Chapter Seven: Encounter
Squall rose from the wooden chair, tossing the bulky folder down to the dining room table. His eyes met those of Quistis, burning directly through azure eyes into her actual soul.
"You lied," he mumbled with sheer detest surrounding his statement.
Quistis looked at this man, her husband, in absolute bewilderment. His expression was one of genuine disgust; a look she had never seen before in all her twenty-three years. Subconsciously she knew her whole illusion was nearing the end. She took several small steps away from him, evading his pending advances as she continued entering the small apartment.
"Squall, what in the hell are you doing here?"
The instructor found herself slowly backing onto the entryway wall. Squall continued, gradually edging closer. Something about the cold obscurity of his eyes scared her, colder than his normal disdainful glare. Contempt, hate, something worse was present. Years of training taught her to look into enemy eyes for a sign of weakness. Right now, Squall Leonhart had none. Nothing had ever set him off like this before, except her... Quistis whispered the word aloud. Not for him to hear the faintly audible plea, just verbalizing her inner thoughts, fearing she was correct about the source of his odd behavior, "Rinoa?"
He said nothing, only stood millimeters from her shaking body. The enraged commander did not have to answer with words…his actions spoke clearly.
The momentary flashbacks of events two years prior danced within her minds eye. He knew, Squall knew. Too many years of living with the guilt was slowly drowning her, now she deep under water. Hyne only knew Squall was not going to jump in to save her. The life of Quistis Trepe-Leonhart would change from this day forth; mistakes of the past would be revealed. More innocents would die because of her failures. The scar on Squall's forehead was nothing compared to the scar in her heart, in her soul.
Pictures, images, and sounds came back flooding the instructors mind…too many pictures, too many deaths. He wanted to know the truth; that would cost them all. Quistis folded her arms, grabbed her elbows, and collapsed against the wall. He had to drop this line of questioning…he just had to…
"Please no, no…" She slid her back down the hard surface, tears streaming down an already pasty face. "Squall you don't understand. God please…no, just drop it."
He squatted down to her level, knees cracking as he neared the floor. With lightning fast reflexes, the commander grabbed her wrist and spat, "You will tell me the whole story right now my darling wife or gods help me, it will be your blood that is shed this time."
"Squall it's not like you think…I had no fucking choice."
"Everyone has a choice! Look me in the eyes and tell me point blank you saw Rinoa kill Ellone," he demanded with more intensity, his eyes silently pleading for the answer he so longed to hear.
Quistis could not look directly at him. The pain in her wrist was increasing as his gripped tightened around the thin bones. That action alone answered his question.
"You lying bitch, go to hell. You…you..."
Letting go of her, he turned away from the morose form against the wall. The commander walked to the table placing both arms on the cherry-wood furniture for support. Words escaped him for the moment, what could he say?
"Squall listen, you have to know what really happened that week…it is not what you think. I have never asked anything of you during this entire charade of a marriage. All I will ever ask is that you listen now."
With great vehemence, the commander hit his tight fists onto the table, still not looking in her direction. "I will listen only if you answer me one simple question: did Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly kill Ellone Loire?"
"No…" she stammered, her word was barely audible through winded breath.
With sheer ferocity, Squall Leonhart extended his right arm knocking off the folder from the tabletop. Individual sheets of paper soared up to the air as Squall made contact with the thick folder he had placed on the table. The white paper leafs filled the room like bitter snow reflecting the coldness in Squall's heart.
"How could you, how could I? Damn it!" he bellowed trying to vocalize his anger. "I ordered her capture and subsequent execution for the crime! Rinoa…oh Hyne, Rinoa what have I done to you?"
The emotionally battered woman stood, not with certainty, but only with sheer will power to explain the treachery. "You must listen to me Squall. Too many…too many more lives will be shattered."
