music fine, but..."  

"Mmm." Said Selma, nodding sympathetically. "Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't be great either, if I'd just broken up with…y'know."

"You can say his name if you want." Said Anya airily. "I wont collapse into hysterical sobs, or have a nervous break down. Really, I think I'll live."

"So…are… are you…?"

"Together?" she snapped, her patience with the two gossips was waning. "No, no, we have officially broken up, ok? We no longer have the whole boyfriend- girlfriend thing going on. So now you know, and you can go tell everyone else, and save me the trouble of putting up posters ok?"

Selma looked scandalized, and Kat looked down at her shoes. "Honestly Anya, we're only trying to help!"

"Oh yeah I'm sure." Said Anya, her voice now positively dripping in sarcasm. "And you've been so helpful too. Thank you so much girls, I appreciate it loads. Remind me to return the favour."

She walked off, looking furious, leaving two extremely offended girls in her wake.

"Well, excuse us for giving a shit!" said Selma in a low voice. "What on earth's wrong with her today?"

"She's just broken up with Sirius, idiot. That's what's wrong with her."

Selma turned around surprised, and got an even bigger shock when she realized who had spoken. Remus Lupin.

"I'd expect that from your friends Remus, but you?" said Selma.

"Just leave her alone ok?" snapped Remus, before following Anya. Selma and Kat watched him, jaws open. Out of all the marauders, Remus was the one all the girls liked. Sweet- tempered, polite, gentleman like, not remotely arrogant. What on earth had gotten into him?

Remus sank into a chair next to Anya. She was staring blankly ahead at the front of the class, evidently oblivious to her surroundings.

"Anya?" said Remus quietly. "Anya…ANYA!"

"Hmm?"

"Are you ok?" Remus caught the fleeting sidelong glance she threw at Sirius, but chose to ignore it. He waited for her answer.

"Erm…yeah, yeah Moony, I'm fine."

"No you're not."

"Really! I am!" Anya turned to him, and smiled weakly. "Just tired."

"No- one expects you to be fine. Sirius isn't-"

"Yeah! Ok, really could do without that subject Moony!"

Remus sighed. This was beyond ridiculous. This conversation was identical to the one he had had with Sirius earlier that morning-

"Spoken to her Padfoot?"

"No."

"Are you gonna?"

"No."

"Are you ok?"

"Yes."

"Why don't you just talk to her?"

"Can we not talk about it?!"

Remus sighed. Talking to either of them was a veritable minefield. The slightest thing could set them off. The fact they were constantly around each other didn't really help.

                                    *********************************************

"So…" said James to Sirius.

"What?" said Sirius, not bothering to look at him. He was staring fixedly at the desk, refusing to make eye contact with anyone.  James ignored the fact that every few seconds, Sirius would throw a quick glance in Anya's direction.

"What's going on?"

"Frankly, I have no idea. I think I have split up with my girlfriend because she has issues, but hey, I could be wrong!"

James rolled his eyes. Sirius was impossible to talk to in these situations.

"What are you gonna do about it?"

"I'm gonna do what any man would do." Said Sirius, an arrogant swagger appearing in his demeanour. "Something… manly."

"Which is?" asked James.

"I don't know yet!"

"Sirius, don't take this the wrong way…"

"But?"

"I don't think Anya has issues." Said James, stressing the word Anya slightly.

"And what do you mean by that?" demanded Sirius, turning to look at James furiously.

                                 ***************************************************

"Anya, do you want me to…?" asked Remus tentatively, motioning to the cauldron. Anya had been staring at it for around five minutes, and had made no indication she was going to follow Professor Vector's instructions. She looked at Remus.

"Huh?"

"Do you want me to do the potion?"

"Erm… do- d'you mind?"

"No!" said Remus at once. "Course not, it's fine."

"Thanks." She said. "It's just, y'know, right now, my brain isn't really functioning on the higher levels. It's pretty much- fire bad, tree pretty."

Remus smiled wryly. "So you aren't ok then?"

Anya turned around and faced him. "I don't think so."

                             ***********************************************************

"You need to talk to her mate." Said James seriously, as he added newt bile to the cauldron. "You can't carry on like this. It's affecting everyone."

"Oh excuse me, I'm so sorry about that," said Sirius, with heavy sarcasm.

"I didn't mean it like that." snapped James. "But it's true. When you guys aren't talking, it's…"

"What?" said Sirius curiously.

"Like…if you two cant keep it together, what hope have the rest of us got?" James looked up from the cauldron, a genuinely worried expression on his boyish features. Sirius sighed.

"Just cos me an Anya cant work, it doesn't mean you and Lily…"

"Who said anything about Lily?" said James at once. Sirius gave him a look.

"Ok, yeah, I meant Lily."

"Me, an Anya… it's different."

"How?"

