Standard disclaimers apply.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
Kaoru looked up from where she sat, slumped against the wall with a giggling baby in her arms. "Nani?" she asked wearily. She felt lost and confused. She hadn't even thought about Kenshin's future. All she had been focusing on had been his present happiness.
She knew that Kenshin wouldn't be able to tolerate dishonor. He was a very proper man and being forced to live with the knowledge that his mother had no husband would shatter his happiness as surly as a hammer would shatter glass.
She could see him, a five year old Kenshin, realizing for the first time that his mother wasn't being taken care of. She could imagine the hurt look that would enter his eyes. She could imagine the distance it would put him from the other children his age.
Following that image, she looked down at the content child. Maybe it wouldn't matter. Maybe he would be able to tolerate being born out of wed lock. The other maybe was worse for Kaoru. What if Kenshin turned to the life of a swordsman to recover the honor that he would feel that she deserved. What if . . . . . .
Enishi cleared his throat and she started guiltily. "Sorry, I got lost in thought," she murmured.
"It's been happening a lot to me lately, so I know what you mean," Enishi said simply. He was gazing at her intently, taking in her worried expression and the puffy skin around her eyes. "You look better when you haven't spent your whole day crying," he informed her.
"I thought you had a question," Kaoru said. She shifted her attention back to Kenshin, unwilling to be swayed by flattery. She didn't need to worry about what other boys thought about her right now. She needed to decide what to do with Kenshin.
"I want to keep him like he is."
Kaoru glanced back at Enishi. He was staring fixedly at her, but his eyes seemed out of focus. "I know," she responded after a moment, "You told me that before."
"What they said is true. He wouldn't be able to recover if he thought he was a bastard," Enishi announced.
Kaoru bit the inside of her lip. "But he's so much happier . . . . . . " she mumbled. She turned away from him again, studying Kenshin once more. "I think that he might be able to live with just a mother and - "
"And you? Can you live without - " Enishi began to say.
"No! How could you even suggest such a thing. Ever since I first met Kenshin I've been unable to live without him. I was sad about the thought of him leaving after I'd known him for less then thirty-two hours!" Kaoru exclaimed quickly, springing to her feet and holding a startled baby to her chest.
Enishi stood up and took a step towards her. "That's not what I - "
"No! Leave us alone!" Kaoru shrieked.
Enishi sighed. It was obvious that the ebony haired girl was worn out. She had turned things over in her mind for the majority of the day and probably most of the previous night as well. However, unlike him, she hadn't come up with anything. Every choice that she saw presented was unwanted.
As a result, she was having a breakdown. She had cried most of the day, dry and wet sobs tearing through her body. She had whispered sweet reassurances that she wouldn't let anything bad happen to the child, and then cried even more when he smiled at her.
He forced himself to check his temper. He was a patient man, and he knew it. He realized that timing was important. Planning was also important. He was good at patient timing, his Jinchuu being proof of that.
His revenge against Himura had been long overdue by the time he gave up. He had waited for so long. He had made sure that he was better and that he would make Himura suffer a fate worse then death.
Of course, that plan had ultimately failed, but that wasn't important anymore. All that mattered was making sure that the child didn't lose his trusting eyes. All that mattered was making sure that he didn't become something that he loathed anymore.
"I'm sorry," Kaoru whispered after a long moment. "I didn't mean to yell, I'm just, I'm just - "
Enishi cut her off as a fresh batch of tears threatened to overcome her. "Marry me," he said bluntly, and immediately cursed himself. He had decided that a lot of tact would have to go into his words. He had decided to make it more then just a request. He hadn't meant to ask her so abruptly. For a moment, he stood, several feet away from the woman and child, a look of shock on his face.
Kaoru looked just as shocked. She sank down against the wall again and stared open-mouthed at him. "What did you . . . . ?" she managed to get past her surprise.
Enishi sighed. He had made a mistake, but at least she wasn't screaming and hitting him anymore. "Marry me," he said again. "I want to marry - "
"Why would you want to marry me?" Kaoru interrupted him. "Is it because of Kenshin?" Her sapphire blue eyes were narrowed with a hard glint in them.
"Yes," Enishi responded. As the words came out of his mouth, he cursed himself again. "No!" he tried to correct, but Kaoru was already moving.
"Get out of my house!" she ordered. "Get out of Tokyo! Go to a nice quiet graveyard and just die!" She had marched up to him and was attempting to push him towards the exit.
"It's not how you think it is," Enishi tried to explain. He realized that she believed his words came from a desire to hurt Kenshin when, in fact, it was just the opposite.