"Shattered!" he screamed back to her. "I think it's a little too late for that. You tell me where in the hell she is and maybe you will be out of prison in time to enjoy retirement. Making false accusations is a punishable crime in this country. You help me and I will ask the judge for leniency on my poor, foolish wife. Lie to me again…I personally will sentence you to death"
"You don't understand Squall…I'm dead either way."
This statement distracted his line of thinking. "What do you mean you're dead?"
She walked silently to their glass veranda doors, gazing to the chasm of the night sky. Squall said nothing. Quistis could feel the eyes of her husband piercing the heart beating inside her chest. She heard his heavy breathing, not for one instance daring to glance in his direction.
"You must listen to the whole story Squall. Lives were lost, innocents that I, that we, fought to protect."
"You have five minutes before I call security," he vowed malevolently.
Quistis knew nothing she could say that would ease his hatred. The only hope was making him understand why the deception, the treachery, and the fraud demonstrated toward him, Garden…and Rinoa.
Glacial winds were chilling down to her very bone. Life was easily lost in temperatures, circumstances such as these. Rinoa would become a statistic, a forgotten memory to all who had ever known her. Would that be the worst thing in her pathetic existence in this world? Not really, but no one was going to hurt Allison, especially not that beast, that man, who had mentally, and physically abused her.
She stayed, yes. She stayed in Richard Bennett's residence of her own free will. Free will, that was a laugh, nothing was free in her life; everything had its price. Two years ago, if somebody told her she would live with such an abusive tyrant Rinoa would have laughed, all but calling him or her a meanie. She had changed, not for the better. Protecting the little girl was all she endeavored the last couple of years. Richard never once hurt Allison. In a strange twist of irony, he was an affectionate father just a wretched excuse for a husband, or for that matter, a human.
It had been long since she had ventured outside her dwelling in Trabia. A prisoner trapped within confines of four walls. Now the fresh Trabian air seemed highly overrated by local papers and news stations alike. The dark night seemed endless. She had been traveling for almost four hours and had no idea of her current location, nor could recall how most of the events had transpired.
The packed snow grew deeper with every passing minute; shelter was now the only priority. A small clearing through the crowded woodland appeared, and with it, so did hope. She could make out the silhouette of a building. It appeared to be a hunting cabin in the middle of the forest. The idea of a person vacationing in this snow-filled purgatory astonished her. With newfound energy, she quickly headed toward the shelter.
Night was the best time to make an effort to tell him, as blackness cloaked the terror concealed deep within her heart. The Garden continued its route to Deling City, gentle warm breezes played with the few scattered plants placed on the balcony. It was Quistis futile attempt to make the place feel more the home than a meaningless apartment. She examined one of the foliage, a small olive-colored shrub planted precisely a year ago…on the first anniversary of Ellone's death. It was now or never. Time was now her enemy.
"Squall, that morning…that morning Rinoa and I had the worst fight between us yet. That's why I had visited your office. She had been such a complete bitch the last two weeks. I personally wondered what the problem really was. In fact, I wasn't alone, both Selphie and Zell noticed the dramatic change in her behavior. Almost immediately after I exited your office, she was standing there. Rinoa's dark hair reflected her expression…it didn't even look like her."
"Rinoa stepped toward me, glaring directly to my eyes, spitefulness contained within her words…'Run to Squall when poor, feeble Quistis gets her feelings hurt. That seems to be your answer to everything instructor. Run to him, maybe he'll realize it was actually you he loved, not me. Why don't you just throw your pitiful self onto his desk and fuck his brains out? Hyne knows he and I have done just that many times before, oh that's right he doesn't want you.' I only could stare at her."
Quistis continued after a brief pause, "Unsure of how to respond to Rinoa's outburst, I couldn't make a civilized response. Actually, the opportunity never arose, at that moment, Galbadian forces rushed in attacking. Both of us turned to the entrance, she looked just as surprised as I had been. Again we faced each other, this time the look was one of mutual understanding…defend Garden. Personal differences would be solved later. We ran down the stairs toward the main gate. At one point a grenade was heaved in our direction, she pulled me behind a support beam to protect me from the blast."