"We…it's…complicated." Said Sirius.

"Why?" demanded James.

"Because Prongs, no matter how obsessed you are with Lily, it's nothing compared to how I- " Sirius stopped short, and looked down. James stared.

"Compared to how you what?" he asked.

"Nothing."

                                       ********************************************************

In the common room that night, Lily came through the portrait hole, looking tired, but much happier.

"Lily's back!" said James, not bothering to hide his delight.

Anya turned around, and gave her a small smile. Lily smiled back, before going to sit with her friends. Anya turned back to the others, and began fiddling with a fizzing whizzbee wrapper. "You gonna do that trans. Homework now Moony?"

"Yeah."

"I'll do mine too then." She rose from her chair gracefully, and disappeared up the stairs to get her bag. The second she was gone, the three boys turned on Sirius.

"What the fuck are you doing Padfoot?!"

"Why are you being so pig headed?!"

"You need to talk to her, now."

"No!" said Sirius loudly, drowning everyone else out. "No, she can fucking apologize first, then maybe."

"But she's not done anything wrong Sirius." Said Remus quietly.

"Who's side you on Moony?"

"I'm not on anyone's side Padfoot, but you aren't being reasonable."

"Oh, and she is?"

"Well… yeah."

                             *********************************************************

Anya slipped into the dormitory and made her way to her bed, where the contents of her bag were spread. She tossed a few books around, before finding the textbook she needed, and some parchment. She scrabbled around for a quill, but couldn't find one. Sighing impatiently, she stomped back out of the dorm, slamming the door behind her.

"Honestly! That girl has severe issues!" sniffed Selma. Anya stuck her head around the door.

"Excuse me?" she said in a dangerous voice.

Selma looked at the other girls for support, and failing to find it, chose to deal with the row herself.

"What on earth is the matter with you Anya?!" she said haughtily.

Anya blinked, unable to believe what she was hearing. "Excuse me?" she spluttered. "Like you don't know? You're the biggest gossip out of all of us, and you don't even…"

"I know you and Sirius have split up!" snapped back Selma. "But really, is that any reason to behave like you are?"

"Like what?" said Anya, unable to believe how unreasonable Selma was being.

"It doesn't matter Anya, really. But, whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude- deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever, but get over it. "

"I have just split up with my boyfriend." Said Anya through gritted teeth. "Last time I checked, I was entitled to be a little upset. Ok?"

She stormed out again, slamming the door even harder this time, and leaving behind a very annoyed Selma.

"Well…" she began. "That wasn't very-"

"Selma?" said Katarina. "Shut up."

                                             *******************************************************

That night, James was trying to reason with Sirius again, but it seemed a lost cause.

"Why are you putting yourself through this? What the fuck's the point? All you need to do is say sorry!"

"Why apologize for something I haven't done?" said Sirius, not looking James in the eye.

"God, Sirius, you're so fucking stubborn!"

"Why is it such a big deal?" snapped Sirius, but even as he said the words, he knew they weren't true. "I've split with girls before, and you didn't give a shit. It's like we said mate- plenty more fish in the sea. " James gave him a half disgusted, half bewildered look.

"Yeah… but it's Anya."

"I'm aware of that James."

"It's different." Piped up Peter from his bed. "'Cos it's her." Peter rarely contributed anything valuable to conversations, but when he did, it was always particularly significant. Even if his choice of words wasn't always the most suitable. Sirius, James and Remus all looked at Peter, before James turned around, a triumphant expression on his face.

"Exactly." He said.

"Exactly what?"

"It's Anya." Said Remus mildly. "Not just some random girl you thought was fit. This is Anya. Our best friend. A marauder. So it's totally different."

Whether Sirius understood this or not, James didn't bother to find out, before launching into his bizarre analogy if the situation.

"Moony's right." He said in a superior voice. "Anya's not like the others at all. See, Anya's… Anya's a dolphin."

Several puzzled and slightly fearful looks greeted this statement.

"Plenty of fish in the sea, right? And the girls are fishes. Damn fine fishes some of them too, especially the sexy, red- haired little sex kitten who-"

"James!" said Remus. "Going off subject."

James looked puzzled for a moment, before getting back into it. "Yeah, so anyway, girls are fishes, and very nice fishes, but Anya… is a dolphin."

Sirius continued to stare at James, as though fearful for his sanity. James sighed impatiently.

"Dolphin! No matter how good the fishes are, dolphins are better!"  

"How?"

"They just are!"

Sirius buried his head in his pillow, and groaned. "James, what are you on about? Just shut up."

The other guys took the hint, and left Sirius alone with his thoughts. No matter how much he pretended he didn't understand James, and thought he was mad, it was all an act. Sirius wasn't stupid. He understood his best friend of five years. He knew exactly what James meant. Anya was most definitely a dolphin.

R+ R plz!