"Oh really? So you want to marry me because you think it'd be funny to marry Kenshin's sweetheart, don't you?" Kaoru snapped. She had tears in her eyes again and was glaring angrily at him.
Enishi sat down abruptly, pulling her onto the futon beside him. "I want to raise Himura as my own child," he told her. He had pinned her wrists together with one hand and extracted Kenshin with the other. "I want to raise him, but so do you."
Kaoru didn't say anything. She looked livid, but at the same time, she looked lost and alone. She looked desolate. Enishi ignored her features and started studying the wall as he spoke.
"The way I see it, you can't raise him by yourself because you're afraid how he'd react later in life. Personally, I think that you're right, but there is an easy solution if you're willing to accept."
"What do you mean?" Kaoru asked.
"If you marry me, then we can raise Kenshin together, and he'd have a father. All we'd have to do is never tell him about his past. We could - "
"Let him believe that he's our child," Kaoru answered. "I suppose that's the kind of excuse you would offer, but - "
"Excuse?" Enishi inquired, raising one eyebrow quizzically. "I'm not making any excuses, Kamiya."
Kaoru didn't answer his question. "Let go of my wrists," she said simply. "I don't think I'll be excepting your proposal on the grounds that - "
"I won't leave," Enishi announced softly.
"Yes you will," Kaoru scoffed.
"Maybe, but I'd take him with me. I need him . . . . . . he's the only thing keeping me alive," Enishi whispered with a trace of irony in his voice.
Kaoru froze, turning to look at him. Enishi was gazing at the baby with a lost look in his aquamarine eyes. They looked like dead eyes, searching for a glimmer of life. He turned towards her, unable to hide the need on his face.
"I tried to get rid of him, but you put him back in my arms. You gave him back to me and I'll never let him go again," he whispered.
"Yukishiro-san, I think that you should - " Kaoru began to say, but stopped abruptly. "Can you tell me why?" she asked, tilting her head to look at him. "Can you tell me why you want to raise Kenshin?"
"It's stupid. I'm stupid," Enishi whispered.
"Just tell me!" Kaoru snapped. Her temper was still worn thin, and his self degrading was irritating.
"He trusts me," Enishi said flatly. "He looks at me like I used to look at my sister, and I want to protect him."
"I want him to be happy," Kaoru said after a long moment. "That's what I want most of all. I want Kenshin Himura the former Hittokiri Battousai . . . . . . to be happy. And you want to protect him. So maybe we should get married. Kenshin would be happy and you could protect him and - "
"Will you?" Enishi interrupted. "I mean, isn't 'love' supposed to be part of marriage?"
"There will be love," Kaoru said steadily. She had been turning things over in her mind, and realized that it was an easy solution to their problems. Her doubts on marrying Enishi faded away even as his own mounted.
"Really? I don't love you," Enishi said bluntly. He watched her closely, waiting for an angry reaction from her.
He didn't get one. Instead, she smiled. "Think about it. You love Kenshin, and I love him too. We're getting married because we love him. That means it is a marriage for love, just not the usual kind."
Enishi looked slightly anxious now. "I don't love Kenshin," he said hurriedly. "I love Tomoe and he killed her and - "
"If you don't love him, then why can't you just leave him here?" Kaoru interrupted. Enishi seemed to be losing his grip on reality rapidly.
He stopped for a long moment and glanced down at Kenshin. "I don't like his name," he announced. "I love him, but his name . . . . . I hate it," he said quietly.
"It'll have to be changed," Kaoru said lightly. "If we get married, he'll be a Yukishiro and if we don't he'll be a Kamiya."
"Marry me," Enishi repeated again. He turned to face her, a look of grim determination on his face.
"I will," Kaoru responded.
Instantly, they both felt better. There wasn't any uncertainty anymore. They were going to get married and that solved everything.
"I don't have anyone that I think should be invited," Enishi told her.
"I'll invite a couple of people," Kaoru responded.
"I need to sleep," Enishi muttered.
"I'll send out the invitations and get something to eat," Kaoru announced. She waited until he was asleep, then gathered Kenshin from his arms and headed out the door. She felt mildly shocked at the relief that was coursing though her body. Finally, there was no more indecision
She entered the kitchen and started supper. Then she started to plan her wedding.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
Author's notes;
Sorry about the delay. I had written at four chapters and was getting ready to save them when the power went out. I was so disappointed that I couldn't write in this story for a while. However, the story continues.
I thought about ending the story here, but then came up with several ideas that won't be put down, so I'll have to write them. The Kyoto group will be coming into the story in a couple of chapters, along with the Shinto priest who did this to Kenshin. You can expect a little bit of danger, so keep reading.