Squall walked behind her, almost spitting in her ear, "So Rinoa might have saved your life, which is a very good reason to frame her for murder. With friends like you, my enemies are starting to look pretty damn virtuous. This better get more informative real quick…three minutes until I call security."
Squall's words did not faze her as she continued, "That's when part of the second floor overhang collapsed…we'd been protected by the support column. Then we saw her, we saw Ellone. Sis was out of the immediate area of the initial collapse, but she lay motionless on the ground. Rinoa had been unarmed and unjunctioned before the attack, my guess is she was going to rely on her slight internal magic ability… I just don't know. We ran over to her, when I got closer I saw something – a large piece of metal was going through Elle's chest. Sis was killed with shrapnel caused by the grenade explosion, although at that point, she had not passed away."
Squall did not move. "Killed by shrapnel from a grenade explosion? How fucking hard is that to say to everybody? I can see how you can get that confused with Rinoa stabbed Ellone with a knife. Yes, I'm sure the distinction between the two events was very difficult in that little head of yours."
"Squall, listen to the rest of the story please!" begged Quistis. "What I did wasn't right, but I tried. I tried so damn hard to rectify it!"
"Continue then my beautiful wife, please enlighten me."
"We were still under part of the overhang, Galbadian troops were making their way closer to our position. Ellone looked at both of us and smiled. 'It's all right'…she gasped, obviously in pain. I looked at her remembering all that transpired in her life, her past…and visible lack of a future. I wanted to comfort her. I wanted to be there holding her hand through this… I reached for it, but before I could get there, Ellone grabbed Rinoa's hand."
Quistis took a deep breath, looking at Squall for the first time since she had started the horrible recount of events. "Squall, Hyne knows it was petty, but she was my Sis. Rinoa barely knew her. First, I lost my chance for you, and then I lost the chance to comfort Ellone in her final minutes…to her, both to Rinoa. A quick intense light flashed, my first thought was that Rinoa was attempting to use magic, and then I noticed the aura was emanating from Ellone. Rinoa collapsed on the ground still holding Elle's hand. It was only for around thirty seconds that Rinoa stayed unconscious… She woke up startled, looking directly at Ellone. Sis opened her eyes for the last time and glanced toward Rinoa. 'He loves you and always will,' she whispered to the confused girl. Then Sis peacefully closed her eyes and took her final breath. Rinoa said not one word, to me or to Ellone. She dropped Elle's hand, got up, and ran. Not one word of explanation. I watched as the Galbadian troops followed her…at first it looked like they were going to attack her, and then they suddenly retreated. She managed to make it to the main gate and run."
The mystified commander looked at Quistis, "She ran, out the door? That would coincide with Zell's account, but not one word of why she didn't stay and help fight?"
"No Squall," Quistis continued, "nothing…at least nothing from her. That's when I heard a member of the Galbadian army announcing the attack on behalf of the sorceress. In my mind, that explained why the troops didn't follow her. I didn't have much time to think, the creaking of the overhang was getting louder. I had to move from under the unstable structure…the collapse would have killed me too. I grabbed Ellone's lifeless body dragging it a safe distance. Somewhere in the shuffle, the metal displaced itself from her chest. Crimson blood ran freely down from her open wound. Remarkably, it was the first blood I had seen, the metal had blocked the rush until it dislodged. I found myself covered in it…covered with Elle's blood."
"I held her in my arms rocking back and forth when a cadet came running toward me, followed by two Galbadian soldiers that appeared from around the corner. I thought for sure I was dead… Events rushed through my mind. I was making peace with the idea of death. It almost seemed welcomed. Yet the attack never came, instead the soldiers looked at me. One of them asked if the sorceress was responsible… I was either half-lost in my daydreams or half-lost in the resentment toward Rinoa for not staying to defend the Garden…the place sworn to protect her. I don't know why…to this day I wish I'd have that moment back. I looked directly into the soldier's eyes and said yes. 'Yes, the sorceress killed Ellone'. A minute later, you came rushing up, I could never speak the words to you directly…the cadet did that for me, I just nodded. Even years later, I never told you she did, I just never told you she didn't. Reports where taken from both my accounts and others, facts and incorrect conclusions were drawn."
Squall looked her directly in the eyes, "It was a simple question Quistis, a yes or no answer. How hard is it to say NO? Why in the hell didn't you retract your statement? After the battle, there was plenty of time to do the honorable thing."
Quistis attempted to explain, "Yes, there was. Believe me I tried."
"You didn't try hard enough," the commander scolded, interrupting the testimony.
"Damn it, I tried! The newly formed World Council was to handle the investigation. I was explicitly instructed not to talk to anyone about the incident. I had gone to General Mitchell trying to rectify the misunderstanding…I was warned clearly not to change the story. No, I was outright threatened. My life was not the issue. Instead, he threatened the safety of the Deling citizens. His last words to me before I left that day: think about what you really want. Think. The next day was far more tragic than the day Ellone died. There was an explosion…there was…" Quistis moved to the couch, sitting down she hid her face attempting to regain composure.
"What Quistis? What explosion?"
"The next day there was an explosion on an elementary school bus. Two children and the bus driver were killed. General Mitchell announced his candidacy for president that very evening. When making his public speech…" She found it increasingly difficult to continue, "In the speech, he said whoever was responsible for the atrocity better think. We will be watching his or her back, until the time of trial and execution for this horrible deed. Around midnight, someone slipped an envelope under my door. In it was the newspaper article about the bus explosion…in thick red ink, it contained only one word…think. I got the message loud and clear. I knew the kind of man Galbadia was dealing with. President Jefferson Mitchell had innocent children killed to keep the truth from coming out. A man who could overcome a sorceress' spell was a very powerful man, one to the citizens of Deling, would be the clear cut choice for president."
"And like good little infidels they elected him," Squall reproached. "And like the brain-washed commander, I fell right into the same trap. Why Quistis? Why didn't you just say no? How hard could have that been? It was a simple yes or no question. How many more lives will be lost to this?"
Quistis not acknowledging the last statement kept reliving the events. "After I agreed not to tell, the World Council mysteriously found a homeless man who was tried and executed for the bombing. The citizens were satisfied the real killer had been brought to justice. I know better. He is out there every day daring me to come forward, watching my every move. That is why you must never tell anybody… Squall no one else can die. Please, I beg of you."
"Quistis…I'm not you. I won't go yelling to the council that Rinoa didn't murder Ellone, but I'm not going to sit around and let her suffer alone anymore."
"I know, Squall. I'm sorry."
"It was a simple question, how hard was it to answer truthfully? Yet you got what you always wanted, didn't you? I am your husband. You got me. Congratulations Quistis Leonhart."
"I'm so sorry. Please if I could change this, I would. I don't have anything I wanted. I may have you in a physical sense, but never a mental one. Did you ever once look at me as your wife? Did you ever once not picture her when we were making love? Did you ever kiss me or was it always her in your head?"
"No Quistis, it was never you I looked at as my wife. No, it was not you when I felt strained to kiss you. No, it was never you I saw when I forced myself to make love, have sex, or whatever the hell that was with you. No, Quistis it was never you. See how easy saying no is?" Squall roared as he slammed the door behind him.
She knew this was the end. Everything she attempted to build with Squall, based on a lie. He would probably never speak to her again. Yet telling the truth lifted a huge weight from her being. Maybe he could find Rinoa, that is, if she was still alive. Maybe Squall could right her mistakes, much like Seifer, her hopes for redemption laid squarely on Squall's shoulders.
She picked herself off the couch and wandered like a ghost over to the balcony. Sliding the doors open, the instructor took off her golden wedding band. For just a moment, she watched the beautiful reflection in the full moonlight. Quistis looked at the symbol for the last time, and then effortlessly tossed the wedding ring out to the churning waves below.