Thanks for reading,
Kissa-chan
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
Kaoru looked up from where she sat, slumped against the wall with a giggling baby in her arms. "Nani?" she asked wearily. She felt lost and confused. She hadn't even thought about Kenshin's future. All she had been focusing on had been his present happiness.
She knew that Kenshin wouldn't be able to tolerate dishonor. He was a very proper man and being forced to live with the knowledge that his mother had no husband would shatter his happiness as surly as a hammer would shatter glass.
She could see him, a five year old Kenshin, realizing for the first time that his mother wasn't being taken care of. She could imagine the hurt look that would enter his eyes. She could imagine the distance it would put him from the other children his age.
Following that image, she looked down at the content child. Maybe it wouldn't matter. Maybe he would be able to tolerate being born out of wed lock. The other maybe was worse for Kaoru. What if Kenshin turned to the life of a swordsman to recover the honor that he would feel that she deserved. What if . . . . . .
Enishi cleared his throat and she started guiltily. "Sorry, I got lost in thought," she murmured.
"It's been happening a lot to me lately, so I know what you mean," Enishi said simply. He was gazing at her intently, taking in her worried expression and the puffy skin around her eyes. "You look better when you haven't spent your whole day crying," he informed her.
"I thought you had a question," Kaoru said. She shifted her attention back to Kenshin, unwilling to be swayed by flattery. She didn't need to worry about what other boys thought about her right now. She needed to decide what to do with Kenshin.
"I want to keep him like he is."
Kaoru glanced back at Enishi. He was staring fixedly at her, but his eyes seemed out of focus. "I know," she responded after a moment, "You told me that before."
"What they said is true. He wouldn't be able to recover if he thought he was a bastard," Enishi announced.
Kaoru bit the inside of her lip. "But he's so much happier . . . . . . " she mumbled. She turned away from him again, studying Kenshin once more. "I think that he might be able to live with just a mother and - "
"And you? Can you live without - " Enishi began to say.
"No! How could you even suggest such a thing. Ever since I first met Kenshin I've been unable to live without him. I was sad about the thought of him leaving after I'd known him for less then thirty-two hours!" Kaoru exclaimed quickly, springing to her feet and holding a startled baby to her chest.
Enishi stood up and took a step towards her. "That's not what I - "
"No! Leave us alone!" Kaoru shrieked.
Enishi sighed. It was obvious that the ebony haired girl was worn out. She had turned things over in her mind for the majority of the day and probably most of the previous night as well. However, unlike him, she hadn't come up with anything. Every choice that she saw presented was unwanted.
As a result, she was having a breakdown. She had cried most of the day, dry and wet sobs tearing through her body. She had whispered sweet reassurances that she wouldn't let anything bad happen to the child, and then cried even more when he smiled at her.
He forced himself to check his temper. He was a patient man, and he knew it. He realized that timing was important. Planning was also important. He was good at patient timing, his Jinchuu being proof of that.
His revenge against Himura had been long overdue by the time he gave up. He had waited for so long. He had made sure that he was better and that he would make Himura suffer a fate worse then death.
Of course, that plan had ultimately failed, but that wasn't important anymore. All that mattered was making sure that the child didn't lose his trusting eyes. All that mattered was making sure that he didn't become something that he loathed anymore.
"I'm sorry," Kaoru whispered after a long moment. "I didn't mean to yell, I'm just, I'm just - "
Enishi cut her off as a fresh batch of tears threatened to overcome her. "Marry me," he said bluntly, and immediately cursed himself. He had decided that a lot of tact would have to go into his words. He had decided to make it more then just a request. He hadn't meant to ask her so abruptly. For a moment, he stood, several feet away from the woman and child, a look of shock on his face.
Kaoru looked just as shocked. She sank down against the wall again and stared open-mouthed at him. "What did you . . . . ?" she managed to get past her surprise.
Enishi sighed. He had made a mistake, but at least she wasn't screaming and hitting him anymore. "Marry me," he said again. "I want to marry - "
"Why would you want to marry me?" Kaoru interrupted him. "Is it because of Kenshin?" Her sapphire blue eyes were narrowed with a hard glint in them.
"Yes," Enishi responded. As the words came out of his mouth, he cursed himself again. "No!" he tried to correct, but Kaoru was already moving.
"Get out of my house!" she ordered. "Get out of Tokyo! Go to a nice quiet graveyard and just die!" She had marched up to him and was attempting to push him towards the exit.
"It's not how you think it is," Enishi tried to explain. He realized that she believed his words came from a desire to hurt Kenshin when, in fact, it was just the opposite.
"Oh really? So you want to marry me because you think it'd be funny to marry Kenshin's sweetheart, don't you?" Kaoru snapped. She had tears in her eyes again and was glaring angrily at him.
Enishi sat down abruptly, pulling her onto the futon beside him. "I want to raise Himura as my own child," he told her. He had pinned her wrists together with one hand and extracted Kenshin with the other. "I want to raise him, but so do you."
Kaoru didn't say anything. She looked livid, but at the same time, she looked lost and alone. She looked desolate. Enishi ignored her features and started studying the wall as he spoke.
"The way I see it, you can't raise him by yourself because you're afraid how he'd react later in life. Personally, I think that you're right, but there is an easy solution if you're willing to accept."
"What do you mean?" Kaoru asked.
"If you marry me, then we can raise Kenshin together, and he'd have a father. All we'd have to do is never tell him about his past. We could - "
"Let him believe that he's our child," Kaoru answered. "I suppose that's the kind of excuse you would offer, but - "
"Excuse?" Enishi inquired, raising one eyebrow quizzically. "I'm not making any excuses, Kamiya."
Kaoru didn't answer his question. "Let go of my wrists," she said simply. "I don't think I'll be excepting your proposal on the grounds that - "
"I won't leave," Enishi announced softly.
"Yes you will," Kaoru scoffed.
"Maybe, but I'd take him with me. I need him . . . . . . he's the only thing keeping me alive," Enishi whispered with a trace of irony in his voice.
Kaoru froze, turning to look at him. Enishi was gazing at the baby with a lost look in his aquamarine eyes. They looked like dead eyes, searching for a glimmer of life. He turned towards her, unable to hide the need on his face.
"I tried to get rid of him, but you put him back in my arms. You gave him back to me and I'll never let him go again," he whispered.
"Yukishiro-san, I think that you should - " Kaoru began to say, but stopped abruptly. "Can you tell me why?" she asked, tilting her head to look at him. "Can you tell me why you want to raise Kenshin?"
"It's stupid. I'm stupid," Enishi whispered.
"Just tell me!" Kaoru snapped. Her temper was still worn thin, and his self degrading was irritating.
"He trusts me," Enishi said flatly. "He looks at me like I used to look at my sister, and I want to protect him."
"I want him to be happy," Kaoru said after a long moment. "That's what I want most of all. I want Kenshin Himura the former Hittokiri Battousai . . . . . . to be happy. And you want to protect him. So maybe we should get married. Kenshin would be happy and you could protect him and - "
"Will you?" Enishi interrupted. "I mean, isn't 'love' supposed to be part of marriage?"
"There will be love," Kaoru said steadily. She had been turning things over in her mind, and realized that it was an easy solution to their problems. Her doubts on marrying Enishi faded away even as his own mounted.
"Really? I don't love you," Enishi said bluntly. He watched her closely, waiting for an angry reaction from her.
He didn't get one. Instead, she smiled. "Think about it. You love Kenshin, and I love him too. We're getting married because we love him. That means it is a marriage for love, just not the usual kind."
Enishi looked slightly anxious now. "I don't love Kenshin," he said hurriedly. "I love Tomoe and he killed her and - "
"If you don't love him, then why can't you just leave him here?" Kaoru interrupted. Enishi seemed to be losing his grip on reality rapidly.
He stopped for a long moment and glanced down at Kenshin. "I don't like his name," he announced. "I love him, but his name . . . . . I hate it," he said quietly.
"It'll have to be changed," Kaoru said lightly. "If we get married, he'll be a Yukishiro and if we don't he'll be a Kamiya."
"Marry me," Enishi repeated again. He turned to face her, a look of grim determination on his face.
"I will," Kaoru responded.
Instantly, they both felt better. There wasn't any uncertainty anymore. They were going to get married and that solved everything.
"I don't have anyone that I think should be invited," Enishi told her.
"I'll invite a couple of people," Kaoru responded.
"I need to sleep," Enishi muttered.
"I'll send out the invitations and get something to eat," Kaoru announced. She waited until he was asleep, then gathered Kenshin from his arms and headed out the door. She felt mildly shocked at the relief that was coursing though her body. Finally, there was no more indecision
She entered the kitchen and started supper. Then she started to plan her wedding.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
Author's notes;
Sorry about the delay. I had written at four chapters and was getting ready to save them when the power went out. I was so disappointed that I couldn't write in this story for a while. However, the story continues.
I thought about ending the story here, but then came up with several ideas that won't be put down, so I'll have to write them. The Kyoto group will be coming into the story in a couple of chapters, along with the Shinto priest who did this to Kenshin. You can expect a little bit of danger, so keep reading.
Thanks for reading,
Kissa-chan
